Midnight. It was straight up midnight and Applejack hadn’t gotten a lick of sleep. She tossed, turned, and gritted her teeth, but try as she might, it was impossible to ignore the racket outside. Under the serene light of the full moon, the timberwolves were unseasonably active, howling and yowling something fierce. The zap apple harvest was still at least a month away, so something else was going on to get them riled up this close to Sweet Apple Acres.
“Consarnit!” the mare cursed, the well of her patience finally running dry. She had apple trees to tend and sales to make tomorrow. There wasn’t time to be sleepy on account of a bunch of rascally wooden creatures up to no good. At this rate, she’d be more tuckered out than an insomniatic grizzly bear in the dead of winter.
Not even bothering to tie her mane and tail, the frazzled apple farmer stormed downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed the two loudest pans in the house. She was going to give those monsters an earful, the Granny Smith way. Charging out the front door, she kept the walls to her back just in case they got an idea or two until she found a good moonlit seat near the barn facing the Everfree Forest. At this point, she didn’t care if she woke up Celestia herself, she just wanted to get some well-deserved shut-eye.
“Shut your dang mouths, ya twig-riddled varmints!” AJ yelled as she furiously banged the cookware together. “Some of us decent folk are trying to get some shut-eye around here!”
She continued clanging furiously as the familiar, low lights of eldritch green flames died down in retreat. She slowed down her percussive pounding to listen for any more critters that dared to cause a commotion after that. Another brief flash of green caught her eye too close for comfort at the edge of the forest. Looking towards the source, one of the wolves had darted from the treeline, heading towards the orchard.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Applejack battle-cried before taking the saucepan in her mouth to give chase.
She galloped on three legs while continuously striking it with the frying pan in her hoof. She’d taken on bigger beasts in the past with her friends; one lone wolf wasn’t about to do the stubborn apple-bucker in. Nearing where she saw the shadow bolt to, she kept making noise, trying to run it back into the woods. Applejack kept herself on high alert. She couldn’t see any signs of an aura, but she could hear it rustling somewhere nearby.
“C’mon out! I’ll keep whacking this here kitchenware together until I can whack you upside the head with one of ‘em!”
As if answering her call, a shadow slowly crawled out from a bush at the border of the fence. Applejack leaned down, raring for a fight, but was surprised to see a different animal walk into the moonlight.
Instead of the expected Everfree monster, a prime specimen of an Equestrian Rough Collie emerged from the shadows. The beautiful herd dog bore long, black and white fur and shuffled forward with pleading, puppy dog eyes. The poor thing was panting from exhaustion after its run-in with timberwolves and Applejack’s chasing. If not for the canine's darker coloration, she’d be the spitting image of Classy the Collie, ready to bark up a storm to save some colt after he fell down a well.
“Well howdy there. What the hay are you doing all the way out here?” AJ dropped her guard a bit, but even dogs could still pack a bite. She wasn’t about to let the collie get the best of her, even if it did look domesticated. Craning her head down, she couldn’t see any signs of a collar or tags to indicate an owner. The dog mimicked AJ’s bending movements, but its eyes were drawn towards the cookware she was holding.
“Being a mite rude raising a fuss with a pack of timberwolves in the middle of the night, don’cha think?”
As if offering an apology, the dog rolled over and showed its belly. The pup flashed its big hazel green eyes, begging for either forgiveness or attention, she wasn’t sure which. AJ snickered and decided to risk a closer encounter of the furry kind. She gently placed a hoof and began to scratch, earning contented groans from the affectionate puppy.
“Well ain’t you a friendly little…” the farmer trailed as she quickly glanced at its nethers, “girl!”
Applejack loved dogs, and wasn’t shy about it. Her best friend for years had been her faithful little Winona, whom she absolutely adored petting and playing with. Hopefully she’d forgive AJ for having a midnight fling with the beautiful stranger. It was hard not to get lost in her perfectly fluffy fur. For just popping out from the Everfree, the dog’s clean coat was softer than her bedsheets.
