//------------------------------// // Ch 16. INSPECTION! // Story: Shouldn't Be // by Lumadous //------------------------------// Standing outside of a tall wooden door I was sweating bullets. I could face armed criminals who outnumbered me, but I couldn’t bring myself to knock on the door to the room that held my loved ones. How could I face them after what I had done? “Vhat are you vaiting for, get in there!” Said Sasha as he knocked on the door for me, and quickly disappeared despite his large size. “Ah told ya we didn’t want no room service!” Yelled Applejack from somewhere in the room. “But, I’m the best room service ever!” There was a gasp of surprise and the pounding of hooves as Applejack sprinted to the door and threw it open. Her eyes were bloodshot and there were streaks running from her eyes, and her familiar stetson was missing. Her mane was a total mess, the usual braid abandoned at some point earlier in the night. I just stood there, frozen, not knowing what to say or do. “DADDY!” Squealed Scootaloo as she catapulted from further in the room right into my face, knocking me off my feet and several yards down the hallway. “Don’t you ever do that ever again! I was so worried that they would never let me see you again!” She sobbed as she squeezed the life out of me. Maybe that’s why I’m always afraid of my family, they’re always trying to choke me! “I would never allow it.” I said gently, soothing the crying filly. “You’d better!” She said stubbornly, hoof chopping my forehead. “So, uh, how did you get outta jail?” Asked Applejack nervously. “I escaped and took Luna to see her sister.” “You filly-napped a princess just to blackmail your way out of jail?!” Yelled Applejack. “What? No, the princess brought me to Celestia of her own free will. But that is not important right now, you two are the most important thing right now.” Standing up, Scootaloo clinging to my neck like a giant orange necklace, I walked towards Applejack. “We need to talk, later.” she mouthed silently. I just nodded and walked past her into the room. It wasn't the room that was given to me but looked more like a room made for a younger pony, most of the furniture being smaller for a younger pony’s comfort. The only thing that remained large was the bed, which had a mighty pillow fort taking up the majority of the space. Attempting to lift Scootaloo from my neck was met by a fierce resistance, she was clinging to my neck as if I was going to disappear. Seeing how futile the task was, I accepted my fate of being slowly choked out by the cute pony and sat on the bed, leaning against the surprising sturdy wall of the fort. “Is everypony okay?” “We’re all okay, Rainbow Dash won’t be flying for a short bit, but other than that the Crusaders escaped from all harm.” Said Applejack as she jumped up next to me, leaning against my side. “So, umm, how long was I gone?” “You’ve only been gone for a few hours.” Scootaloo, nuzzling the side of my neck started snoring slightly, snorting every now and then, and her grasp growing tighter. “How much did she see?” I asked, fearing the answer. “Thankfully not much, a Lunar guard, something Hammer I think, showed up and evacuated them soon after you threw your knife at him.” “How are you holding up?” “Ah’ve been better, ah just can’t calm down, it’s like it’s still happening, an’ maybe it is in my head. Is this what your PTSD is like for you?” “Yeah, but hell, you can relax now, I've got you and as long as I am alive nothing will ever harm you or Scootaloo.” I said, stroking her mane as she leaned into me more. “But what if I wake up and you’re not there?” She asked fearfully. “Will never happen, I will never leave you for anybody or anything. You and Scootaloo are my life now. I will admit, it all has happened so fast, but I would never change a thing. As Luna as my witness, I will love you always and forever. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you. If you get sick, I will nurse you back to being healthy, if you get hurt I will never forgive myself, your wishes and wants are now my own. I will be your shield from the horrible-ness of the world, I will be your umbrella in the worst of weather, I will be your lighthouse guiding you home. