//------------------------------// // Chapter 244 - The Chaotic Trio // Story: Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) // by CrazedLaughter //------------------------------// Your house… A while ago, months ago really, Discord had a surprise to show you. A gift of sorts. With Jimmy long gone, stepping out of the house was actually safe… Mostly. So, in a sort of celebration, he crafted a balcony of your own to sit out on, on a bean bag chair to observe the chaotic abyss of this realm. He kept it simple, nothing much more than this, and you didn’t mind that at all. If you wanted to add something on your own, you had the means. You were in deep thought. Diamond Tiara, hot damn, you couldn’t believe it. When it came to Chrysalis, she managed to convince King Thorax much easier than it took for you to convince Ocellus, and even then, you didn’t convince her all the way. Actually, you felt a bit of jealousy as well. It takes you so long to get anywhere with anyone, sometimes screwing the relationships you have, only for them to bounce back due to how forgiving the world is. But then there’s Diamond. Chrysalis came on to her quickly, Thorax as well, she actually seemed to have something you lacked. You sighed. “Am I really not that good? Those changelings, they fear me as much as they fear Chrysalis. But Diamond? She just… Damn. I’m supposed to be better than this.” “You know, for all the marmalade you give me for not confessing whatever feelings you think I have for Fluttershy, you yourself can’t seem to admit that, when it comes to a relationship, you are only one half of a greater whole.” Said Discord, who… Goddammit, he was resting right next to you on a lawn chair, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, sipping from a cup with tiny pineapples in it as a drink. “In fact, you’re quite the hypocrite. You’re allowed to invest all your time to save her while you try to stop anypony else from helping her unless YOU need THEM.” Discord then looks at you as he smirks arrogantly, slightly raising his sunglasses as he winks. “Or maybe you just think with all that insider knowledge and human bravado that you’re just better than everypony else. And if that’s the case, then it looks like you really haven’t learned anything.” DAMMIT, DISCORD! “Hey! That’s not it at all! I just didn’t want her to get hurt! The whole point is to not involve anypony, to not put them in danger.” “Ah yes, King Thorax, the most ruthless and powerful being in Equestria. How he makes me quiver.” Discord said with a chuckle. Ngh… “W-well, you’re still wrong. I was impressed with what Diamond did, you know that, right? It makes things easier for me too, I don’t have to worry about the hive screwing things up. Look, Discord, do you mind not doing your mind games right now? I’m still learning, but I told myself I wasn’t going to be an asshole anymore. And that includes including anyone that might get hurt in the process, that goes for emotionally too. I was trying to spare Diamond her feelings, and instead, she impressed me. Why can’t you accept that?” “Eh, fine. If you say so. Either way, I didn’t really come to antagonize you. I came to offer you a proposition.” Discord said, taking a sip from his cup. Wut? “A deal? What? What do you want to do to me to make tomorrow go smoothly, o petty one?” Discord takes another sip, then tosses the glass into the abyss. “To you? Nothing. Fluttershy has made it very very clear that I am to be on a behavior on par with Princess Celestia herself. I wouldn’t say Celestia is a paragon of ‘good behavior’, but fine, I get it. No, instead…” Discord holds out a letter to you. “I got an interesting letter in the mail today. I’m sure you’ll understand once you give it a read.” A letter? You plop on your horn to take advantage of its basic telekinesis and begin to read the letter. It was a letter addressed to the both of you asking you both to come to Las Pegasus to negotiate a partnership for a Hearthwarming special event. Free tickets for everyone you know, but also promises to be a supremely profit- Oh goddammit! “Flim and Flam?! Really?! These assholes don’t know when to quit. I already rejected the free offer to their resort before. So why are they trying this now?!” “I suppose they also expect us to behave ourselves given it is close to the holidays, making it the safest opportunity to make a deal. And, I must admit, our magic being used to create a very expensive to get into extravaganza would indeed be profitable for them. However, Anon, you know we aren’t going to agree to this. And we also know there’s so many ways to put down an offer.” Discord said, giving you an especially evil glare as he takes off his sunglasses. Ohhhhh, that’s it, huh? “So, another mission for the chaos compadres, eh? Okay, okay, I’m game. I really don’t mind teaming up with you for old time’s sake if it means you’ll actually be more agreeable tomorrow. So, what’s the con?” “Didn’t really care to think of one. I figured we stick to the basics and work off each other, as it should be. However, I did think of a motif for ourselves. Cool, suave, important, and silent unless necessary. How does that sound?” Discord said as he snapped his talons, donning a suit has his beard and hair slicked up in a professional manner. “A little weird, actually. I kinda expected a bit more chaos, especially with who we’re dealing with. It almost sounds like you want to play it straight.” How curious. You think you got it, just be difficult while acting cool, but it didn’t seem like something that’d get the kind of reactions Discord would normally be going for. “I do! Yes, being the strong silent business types may sound boring, but you haven’t seen