“D’aw, you’re just a big, old sweetheart, ain’cha!” The dog groaned delightfully in agreement. “I bet Fluttershy could find a good gal like you a home lickety-split.”
After a minute or two of affection-filled pets, pats, and scratches, AJ finally managed to stop herself, earning a whiny complaint from the collie.
“Look here, girl. I gotta go to bed, but I can’t have you keeping me up all night wrestling with those timberwolves. You can stay a spell. It’s safer here with me and these here.” Applejack held up her noisy weapons for her unexpected guest to see.
The collie looked between the two pans thoughtfully, but then abruptly perked up her to attention and stared at the forest. Picking up on the potential danger, Applejack whipped around to make sure nothing untoward was sneaking up on them.
“Cover your ears girl. This is sure to scare those wooden rats away.” Applejack sat back down and readied to defend herself and her companion from any oncoming wolves. She held both pans in preparation to strike them together, only for the collie to jump from behind and snag the saucepan from AJ with her mouth.
“What the? What do you think you’re doing with—” Before she could finish her question, the dog seemed to grin fiendishly before bolting back towards the forest with her ill-gotten treasure. “H-hey! Get back here with that, you thief!”
Applejack scrambled to her hooves as quickly as she could, but the collie’s headstart was too much for her. Before she could even get close, the dog ducked into a break in the bushes, vanishing into the Everfree without a trace.
“Serves me right for cheating on Winona. Dang girl played me like a fiddle,” AJ complained, but couldn’t help chuckle at the strangeness of it. “I swear, she better not go burying Granny’s good saucepan in the middle of the Everfree.”
Dusting herself off, she went back to grab her frying pan and headed to the farmhouse. Seeing the lights already on and Big Mac standing on the porch with a sleepy sneer, she knew she’d have a bit of explaining to do before hitting the hay again.
One groggy morning of apple-bucking passed by uneventfully, with only a quick sprinkle of rain to break up the orchard workload. Applejack had kept an eye and ear out, but there was neither hide nor hair of that furry filcher from the night before. With her cart filled with a fresh bounty of apples for the afternoon market, Applejack pulled into Ponyville to get set up for the second half of her day.
The damp dirt path under her hooves yielded to loamy grass as she entered her hometown. A strong spring swept across the plains, nearly blowing her hat off her head as it carried the nostalgic scent of spring showers and dandelion seeds. She passed by the familiar thatched-roof cottages, waving to the neighbors she’d grown up around. It was a simple place that got a little more complicated every day thanks to the towering crystal Castle of Friendship on the edge of town. There were as many new faces she hadn’t had the time to greet as there were old friends she’d made on her trot through life.
Change wasn’t bad. It kept things interesting. She just wished it slowed down a step to give an old-fashioned girl like her a chance to catch her footing. Two years ago, Ponyville was just a little stop on the main line between Canterlot and Manehattan. Now, it was growing into a bustling hub of the newest rising power in Equestria.
Despite everything, at least apples were still apples. She didn’t have to learn a new thing about them to make her living like her family always did. Pull a wagon into town after an honest harvest, set up shop in the town square, and trade bushels of her family’s namesake for bits. As long as she had the farm, the rest of the world could change as much as it wanted. New friends could become royalty, old enemies could reform their ways to become better versions of themselves, and even dirty thieving dogs bouncing apples on their noses could…
“What in tarnation?” Applejack snapped away from setting up her stand, seeing that cocky collie from yesterday balancing one of her apples on her nose like a ball for a group of cheering fillies. She stood on her hind legs, walking backwards with the fruit sitting upright on the end of her nose.
“Stepping up your marketing, Applejack?” a friendly voice asked, pulling her away from the odd, impromptu show.
“You got me, Starlight,” the farmer answered, tipping her hat to Starlight Glimmer as she approached her cart. “Crafty critter must’ve snagged one of my honeycrisps when I wasn’t looking.”