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you marry me?” There was a long pause as Applejack sat straight up, leaning away from me giving me a look I don’t know how to read. Fearing the worst my heart dropped past my stomach, my soul crushed. I had ruined the only chance I had here to be happy, I could feel hot tears rolling down my face to disappear into Scootaloo’s mane. “Yes.” She almost whispered. “What?” I asked, only half believing my ears. “Yes! I will be your wife!” She leaned up over the snoring Scootaloo and kissed my forehead. My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest, a warm feeling spreading from my core, spreading all the way to my fingertips. “Come on, it’s late, and it sounds like tomorrow will be busy.” She said gently as she climbed into the pillow fort. “Come in and join me, nice and comfy!” She said, her voice muffled. Careful to not wake Scootaloo, I climb into the fort with my new fiancee, and soon I was in a deep, peaceful slumber. I woke up when a ray of light struck my face. Looking around the cramped interior of our little fort I saw Applejack and Scootaloo were still asleep. Applejack was sleeping across my chest, ear against it as if she was listening for my heartbeat. Scootaloo was on the other side, laying between my arm and my side on her back, her legs slowly gyrating in the air as she dreamed happily. Not wanting to disturb either of their slumber I just lay there listening to the sounds of them sleeping. It was not long before the sun invaded our little fort more, waking Scootaloo first. “Morning dad.” she giggled as she tried to wiggle out of the crook of my arm. “Mornin’ Scoots, sleep well?” I asked, rolling my shoulder forward to help her into a seated position. “Yeah Daddy, you being so lumpy you make a good pillow!” She said as she poked my abs. “Don’t you find it weird to be calling me Dad?” “Kinda, but I’ve always wanted one and this is like a dream come true!” She said nervously, before adding, “Do you want me to stop?” “Only if you want too, I find it cute to finally have a daughter.” I said ruffling her hair, “And besides it reminds me of my second best decision I’ve made here.” “Wait, I’m second!” She protested. I poked Applejack in her ribs and said, “Deciding to marry your mom is the first.” Scootaloo just sat there for a moment, just staring at me with her mouth open in shock. “You proposed!” She squeaked. “Last night after you fell asleep.” “I can’t wait to tell the others!” she said as she jumped out of the fort through its only window. “An’ they think you’re dangerous.” Said Applejack as she sat up and wiped the drool from her face. “I know, right?” I said, snuggling closer to her. There was a loud knock on the door, followed by a familiar russian sounding voice. “Cass, the guardsponies are avaiting your inspection before they start moving to Ponyville.” “Your inspection?” Asked Applejack as we disentangled ourselves. “Oh, yeah, I’m now the Captain of the Lunar guard as they move to Ponyville. They are coming to Ponyville to keep me from harming anyone.” “What about Princess Luna, they can’t just take all of her guards and leave her here without them.” “She’s also moving to Ponyville, orders of the court.” “Must have been one doozy of a fight last night.” She commented dryly as I pulled my undershirt on. “You have no idea. I can still feel Luna crying.” “Celestia made Luna cry? That doesn’t sound like her at all.” Poking her head out of the fort to watch me pull on my boots. “Yeah, she seemed cold hearted, but I guess she was just trying to protect her sister from me.” There was another knock on the door, “Cass, are you ready yet?” “Come on in Sasha, I’m almost ready.” “Sasha? That didn’t sound like a mare's voice.” “Because I vould make a very ugly mare.” Said Sasha as he trotted into the room, still in full armor. “Applejack, this is Sasha, my....”I paused, realizing I had not asked him what his rank was in the excitement of last night. “I am his lieutenant, or, vell I vas, seeing how ve did not have a captain before last night, I guess I am the acting captain.” “Ah, and Saha, this is Applejack, my fiancee as of last night.” “Pleased to meet you ma’am, if you ever have a need for me, ask.” He said extending his hoof to shake hers “An’ you too partner.” she replied cordially as returned the gesture. “So you are to be married already, you move fast my friend!” “It just seems, right.” I said, hating myself for not being able to say more fitting words. “And it vill be the best decision of your life, I do not know vhat I vould do vithout my vife.” “Now how is your wife takin’ to the