//------------------------------// // 1. Are You Talking To Me? // Story: The Dangers of Waking a Tired Alicorn // by Coronet the lesser //------------------------------// Spike yawned as he lounged lackadaisically on Twilight’s throne. He casually flipped through the latest issue of Power Ponies, barely interested in whatever was on the page. Of course, technically, he shouldn’t have been reading comics when on court business. Generally, Spike would take his position as Royal Advisor very seriously in Twilight’s absence. But today, Canterlot Castle was utterly serene. An incredibly odd thing to note, as the nerve centre of the Equestrian government usually constituted an unending hive of activity. No noisy courtiers or hard-pressed aides could be found darting back and forth delivering government business. Instead, it was deathly quiet. Not that he minded too much, hence the casual comic reading. Spike shrugged to himself. It was just going to be one of those days. That was what he initially thought, at least. He found himself rudely disturbed by the doors to the throne room being thrown up with a thunderous ‘thud’. Spike’s comic book flew into the air as he attempted to regain some royal composure. In sprinted the familiar faces of his Ponyville friends speeding towards the throne, vivid concern etched upon their faces. Spike gulped; this could only be bad. Starlight was the first to approach him, a panicked expression on her face. “Spike!” Starlight cried. “Somehow, Grogar has returned!” All of her friends nodded solemnly. Spike’s eyes went wide, and he started to shake physically. “What?” exclaimed Spike, standing up from his seat on the smaller throne. “How is even possible? Grogar was banished to the void by Gusty the Great.” “Dark magics, evil essence transfer rituals,” Sunburst pipped in from behind Starlight, currently flicking throughout some old-looking tome. “Secrets only a dark lord would be aware of.” Spike cocked an eyebrow. “We are being that vague about this, huh?” “Spike!” snapped Starlight. “This isn’t the time.” “It just had to be a vile necromancer, didn’t it? Can’t we ever fight a villain that is hygienic?” Rarity whined. “Spike, where is Twilight?” Applejack asked, motioning with her hoof towards the throne. “We need the Elements right now.” They all had gathered around Spike expectantly, awaiting his explanation for Twilight’s absence. He fiddled with his claws and shuffled a sole foot back and forth. He clicked his tongue as if trying to find the proper way to phrase his response. Several of the group began to throw questioning looks in his direction as his silence continued. “Ummm,” he started. “S-she’s not available at the moment.” A stunned silence followed Spike’s statement as several oh friends gawked at him. Applejack, in particular, looked particularly unimpressed. “Not available?” she questioned. Rainbow snorted angrily, pushing her way past everyone else until she stood directly in front of Spike. “Spike cut the bull. Where’s Twilight?” Rainbow demanded. Spike glanced nervously between the looming Rainbow and everypony else. He laughed to himself and felt sweat dripping down his face. “S-she’s…asleep,” he answered quietly. “What?” Rainbow tilted her head to the side in confusion. “Spike, enough jokes. Where is Twilight? For real this time?” Starlight said insistently. “I told you she is asleep,” Spike repeated, this time with more emphasis. “Oh, I’ll go wake her up!” Pinkie declared happily as she hopped away. Spike launched himself toward her grabbing her tail and holding her in place. “No, Pinkie, don’t!” he urged. “You can’t wake Twilight up!” “Spike, darling. While we all appreciate your concern for Twilight’s sleep schedule,” soothed Rarity, gently patting Spike’s back before grabbing him roughly with her magic, bringing him close to her face. “I don’t know if you are aware, but the actual Grogar is on his way, and it would be quite necessary for Twilight’s presence!” “I would feel terrible waking Twilight up, but umm, it does seem pretty serious,” Fluttershy interjected. Spike wriggled himself out of Rarity’s magical grip, falling with a thud to the floor. “Look, girls, I get it,” Spike said as he dusted himself off the floor and looked pleadingly at the group. “But it would be a terrible idea to get Twilight up. Trust me on this.” Spike turned to Starlight. “Can’t the Pillars or the students from the school do it? I mean, just for once, why