The two ponies watched from the fruit stand as the dog started to bounce the apple while rolling it over and under. She tumbled it faster and faster until she did one strong strike from her muzzle, sending the apple high into the air. She jumped and caught the fruit in her mouth, crushing it and splashing bits of pulp and juice all over her onlookers. The dog landed with a spin and flashed a winning grin, driving the sticky fillies absolutely wild. They rewarded the talented pup with tons of pats and belly rubs.
“Least she’s got good taste.” The farmer turned back to her former enemy turned friend, who was brushing an errant appleseed out of her mane. “That Trixie’s dog?”
“What? And risk being upstaged by an amazing pooch like that? Not a chance.”
“Dang. Figured I might’ve been onto something. Just look at how proud that girl is of herself.” Applejack pointed at the collie, absolutely savoring the attention she was getting from the fillies swarming her adoration. “I reckon the girl’s got a great and powerful ego in her.”
“I’d almost say Trixie botched a polymorph spell, but she’s working on her sawing in half technique at the castle.”
“Guess that explains why you’re here.”
“You know it,” Starlight chuckled, sparing herself another stage magic session. While the dog wasn’t necessarily magical, it definitely had showmareship. The nearby parents had to pull their kids off the collie just to get them to stop going crazy with it. The dog whined in protest after losing her audience, but then snorted and moved on with her nose held high.
Starlight scratched her chin with her fetlock. “Any idea where she came from?”
“Not a clue. Clearly been trained, but couldn’t find a tag last time I saw her. My money’s on somepony new around here keeping her on too loose a leash.”
“You don’t keep yours on a leash last I saw.”
“Well, Winona doesn’t go around stealing saucepans after riling up a pack of timberwolves in the middle of the night.”
“Timberwolves? Is the poor girl okay?” Starlight asked in concern.
The dog waltzed up to a couple sitting on a bench, trying to act cute for pets, but was quickly shooed away. Instead of barking, the dog seemed to leer at them as she turned away to find her next mark.
Applejack smirked. “Yeah, I reckon she’s doing just fine.”
While the farmer finished setting up her trusty wagon as a fruit stand, the dog kept to her business in trying to solicit attention from passing ponies. Several unsuccessful attempts to garner more attention later, the collie gave up, strolled under the shade of a nearby tree, and laid down.
“Hey, what gives? I would’ve pet her!” Starlight complained, being ignored by the dog’s desires for love from everypony else. “Who does she think she is?”
Applejack laughed to herself. “Probably doesn’t wanna try pulling another fast one on me.”
“Well, I’m not above begging for attention.” Starlight smirked as she set off to satisfy her desire for doggie petting.
“Can’t blame ya there, Starlight. The girl’s got a coat that’d make Rarity jealous.”
AJ watched as her friend gingerly trotted over to the dog. As Starlight approached, the collie lifted her head and sneered at the approaching pony. She bounced to her paws and began barking furiously.
“Woah nelly! Might wanna back off there before you get bit.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m not gonna hurt you,” Starlight assured as the collie bared its fangs at her. After a moment, she scoffed and curled back down, letting Starlight slowly inch closer. It growled one more time, but gave up quickly enough, letting the trembling pony get close. Starlight cast a shield over her leg just in case as she reached down to give the collie a few cautious pats. After a few moments, Starlight lowered her shield and let herself savor the touch of the fluffy fur. “Oh my goodness! She’s so soft!”
Applejack noticed the vicious side-eye the collie was giving her purple friend. “Careful, I don’t think she likes you that much.”
“Nothing new there,” Starlight called back while still continuing to shower the canine with her affection. “Just another friendship hurdle for yours truly.”
As Starlight continued to pet her, the collie seemed somehow conflicted as it stared straight forward and away from the pony petting her. Applejack swore the dog’s eye was twitching furiously.
