"Ma'am."
"What do you want?" They couldn't see it, but it was easy to imagine Overmare Mare glaring at Door Man.
"Um... Ma'am. I know I just have one job..." He sounded so unsure and small. "A job you're in the middle of getting rid of."
Overmare sighed softly. "You can do other things, Door."
"That's not the point, um, ma'am."
Stan glanced to Skyline and Giddyup. They were just listening to the conversation going on. Did they even know they still had the mic live?
Clip-clops. Steps one presumed. "I've seen a lot of ponies come, and ponies go. Mostly good, some not."
"Please arrive at a point."
"I will... Um... Applejack is a good pony, head on straight. She cares about us all the time, even when she's far away. T-Twilight... She hurt herself just hoping she could be useful, to us... I don't think I could do that... If she's not good, then I must be awful..." Door Man's voice was small and timid, as if he didn't want to talk at all, but he was doing just that.
To which she grunted. "What is your point, Door?"
"My point... is that there isn't a good reason to do... what we're doing... ma'am. Um, with all due respect..."
Other voices could be heard. Nearby guards? Some grumbling.
Overmare sighed slowly. "And what would you have me do, since you have suddenly become trained in vault survival techniques?"
"Um..."
"You have no idea."
"N-no, not really, ma'am... but this sure ain't right..."
Stan rolled his shoulders slowly with a few pops along the way. "Right. Like ah said, we just want to return a few ponies where they belong, then we can get out of the way. Easy as that."
Her voice suddenly got louder. "It doesn't work that way."
Skyline peered at the source of the voice. "And why not?"
"You really... Let's play pretend." Her voice diminished slightly. "I let them in, hirrah, everypony's happy."
Skyline nodded at the voice. "Sounds good. We get going then. I have other things to do."
"Deliveries to make," agreed Stan. "So, tell us why that's a bad idea."
"They've both gone, how do you say... feral? They've bitten the hoof that feeds them, even out of desperation. How do you trust that?" Her voice slowly increased in volume, leaning in? "Trust is a fragile thing."
Stan fixed the spot the voice was coming with a flat stare. "Yer kiddin', right? They've been pinin' wantin' to get back to vault life. If any of you ponies needs to regain trust, it's you. You attacked 'em. You kicked 'em out." He nudged the rousing pony on the ground. "Yer the one throwing them into the wastes with a 'good luck with that'."
"Overmare!" squeaked the technician, scrambling to his hooves. "Help!"
"Are they hurting you?" she asked nice and evenly.
"My head hurts, ma'am. I think they hit me?" He rubbed at the sore spot where he had been clobbered. "They aren't hitting me right now..." He looked between Skyline and Stan with equal distrust. "What should I do?"
Giddyup directed a metal hoof at the ground. "Please remain still."
"Follow the robot's instructions," came Overmare Mare's exasperated agreement. "Since you're awake, tell me the situation."
"Yes, ma'am!" He looked around wildly. "We're in the entry hut, ma'am. There are three of them. One human, one pony robot, um, two pony robots? The bat pony."
Skyline snorted at that description given to him. "He's talking about me."
"I gathered." That much she was able to discern. "Is there any visible damage?"
"Um, you should... the camera should be online, ma'am."
"Is it?" A few buttons being pressed. "Ah, good job."
"Pleasure to serve, ma'am... Can you rescue me, please?"
"With them there?" asked the Overmare with clear doubt. "I know enough to know when we have no tactical chance. If I unlock this elevator, I'm putting the entire vault at risk. Do you want to put your friends in danger?"
"No, ma'am," admitted the technician, defeat heavy in his voice as he flopped with defeat to his belly. "What should I do, ma'am?"
Stan shook his head slowly. "This is painful to watch. He's a little, what, foal? Asking his mom fer some help. That's you, by the way."
"That comparison wasn't subtle." A moment of quiet from the intercom. "I don't see the other three. Did you eat them?"
Skyline scowled at the speaker. "I'm not a damn cannibal... Why would you even think that?!"
"Then where are they?"
Skyline waved about in no particular direction. "Not here. They didn't want to be involved with this little 'attack', tepid as it is. They still care about all of you, even if that feeling isn't returned."
"Ma'am." Door was still there. "I'm opening the door, ma'am."
"What?! You stop that right now!" Scuffles could be heard, wrestling? The clip clop dragging against metal... Were they wrestling?
Stan wriggled a few fingers towards the speakers. "Door Man is braver than I thought he'd be. Hope you guards aren't going to hurt him. We're not here to attack."
A red light turned green. They could hear alarms over the intercom. The inner doors were opening. The elevator was unlocked.
Skyline pointed at that elevator. "You make sure that stays open. I'll get the girls."
"Sure, leave the easy jobs to me." He advanced on the elevator, which got cramped really quickly with Giddyup sharing the platform. "Yer lucky robots can't go on a diet." He slapped the button and the whole thing descended into the earth with the smooth motion of well-oiled gears.
"You are not welcome here," came Overmare Mare's voice, shouting over the speaker.
"Didn't reckon ah was. Just here long enough to make a delivery. It's what we do." The walls fell away as they descended into the vault proper. There were about a dozen guards glaring at him, most with guns raised, attached to their otherwise cute little hooves. "Even when the address is a bit hostile."