move to Ponyville?” asked Applejack, who was just sitting in the window of the fort. “She is very excited to be out back into the country like her homelands, the city does not suit her.” “Umm, Sasha?” “Yes?” “The guard ponies are waiting.” “Oh! Yes, we will have to meet again Miss Applejack. But ve cannot keep the troops avaiting!” “I’ll be back soon.” I whispered in her ear as I kissed her on the nose, earning a giggle from her as she blushed hard. Following the stout guard pony out of the room and through the lascivious hallways. He stopped me by a familiar doorway and knocked gently. The door creaked open, an odd thing for the well kept castle. “Princess Luna?” Asked Sasha as he slowly extended his hoof into the doorway, slowly pushing it open even more. Looking into the room I saw the Princess, lying in her bed, seeming smaller than she usually did. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying so much and her mane was a mess. “What Sasha? I told you I didn’t want to be disturbed.” She sobbed as she lowered her head back into her vast pillow. Determined to end this now, I walked up to her bed and plopped down, bouncing her a few inches into the air. Putting my hand on the back of her head I sat there for a moment, before roughly grabbing the back of her head and lifting it up so I could look at her eye to every shocked eye. “What your sister said, she didn’t mean. She loves you so much that even someone like me, who if you hadn’t noticed, hasn't really ever been on her good side can see it. I can still tell that she loves you more than anything else. She was just trying to protect you from me. If I was in her position I would have done the same thing, just with less tact. You are lucky.” The Princess sat there, tears welling up in her eyes. “But she said herse-” “What she said and what she feels are two different things, she may have lived for thousands of years but she can still have problems showing and saying what she feels. Give her some time to reorganize her thoughts and get all this bad blood out of her head, and I’m sure she will miss you more than anything else. Anyways, sitting here cooped up in your room on such a beautiful day can’t be healthy. You're coming with me whether you like it or not!” I hoisted Luna over my shoulder, ignoring her protests and struggles. “Cass!” Thy does not have our permission to handle us in such a manner! We demand thou put us down, NOW!” She used her magic as she yelled that last word into my ear, forcing my knees to drop out from underneath me, causing me to drop the princess and attempt to keep myself from flattening her. I shouldn’t have worried though, Sasha, moving surprising fast for his old age, leaped under us, catching the both of us on his back. “Thou shalt not touch me in that manner again!” Yelled Luna. “Then how about this way?” I said as I reached behind her left ear, tickling the spot just between her mane and her ear. Her legs grew weak as she laughed, hard, tears of joy now falling. “Sto-HAHA- I coman- HAHAHA- please!” She gasped as she fought futilely against my tickle barrage while Sasha nonchalantly held her down, “So you're coming with us right?” “No!” She said defiantly. Resuming my tickles I asked again, “So, is that a yes now?” “I’ll Never Give!” She shrieked in laughter “Why am I here again?” Asked Luna grumpily as we walked out onto a large grassy field filled with dark-colored stallions in fancy war armor. “Because Cpt. Cass here has the ‘magic’ hooves.” said Sasha, who was bringing up the rear. “Fingers, humans have fingers and hands, not ‘hooves’” I said, trying hard not to laugh at his accent. “You understood vhat I meant.” “ATTENTION!” Yelled the pony who was standing in front of the closest formation, and I instinctively snapped to attention myself. “Umm, Cass, that’s for them, not you.” Teased Luna. “Ummm...Right, some habits die hard.” I said sheepishly. Walking up to Deep Stone, the Company’s First Sergeant, I returned his sharp salute, as he turned to face me. “At ease Soldiers!” I yelled out to the formation, the guard ponies instantly snapping to position in unison. “As you may well know I am to be your new captain, eventually. But until then I am nothing, treat me like you would treat your buddies to your right and left, and don’t make me make that an order!” “Alright Night Walkers, I hate wasting your time, so I will meet each platoon in order, while the others go