“Applejack?” Starlight asked with a hint of concern. “Did you give her anything to eat?”
“Besides the apple she stole? Nope. Why do you ask?”
“I think the poor girl’s starving.”
“What?” Applejack yelped in disbelief. “Can’t be! That’s the healthiest coat I’ve ever laid my hooves on.”
“But she’s all skin and bones underneath. Poor thing.”
The dog barked bitterly with pride at Starlight. The unicorn slowly backed away from the agitated pooch looking ready to pounce. She scrambled to her hooves and put some distance between herself and the collie. After a few steady streams of vitriolic barks, she finally calmed down with a pant and curled back down in her spot under the tree.
Even if she was an ill-tempered, thieving mongrel of a mutt, Applejack couldn’t help but feel sorry for the thing. She might not have Fluttershy’s way with animals, but she had housed plenty of critters herself. As if responding to her empathy, the dog perked up and looked straight at her. It got up again and slowly made its way to the fruit stand and curled up under the wagon’s harness.
“Well, you might be a lying, thieving varmint, but can’t rightly let’cha go hungry, now, can I?” Applejack tenderly stroked the rascal's fur. She reached into a small, magical cooler between her wagon's apple barrels and pulled out a small tin. “I keep these around for Pony Pet Playdates with Winona after work, but I can always get more.”
Applejack set the container down and wound the tab open, revealing a slurry of pasty wet dog food. “This here is the fancy primo stuff, so hopefully it’ll meet your prissy, frou-frou tastes,” the humble farmer joked. “Now, dig in!”
The dog’s eyes bulged, but not from excitement as she looked down at the food and then up at the pony who gave it to her.
Applejack’s smile fell flat. “What? Ain’t spoiled or nothing, is it? Just bought it last week.”
The puppy whined as it looked back down at its meal.
“Well, what’re you waiting for? A mug of fine cider? Sorry, classy girl. Ain’t quite the season yet.”
The dog puffed some air through her nose and then dove into her meal.
“Atta girl! Enjoy the good stuff.” AJ ruffled the dog’s ears and grinned widely as Starlight approached the cart.
“You and Fluttershy sure do have a way with animals.” Starlight sighed, looking at the fluffy pup with a longing for canine companionship. “Wish they liked me better.”
“Ain’t nothing special, Starlight. Just been around them all my life. You get used to their tells after a while. Gotta say though, this one here really knows how to communicate. Smart as a whip.”
“Snaps like one too,” Starlight added warily, seeing how the collie was still glaring at her. “So, are you going with Classy?”
“Whaddya mean?”
“Her name. It’s a little generic, but I think she’d wear it differently. The old Classy was the ‘Class-act Canine’ while this Classy here just has a stuck-up attitude.” The collie looked up from her meal and growled at Starlight before taking another breath and digging into her food. “See what I mean?”
“You may be right, but I can’t be naming somepony else’s dog, Starlight. That’s how you get attached.”
“Well, Classy seems plenty attached to you right now.”
“Shucks sugarcube, I’ve just been treating her right is all.” AJ ran a hoof through the dog’s fur again, but this time rubbing down the side. Despite her luxurious fur coat, she played the side of the dog, barely feeling a thing between the skin and her xylophone of ribs. “Land sake’s, you weren’t kidding. That ain’t a healthy lean at all, girl. Be sure to eat every last bit of that up.”
“What? So we just call her ‘girl’ until the original owner comes around? What if she’s like this because of neglect?”
“Look, the farm’s big enough for two dogs, sure, but I can't say this one here will get along with the rest of the family seeing how snippy she is with you. I’ll try to take her around to Fluttershy’s after work, though she’s probably still busy with that annual bunny census of hers. Might have to wait until tomorrow since she said she’d try wrangling them herself this year.”
“What, Discord isn’t helping her?”
