//------------------------------// // "Attack of the 50-meter Fleur De Lis!" // Story: Drabble Kaboom! // by Alex Warlorn //------------------------------// "Attack of the 50-meter Fleur De Lis!" "YES!" Sci-Twi said, currently a unicorn in a Canterlot tower. "I've finally figured what it is that enables dragons in Equestria to function within the square-cube law! And those earth ponies kept saying 'it's magic, accept it'! I knew visiting Equestria again was the right move! And I gotta admit Pony Flash Sentry is kinda hot... Ugh! No way. I am NOT falling into the parallel universe causality trap! I have a stronger will than that! And it's not like events happening to dragon Spike have happened to Spike." --- "And I hear-by make Ember Queen of the Junkyard dogs!" Spike said giving the flame ruby collar to the blue dog after having successfully gotten it before the big dumb red dog Garble. One of many dogs having been granted self-awareness by the stray magic... Which made things awkward for a young Garble from the Griffinstone slums when his dog Smolder said he was cool. --- "Now with this machine, combining Equestria Magic with human technology, I can make ANYTHING grow to giant size! ... Just need to test it first. Well test it on this apple, set it to lowest setting... And... AHH!" Sci-Twi, not as used to horns and hooves as she'd convinced herself she was... slipped... and the ray gun was jammed up to max, fired, blew its circuits, and reflected off a nearby mirror and into the streets below. ---- Fleur De Lis admitted, she didn't think she'd go from being an heiress who stole treasures around Canterlot just for the thrill to being the wife one of the most politically powerful mortal in Canterlot. But she wasn't about to complain how her life had turned out. Or the less than shocking revelation that her ancestor was apparently Celestia's body-double who'd liked her form so much she'd chosen to keep it. A purple sparkling laser beam struck Fleur De Lis, she tingled as all over, then hot, then cold, then just warm. And the pony grew, and grew, and grew... until she was 150 hooves (or 50 meters in human terms) tall. She was dizzy, but kept enough self control not to smash into any buildings. She looked down at her husband to make sure he was alright. He was safe, if as shocked and bewildered as herself and everyone else. Then Fleur De Lis blushed... as she realized many ponies now had a view of her underside. And she hear the flashing of cameras below... that would most definitely show up on next morning's tabloids. There were too many for her to stamp out. But she would have revenge! When magic went crazy, and Starlight Glimmer nor Trixie Lulamoon nor Sweetie Belle were within a mile radius, there was only one pony to blame. "PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" Fleur De Lis roared, ringing the ears of everypony around her. "RWAR!" She stormed in the general direction of where the laser had come from, and saw the unicorn inside. "YOU THINK HIDING YOUR WINGS AND WEARING A PAIR OF GLASSES WILL FOOL ANYPONY?!" Fleur De Lis boomed. "I'm NOT -PRINCESS- Twilight! I'm a Twilight from another universe!" "... Oh, so you're not the one who did this to me?" "It was a total accident. ... Oops." Twilight fled down the tower. She was caught in Fleur De Lis' magic and pulled out of the tower with a POP! "FIX ME NOW!" Fleur De Lis said deafeningly. "My ray-gun was damaged! It's going to take time!" "THEN I SUGGEST YOU GET STARTED!" Fleur De Lis whinnied, lifted the roof, and plopped Sci-Twi back in the tower. Sci-Twi frantically worked. The giant eye through the window looking at her like an angry goddess. But when she was just about done... a beam of green magic hit Fleur De Lis, who stood rigid like a robot. "Yes Queen Chrysalis, I shall obey!" droned Fleur De Lis with solid glowing green eyes. "I shall destroy Canterlot!" - "WHAT CHANGELING SUPREMISTS FREED HER THIS TIME?!" Rainbow Dash, Commander of the Wonderbolts exasperated as they buzzed the giant, trying to keep her attention on them and not on destroying Canterlot. Watching from another tower, a pony with sap instead of blood looked on with pride. "I live and serve Queen Chrysalis faithfully, and my good intentions don't back fire on me horribly, I don't blow emotional pain out of proportions, I am the total opposite of Starlight Glimmer," said Mean Starlight grinning