They were finally approaching. After two weeks at sea, the wooden vessel was finally approaching the false continent. The waters of the ocean were warped into a dark, purplish, syrupy substance by the amount of death magic surrounding it. The crew could often see movement beneath the surface ever since they disturbed the border of the currents. Bones would appear briefly at the surface then dip back down. It surprised few when a small portion of a creature the size of the ship itself appeared when they neared the beaches. The little everypony saw was pockmarked flesh exposing the bones beneath. A twenty-four gun ship was the same size as a living creature.
"Time to get off the ship, heroes," the captain announced sarcastically. The griffin stepped down from the steering wheel and shifted uncomfortably. His wing nub was bothering him again.
"Weren't you going to take us to shore?" one of the passengers asked frantically.
"I am." He pointed a claw towards a rowboat. "And my crew mate is going to row you there."
"What about coming back?"
"You have that spell thing the royals gave you, don't you?" The captain snapped his claws. "And then you're back to the port." He grunted and spat over the rails. "You're lucky I was paid so well for this, or I'd never come to this cursed place." His blue feathers shuffled nervously when he looked upon the island. Had he not a wound on the right side of his beak, one would have assumed he was snarling constantly. This time, however, he really was.
The island screamed gross and artificial. Fake mountains made of giant, sharpened bones from some unknown and ancient cadaver. Foliage of a purple, glowing huge, and lands made of white soil underneath. Who knew what erred about the lands? What horrors did the lich leave wandering about his own world?
"Hurry out of here," the captain insisted. "I don't want to lose my ship and crew to the delusions of aging royals and brats with a hero complex."
The first passenger looked at the griffin in shock. "We don't have a hero complex! We--"
She was interrupted by her fellow who pulled her away. "Let's just go. We're wasting time while the lich prepares to assault everything again."
The captain scoffed. "Entire armies have been sent here to subdue him and they've never returned. They only added to his horde. What are you supposed to do?"
"We have the power of Equestria and the world at our backs!" the second passenger declared proudly.
It took a while, but the griffin captain broke out of his stupor to control sudden heaving. "That was cringe, boy. Get out of here. Go. Shoo!"
The three ponies went into the rowboat with a gruff-looking pony that sported a disturbing grin the whole trip from the lowering of the boat to rowing ashore. He kept that expression and said nothing the whole time. The three weren't even sure that he was blinking. Eventually, the vessel slid upon the beach with a 'schkrr' and a sudden bump.
"Let's go," one of the 'heroes' declared.
The creepy sailor waved them goodbye then pushed the ship back into the water by sheer strength of using the oars like makeshift legs. The three ponies watched him sail away towards the warship, his expression unbroken and silent. It made the three shiver.
"Check your bags again to make sure nothing fell out," Sneezy Pollen said.
Sneezy was an off-yellow coated unicorn mare with a mane and tail cut and tinted to look like a paintbrush with golden bristles dipped in multicolored paint. Her cutiemark was a flower releasing pollen into the air. How she got it was always a secret she kept from other ponies who would meet her.
"I've got everything!" Ruby Bastion declared.
He was a bulky stallion easily a head taller than regular ponies. Being a crystal pony meant that his red body always shone and glittered in the presence of light and accentuated his cutie mark which depicted a bent iron bar. Ruby sported thick armor with magic spells and runes of seven different cultures from across the world that conferred untold protection. It resembled a simple iron plating, but changed colors depending on what type of spell or weapon was going to strike him. It cost the royals a phenomenal amount of bits to have made and enchanted.
"What about you, Cobalt? You have everything?" he asked his friend.
Said pony dug through her bag and grit her teeth in annoyance. "I forgot my towel and a camera to commemorate our victory, and I told you to just call me Stream."
Cobalt Stream's wings and hooves were surrounded by a semi-transparent, extremely sharp film meant to chop through even magical spells. She would be able to tear away the spells animating the dead and free the souls trapped within. Her coat was a pale blue laced with several stripes of yellow. Her eyes followed a similar pattern, but her deep orange mane and tale were stricken back like she was flying at high speeds through the air.