“Him and Angel don’t exactly get along. Though, I can’t think of many critters that do.” A snap of sparkling chaos magic caught Applejack’s ear. “Speaking of…”
“For the last time, Discord, you are not part of my guard detail!” a stern, commanding voice yelled in the distance, pulling both mares’ attention towards the newcomers.
“Oh come now, Fleur. We’re the best of friends these days! Don’t you remember how we saved Equestria, mi amiga violenta?” Discord asked, summoning a discordant mariachi band playing under a banner reading “¡Las Salvadoras de Equestria!” behind him. The spirit of chaos himself donned a sombrero and poncho and joined in the fun of his clones with maracas.
Applejack rolled her eyes, as she watched two more additions to the town’s fabric go at it for the upteenth time, though in her book, one was admittedly more welcome than the other. She still owed the reformed spirit of chaos a drink for helping save their tails from Chrysalis and the changelings, but dealing with that trickster was still way more trouble than it was worth. Then, there was Twi’s new Captain of the Guard—really, her only guard—Fleur de Lis. When the runway model of a soldier had transferred in from Canterlot a few months ago, AJ was almost tempted to make a pass at her. Then she saw the reason Fleur came to Ponyville in the first place.
Rarity said that Zecora had scored a looker, but she was not expecting the zebra to attract a drop-dead gorgeous mare with the magical strength to back up her military rank. The lithe, white unicorn turned the heads of most every pony in town, but that dignified warrior only had eyes for the striped medicine mare of the Everfree Forest. She saw the two were definitely made for each other when she stumbled on the aftermath of one of their sparring sessions. The violent lovers caused more damage than a herd of buffalo stampeding through Canterlot.
That mare’s battle magic was something else. Big Mac had hired the guard to put a diseased tree out of its misery on the Zebra’s recommendation, and that monstrous flower had reduced poor Marybelle to splinters with a single buck. Unfortunately for Discord, it seemed said mare’s patience had run out, and she was about to turn that destructive force on him. With the unbridled fury, the beautiful captain filled her rear hooves with unstable magic and bucked Discord in the chest with everything she had. AJ winced as the charged smash attack connected with the distracted draconequus, sending him screaming through the sky, and disappearing in a flash of light.
“And I thought Starlight had the anger issues out of the six of us,” one of the remaining Discords complained, snapping the others out of existence. “I hope you’re not that rough with Zecora. You’ll put someone's eye out with those things. Mainly mine.” He knocked his eyes out of his head and polished them on his lion arm before popping them back in.
“Then stop bothering me unless you have something to report!” Fleur demanded.
“And do friendship reports not count? Twilight used to send them all the time to Celestia.” He unraveled a parchment out of thin air and pressed his face against it. “‘Dear Fleur de Lis, Captain of the Friendship Gua—’”
“The Twilight Guard! It’s called the Twilight Guard!” Fleur interrupted, her lovely pink mane fraying from the stress.
The spirit of chaos pulled back from his reading and quirked an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Sunbutt’s got the Solar division, you were part of Moonie’s Lunar Guard, and Twilight’s the Princess of Friendship. So…”
“I’m captain, and I say we’re the Twilight Guard!”
“Oh, ‘we’ are, you say? Finally! Then I accept my commission, mon capitaine!” Discord saluted, snapping into an elaborate royal suit of armor. “So, what rank am I? Supreme Commander? Chief Executive Officer? Waterboy?” Discord flashed again, popping into a hoofball T-shirt and shorts with a nozzled water bottle. He flicked Fleur’s nose, forcing her mouth open as he squeezed the bottle and fired a chunky, orange spray into her face. He reached a claw down and scooped up a smattering of it to taste. “Spicy jalapeño cheddar. My favorite!”
“Discord,” Applejack huffed, seeing the cheese starting to boil on the enraged guard, “would you stop messing with Fleur already? She’s liable to have an aneurysm at this rate.”
“Aww, but the Fleur-y of fury here is so much fun!”
“Do we need to get Fluttershy?” Starlight warned, lighting her horn to ready a teleport to her cottage.
