By evening, Twilight and I were still pouring over the internet for supplies... For whatever reason the old man wanted us to. While rarity happily busied herself making saddlebags with the small sewing kit and thick cloth I bought her, We were browsing an outdoor website for gear.

I was thankful that Twilight picked up on the U.S. currency system fast, but she still addressed the prices using bits instead of dollars and cents. This caused us both to slow down, as Twilight had to point at the price she was speaking of with a hoof... And I can't seem to figure out what part of the hoof is used to point at objects.

Like a miracle, my meager funds lasted just long enough to buy the last item on Twilight's "be ready for anything" list, which included:

Six dog vests and scarves (Rarity had to be thoroughly convinced that practicality was our primary concern before she would consider wearing "pet garments"),

A six month supply of preserved food (presumably would fit in an enchanted saddlebag),

Sunscreen (I insisted, since we were already putting everything under the sun on this list. I happen to burn where there's a lot of sun, rarely ever tanning),

The extra charge for next day arrival on these items (for the sake of haste) left me penniless until my next day of work. I regarded this fact with disgust, and then got up to devour something, having skipped two meals to do this scavenger hunt.

Twilight wasn't hungry (for some unknown reason), so she made a cup of tea and sat down to read pony fan fiction on my laptop.

Sitting down with a few other ponies for a late supper, I took a bite into my BBBLT (bacon bacon bacon lettuce tomato sandwich. Don't try this at home unless you have a monster metabolism!) and heard an angry scream from the living room.

I would have normally laughed, but angry screams in my house do not go unattended. I got up and stood in the living room archway.

"You know what? Avoid the fictions tagged "romance" from now on. You'll probably get something a bit more worth reading then."

My mind chose to randomly tell me that I had eaten bacon in the presence of herbivores. Lots of it. I mourned the poor sandwich's imminent disposal, but it was for the sake of diplomacy.

Twilight snapped me back to reality. "SHE'S JUST A TOM BOY! how does that equal THIS? It's ILLOGICAL to presume so!"

"The sad thing is, most authors aren't presuming anything. MLP:FIM has little in the way of male characters to 'ship' with the female ones. I once saw a fan fiction where they shipped you and rarity together, to give an example."

Rarity left the room, looking quite green around the gills, while Rainbow Dash, who had seemingly been napping on the couch, fluttered over and closed the laptop.

"Don't read that crap, Twi. You said they don't know we're here. This kinda stuff happens."

Having said her message, the pegasus flew back to her place on the couch and settled down again.

Somewhere in Sandy Shores, the dimensional divide destabilized and released a pony. She harmlessly face-planted on the sidewalk, shook her head, and got on four hooves.

A walleyed pegasus with a grey coat and blonde mane and tail examined her surroundings. She swiveled her expressive yellow eyes and flicked her tail, taking in her surroundings.

She had landed at a busy intersection with plenty of traffic and quite a few lights to boot. The green, yellow, and red lights pleased her, so she sat where she was to watch.

Derpy Hooves is a simple mare, who enjoys the simple things in life. Clumsy? Yes. Confused? At times. But she wasn't stupid.

In example, she discovered that the pretty traffic lights were telling the cars when to stop and go. ...And not only that, she discovered that the white signs represented speed... Which is much more than most could from first seeing.

Derpy is a mailmare who is dedicated to her craft... And she cannot stand a mishandled package! The grey pegasus flew strait for the UPS truck.

Chelsea Belrose had slept dreamlessly for almost twelve hours when she felt an encompassing pain.

As her eyes peeled open, she pinpointed the biggest pain to be in her chest... But others were all around her body, including one on her face. She weakly raised a hand to the pain there, and felt a cotton bandage adhered to the spot. Gingerly putting her hand to the big pain in her chest, she felt another wrapped around her body.

Her vision and general awareness improved, causing her to find out some things immediately:

She was down to her underwear, and bandages covered sizable portions of her body.

Fortunately, she was also laying comfortably under her blanket, resting on her pillow and the formerly abandoned mattress pad.