Giddyup swerved around Stan, placing himself ahead of his child. "Do not proceed."
Overmare Mare glared at Giddyup. "Are you talking to him?"
"I am speaking to all present." Giddyup stepped from hoof to hoof, eyes on the armed ponies, not that he had to stare, entirely for effect. "Violence is not required. Today can be ended peacefully."
Stan kept his rifle raised, fingers tense on the cold metal. "I don't want to waste any bullets."
"But?" Overmare Mare was glaring at Stan. "I hear a but."
"But I'm also losin' patience real fast. Sit your fuzzy butts down and wait fer the other fuzzy butts."
They heard a clunk, another pony stepping into view. The technician edged in a wide circled around Stan with little yelps of fear until he saw a straight line and he dashed with all the fury his body could manage to the safety of the guard line.
"We have returned one pony," reported Giddyup. "Three are in progress."
"Told you he wasn't like that." The voice was coming from near the floor. There was Door Man, tied up tight and wriggling helplessly. "He... may be a human, but he's a pony's human!"
Overmare Mare stomped the ground. "A pony's human? What is that? You just made that up, admit it."
"Well, y-yes... Yes I did, ma'am... Doesn't make it not true. Um... Sir?" He flopped over to look at Stan. "Would you pet me, sir?"
Stan blinked at this request. "Uh..." Of all the things he could have been asked, that wasn't the one he had been expecting at all. "Mind if ah ask why? Hardly seems the time."
"Just to prove a point, sir." He wriggled, but couldn't really get much closer, or further. He was near the line of guards. "Please."
Overmare Mare burst into sudden laughter. "You are a fool. He's a trained wasteland warrior. He won't come that close, then drop his guard to give you an ear rub." Her right ear twitched softly. "Besides, that's improper. You two aren't in a relationship and that would be even stranger."
Giddyup whickered authentically. "This is incorrect. I trained Stan in delivering agreeable petting." As a mechanical pony, he had authority on that subject. "Requesting permission to proceed."
Stan thumped Giddyup with a metal clang. "She ain't entirely wrong there. Awful lot to ask fer me to just wander up towards a firin' squad like that."
"Please," asked the prone and tied pony.
"Ponies will be the end of me..."
Overmare Mare thrust a hoof in front of the guard next to her. "Let him, if he lowers that gun of his. Put that aside and we can call it a truce. Go ahead, give Door what he wants and hurry back where you came from." She looked quite cocky, smirking at him. "Go on..."
That she expected him not to do something so dumb seemed clear. "Damn ponies..." He lowered the end of his rifle with a tired sigh. "If ah die like this, I'll deserve it. Put something dumb on my tombstone, Giddyup."
"Here lies Stan Harris. I will be unable to replace him. Courier to the end," Giddyup stated the potential epithet evenly, as was his way. "Please make your delivery."
Stan set his rifle up against the nearest wall. "Shit... Look, see, no gun." He held up his empty hands. "No knives, nothin'." The guards were watching him, tense and ready, but their guns were lowering too. A truce had been called, and everyone there seemed to be abiding it. "Now I'm comin' in, nice and slow." One step and the other, smooth, slow, and easy.
Door flopped over, no longer facing Stan but instead offering the top of his head. "Thank you, sir."
"Ah got no idea what yer goin' for." Stan crouched slowly beside the trussed up pony. "Can't free you." He wasn't going to reach for a knife with a room full of nervous ponies watching him. "But ah can do this." He gently mussed the mane of the prone stallion and worked towards an ear in little circles of rubbing petting.
"Oh, um..." Door began to blush vividly at the contact. "That's surprisingly nice."
Overmare glared at him. "This is obscene. Please tell us the point, Door Man. Why are we watching you get fondled by a human?"
"He didn't have to, ma'am." He peeked as best he could at the form petting him, but the angle was poor at best. "He could have left, any time. He didn't have to... But he came over here and showed kindness to a pony he owed nothing to... He doesn't even know me! Humans may be icky, but this one is nice."
"He is a good child," agreed Giddyup without hesitation. "Please rate the quality of his petting from one to five, with one being an uncomfortable or entirely dissatisfying experience and five being an exceptionally satisfying experience."
"Um..." Door wriggled against the ropes. "Being tied up while he does it isn't his fault... Can't give him points off for that, um... Four?"
"Rating received. Thank you. Your feedback assists in our improvement of services." A happy whinny escaped Giddyup, completely authentic. "Please return, Stan. Delivery complete."
"First time ah was asked to deliver somethin' like that." He rose to his full height and started back to Giddyup. "Now, no gun and ain't facin' you. If you shoot me now, 'least we'll--" A loud thump sounded behind him. He turned to see several guards pinning Overmare Mare to the ground. "What?"
"She was going to shoot you," gruffly reported a guard, holding her down. "Ma'am, you are relieved of duty for your unharmonious actions. You will be re-educated. A new overmare will be selected."
"Everyone alright in there?" Applejack was hollering down the elevator shaft. "Safe to come down?"
Stan picked up his gun just to sling it over himself. "It's safe to come down. The fightin's over and done with."