Discord froze and gasped like a boy with his claw caught in a cookie jar. The literal cookie jar hanging off his claw certainly helped the image. “Fine,” he acquiesced with a groan. “Party poopers.” The draconequus rustled his claw around in the jar and pulled out a pristinely clean and unarmored Fleur from its depths.
Fleur, for her part, was doing her best to find her center again after suffering Discord’s nonsense. “Look, ‘cadet,’ if you want to help, keep your eyes out for potential threats to Equestria like you said you would!”
“Oh, but I am! I’ve been on high alert since me, you, and the rest of the side-character six faced down the changeling horde and saved everypony and every changeling from the tyranny of Chrysalis,” he bragged as he pulled the chord of an “Applause” sign above his head.
“If I recall correctly, it was Thorax and Starlight that ultimately saved the day since someone teleported us halfway across Equestria before we could grab our anti-changeling cream!” Fleur accused pointedly.
“In my defense, little Miss Queenie Meanie cheated with that magic-canceling, holey chair of hers. I mean really.” Discord snapped, summoning an intimidating, ruby jeweled royal throne, complete with scarlet plush cushions and deer antlers jutting from the top. “At least when I was evil, I had the good sense to include heated massage seats in mine. No wonder she’s been so bent on conquering Equestria. My kingdom for lumbar support!” Tapping the armrest, the cushions sprouted flaming hands which started working on his serpentine back. “Lower, lower, almost there! Ah, perfect…” he purred as his back lit on fire.
Fleur massaged her forehead, quickly losing what little patience she had forced herself to have with the spirit of chaos. “Just tell me if anything has slipped by instead of being so… you all the time.”
“Don’t worry your cute, zebra-flank-filled head there, Fleur. I can one hundred percent guarantee that no major threats have entered Ponyville. The worst I’ve seen today is that moody mutt over there.”
All eyes turned towards the Equestrian Collie from the Everfree, who shrunk back from the sudden attention she was being paid. Discord popped over to the dog, grabbed the pooch’s food-filled cheeks, and pinched, earning a low growl in return.
“Aww! Just look at its tired, widdle face. All bark and no bite.” He booped her snoot, earning an angry growl, followed by a vicious chomp on his lion paw. He withdrew it from her mouth, noticing one of his digits missing. “Okay, maybe some bite.” Discord blew into his thumb and a replacement finger popped up. “But trust me, this one couldn’t hurt a fly even if she wanted to,” he teased darkly, drawing a sharp claw under her neck to focus the collie’s attention on his mismatched eyes.
“Well, she could, but a starving stray shouldn’t bite the hooves that feed her, right?”
The dog growled, trying to muster a prideful defense, but she was quickly losing her moxy as Discord ran his sharpened griffon talon further down her chest and poked at her heart.
“Hey! Knock that off, you’re scaring her!” Applejack shooed the insensitive spirit away, patting the dog’s head to calm down the trembling collie. Still, Discord somehow knew she was a stray, so maybe he’d be willing to share a little more. “Any clue where she might’ve come from?”
“You’ll have to ask Fluttershy if you want the answer to that. Even then, I’m not sure this one will be so forthcoming,” Discord said with a shrug. Noticing the empty tin, he smirked and flicked another serving into existence. “Here, you’ve been such a good sport. Have another on the house. Eat up, pup!”
He retreated to a safe distance in a flash before the dog could bite him again. Seeing the food tin on the ground, she heaved a suffering groan and started lapping up her second serving, eating it as fast as possible. AJ scratched the collie a bit rougher, pouring a little more feeling into her petting that didn’t go unnoticed by her new friend.
Horseapples, she was getting attached to the poor thing.
“Well, as the Friendship Guard’s newest Waterboy, I should really get going. The kingdom isn’t going to stay hydrated itself!” The self-appointed soldier pulled out an umbrella and opened it upside down under him. A flood of water fired out of it propelling him like a hydro-rocket into the sky as he shouted, “Au réservoir, ladies!”