She felt very sick to her stomach and wanted to fall asleep again, but one doesn't simply go to sleep again after sleeping half a day.

Unable to do that, she looked for Zecora. The zebra was laying to the right of her patient, keeping a close eye on her. She spoke while she was still motivated.

Zecora smiled, once again relieved that her patient was alive and well. "If your clothing is what you seek, you are wearing it as we speak."

"Would you rather be alive, well and naked, or be fully clothed, cold and dead?" She spoke with matter of fact.

"...You tore my best shirt and pants into little strips to save my life... For the second time today. If it weren't for that fact, Zecora, I'd probably deck you for the trouble this will cause."

Zecora chuckled at this. "Come now, we are barely on first name basis! Surely this moment is not the time for fists?"

The zebra gave a pitying sigh, and then nudged Chelsea to get up. "Are you well, and able to travel?"

Chelsea was reluctant. It would probably ache every step, and she'd have to let go of any manner of pride she had once before.

It was 8:00 PM, she was hungry, sleepy, and would likely have to crash at her boyfriend's pad (an occasion any witness will note is rare), after being forced to walk through the streets near naked at very late hours. In all likelihood, it would be most unpleasant.

Ryan Hall was a busy man, typical in his looks in every way. He drove a big brown truck around all day, and was paid well for it (If "well" is equivalent to near minimum wage). His driving record was flawless, and every single package he delivered reached it's destination in satisfactory condition.

...Except for one. Ryan had to admit he may have kinda dropped a somewhat large rectangular box, sorta denting a corner. ...And he may have kinda sorta put the relatively light package under a large, heavier one.

It didn't bother him. How could they fire him over a single box? It'll still more likely than not make it to it's destination. And the stuff inside was probably in perfect condition!

Ryan paused at a stoplight, obeying traffic laws flawlessly, and causing the poor package to be even more slightly squished. He sipped his lukewarm coffee and looked out the right window with all manner of casualness.

Contrary to popular belief, a surprising sight doesn't always make someone spit their drink. Spill a little when thrusting it downwards, after bubbling into it in an attempt to say "The flippin'...?", Maybe. But no liquid made a projectile course out of his mouth.

Said sight was a pony. Not just any pony, however. This is the kind of pony out of a children's show: small in stature, blonde mane and grey coat, yellow "derped" eyes, flying on seemingly insufficiently sized wings, and looking kind of desperate.

Ryan pulled over, clicked on the four ways, dumped out his coffee (may be spiked with something), and rubbed his eyes. He looked again, and could see it's lips moving.

He shrugged. He was pulled over, anyway. Why not let a hallucination into the vehicle? He opened the window, and Derpy flew into the back of the truck like her tail was on fire.

"Don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me it's ruined! It had BETTER not be- *GAAASP*! YOU'RE CRUSHING IT! It's a 20 pound package! You're putting it under 200!"

Wow. Pretty smart hallucination. But there's NO WAY it's hurt. Can't be! Ryan began to sweat nervously.

Derpy flew back, carrying the quite crumpled box in her forelegs. After depositing it gently on the vehicle floor, she grabbed the white-collar worker's ironically brown uniform, and pulled his face up to hers. She shown with worry and agitation, but her eyes did not help Ryan take her seriously.

"That's a BASIC ERROR everypony in the mail industry can AVOID from DAY ONE! WHAT is WRONG with YOUR HEAD?"

She let go of the now wrinkled uniform and floated nose to nose with him. He shuffled away on his car seat to gain some distance.

"...Please? I always deliver things correctly, and I don't smash anything either. I'm not like my cousin, Dizzy Hooves."

Ryan thought back to his hat and packed lunch. Both were sub par, but might help get her to go away.

"Keep those. Take the package to Sandy Shores apartment complex, number 165. Far right column, top floor. Ask for Louis Anderson."

He watched her fly out the window with the crumpled package, very much in high spirits since no blame could be placed on him for the package in question. He also got rid of a messed up hat and a sub-par lunch (Never did like muffins. Why does mom keep buying them?) to boot!