our ace in the hole yet. But first…” Discord points at you as his talon lit on fire. Oh shit! “Discord! Discord! If you’re gonna dress me up! Do it with a snap and not aREGFDGF” You felt a flash of a burning sensation as you literally blew into flames and burned right into a black business suit and a cool slicked back mane, though your nose still had a tiny fire on it. You just angrily looked at Discord as you snuffed out the flame. “Had to get one in, huh?” “Well, I just wanted you to be a little more fired up for the grand reveal of our business mediator. Presenting…” Discord raised his paw and gave it a mighty snap. In an instant, Scootaloo appears in a business suit of her own, wearing sunglasses. “Scootaloo!” WUT?! “What in the…? Disco-er, Dad! What are you doing?! You can’t just force Scootaloo into this! Are you really going to be that much of a jerk? I get it, you don’t want to deal with tomorrow, but there’s no reason for this!” “Huh? Oh, hey! This is pretty nice.” Scootaloo said as she looked at the white cuffs with gold buttons on her suited legs. “Oh! Right!” Scootaloo turned around to look at Discord. “We’re doing this now, huh? Oh, hey, Anon, was that you yelling just now? Why?” …Why did she not look surprised? “U-uhm, Scoots? Er, um, I… You’re not angry? Or, er, scared?” “About what? Your dad is a bit late, but whatever, I’m still down to stick it to those two jerks.” Scootaloo said with determination before letting out a giggle. “Man, if this goes perfectly, I wonder if I would have been a cutie mark mediator instead.” Your face just contorted in confusion as you let out a “Huh?” “Oh, right, you don’t know what’s going on at all. You see, after witnessing your little snow war, I came to Scootaloo with the offer to be our mediator in trade of some rare buckball cards, including one featuring her favorite coach. She agreed. I then simply had to wait for you to get back from your little errand to get this whole thing started.” Discord said. “By the way, I think you should have fought the old mare. It would have been more entertaining than you running away from a bug.” “Ugh, whatever, Discord. Still, kinda weird for you to involve Scootaloo anyway.” You said, trying to figure out his reasoning. “I thought it was weird he’d offer me those rare cards. I would have done this for free. Those guys are really rotten. I still remember what they tried to do that one Nightmare Night.” Scootaloo said, sitting as she pounded her forelegs together. “I’m gonna be the best mediator anypony has ever seen! Just you wait!” “Oh, I'm sure you'll do fine. And why are you so suspicious, Anon? I’m simply securing the laughs to be had, nothing more.” Discord said, being a little more annoyed than he should be, crossing his arms in agitation. Nothing more? He could have gotten literally anyone else who would have been okay with this. Hell, any Apple family member would have probably been totally okay… Ohhhhhhh. You look to Discord with an evil glare of your own. “It’s because of ‘THAT’, isn’t it?” “B-because of what? Why are you looking at me like that?” Discord said, backing off a bit, like he knew what you were going to say. “I dunno, let me just take a guess. Either you involved Scootaloo because of what you said, or you were FOURTHED into it! Haha!” You laughed, figuring it out. His emotions must have acted up. You don’t know why it did, but for some reason, the memories of Four must have bubbled up within him, and it made him want to involve Scootaloo while giving her something a little extra for essentially nothing. “Is that a pun? What does Fourthe-Ohh! You mean… Discord…” Scootaloo looked to Discord with big wondering eyes. “Are you actually wanting me along because you wanted my company? Like, because of Four? But why now?” Discord began to groan, turning away from the both of you. “Must I say? I was watching that war and saw how you got pummeled by that bug. And for some insane reason, I felt something. I won’t say what it is, but I felt… Something.” Discord turned around, holding some sort of bomb with a green gassy-like symbol. A stink bomb? “Alright, alright, I won’t be a jerk like you and rub it in. It’s just kinda cool you actually got worried about her. So, uh, what’s with the bomb? That a present for the brothers?” You asked, gazing at it. “Brothers? Oh, no no.” Discord said as he casually opened a warp hole into Starlight’s office. “This is a special present for Starlight, for all she’s vaguely done to make this possible.” He says as he casually tosses it through, a scream coming from the portal before it is silenced from Discord closing it. “Alright then, let us prepare. Anon, you’re my partner, and like I said, we’re playing it cool. So just do as I do and we’ll be inside their heads fairly soon.” “And all I gotta do is be annoying and stuff?” Scootaloo asked “Indeed, just like a real mediator. Now, since we are a team, and a trio, and other related words dealing with togetherness, let us bring paw and hooves together.” Discord said as he brought his hoof forward. Poor Starlight. Ah well, she’ll be fine. “Yeah, let’s do this, for old time’s sake.” You say, placing your hoof on his paw. “We’re really doing this! Yeah! And hey, Discord, look. If it helps, I really do appreciate you bringing me along. I know you’re not Four, but I know a part of him is in thDFDSFSD” Suddenly, Scootaloo’s mouth becomes zipped. Discord just rolls his eyes as he puts his talons over his temple, giving it a massage. “Can we just say ‘Go Team!’ and get on with it before I change my mind?” Scootaloo just groans, and puts her hoof over yours. “MGh MTheam” “That’s better.” Discord said, as he prepared to snap his talons to start the show.