Fleur watched as her new, unintentional cadet sped away in a skyward water spout. “I’m going to have to ask Princess Twilight if it’s okay to hate your ‘friends’.”
“You get used to him. Somehow,” Applejack half-heartedly assured the guard. “Ain’t one bit less of a nuisance though unless Fluttershy’s around to keep him at least a little in check.”
The collie growled as she angrily swiped the emptied tin away with her paw.
AJ chuckled and nodded in agreement. “You said it, Classy.”
As the day waned, Applejack’s business died down with the sun. It'd been a good haul, unloading a barrel and a half of fresh fruit for a fair amount of bits. It was an honest day of honest work. Now all that was left was folding up shop and walking the unsold remainder to Barnyard Bargains to unload in bulk before heading home. Filthy Rich always paid a decent rate to sell the day-olds himself.
AJ started packing the business up, looking around for any sign of her grumpy canine companion. Classy had been meandering around all day, taking breaks next to her stand after doing whatever she’d been up to throughout the day. The mare had tried to keep an eagle eye on the sneaky dog, but that girl had a way of running off while nopony was looking. When she had been near the cart, AJ couldn’t help but fluff that black and white fur during the lulls in her business. Even though she was a thieving snake in the grass, the sweetheart absolutely adored the loving attention, and the farmer was happy to oblige.
A small part of her was kind of hoping she’d befriended Classy enough for her to stick around. She also wanted to follow the rascal to wherever she’d taken Granny’s pot. After one final check of the area, there was still no sign of her. AJ couldn’t wait around forever. With a sigh, she hitched herself to the wagon and headed off to see what she could get from Filthy Rich. As she started on her way to the store, she spotted a friendly face from her neck of the woods, Zecora, enjoying the twilight hours. She waved the mare down, hoping she wasn’t interrupting some meditation thing. These days, if she saw the zebra in town, she was usually looking for her marefriend.
“Evening, Zecora!”
“Ah, good evening as well, dear Applejack,
I hope your day has lightened your pack,”
the medicine mare replied in kind.
“Oh, you mean the sales today?” The zebra nodded sagely. “Always is. Nearly sold both barrels completely. Looking for Fleur?”
“I’m far too predictable as of late,
It’s true, I’ve come to fetch my lovely mate,”
she bragged with a waggle of her eyebrows.
For a natural poet, Zecora was turning out to be a surprisingly straightforward mare the more Applejack got to know her. Her speech always spun in circles, but the mare was about as blunt as her brother. She was always upfront and honest with what she wanted, cutting to the quick of things unless the zebra was wanting a lyrical payoff with her words. AJ admired that and could see why Fleur was hooves over horn for the mare.
“That’s as good a reason as any to keep up a habit, I’d say. Though I’m sure Fleur’s the last filly needing an escort through the Everfree after seeing the damage y’all do in practice.”
“My beau and I are a pair of powerful mares,
It’s quite difficult to catch us both unawares.
Still, the past few nights I’ve noticed a new guest.
An unknown beast causing the woods some distress.”
Applejack furrowed her brow. “Huh. Guess that girl’s been around for more than just a minute or two.”
Her curiosity piqued, Zecora joined Applejack’s gait and hummed curiously.
“A girl has arrived in town, you say?
Did you happen to meet her today?”
“Last night, actually. She’s an Equestrian Collie that was causing a ruckus in the Everfree. Must’ve been hauling her tail as fast as her legs could carry her with those timberwolves I chased off.”
“A collie? What sort of creature is that?
A fighter that can fight wolves tit for tat?”
“I think Classy might be able to outsmart them, but I doubt a herd dog’s putting up any sort of straight fight against a pack of them by her lonesome. I used Granny’s tried and true pan-clanging to get rid of them,” Applejack said with a proud smirk. “The girl was mighty appreciative, but Big Mac had more than a few words to say for waking up the whole family.”