are we always the ones cleaning up the villains? It feels like we deal with whatever pops out of history’s trashcan every weekend.” “The Pillars are spread across all of Equestria,” Starlight answered, most unimpressed. “It will take days for them to arrive, and besides, this isn’t the time to delegate to a bunch of high school students. This is the Dark Lord, Spike. Just get Twilight up.” “I-I can’t,” Spike murmured; his eyes immediately fell towards the floor, away from the disapproving gazes of his friends. “Can’t or won’t,” Rainbow snapped. “Can it be both?” he asked sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. The thunderous bang of the doors swinging open again gave Spike a brief respite. In entered the former Princesses of Equestria, Celestia and Luna in their full majesty, golden light haloing their entrance and grim determination on their faces. But their appearance did little to calm Spike’s growing anxiety. If the former princesses were present, then this Grogar was pretty serious business. “We came as soon as we could,” Luna said breathlessly. “Is there word on Grogar’s location?” Celestia asked, not even bothering with the usual pleasantries. It indicated how serious she was taking the Ram King’s return. “No. But we know he’s headed this way,” Starlight said as she turned to them. “Rumour has it he wants to challenge Twilight directly. That can only mean that he’s coming to Canterlot.” Celestia shared a grimace with Luna, who nodded sternly. Their resolve was steeled; they knew what was coming. “Then we will need the Elements ready,” Celestia said commandingly. Celestia’s iron stare scanned the mares before her, who all returned it with a committed nod. Celestia faltered, though, when she noticed that somepony was absent. She scanned the room back and forth. “Where is Twilight?” “She’s asleep apparently,” Applejack scoffed. Luna blinked several times. Celestia cocked her head to the side. An awkward silence followed for several moments. “What?” Celestia pushed forward to be in front of Spike. “Spike, now is not the time for a sleep-in. We require Twilight immediately.” Spike looked practically pale before the solar monarch. He twiddled his claws nervously several times. “I know!” he cried frustratingly. “Look, I get it.” He extended the flat of his palms out to the assembled crowd. “But this is Twilight’s first day off in six months. She’s been working non-stop for days on end after the latest diplomatic summit.” Spike sighed as he attempted to calm himself down. “She made it crystal clear she’s not to be disturbed.” Spike crossed his arms and huffed. “It’s a royal order.” “Is this form of a modern joke I am not aware of? It’s not particularly funny,” Luna stated. Celestia gawked at Spike in dismay. “Spike, the fate of the world is at stake!” “Have you seen Twilight when her nap is interrupted?” Spike countered. “While I’m sure Twilight Sparkle is not the best character when awoken from her slumber, this is hardly the time to ponder upon her general state,” Luna snorted. “Grogar means to destroy life upon this earth itself!” “No girl’s this is different,” Spike declared. “Look, I don’t want to wake Twilight unless at the greatest need.” “Seriously?” Rainbow shouted. “And this isn’t that?” Spike shook his head. “Spike!” Starlight snapped. The group descended in a flurry of shouts as each pony jostled to be heard. All the while, Spike stood in the centre, desperately pleading his case before the irritated group. Not that they had much time to argue further when the doors to the throne room exploded in a storm of splinters. Celestia threw up a golden shield encompassing the group to deflect the projectiles. A great shadow loomed over the throne room when the dust settled from the sudden intrusion. He was greater than Celestia by at least a foot. His curved horns sat like a wicked crown upon his narrow face. His red and gold eyes gleamed dangerously in the dim before a cruel, twisted smile danced upon his lips. “Good evening, little ponies,” he hissed; the low baritone of his voice echoed throughout the room. The tiles beneath the floor shattered beneath his mammoth hoof. “I, Grogar the Unholy, have returned!” he roared. The crack of thunder sounded outside. “Grogar!” Celestia shouted. “You shall not pass.” The darkness retreated as gleaming yellow light radiated from the former solar monarch. Soon Celestia’s light was joined by a paler light, less