//------------------------------// // Chapter 20: One, Two, Skip a Few // Story: Rag Doll // by No one is home //------------------------------// -=- Author’s note:  You’ll wanna make sure you’re caught up on the crossover chapters of Return to Equestria, or this is gonna be really confusing. -=- “This isn’t fun anymore, Uncle Cornelius.”  The trust in her voice is what breaks my heart. “You can go home, Ocellia.”  I feel like a monster.  I am a monster.  “Just step off of the path. I can still send you home.” “No!” Her denial breaks me even further.  “ I am going to see the sky!” Her resolve holds for a while.  We have to be getting close.  These aren’t caves or underground ruins, their regular storm drains. “We’ve been lost for days, Uncle!  Do you even know which way home is anymore?”  It hurts because she’s right.  How long has it been?  “Should I turn my phone back on yet?” “I know which way we have to go.”  I give the only reassurance I have.  “Up and forward,  Always up and forward.” -=-=-=-=-=- The water has a face when it pulls me under.  I can’t tell whose face.  My father?  Stepfather?  Grandfather?  Some random preacher-man?  How do you remember the face that held you underwater?  The face of the betrayal that is baptism… Her screams cross from worry to fear as she’s pulled under the oozing, mouthy, purple mass. -=-=-=-=- “Uncle… what just happened?”  The little ladybug pony asked in confusion. “I changed the tense.”  Ragdoll explained.  “It gave me a chance to pull out a solution off camera.  How did we navigate the Pega-possum nesting grounds?” Ocellia opened her mouth, then closed it before the doll went on.  “Don’t think about it too hard, you will get headaches.  That is just a thing.” “It was never going to be easy, Ocelia.” The Ragdoll chided.  “This was always going to be the path.  But it’s less hard if you only remember parts of things.  Please just trust me that I’m looking out for you here.  We did things.  That is how we got here.  What happens in between… you’re not ready for that, yet.” “Then you could just skip ahead to when we get to the surface?”  The little underling asked hopefully. “Maybe if I had Gloomy to regulate the story pacing, but even then, that would be risky.” The doll shook his head.  “Shifting that far without having any control over the intervening scenes… we’d have no idea what we set off in the missing scenes.  We already have no idea what’s going on upstairs on  the surface with Gloomy right now.” “Uncle Cornelius…” The underling princess sounded unsure.  “Are you using me to get back to the surface.” “OC… Sweetie… Honey…” The doll took the most soothing tones.  “Of course I am.” OC’s breath caught in a sudden hitch.  “Don’t be like that.  I am your guide and you are my mobility.  You used me from the moment you realized what I was.  But that doesn’t mean nothing is real.  We’re going to make it to the surface, OC.  Keep checking your phone.  When we get close enough to street level…” “I’ve got a signal!” Ocelia cheered. “I gotta check my feeds!” “I told you OC,” Ragdoll grinned through his impassive smile, “We just gotta stay on the path.” “Oh no!  You’re mare friend has been foal-napped by a strange creature!”  Ocelia held her phone up to show the news feed.  “It says her Aunt Untitled Duet is trying to find her.” “That bastard.” The doll quivered in angry anticipation.  “I need you to dial a number for me.” “O-okay,” the little underling princess replied nervously. Ragdoll’s voice sneered.  “Also, everything I just said about how I can’t just time skip us to the surface… I was lying…  I just can’t do that in this story…” -=-=-=-=-=- School of Friendship Official Educational Suppliment “So You’ve Broken The Fourth Wall” “Hello class!” A bombastic Pinkie Pie waved at the camera smiling a little too wide.  “I’m Professor Pinkie Pie, and I already know who YOU are!” “So maybe you, or perhaps a friend, or maybe you say it’s a ‘friend’, but it’s really you… I won’t judge…”  Pinkie pulled out a large black-board from her mane covered in completely confusing equations, diagrams, and happy picture of ponies frolicking with pretty flowers.  “But the important thing is you, or they, or maybe ‘they’ meaning ‘you’ (totally not judging) have noticed all those funny looking creatures reading this story.” “Don’t be afraid to reach out say ‘hi’ to friends in another plane of existence, hello readers!” Pinkie looked directly into the camera, then continued to address the PSA audience.  “But don’t think that’s all the zany, fun things you can do, either!  