The car horn made a honk as his head collided with it. He felt like he was going to the "special place in heck" (as his boss called it) for leaving his hat with a "hallucination".

Essentially, no man was in more trouble than Ryan. And it was his own stinkin' fault.

The purple unicorn had just discovered the "beautiful, literary masterpiece" that was "Cupcakes". Tears of horror streamed down her face from eyes like pinpricks. She ignored me for the 18th time.

"I've said it before, Twi. That story has a bad reputation. You never should have picked it up."

She mouthed the words she was reading off the screen, ignoring me for the 19th time.

Rainbow Dash was still sleeping. Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie were watching late-night baseball out of pure curiosity... Which was fine by me: I hardly ever use that TV for it's basic purpose anyway.

Fluttershy conversed on and off with Rarity, as Applejack and Pinkie got into the game.

"Fine. I'll leave you to your self inflicted trauma," I said, turning to the baseball game.

"What? Okay, listen. Just close the laptop and be done with it! It's not that hard! Raise a hoof or wave your horn! Simple!"

"Oookay, that's enough for you. Laptop. Gimme." I seized the offending equipment, freeing Twilight from her restraint of horror.

"Gracious, Twi, You're just as stubborn as you're purple." I shot her a frustrated glare.

"The phrase compares a psychological attribute of yours to an assurance- NEVER MIND THAT! No more laptop for you without strict supervision."

She stared me in the eyes. They looked a bit puffy, and had dried tear stains running down from them.

"If that's true, then go and take a nap or something. You still look exhausted."

She glowered at me, insulted that I'd suggest such a thing. "You. Are not the boss of me."

"I still know what you want. Your ears twitched slightly when I mentioned a nap... And your eyes twinkled a bit."

Her ears had twitched again. As she noticed this, her offense dissolved completely.

She walked halfway to the bathroom before stopping. She turned her head back to me, confusion and embarrassment on her face.

It was 9:00, and all equines residing in my apartment were sound asleep. The tub crash course worked perfectly, and all ponies had decided to take a quick bath before bed.

I, however, was once again the sentinel of the dining room. I kept my eyes trained on the door, prepared to intercept any and all comers.

Particularly in mind was a package from an enigmatic old man. I had no idea why it hadn't arrived in the afternoon like most other promised packages, but here I sat, waiting for it.

I heard a knock, much like hoof on wood. Having granted entrance to my guests several times previously, I knew it was a pony on the other side.

"Package for Mr. Anderson!" A grey pegasus with blonde mane, and "derpy" eyes gave me a little smile.

Oh. Duh. Of course it's Derpy. She has the box I was supposed to receive, after all.

"Oh, this? a nice man gave it to me after letting me deliver the package! ...Sorry it's crushed..."

I stared at the odd shape of the box. Someone must have rolled it down a hill before handing it off to her.

"NO NO no no no! It's not me! You know the man I was talking about? he had stuck it under 200 pounds of weight. 200. Poor guy must have been having a rough day."

She grinned. "Yah! I really oughta take this in stride, because the fundamental makeup of this portion of the multiverse could be changing as we speak, and then things will be REALLY different!"

A lightbulb switched on in her head, as she pulled up a form from seemingly nowhere. I simply signed it, being quite used to Pinkie's shenanigans already. It hardly surprised me.

Handing the pen back to her, I informed her that she needed to catch the UPS driver and hand the form back to him.

When she darted off, I locked up and headed to bed, ready to unpack the box and figure out how to use it's contents to the best of my ability.

Tomorrow, US postage willing, we would head out for The Friend in Deed's house for further information.

It had been very busy blowing open holes in the dimensional divide. It's handiwork caused the transfer of Lyra, Bonbon, Cherilee and a good chunk of her student body, and still a couple more colts.

It's thaumic tendrils had spanned all over the state, as it systematically created pony-sized holes in the divide, looking at each transferred pony as they came in 30 minute intervals.

The tendril network pinged on another colt with extremely high magic power, after much searching. It was quite pleased.

