//------------------------------// // An Apple A Day Pays The Bills. // Story: What if Flim and Flam Were Raised by Granny? // by Triple-Rainbow //------------------------------// The sun above Sweet Apple Acres was beating down on Flim and Flam’s thin coats as they reared up their hooves, striking their respective trees with all the strength they could muster with each buck. Flim’s legs burned as his hooves begged for mercy, a plea that went ignored when he tried to buck the tree again, sending a small hoof-full of apples into a wooden bucket that sat next to him. He painted heavily as his brother fought with his own tree, kicking the base with a heavy hoof as he swept the sweat off of his brow. “How… How many apples ya got, Flam?” “’Bout a dozen or so… Buck. She doesn’t let us pluck ‘em off the trees with a spell. Can’t hit them with a stick either, we gotta buck ‘em. It’s always her way or the high trail,” Flam moaned. “If she’d just give us the farm then we could take care of everything! We’d be able ta pay the doctors, if she’d just give us a chance.” “I hear ya, brother. But, it’s not like we can do much since the land’s in her name after… After ma and pa passed.” “… Bloom looks a lot like ma, don’t she?” Flam wondered aloud, passing an empty basket to his brother as he continued bucking his tree. “Yeah… She’s got pa’s coat too.” “Just like us,” Flam said, an unspoken reassurance between them. In a small town mostly full of earth ponies, rumors would spread like wildfire about any “different” births. A lot of mean colts and fillies would parrot their parents, accusing their ma of having a one-night stand with a patrolling guard, or saying that the brothers were adopted because their “real” parents didn’t love them. Young ponies could be really cruel when they got creative. The two brothers had to grow a thick coat after that, and then a thicker one when their parents passed, leaving the two teens to watch after their grandmother and a little filly who was still in diapers. They took any side job outside of the farm they could to make ends meet. “… So, what are we gonna do, Flim?” The mustached brother asked in between futile bucks to the tree. “Princess Celestia’s gonna be here for the thousandth Summer Sun Celebration in a week!” “I know, Flam.” “We can’t buck over three thousand apples in just seven days!” “I know, Flam.” “And even if we could, we can’t hoof squeeze the cider we’ll need by then.” “I know, Flam!” His brother yelled. “I get it, we’re screwed. Up the Smooze’s Creek without a paddle, sittin’ in front of Discord with an oil painting, out in the rain without an umbrella. We… We’re doomed,” Flam’s brother lamented, falling to his haunches as he stifled his tears. “We… This was supposed to be our chance. Finally prove ta Granny that we can make the farm better. She could retire, Bloom wouldn’t have to start missin’ classes just to help out here. Buck! Those colts were right about us.” “Hey, hey. No they weren’t,” Flam consoled, before an idle thought struck him. “Which colts, again?” “Those big city colts, remember? They said we were just a pair of screwups and look. We’ve got a shed full of scrap and barely any bits to get by.” “Hey, we’re not screwups. I mean, do you know anypony else that can build those?” “What’s it matter when nopony wants to buy them? Granny won’t let us use them, and Celestia knows you and I can’t find a pony willing to pay what we’re asking for. Only pony who could afford them is Filthy Rich, and… Well, you know how Granny hates us talking to him about business.” “… We could just not tell her,” Flam mused. “You mean lie? To Granny?!” Flim asked, quickly rising to his hooves to match his brother’s height. “Flam, we might not be the most honest of Apples, but I’m not lying to her.” “We wouldn’t be lying, we’d… We’d just be throwing her a surprise!” “Flam, we… I can’t, Flam. I might be a liar, buck I’d lie to Princess Celestia if it’d help Granny. But her? Na-uh. Nope, I ain’t lying to the mare who raised us,” Flim decided. “Then what are we gonna do, Flim?” “I don’t know, just… Just let me think. We’ve got a week to do the impossible and convince Princess Celestia to drink Apple Cider so we can nab a picture and use it to advertise.” “Right, but we can’t meet our quota or afford to give a free,” he shuddered at that word. “sample to the princess.” “So… We… Apples, we need apples for cider, can’t get the cider without more apples,” Flim began to muse, pacing around the tree in circles as he muttered to himself. “No magic allowed, machine’s busted so we can’t use that. Apple family reunion!” Flim shouted. “They’ll be here for the Apple Family Reunion, we can… No,” Flim instantly shot down. “No help there?” “You wanna ask cousin Bareburn to work when he’s on vacation? Besides, we do this our way. We don’t need anypony else’s help. We just… Okay, so five days. They’ll be here two days before the Summer Sun Celebration, so five. Three thousand divided by five.” “Six hundred apples a day.” “Right.” “More if we want a full day of making cider.” “Okay. Three thousand divided by four.” “Mmm… Seven fifty,” Flam answered. “About