If you pay close attention, you might notice the wall between us and our existential buddies is actually a wall of… wait for it… Text!” “I’ll give you a minute to just sit back, take a big ol’ toke, an just let that sink in.”  The pink menace pulled out an elaborate pink hooka and the screen flashed to a please standby image with a giant cannabis leaf. After you have indulged in enough “magical herb” to be okay with this nonsense, Pinky returned, herself with bloodshot eyes. “Yeah, because this entire universe is just one big ‘ol story, right?”  Pinkie giggles and somehow sways as she pronks in pace.  “Riiggghhhhttttt??????  Wow, Tree Hugger really brought her A-game this time… but seriously, right?” “Wrong!” The Unspeakable Pinkie Pie jumped forward and hugged the camera while giving it a big ol’ stink eye.  Pinkie back up in an excessively casual manner and continues while staring of at nothing in particular.  “This universe is actually several stories.  And there are alternate ‘dream’ universes, and some of them also have their own stories…” Pinkie plopped down on her pink plot.  She spoke with a dreamy voice, “I bet you’re wondering what all this has to do with big ‘ol text wall, aren’t ya?  Well I’m gonna tell you because it is super important.” Pinkie was suddenly super serious, while wearing Groucho Marx fake glasses.  “For you see, there is more than one wall and there is more than one text.  Hi, Amanda!  Sorry to hold up the chapter but I really wanted to do a PSA in G5!”  Pinkie waved into the camera. “And if you’re just waving to your existential friends, hiya Booster Spice,” Pinie giggled vacantly, “It doesn’t matter much.  But once you see the wall of text, and it sees you, you can do so much more…” “The especially bold can reach out and manipulate the words.” Pinkie twirled her sinister fake mustache.  “Seize the narrative.  Jink, seize the narration.  You can skip troublesome transition scenes, accomplish things off camera, a really clever creature could even walk between the walls, moving from one story to another!” -=-=-=-=-=- “Okay, Undersqueaks, I know I’ve been keeping in the dark for a couple of days.”  The lady-bug pony-ponyplushy smiled at her own camera.  “Newest of new news!  I am on the surface!  Just look at all that sky!  It is the literal sky! Like if you just started falling up you’d just fall into it!” “You can’t keep doing that!  Jet was being very reasonable!” The gray filly argued very reasonably. “I’m staying with my Aunt Gloomy and Uncle Conelius.”  The filly smiled as a crash was heard in the background. “That was not my fault!  I move by flailing about!” The doll yelled. “It is exactly how it sounds…” The filly responded to the disruption. “You threatened our boss in the middle of a business meeting!  Again!” Gloomy railed in a squeaky little filly voice. “Yeah, it turns out the cursed magical doll has a mean streak…” Ocelia shrugged.  “I should prolly give context, but I’m not sure why Charlie threatened Mr. Jet, either.  He seemed nice enough to me.” “Dammitall, Gloomy, what's the big deal?” The camera turned to focus on Ragdoll. “I threaten ponies all the time!” “Meh,” Ocelia narrated, “I might as well let you all just watch them since there’s no way I’m gonna be able to finish until they calm down.” “That IS the problem!” The camera pulled back to reveal a small grey unicorn filly glaring murder at the flailing rag doll. “We can’t just go around threatening to jinx ponies just to get our way.” “Uh…” The doll cocked its head in confusion.  “Gloomy, that’s like ninety percent of our modus operandi… kinda always has been…” “And they’ve been going at it like this ever since we left the Pegasoft building.” Ocelia turned the camera back towards herself.  “I don’t think they’re really mad.  I think their trying to just not talk about Aunt Gloomy being turned into a filly and that weird pony that tried to foal nap her earlier… It’s been a busy day…” “And since we're having this talk, what are we going to do about that creature who tried to foal nap me?” The fun sized unicorn demanded.  “Why did you and that thing act like you knew each other?” “Because we do… sort of?”  Ragdoll rubbed the back of his head.  “That was an fragment of the Nopony.  I’m not sure which aspect that was, usually I’d say it was a Noone… but a few things were off…” “What’s a ‘Nopony’?”  Gloomy cocked her head to one side. “Uh… heh, heh… well that’s it this pipcast, under squeaks…” Ocelia shuffled nervously, addressing the adults in the room as she killed the video feed. “Uh, guys… we probably really need to talk…”