It contracted It's massive landscape of thaumic tendrils instantly into the bag. No one noticed.

The holes were sized so as to find Starry Lanes if he fell in, but their true purpose was to let the thaumic tendrils see more on the Equestria side of the barrier.

The bag released one single, large tendril through the hole relative to where Starry Lanes could be found. It made sure to do this slowly, so the winged unicorn matriarchs would not notice, or at least, not pay it any mind.

It knew full well of the panic It could have set on Equestria by making things slip through dimensions. The entire Everfree had disappeared, after all.

The invisible tendril snaked it's way up through the dimensional divide, slowly, seeking out it's prey.

A good looking 18 year old woman stood on my doorway, partially covered in scraps of cloth, and otherwise naked, save for her underwear. She happened to be carrying what I presumed to be her backpack, Which was quite full.

"Thanks," She said, stepping in and making her way to a secluded corner of my dining room.

"Oh! Right. Sorry. Kinda blew you off." She set up a pillow, blanket, and mattress pad, all of which I had no idea how she had gotten.

She sat on her makeshift bedspread, and took a tired breath. She let it out with a sort of melancholy sigh.

"After leaving you, I saw an old man who did magic standing by my car. He told me that I made a mistake, although I don't know how he knew about our exchange, and I ignored him."

Chelsea continued after a while. "I drove into Michigan State, and found the place overrun with a rain forest. That place... Never changed it's temperature. Always 80."

She delved deeper into her recap. "I tried driving over the roads which were still paved, and got my car completely stuck. I don't think it's salvageable. ...I walked the rest of the way to my dorm to get my stuff from the deserted campus."

She paused again for a yawn. "My method of entry was... Less than preferable. Something in the forest scared me so badly that I smashed right through the window and got all cut up."

"Yeah." She let out a nervous laugh. "When I got in the dorm, I thought that some students could be hiding in it. It was deserted, and... I stole my room mate's mattress cover."

"Well, great. You're guilty of petty theft, and there's no way we could find her to return it."

"And you're so much more justified for it. Continue, criminal." I really was upset with her, but it's hard to stay mad at someone who's very presence can make a bad day a good one.

Her face turned a little pink as she let out a short sigh. She brushed her now-undone hair behind her head before continuing. "That wasn't the only kind of stupid I was today. Never discover the deadly effects of Poison Joke first hand."

"Yeah. The stuff made me weak, short of breath, feverish, and in constant pain. I think I was getting oxygen deprivation, because my vision went dark just before Zecora found a cure."

"Yeah... She also noticed the rogue glass shard I had in my side before it did anything major."

"Quiet down. Your guests are probably trying to sleep. Now, that left me unconscious for almost 12 hours, and Zecora had taken the opportunity to take care of my cuts with what she had on hand: My expensive clothing I selected for meeting you that morning."

"I understand why you're near naked now, but I can't ever say I'll understand why you're upset."

She took this with a huff, and continued. "Zecora escorted me out of the forest and back here safely, where you see me now."

I wrapped her in a hug. "... If you had called me, I could have got you out of there."

"...No phone reception. I checked. ...And your car wouldn't have made it anyway."

I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and then turned off the lights and shuffled up the stairs.

I have nothing to tell you,

yet plenty to say.

Be sure to stick around:

This won't fade away.

I have plenty to hide,

and tons to reveal:

Much like an empty plate

that holds a scrumptious meal.

You do not see a picture,

and yet, here it is!

Source!

...Much like a dust speck

that's quite hard to miss.

I have plenty to tell you,

yet nothing to say.

Be sure to leave soon:

This will fade away.

"Contradictions", a 'because I can at the end of the chapter' poem

Author's note: I can't make zecora stick to her meter. What a shame...
In other news, This fan fiction might be slower in it's progress than previously. You know how an author has the beginning and the end of the story all figured out, but doesn't know of anything in the middle? That's me.
Wish me luck!

I've Got PONIES for ROOM MATES!

by Daaberlicious

CHOLD Chapter 9: Big Brown Truck