“I suppose then there has been a mistake,
What I speak of leaves a much bigger wake.”
“You don’t say. How big are we talking here? Manticore, chimera, hydra?”
“Of its identity, I cannot tell,
It's covered its tracks surprisingly well.
One clue I might have is a strange fondness for metal,
I awoke and was missing my favorite tea kettle.”
Applejack laughed knowingly. “Well, if size ain’t an issue, that was probably Classy then. First time I met her, she took a saucepan right out of my hooves.”
“A humble pet braving the Everfree?
She must be quite clever to steal from me.”
“Trust me, she’s a beautiful dog, but she's as tricky as they come. Might be a little too smart for her own good if you ask me.”
As they passed through a few more houses on the way to Rich’s store, they spotted Fleur finishing up taking a statement from two ponies on the porch of their home. With a salute goodbye, the guard redonned the helmet she’d been holding in her hooves and about-faced once the door was shut. Seeing AJ and her marefriend, Fleur double-timed it towards the pair.
“There you are AJ! Been looking all over for you.
Do you have any idea where your dog’s gotten to?”
The farmer quirked an eyebrow. “Didn’t realize you were speaking in rhymes now too, Fleur.”
“Well, when you’ve got her as a girlfriend, you learn,”
Fleur noted with a smirk to Zecora.
“My precious flower knows how to make my love burn,”
Zecora finished with a sweet smile of her own.
Fleur’s confident smirk melted into a cheesy, fillyhood grin, but she chased it off almost as fast as it had arrived with a cough of embarrassment. She was still on-duty, after all. “Okay, but seriously. Where’s that dog now?”
“I haven’t seen Classy for a while now. She snuck off just before I closed up shop.”
“Well, that dog sure has been busy all day around town.” Fleur summoned her notepad with a pop and flipped it open with her magic while scanning the lines with her eyes. “I’ve got about ten different reports of missing cookware and two sightings of a big, black dog running around with similar pots and pans in its mouth.”
“Make that eleven if you want. She took Granny’s saucepan from me into the forest last night.”
The captain jotted it down and chewed on the tip of her pen in thought.
“The Everfree? Zecora, you don’t think… umm… something, something coffee pot blame?”
Zecora laughed at her marefriend’s failed attempt at a rhyme, but received the message anyway.
“It was a tea kettle, love, but yes. I do believe our thief is one and the same.”
Fleur nodded in agreement. “Well, even if she is a serial cookware stealer, the Everfree Forest is no place for a lone dog. And since Ponyville lacks a proper dog catcher, I guess it falls to the Twilight Guard to go find her, AKA me.”
“Well, lemme drop the cart off at Barnyard Bargains and let’s see if we can wrangle us a rogue little doggie,” Applejack offered.
“You don’t have to, AJ. We need to head home anyway, so we can take a quick look around to see if we can find her. Between the two of us, I don’t think a klepto canine is going to be able to hide with the two of us on the case.”
“Well, make it three anyway. She might not be mine, but I at least know Classy seems to like me. Maybe she’ll come out for me if we find her.”
“Fine. I know better than to turn down Elemental assistance,”
Fleur said with a quick salute. Her horn sparked, summoning her golden spear in the air which she caught with her saluting hoof.
“Agreed. Especially if this collie might put up resistance,”
Zecora finished with a wink to her guard-friend.
AJ parked her stand near Rich’s store and left a “U.O.Me” in the apple barrel. She’d probably miss out on a few bits, but she had to find a pilfering pooch. Luckily, all three of them were familiar with critters of all kinds, so she figured Classy wouldn’t be too difficult to track down. Following the reports, they set off down the trail towards the Everfree Forest.
With the sun setting behind them, they’d have to be quick if they wanted to catch Classy before the real problems started coming out. Applejack hoped that the darn dog had enough sense to find a home close to the edge of the forest. There were a lot worse things to run into than a pack of timberwolves in there.