lustrous than her sisters but equally hardy. The Elements were quick to form up behind the former princess, their faces determined in the face of the great threat before them. Yet, even though they knew they were without Twilight, none of them wavered in the face of danger. Grogar let forth a dreadful laugh. He let his gaze linger across his opponents one by one. His smile grew wider with each passing moment. “Fools! Do you really believe that this motley band of insects can stand before me?” Another laugh rang out through the halls. Grogar gathered the shadows around himself, forming a mass of dreadful appendages. “Let your defiant words be as meaningless as your deaths.” Far above the action of the throne room, Grogar’s words shook the foundation of the castle. Stone chips fell from the ceiling as ponies rushed about in a panic-stricken state. In the tallest tower of the castle lay the royal apartments. Within the spacious room, the curtains were drawn to prevent any intrusive light from entering. At the centre lay a large bed that could fit several ponies, layers of blankets piled high over a resting figure. The room was cool and, most importantly, utterly silent except for the occasional snore of the pony that occupied the bed. A place where the noise, chaos and stress of everyday life lay far, far away. It was Perfection. That was until the roof shook, destroying the peaceful environment. The figure in the bed rolled furtively in their sleep, trying desperately to ignore the noise. Then, the roof practically jumped when another vibration wave rocked the castle. The crack of magical energy reverbed as loud as any multitude of fireworks. The figure under the covers groaned as she grabbed a nearby pillow and placed it over her ears. Then, desperate to push out the intrusion into their little slice of nirvana. Another booming laugh shook the room, taking small pieces of the ceiling crashing against the room’s floor. The cushions could not smother the sound. The pony groaned and tossed and turned furiously. When the castle shuddered especially violently, there could be no more ignoring the matter. The resting figure’s bloodshot eyes shot open. Celestia recoiled as the weight of Grogar’s shadow tendril slammed against her shield. Luna’s horn let forth an arching wave of magical energy in response. The tendril dissipated only for it to be instantly reformed. “Starlight, take the remaining elements and get Twilight,” Celestia said through gritted teeth. “We will hold him as long as we can.” “We ain’t leaving!” Applejack declared. “No way!” Rainbow added. The rest of the group nodded in collective determination, unwilling to leave the two princesses to fight the dark lord alone. “Friends, this foe is beyond you! It is best to fight another day!” Luna bellowed as she let forth a wave of crystal bolts. Grogar casually smashed them away; several tendrils launched towards Luna. Celestia intercepted them, a great burst from her horn dispersing them briefly. Grogar snorted in amusement. “Delay me! Listen to your worthless prattle. Do you not see death when it approaches?” He triumphantly grinned, ready to renew his attack once more, but his attack died just before he unleashed it. Grogar had stopped the build-up to the spell and sniffed the air. “Something wicked comes this way.” The back doors to the throne room swung open. Everypony turned to the noise, and the new entrant, Grogar, squinted in that direction. Within the shadow of the door stood a slackened but recognisable figure. It was Twilight. But not as everypony knew her. Twilight looked terrible. Her coat was matted and clearly unbrushed. Her hair was a tangled, unkempt mess, not brushed from whatever bed she had emerged from. Most noticeably, her eyes; were wide open and bloodshot, and rings of dark circles sat beneath her eyes. Had it not been clear that she had just been sleeping, she may have looked frightening. But, instead, she ponderously moved into the throne room, barely taking notice of the great battle before her. She didn’t even throw a wayward glance at her assembled friends. “Spike,” drawled Twilight as she approached a thoroughly abashed Spike. He wasn’t sure but had she gotten taller? She practically looked over him. “What’s going on? I thought I told you to keep it down.” Grogar snarled angrily as he spoke. “Princess, I demand-” “Quiet,” Twilight interrupted him quite evenly. “I was not speaking to you.” She kept her