and work on what needs to be done. Platoon Sgts, take charge!” It took me a few hours to meet all the Guards in all of the platoons, Luna’s shared memories gave me an unfair advantage. It had felt as if I had known all the guards for months, if not longer, and they had only just met me. After we had gotten done I walked back to the door that we entered the field from, Sasha and Luna moving to the opposite door headed to the kitchens to obtain food for the Princess, who had not eaten since lunch the day prior. Walking through the empty hallways towards my suite that, hopefully, my family was still in I paused, hearing a faint giggling from ahead. Cautiously I crept forward, being utterly silent, and sticking to the shadows where I could. Peaking around the corner at the door to my room I saw that the hallway was utterly empty, but yet there was still that sound of giggling! Creeping up to the door, remaining alert for any potential surprises, I eased my hand onto the doorknob before sliding the door only slightly forward, just enough to see if there was a trap awaiting me on the other side. Not seeing any I slinked away from the door, getting myself into a good charging stance. After a brief pause listening to the giggling, ensuring that whoever it was wasn't immediately on the other side of the door, I charged the still cracked open door. Bursting into the room I surprised all the ponies hiding throughout the room. Twilight, who had been hiding behind a table, had also somehow managed to launch a punch bowl across the room with her magic. “Surprise?” Said Rainbow Dash, the first to recover from the shock as I sat there laughing my ass off. “This is payback for the last time you tried to throw a surprise party for me!” “But I said I was sorry!” Cried Pinkie Pie, who was soaking from her impromptu bath. “I know Pinkie, just givin’ ya a hard time, come on, what’s this party for anyways?” Getting excited again, her hair bouncing back into its familiar curls, “It’s your engagement party, you silly!” “Yes, congratulations.” Said Fluttershy, uncharistically loud. “Can we be the wedding planners?” Asked Apple Bloom. “Ummm, ask Applejack, and thanks Fluttershy.” The other ponies, now over the shock of my sudden entrance, had started the party up. A white unicorn and a grey earth pony, using a soundboard and a cello, were discreetly adding music, an odd combo to be sure. Twilight, using her magic, was quickly making another bowl of punch while Rarity used her magic to dry the last bowl of punch from her fur. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were both attempting to get Fluttershy onto the dance floor. Applejack was just sitting serenely on the couch, surrounded by the CMC as they all bounced excitedly around her. Walking over to her, she looked up briefly before the excited fillies demanded her full attention again, all three of the gesturing wildly and talking way too fast for me to understand. Watching them for a moment I couldn’t help but smile at the young ponies enthusiasm to be planning a wedding for someone that they all knew personally. Applejack, on the other hand, looked like she was trying her best to keep some of the wilder ideas from becoming actual plans. “Hey girls.” I said, ruffling Scootaloo’s hair, “Mind if I steal her for a moment?” “Yes!” They said in unison. “Too bad, my party, my privageles, I promise I’ll return her, and besides that plannin’ can wait for later. Maybe you can try to see if one of your cutie marks is something to do with parties?” The three young ponies gasped in surprise, suddenly huddling together to decide on a plan for the party. “Thanks sugarcube.” She said as she allowed me to take her to the dance floor. Reaching the dance floor, I noticed all eyes on me, and that was also the point I realised I had never seen any pony dancing. I had no clue what to do, and I couldn’t use any human dancing because the only time I’ve ever danced was at my senior prom and that was only one slow dance. Tapping me on the chest and motioning for me to lean down, she whispered into my ear. “I’m sorry hun, but I ain’t much of a dancer.” “Oh thank god, I got two left feet also!” “Umm, hun?” She said, lifting her left hooves. “Sorry, human saying, it means that I can’t dance the greatest either.” The grey mare playing the cello, seeing our dilemma, prodded the white unicorn and said something I didn’t hear. The result was instantaneous