ear to ear. "Brown noser," Mean Twilight huffed, she hated her mother, but she hated the idea of dying (again) even more, and Chrysalis had promised her justice on that stupid tree for murdering her and her sisters. And it wasn't like Equestria would ever accept copies like her as people anyway. "Now dears, I exploit you both equally," Chrsyalis said sitting in a chair munching on popcorn. - "And as you can see, my roboticizer ray has only peaceful applications," said Poindexter to the various investors and magic-tech ethics committee. Which Pinkie Pie and Gummy were on... mostly cause nopody else took this new branch of research seriously enough to fill up all the seats. "HELP!" Sci-Twi came running in. "I NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE CANTERLOT!" "Princess Twilight! ... I KNEW YOU WORE CONTACTS! Finally you had the courage to come out of the closet!" "I'm not-! Ugh! I look like the Princess I know and I have the same name!! We're... it's complicated!" "She's a mirror-clone! Kill'er!" Shouted a guard. "HEY hey hey! No no no! We don't do that anymore!" Pinkie Pie jumped in. "Hi Other Twilight who definitely isn't a mirror clone in spite of coming out of a mirror! I should know, I've checked out the human world plenty of times! So what do you need?" "Please tell me you actually noticed the giant pony outside under mind control!" "Yeah, but Dashie is taking care of it." "No she's keeping her from causing more trouble! I need more time to fix my growth ray's 'reverse' function (untested but I'm sure it works), and if I turn anyone else into a giant they'll just get mind controlled too! But what if their brain isn't something that the magic of this world is used to? I need a robot to turn giant!" Pinkie Pie grinned and looked at Gummy who stared at them blankly. "Oh I've got an idea!" ---- A minute later, a giant green alligator robot rose up on its hind legs to face the mind controlled fifty-foot Fleur De Lis. "Mega Mecha-Gummy Go!" Pinkie Pie cheered riding inside Gummy's head. "GOOOOOOO GUM-MEEE!" Sang some ponies heroically. "He's stronger than before! Goooo Gum-mee! The higher he can soar! Even up the up score!" "Destroy. Destroy." Fleur De Lis marched towards Mega Gummy, she fired her horn laser, making Mega Gummy stumbled back, waving his arms slightly, tossing Pinkie Pie to side to side inside the mecha. "Hold it together Gummy!" Gummy punched towards Fleur De Lis, punching her in the muzzle, making her stumble back. Fleur De Lis whipped with her enchanted mane, making sparks fly on Mega Gummy as they hit. She whipped Mega Gummy again and again in a mindless repetitive pattern. Gummy's tail end spun like a drill, and swung upward, catching Fleur De Lis' mane. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." Fleur De Lis said without inflection. "It's funny charged Pinkie Pie!" Sci-Twi shouted from a roof top. One of Mega Gummy arms opened to reveal Twilight's growth ray grown to giant size itself. "LOCK-ON and fire!" Pinkie Pie pointed dramatically, and fired the ray... Fleur De Lis over dramatically rear up and twisted around as she fell backwards, shrinking down as she went. Fancy Pants caught her, and kissed her, their horns touching, breaking Chrysalis' control. "My love! Are you back!?" Fleur De Lis hugged her husband. "I am dear! I am!... And once I get my hooves on that little mad scientist..." "Uh... time to hurry back to the human world!" Sci-Twi said. None noticed that the ray gun had blasted passed Fleur De Lis and into the 'abandoned tower' behind her. --- "Hurry up and get your wife to reverse this already!" Chrysalis shouted, currently the size of a doll. Sombra grinned. In the Lair of Evil, all were welcome (and free punch and donuts every Monday), but that didn't mean they had to like each other. "You know what I want Chrysalis." Chrysalis sighed. And in a green flame flash was wearing a cheer leader uniform, with braces on her fangs, and her mane in pig-tails. She raised up a pair of pom-pom and did a dance. "You're the better villain. You're the better villain. I'm such a loser. I'm such a loser. You evil plans are so much smarter than mine. You evil plans are so much smarter than mine. I'm just the bug queen, I'm just the bug queen." Chrysalis finished waving her flanks. "Now can you restore me already?" "Maybe a few more times." Chrysalis sighed, this was gonna be a long day. ~Fin