Your Faithful Student, Buggy Brush
Side Story N°4: Proud
“Hey, pal!”
“dude”
“What are you up to? Is everything alright?”
“yeah. why the question?”
“Sunrise told me she has been trying to message you and she got no answer, I’ve also been trying to contact you since this morning and you didn’t reply.”
“oh, please forgive me! i’ve been busy today, doing lots of things, putting some shit in order, you know”
“You sound agitated, what are you doing?”
“just looking for my tiadamn jacket, but i can’t find it anywhere”
“Lol”
“don’t lol me!”
The lavender pegasus was flying all around her house talking with her friend Buggy Brush while trying to find her jacket. She has been looking for it for quite a while already with still no results. How can a simple jacket hide so well from her??
“uugh”
“Can’t find it?”
“no, i don’t know how the hell it disappeared. i’d swear i saw it not so long ago”
“How important is to find it right now anyways? It’s not even cold at all today.”
“it isn’t, but it’s a cool jacket”
“Ok, that’s a good point, it is a really good jacket.”
“tiadamn it”
“What if you take a little break from looking and sit down?”
She followed his advice and sat down over her bed. Defeated by a jacket, that was a new achievement for her for sure.
“So, how have you been doing? We haven’t talk that much lately.”
“fine, i guess”
“How’s the diet going?”
“it’s ok, i suppose. i’ve managed to stay strong to it these last days, even if it’s hard to get used to”
“I’m happy to hear that then!”
“yeah, thanks. how’s the whole assistant thing going for you?”
“Well I’ve entered to some dreams, helped some ponies already, Luna has been training me more in some aspects of dream magic and-“
“wow wow dude, you’re finally on first-name basis with her i see”
“'First-name' what now? What’s that?”
“you didn’t say Princess, before her name. you have been doing it even after she herself told you it was ok to just address her by name”
“I was shy about it, ok? I’ve been feeling a little more comfortable with that lately.”
“have you accidentally called her ‘mommy’ yet?”
“Oh shut up!”
“hehe lol”
“Don’t lol me!”
Buggy hmm’d.
“what?”
“I don’t know, but something about this situation is reminding me of something else.”
“for real?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ve read something like this before.”
“i have no idea what are you… oh… oh no”
“Wait, didn’t you write a fanfic about something like this, like, ages ago?”
She instantly blushed.
“fuck no. we are SO not talking about this”
“Why not? It was good!”
“it was not, it was shit”
“It wasn’t.”
“Brush, it was a cringy self-insert fanfic i wrote when i was younger… and depressed… like, slightly less depressed than now i suppose, but still depressed”
“What was it called again?”
“…”
“…”
“7-7”
“Zweet?”
“*sigh* ‘Your Loyal Pupil, Zweet Beatz’,” she replied begrudginly.
“That was the name! :D”
“i hate u”
“C’mon! It was good! I loved it.”
“it was bullshit!! literally the first and only time i ever tried to write something!”
“And you succeeded!”
“i didn’t, it sucked”
“Wait, now that I think about it, I guess I never asked Darky if she knows about it. I think she doesn’t.”
“great, bc i’m not telling her and you are not telling her either, especially not her”
“Why not her?”
“she’s literally a writer!!”
“So?”
“Brush, you’re not telling her about the shitty fanfic, and i’m over w this conversation”
“Dude…”
“and we’re never talking about this again, understood?”
“Uugh, fiiiine, Ms. Grumpypants.”
“shut up, you blubbering idiot”
“Girl, chill. I’m joking.”
She sighed once more.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would upset you.”
“no no, it’s fine. i am sorry, i think i overreacted. i’m just stressed rn, didn’t mean to say that”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
They remained in silence for a couple of seconds.
“So, I’m assuming you’re going to go see your mother today, aren’t you?”
“yeah, and i’m not exactly looking for it :c”
“I thought so.”
“hm”
“Zweet, why are you even going if it bothers you so much?”
“because if i don’t then i am the one seen as a bad daughter”
“And who cares? They don’t have the full picture. They didn’t grow up with you, nor with that bitch, for that matter. They have no right to judge you.”
“yet they still do”
She stopped talking to recollect her thoughts.
“besides, maybe this time for once it could be different. i’ve been making a lot of changes in my life since last time she and i spoke”
“Are you sure about it?”
“… i want to believe so”
“Do you want me to go with you? Just in case.”
“what?”
“You know, moral support.”
“no! i don’t want to make you uncomfortable”
“And I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Buggy, no. thank you, but no”
“Fine. You can message me if you need me for something though.”
“something like what?”
“I don’t know, something like a friend able to zap a laser beam up her ass.”
She laughed a little.
“What? I was serious. Darky has been training me with laser beams.”
