//------------------------------//
// On The Rocks 
// Story: Beanery 
// by TCC56 
//------------------------------//

"Sister."

For a long moment, Celestia didn't react. The sight before her - the mesmerising, swirling eddies of color and sound and null-time - was captivating. Beautiful beyond measure. Something so wondrous that even an immortal alicorn had to pause and bask in the glory of truly unique art.

"Sister," came the more insistent prod.

Celestia didn't look away from the sky, but she did answer. "Yes, Luna?"

"Was that really necessary?"

There was no hesitation on Celestia's part. "I did what had to be done."

Beside her and similarly entranced by the chaotic beauty of the sky, Luna pursed her lips tightly as she searched for the right way to phrase it. "You…" She paused again. "You yeeted Discord into space hard enough to punch a hole through spacetime."

"He had it coming," Celestia blandly observed.

It was obvious that Luna didn't believe that. "I know that this may seem unimportant as your usual solution to having broken something is to have Twilight fix it for you, but I believe that 'the entire universe' is a bit beyond her current capabilities."

Much to Luna's frustration, Celestia shrugged.

Which made Luna frown deeper. "You are being remarkably blaise about this. Particularly as it may mean the end of all things."

"Call it a moment of clarity." Celestia tilted her head slightly as she looked into the kaleidoscope void. "I've wanted to hurl Discord off of something for centuries. I only restrained myself for so long because he was stone and I would have felt bad about shattering him."

Luna raised an eyebrow. "And more recently?"

"Fluttershy was doing a good job," came the clarification with another shrug.

"Also you made him Twilight's problem," Luna noted.

In Celestia's defense, she only hesitated a moment at that. "And because I made him Twilight's problem," she confirmed.

Shaking her head, Luna turned away from the sky's spectacle. Instead, she cast her gaze to the somewhat distant Twilight Sparkle who was - at current - hyperventilating into a paper bag, surrounded by her friends on the other side of the garden. "You really must be a bit better about doing that, sister. One of these days it's going to get you into trouble. Or possibly kill her."

"Twilight's resilient."

Instinctively, Luna scoffed. "She's not immortal."

Celestia - still staring at the sky - raised an eyebrow.

Luna pouted with a petulant moue. "'Tis an expression and you know what I meant."

They both lapsed into silence for a long minute, watching the sky riot and war against itself, creating colors and images no living creature had ever seen before. But the issue was unresolved, so they had to resume the conversation eventually. It was Celestia who did so. "I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, I probably should not have done that. It's just that Discord can be so… so…" She sucked in a sharp breath through clenched teeth. "So infuriating, even when he's on his best behavior. Driving ponies up the wall is simply his nature, I understand that, but--"

"But simply because it is a scorpion's nature to sting does not mean one should tolerate it striking you," Luna completed. "I entirely understand. And there is likely no pony who has met him - dear Fluttershy included - who has not had the urge to at least throttle him a little. But this was too far."

A tiny giggle escaped Celestia's lips. "Yes, it was rather a far distance, wasn't it?"

Luna glowered at her sister, unamused.

Both went quiet for a few more moments.

They both looked skywards again, watching as several stars flickered and fell into the hole Discord had left in space. Celestia pouted. "Aw. Those were part of the constellation Aquila. I thought you did quite good work with that one." She shook her head. "Yes, perhaps I reacted a bit rashly. But what's done is done now. I can't un-throw him, and I'm fairly sure that hole is growing."

"None of the words you have just spoken sound to be a solution to this issue. Or even an apology for having caused it," Luna pointed out.

Celestia's indignant snort reeked of disdain. "And why should I apologize? Discord deserved it."

Reflexively, Luna returned fire. "And your ego deserved it when Nightmare Moon threw you through our castle wall."

The blow struck hard, jabbing in under Celestia's rib. She winced, looking away shame-faced. "I… I suppose that an apology is likely due to all the others that will be affected by this. But not Discord," she quickly added.

Luna rolled her eyes.

"Princess Celestia! Princess Luna!" Twilight came scrambling to their side, eyes wide and breaths heaving. "Don't worry! We've got a solution!"

Serenely, Celestia smiled. "As I knew you would, my student."

Despite her panic, Twilight still managed to squee a little. "We're going to use Starswirl's time travel spell. Fluttershy's never gone back in time before, so we can have her give a warning and prevent this from happening. She just needs to know what Discord did to make you do that so she can tell him not to."

Princess Celestia's smile wavered slightly. "Yes. Of course, that makes sense."

Then she didn't answer. Seconds ticked by awkwardly as Twilight waited and Celestia failed to respond.

Luna cleared her throat. Loudly.

Unwilling to give so easily, Celestia looked at the sky. And her hooves. And a particularly interesting push off to the left.

Luna cleared her throat again.

Finally, with a sigh, Celestia gave in. "Discord… propositioned me."

Twilight shuddered. "He what?"

"Propositioned me," Celestia repeated. "I was less insulted for myself and more incised that he would do that to poor Fluttershy! I didn't want to say because, well, she doesn't deserve to be hurt like that, the poor thing."

The bookish princess' face tightened and twisted into a disgusted scowl. "That… pervert! Now I'm glad you threw him! He deserved it after suggesting you--" Twilight paused, waiting for Celestia to fill in whatever filth Discord had dared to speak.

"Asking if I wanted a long, hard screw," Celestia completed with disgust.

The other two princesses stopped dead.

Very, very slowly, Luna closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Sister. What else did he say when he propositioned you."

Still furious, Celestia was more than happy to relate the rest. "He even suggested we run off to the beach to do it!"

"Sex on the beach," Luna repeated.

"Yes!"

With the patience of a saint, Luna reached over and put a hoof on her sister's shoulder. "Those are the names of drinks, dear sister. Discord was trying to be the bartender. The first one is a variant on the screwdriver - orange juice and vodka."

Princess Celestia's white coat managed to pale. She looked skywards to the collapsing universe and the hole that was slowly devouring all of existence. "...oh."