though, they went from playing a faster, uppity song, to playing a slower dance song. “Follow my lead.” I said, taking her forehooves in my hands. Placing one on my shoulder and keeping the other in my hand. I started off slow, easing her into the unfamiliar steps. She had to lean heavily onto me, not used to being in an upright position. After a few steps that I remembered from my prom all those years ago, she had only stomped onto my feet a few times, but all the while growing better at it. By the time that we had worked up to the tempo of the song she was not stepping onto my toes anymore and was keeping up with me. Gliding across the dance floor in awkward circles, I focused entirely on Applejack, her half-smile as she focused on her dancing, trying to not step on my toes anymore, her nervous chuckle as I twirled her on her tippy hoofs. Every little thing about her just reminding me why I had fallen for her in the first place. All too soon the song had ended, and I had to let her go. We made our way off the dance floor with a blush on both our faces as the other ponies applauded. “Come on now. All we did was dance!” Protested Applejack. “But it was so CUTE!” Squealed Pinkie Pie, “How Cass looked at you the entire dance just oozed love!” “We’re just going to have to have a dance at your wedding now!” Cried Scootaloo. “Woah now! Thats the only dance I can do!” I protested, wondering what the hell I had just gotten myself into. “Well dear, I simply must teach you more then!” Rarity said. “Ah’ll need those lessons too. Most of the time ah’m the one makin’ the music with my fiddle. All ah can really do is a line dance!” Applejack said as she sipped on some punch that Fluttershy had handed her. “Certainly dear, not like I could possibly even think of letting you go to your own wedding and not know how to dance!” “Cass, can I join the party?” Asked Luna mentally. “Don’t see why not, and bring Sasha if he ain’t busy.” “HUZZAH, the invitation has been doubled!” “Cass, why are you smacking your forehead?” Asked Fluttershy worriedly. “Oh Luna just said something.” I said offhandedly as I reached for a cup of punch for myself. “Umm, Cass, Luna is not here.” Said Twilight, looking around the room for a ninja princess. “Oh, I didn’t mention we have a telepathy thing going on?” “NO!” Yelled Twilight as she tackled me, knocking the punch bowl over again, soaking a very angry Rarity, again. “Why didn’t you mention this earlier?” She asked as her horn glowed and descended on my forehead. Without thinking I grabbed her horn and twisted it away from my head, remembering all too well what happened last time somepony poked me in the head with a horn. She let out a squeal of pain and shock as I twisted her around so she was on her back on top of me. “Umm, sugercube, what in tarnation are you doing?” Said Applejack as she peeled my hands off of her friends still glowing horn. “Sorry, I don’t like horns near the ol’ noggin anymore, that mental link hurt when Luna made it.” I said as I released Twilight. Flipping her back onto her feet she took a few shaky steps before she collapsed onto the bed in a heap. Worried I had seriously hurt her I rushed to her side, stopping her from falling off of the bed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” “Its fine, I’m just a little dizzy, our horns are really sensitive.” She explained, sounding like she was going to puke. “Don’ worry hun, she is partially to blame also, she did rush ya’.” Said Applejack soothingly, leaning on my leg to let me know she was there for me. “Still doesn’t mean shit, just proves Celestia right, I am dangerous to be around.” I said, my vision blurring. “Your safe, what she said is wrong, relax.” She said softly as she pushed me down gently next to Twilight with her hoof. “What if I had broken her horn? Will something like that even heal?” I asked, my mind rushing at million miles per second. “Actually breaking a unicorn’s horn is near impossible.” Said Twilight as she regained some of her composure. “See hun, nothing to worry about, relax.” Applejack continued, stroking my face with her hoof gently. Taking a few deep breaths, I slowly heeded her advice, un-tensing almost painfully slowly. “Dad?” Asked Scootaloo who was standing nervously at my feet, “Are you okay?” “I am now that you’re here!” I said as I scooped her up, tickling her on the belly, causing her to giggle and kick her hooves in the air.