“you know, that would actually be quite funny to see”
“Is that a yes then?”
“more like a maybe. i’ll be thinking about it”
“Alright then. I’ll be ready then.”
She looked at her clock.
“i better go already, before i find something else to keep delaying it”
“Take care, bud.”
“Say hi to Darky for me, please.”
“I will.”
Zweet Beatz walked nervously to the old house, still unsure of what she was doing.
“oh sis, you did well at moving ages ago. you don’t have to deal with this kind of shit”
Once in front of the door, she started regretting it. This house holds a lot of different memories, but most of them were not pleasant to her.
“the sooner, the better i guess”
She took a deep breath before nocking on the door, then waited for somepony to answer her calling. She closed her eyes meanwhile to calm herself a little, when the noise produced by the old, damaged door made her open them again to greet her mother.
“Hey mom,” she said as she tried to force a smile.
“Hi Autumn.”
Her smiled deflated in place.
“(not the best start, but could have been worse)”
Zweet entered, closing the door as gently as possible to avoid it falling down.
“So… How have you been doing?”
“Great. I’ve had a meeting with my old school friends last weekend to catch up.”
“Oh, was Eli there?”
“Of course she was! That mare wouldn’t miss a reunion for anything in Equestria.”
“How is she? I haven’t heard about her in months.”
“She’s fine. A little busy dealing with her business.”
“I suppose keeping her characteristic enthusiasm as always heh. I always admired that of her.”
“Me too.”
They kept chatting casually as they made their way to the kitchen where she was preparing lunch.
“Would you like to help me with this?”
“Sure! Just a second please, my phone just vibrated.”
Her mother grunted annoyed.
“Could you put your phone away? Have you come here to talk with me or with your friends?”
“I know, sorry, just let me check who is it, at least.”
It was Buggy Brush.
“dude everythng ok over there?”
She could reply later.
“Alright then, how can I help you? What are you preparing?”
She was making some noodles with a weird sauce Zweet never heard of before and some vegetables, all accompanied by some sodas to drink. It sure looked tasty, but she was trying to consume less of that kind of food the last few days, so she preferred to just consume the vegetables. She still decided to help with the food though, she was ok with that, so they finish preparing the meal together while continue chatting. Aside from one or two loose comments, Zweet Beatz could say the visit wasn’t going as bad as she expected, yet she still hadn’t tell her mom about the last changes in the her life.
After an hour and a half, they finished cooking. They grabbed 2 plates to serve. Her mother realized she was only putting some vegetables on hers and not even looking at the soda.
“What’s wrong? Are you rejecting momma’s food?”
“No, is just that I just wanted to eat something a little lighter.”
“Why?”
She took a short breath.
“I… decided to start a diet a couple of days ago.”
Her mother chuckled. She tried to ignore that.
“It was about time!”
She decided to also ignore that comment, or at least she tried to.
“I’m taking it serious this time. I feel like I’m making progress, and I think I will be able to maintain it that way.”
“Ok,” replied her mother, not even looking at her.
“’Ok’? Is that all you are going to say? Really?”
“What do you want me to say? Did you expect me to congratulate you or something?”
“Yes, I was actually. Or at least I was expecting you to be a little more enthusiastic about it.”
Her mother looked at her with an indifferent expression.
“You should have started it ages ago. There’s nothing for me to be ‘enthusiastic’ about.”
“Well, I’m starting it now.”
“Now that you realized how much you needed it.”
“Excuse me, what was that?”
“You’re overweight, Autumn, and you have never tried to do anything about it before.”
She looked at her plate again.
“And I doubt this time is going to be any different.”
Zweet Beatz felt hurt, but she tried to remain as polite as possible.
“I have tried to do something about it before. Do you think I like being this way? Acting against it is not as easy as you think it is.”
“It would be if you put a little bit of effort into it.”
“Why can’t you just be happy for me for once? I can’t tell you a thing about my life without you instantly criticizing me or ignoring me and changing the subject to whatever you want to talk about.”
She didn’t reply.
“You said I came here to talk with you, well I’m talking right now. That’s what I’m doing. Could you stop ignoring me and say something?”
Still no response at all. No words, no eye-contact, nothing. Zweet was tried to remain calm, but she finally realized that, no matter what she does, it was never going to be enough for her mother, SHE was never going to be enough for her mother. She stood up and started walking to the door.
“Going home so early? Why did you even come here if you can’t take even a little bit of criticism?”
“I’m done with you. I’m tired and I can’t keep going with this.”
“You’re always tired of me, I’m not surprised.”
She ignored her.
“If only you were more like your sister.”
“(that’s it. i’ve had enough of her bullshit)”
“Is because of ponies like you that I’m never able to change.”
“Oh, are we playing the blaming game now, little girl?”