Ruby glanced at her flank covered by extra cloth attached to her saddlebags several times. His eyes shot to hers, then her flank, then to hers again.
"No," she stated flatly.
"But we might die! I want to know what your cutie mark is!"
The mare spun around and stomped the ground, crushing some protruding bones. "No! I've told you before, Ruby. You're not seeing my cutie mark! It's not important, anyways!" She snorted and spun around in a huff while readjusting her saddlebags. "They aren't important anyways. Always basing your personality off of it. Psch."
Ruby couldn't find the right words to apologize but stopped trying when Sneezy put a hoof on his bulky shoulder.
"Your curiosity can really get aggravating at times," she said.
The stallion nodded silently. "I know, but seeing as we're going to do what the past heroes could not, there was no guarantee any of us are going to survive, and I didn't want to take a peak if...you know. Would be rude."
Pollen understood his explanation, even if it sounded odd, but she acquiesced and hurried forward. "Alright everypony. Stay close together and don't touch anything. Gotta keep ourselves as fresh as possible if we're going to confront the lich."
Ruby stepped forward and rubbed his chin pensively. "I believe he might be in that castle on the side of the mountain up there," he stated. The mares felt a tinge of uncomfortable familiarity. The stallion looked to the other two. "What do you think? Makes sense, no? Great evil. Fortress. Mountainside. We were dropped off closest to where he would be. Should only take a few days of walking to reach his lair."
The land was revolting. Everything had the sickly sweet odor of rot. The vegetation, if it was even plantlife, was a deep purple with only brief breaks being black colors, usually for the primary bodies of the largest plants. Tiny entities scuttered between the plants, tossing the leaves of ferns and bush alike. A lot were animated bones that had never been attached to anything. Rare were the reanimated animals, but none were too dangerous. Will-o-wisps fluttered around the trees and came from the bubbling cesspit that was one of the swamps of the continent which the group reached the next morning. The goop reeked with an indescribable fetidness that no mere words could encapsulate, but it caused the ponies' eyes to water and throats to crack.
They avoided whatever served as a foul concoction and did their best to not touch it. On occasion, they would see a writhing mass surface as a lump with hollow eyes and a featureless mouth. Melted bones could sometimes be spotted when they sank back down, but it was a rare occasion. The group wasn't sure what to make of it. Were the bones part of those things? Were they just being dissolved?
Ruby wanted to attack one and figure out how they worked, but Pollen and Stream had to stop him. The pegasus would have giggled at her friends having to walk the way, but the air was also thick with revolting essence. She felt like she was wading through crusting pus, somehow.
Several times they prepared for battle when they spotted hordes of skeletons wandering about the brush, but they never crossed paths with the invaders. In fact, Pollen could have sworn that she saw several hordes of zombies and skeletons actively avoiding them. They found themselves a little cave of bone and purple 'moss' to hide in on the fourth night, allowing them a moment of respite as Sneezy set up a false stone barrier to let the group rest peacefully. Stream had started a fire and Ruby was pulling out the rations and distributing them. They ate their dried fruit bars silently as they stared into the fire.
"...What is this?" Ruby said first. "We haven't had a single fight this whole time. It's like the whole island is avoiding us!"
"Yeah!" Stream agreed loudly. "We've been walking around for four days! Not one of these things has even bothered facing us. It's like...it's like we're not even a threat!"
They stared at the fire once more, listening to the wood crackle as it was consumed by the fire.
Sneezy cleared her throat. "I thought that the land would drain our life force, too. I guess that spell of protection was pointless as well." She shook her head and slapped the sides of it. "No! It must be a ploy to trick us into letting our guard down."