an apple a minute between us at least if we work twelve solid hours.” “Okay… Okay, we can do that. Just need to take less breaks.” “Granny’ll tan our hides if we miss breakfast, lunch, or dinner. We also need to buck enough apples to sell at market without missing the three thousand quota for cider.” “Alright, yes, thank you Flam,” Flam’s brother moaned. “… Buck, we need more time. Can’t ask Bloom, she needs to be ready for school. Don’t want Granny to hurt herself…. Okay, so let’s say thirty-five hundred in four days.” “Eight seventy-five,” Flam answered hesitantly, causing Flim to hiss through his teeth. “Over eight hundred apples a day,” Flim lamented. “Okay… Okay, we can do this… Maybe.” He swiftly turned to buck the tree again, causing five apples to fall off of their branches and land in the padded buckets. “Eight hundred divided by two,” Flim stated. “Four hundred. But, for eight seventy-five, that’d be four thirty-seven and a half for both of us.” “Alright. And what are we at now?” “Um… Thirty.” “Perfect! How long have we been working?” “… Forty-five minutes,” Flam muttered, causing his brother’s smile to wane slightly. “Okay, a bit behind schedule, but… Is that thirty in your bucket, or…” “Each,” Flam answered. “Darn, I was afraid you’d say that… We’ll figure something out later. Let’s… Let’s just get as much done as we can and go from there,” Flim decided as he bucked the tree again. Unfortunately, the other apples in the tree appeared to more resilient than the few they managed to collect so far. “Buck. flam, help me out here. You take one side, I’ll take the other.” His mustached twin easily complied, if only a little sluggishly because of his sore hooves, and helped his tired sibling. With a little bit more effort, the two of them were able to clear two and a half trees in two hours, bringing up their required eight hundred total to a hundred and seven. It wasn’t long after that that the siblings both collapsed under a tree in exhaustion, taking refuge in the tree’s generous shade as they hid from the fiery tormenter that hung in the sky. With nothing but their ragged breaths and a few spells to keep them cool, Flim reached for an apple before recoiling his hoof, hesitant to touch the product they worked so hard to get. “What if we hire somepony?” Flam suddenly suggested. “What? What for?” “Bucking apples.” “Flam, we don’t have the bits to hire help.” “Well somepony in town must need something fixed. Pinkie Pie?” “Fixed the stoves last week.” “Rarity?” “Sewing Machines are good as new.” “What’s her face, with the glasses?” “We ended up breaking her speaker system and had to pay her back.” “Right… Celestia damnit, how are we supposed to get over three thousand apples?” “I don’t know,” Flim bemoaned into his hooves. The brothers were always great at cutting corners, keeping Sweet Apple Acres afloat another year or so with a good number of their ideas. A lucrative deal here, an endorsement there, and they had suddenly got their hooves on enough bits to keep their livelihood. The problem was that they always had enough to get by, but never a reserve or a surplus they could tap into. Still mulling over a few plans that could work, and also backfire immensely if they didn’t, the brothers sat under the tree pondering ideas until a young filly called their names. “Flim~! Flam~! Ya’ll out here?” The squeaky voice called out. “Over here!” Flim yelled, summoning the smallest apple of their family to their side. Apple Bloom, a young filly with a coat only a shade lighter than her brothers, and a light red mane that blended into her bow, bounded over to the two as Flim raised an eye brow. “Bloom? What are you doing here?” “Granny told me ta come get’cha. Lunch is on the table right now,” she chirped. “But Apps, aren’t you supposed to be in school right now?” Flam asked. “I was. Taday was a half-day.” “Half-day? I thought the half day was tomorrow.” “Yeah, I was pretty sure tomorrow was the half day,” Flam agreed. “Right, I remember. Thursday was a half day.” “Today’s Thursday,” Apple Bloom jumped in, causing the two brothers to freeze as Flam mumbled out a single question. “Today’s Thursday?” “Yup!” “Oh, oh shoot, Bloom. We’re so sorry, we didn’t know,” Flim apologized as he slowly got up. “We shoulda been there to pick you up.” “How did you get home anyway?” Flam added, rising to his hooves as he stretched his hind-leg. “I walked all the way over. Anyway, come on, the soup’ll get cold!” She said, turning tail and quickly galloping away as her two siblings stood alone in the orchard. “… Thirty-five hundred divided by three, then divided by two?” “Impossible,” Flam sighed. “Rats!” Flim hissed as the two dejectedly walked back to the farm house. “Fine, we… We’ll figure something out after lunch.” “Sure we will,” Flam agreed with the same bombastic enthusiasm of a rock. It was certainly bad if even “Mr. Bright-side” couldn’t even find anything positive to say. Still, they would endure and find a way to keep their livelihood intact, they had faced worse than a tight deadline and impossible odds. Flim just wished he could think of one of those times at the moment.