“Is because of YOU that I was never able to change!”
“I don’t remember ever forcing you to eat. Do you see my hoof forcing the food into your mouth? Stop blaming me for your mistakes.”
“Every single time I have tried to make a change in my life, all you do is belittling me and demoralizing me with your attitude or your sarcastic comments. You have never told me once anything nice. You have never showed me once that you’re proud of me!”
“HA! What should I be proud of? An overweight unemployed drummer who still depends on daddy’s money to live?”
“I’m not unemployed, first of all, being a drummer is my job-“
“If you call that a ‘job’.”
Zweet closed her eyes and sighed.
“And second of all, I have been living on my own since a year ago.”
“Wow! Congratulations for finally starting to be an adult!” She answered sarcastically.
At this point it was a little hard for Zweet Beatz to speak since she was barely holding back the tears for both sadness and anger.
“Do you need me to tell you that I’m ‘proud’ to start actually doing something useful with your life?”
“I needed your support, as any good mother is supposed to support her children.”
“So I’m a bad mother now, huh?”
“I never s-“
“Do you really need other ponies approval to do something that is good for your own life? Are you really this stupidly useless that you are not able to do a single thing on your own?”
And that was the last straw.
“YES, believe it or not, I DO!! I don’t think you have realized yet, but I have dealing with depression for FUCKING YEARS, and somedays I CAN’T give less of a fuck about myself!! I NEED other ponies to believe in me to actually feel like what I am doing matters, and all YOU have done since I was little was making me feel like the most worthless SHIT in the world!”
Zweet couldn’t hold her tears anymore.
“As always everything is my fault. Now it’s because of me that you never had motivation for starting a simple diet.”
“I’m not talking of the tiadamn diet; I’m talking of everything.”
“Would you be a dear and make me a list, please? To know in how many ways I have ruined your life?”
“Fuck. Off.”
She had enough, she was leaving.
“Listen, young lady, you won’t come to my house and speak to me like that!”
“Fuck you. I hate you and I hope I never have to see your stupid face again in the rest of my life!”
“AUTUM-“
She slammed the door and ran away. She was completely serious with what she said. She didn’t care anymore what other ponies might say, she wasn’t going back to that house ever again.
It was really late and the sun was setting, making everything in Canterlot look dark. She ran as far as she could from the house to never see it again when she suddenly crashed against somepony.
“OUCH!”
Both fell to the floor.
“Ouch, my head.” -She looked down- “Gosh, are you ok?”
Zweet Beatz couldn’t answer. The other pony stood up.
“Let me help y- Wait, Zweet Beatz?”
She turned her head to face the pony. It was her friend Sunrise.
“Zweet Beatz! I’ve been worried for you all day! Where were you going at that speed?”
“sorry, i… i was…”
It was difficult for her to speak still chocking on her tears. There was no need to as Sunrise realized that.
“Zweet, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“i’m fine, don’t worry”
“You’re not. Your eyes are completely red of so much crying! What happened?”
She looked at the ground.
“Something wrong happened at your mom’s house?”
She nodded in silence.
“What was it? Do you want to talk about it?”
“n- not now, please. i’m too tired”
“It’s fine, you don’t need to.”
“thanks”
“Let’s go, it’s getting late and you need to rest.”
“thank you, Sunrise”
"And don’t you think I’m leaving you alone tonight.”
“i don’t want to take part of your time like that, Goldhearts. you don’t have to do this for me”
“But I want to. I can’t just see you like this and leave you like if everything was ok.”
Zweet’s stomach growled.
“Oh geez. You haven’t eaten anything today, have you?”
“just some cereal this morning”
“C’mon, I’ll prepare you something there.”
“Sunrise-“
“I won’t take a no for an answer Zweet Beatz.”
“…”
“You were planning in going to bed with an empty stomach, I know you, and I’m not allowing that.”
“fine”
In that moment, Zweet remembered Sunrise was messaging her that morning. She never read a single one of the messages.
“btw, what did you want to tell me before?”
“What? Are you referring about the messages I sent you?”
“yeah, sorry. i forgot to check them”
“I just wanted to tell you that you left your jacket in my house last time we hang out.”
“(you gotta be kidding me)”
“And also that Buggy told me yesterday that you were going on a diet and making some progress with it. I didn’t have the chance to tell you before but I’m happy for you, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.”
Upon hearing those words, Zweet Beatz broke down into tears again, but this time for a different reason.
“Zweet?”
“thank you”
She hugged her friend catching her by surprise.
“thank you so so much”
Sunrise smiled and returned the hug. A nice, warm, cozy hug.
“No need to mention it, sweetheart.”
“Let’s go now. Maybe we can play a little there, or maybe watch a movie.”
“that would be fine for me”
“^u^”