unsteady gaze on Spike. She casually rubbed her eyes with a hoof. “Spike.” “Well, Twi, I tried to tell them, but they wouldn’t listen,” he mumbled. “I really did. Don’t be mad.” Twilight sighed deeply. “Me? Mad? No.” Twilight yawned again. “Annoyed would be more accurate. What did I tell you about parties in the throne room?” Before Spike could answer, Grogar slammed his hoof down against the floor, cracking several tiles. “Princess Twilight!” he roared. “Behold, your ruin has arrived. I will subjugate you to horrors you and your friends can only imagine! Only when your mind is at its greatest breaking point. When your despair reaches its crescendo, I will only gift you the sweet release of the end.” Grogar smiled devilishly, practically leering in Twilight’s direction. The small mare had finally turned to face the great ram; a large frown adorned her features. “Are you quite finished?” Twilight asked with a snort. Grogar’s mouth hung open in bewilderment. “What?” he boomed, shaking the very walls. “Do you have to shout?” Twilight grumbled angrily, practically a snarl. “Every. Single. Word.” She caressed the top of her head with a free hoof. “Do you have no consideration for others? Or are you just that stupid?” Dead silence followed. Her friends stood still in shock. Had Twilight just lost her mind? No one knew what they should do; a few glanced at the terrifying dark lord, who seemed to shake in visible anger at being reprimanded by a pony of all creatures! Grogar drew himself up; the shadows coalesced around him until the very sun itself dimmed. His words were like the rumble of a volcano, and the aura of his fury warped the exact space he occupied. “You dare speak to me like that. Do you know who I am? I am the widow’s wail, the black death, the blood-soaked tyrant!” “I know who you are,” Twilight huffed, then quickly yawned again. She slowly drew herself towards him. “I just don’t care. I get one day off every six months.” She furiously jabbed her hoof against his leg. “And today is that day.” She stabbed her hoof more insistently this time. “So, I will ask you once to leave right now.” Twilight fixed Grogar with an utterly deadpan stare as if she were a parent staring at a disapproving foal. “Or are we going to have a problem?” She then cracked her head to the side and repeated the action on the other side; her eyes never left Grogar. “You fool!” Grogar roared. “Do you not perceive your own end? I am the end. I am the gathering darkness. The shadow of the abyss born from the darkness of the void, and now I have come for-ughh.” Before Grogar could speak any further, he was lifted into the air and promptly dropped against the floor, roughly creating a small crater. Then, before he could gain his bearings, he was slammed to the floor again. And again. And again. The group’s initial shock at Twilight’s action gave way to uncomfortable silence as she physically dominated the most powerful dark being in history. All the while, Twilight sported an expression that was a mix of exhaustion and indifference. Then as he was lifted into the air a final time and before he could say anymore, he was gone. The only indication of where the dark lord had gone was an ominous hole in the roof of the throne room, the crumbled stone falling to the floor where he had just stood. Twilight’s friends stared open-mouthed at the ceiling, though Luna could not take her eyes off the ram-shaped impression on the stone floor. “W-where did he go?” Starlight whispered. “Away,” Twilight answered, turning around to the throne. “But where?” Rarity queried with a breathless gasp. “To someplace he won’t be noisy,” Twilight retorted tersely as she climbed the steps to take her place upon its comfortable surface. “Will he be back?” Applejack asked, awe still in her voice. “Maybe, I don’t think so,” Twilight yawned. “Atmosphere is quite high. Hmmm, not sure if he can fly, don’t care.” Twilight yawned thrice before she curled up into a ball. “Spike be good now, no more friends over, ‘kay?” she slurred. “I’m just gonna rest my eyes for a moment.” Then, after a few more moments, the soft noise of her snores echoed throughout the thoroughly ruined throne room as more plaster fell against the floor. Twilight smiled as sleep claimed her. The castle’s blissful silence had returned, with it her much-needed rest. “I did try to warn you,” Spike sighed, surveying the mess. “What the buck just happened?” Rainbow Dash cried.