Stream nodded. "True. Could be that the lich is waiting for us to approach the castle. Wouldn't have to send his magic far to reanimate us if he killed us. We shouldn't forget that armies have been sent here in the past to destroy the lich and they never came back."
Pollen looked around and grimaced. "Have you noticed that the continent feels...weird? I mean besides all that hasn't happened."
"It feels like everything is lazing about," Stream noted. "Like everything is just relaxing and lazing about." She shook her head. "It doesn't make any sense. This is a place made by one of the strongest liches in history. An entire continent of undead, trapped spirits, and reanimated bones. Why would they be doing nothing?!"
The entire cave shook violently. At first, the group remained still and quiet, but another tremor pushed Sneezy into undoing her concealment spell at the entrance and to peer outside. A colossus the size of a six story building was stomping about, its upper torso sticking out from the tree line. It was made from hundreds of bones of different species and held together in an unknown, purple mass, giving it bulk and size. Its 'face' was vaguely spherical with a large concentration of skulls. Their eye sockets were filled with a glowing cyan ball of energy resembling will-o-wisps. The same lights were far less common but dotted the entity's body from its chest to a toe.
"That must be one of the legendary Tomb Guardians I've heard so much about," Ruby whispered. "This is so exciting! We should attack it! It could threaten us later!"
Sneezy shook her head. "We have to conserve our energy and health. Something like that is too big for us to take on in this kind of environment. It's best to find the lich, take him out, and everything will collapse afterwards, including the continent."
Stream sighed. "She's right, Ruby. As much as I want to try out our new toys on the undead, it's best to wait until the lich." She sat back down next to the first and puffed up her cheeks. "I really wanted to fight it. If we had an army it would've been doable."
Ruby hung his head in disappointment and lied back down next to the fire while Pollen recast her spell. The next morning was just as uneventful as the rest of the time the trio had spent on the supposedly deadly continent. They were dragging their hooves at this point. The stench and the lack of any stimulation had rendered them numb.
They were ready for the day to be the same as the previous ones. They had even gotten up earlier than usual in an attempt to avoid the colossus, but a familiar rumbling behind them dashed those hopes. The colossus was there, staring down at them.
"I got this!" Stream blurted out almost instantly. She rushed towards one of the entity's two legs and slashed furiously several times at it through the air before skidding to a halt next to her friends. "How was that?" she said between gasps. The colossus looked at its leg to see a single bone roll off onto the ground, leaving the trio dumbfounded. "Oh come on!"
Now they were running for their lives. It was exactly what they wanted.
"This not what I wanted at all!" Ruby screamed. "We were supposed to be chasing them, not the other way around!"
Pollen tried creating pits in the ground to slow the creature. Its legs would get caught in the holes, then it would somersault forward and roll back onto its two legs. The trio screamed in response.
"They're athletes now?" Stream screamed in disbelief. "That isn't fair!"
"Stop complaining and run!" Ruby chided.
The running only lasted several minutes. The group broke out of the forest into a small opening where a wooden cabin built from carved bone was sitting. On its porch was a rocking chair with something in it, reading a book. Startled, the three tripped over themselves and tumbled towards the house. The colossus skid to a halt, pushing several trees over. It looked at the cabin for a few minutes then turned away and started casually walking around like nothing had happened.
The three were watching over their shoulder and turned to face the reader who had lowered their reading material and was staring at them. It was just a torso draped in a moth-eaten black robe covered in glowing bones and purple flesh sewn into intricate patterns not too dissimilar to an emperor's flamboyant outfit. At least, that was the vague impression one had when looking at the robe. The patterns had all but faded away or fallen off with the rest of the cloth, leaving just the vague remnants of past glory upon the tattered robes.
The center glowed with blue spirit fire that was replicated by the creature's empty eye sockets. Its skull was missing the lower jaw, and there were several fracture lines across the surface of the bone. Floating to its left was a purple orb glowing softly in the darkness of the early morning.
"Oh! Guests! I've never had those before!" the entity exclaimed joyfully.