//------------------------------// // B side; track 1 // Story: Making magic in the moonlight // by The Krawler //------------------------------// Shining Armor cast his bored gaze around the office at the castle. Its every surface was tinged orange by the rays of the afternoon sun, but the lustrous glow of sunlight on flawless white marble had long ago gone dull and sterile to his eyes. The room had recently been emptied of all of its occupants save three: his newly wedded wife, a yellow pegasus acquaintance of his sister’s, and Shining Armor himself. Although he had finished much earlier in the day, he had elected to stay behind with Cadance to help her where he could in filling out the eroding stack of paper that sat in front of her. “You know, dear, I can handle a bit of paperwork on my own. It’s not like it’s going to transform into a rampaging stationary monster and gobble me up if you’re not here.” Cadance rolled her tired eyes for humorous effect. “The worst that’ll probably happen is that I get a paper cut.” “I know you can take care of yourself, honey. It’s just…” Shining Armor stood and began to pace around the room, his face tense with contemplation. “It’s just that, if something does happen, I want to be there for you. Just in case.” Shining gazed out of a nearby window at the garden below, avoiding the judgmental look from his bride that he expected her to be wearing. “Shining,” she said to the back of his head, “I didn’t marry you because I wanted you to protect me like some helpless damsel. I married you, because I love you. If any other completely crazy, out-of-this-world stuff happens in the future, whether it be to you or to me, we can handle it together. Isn’t that what our relationship is about?” Cadance’s quill, glowing in a magical grip that had been dimmed by the long hours of drudgery in which it had served, floated back to the desk in front of her as she stood to face her husband. “Besides, we can both rely on Twilight and her friends around to help us if we can’t figure something out on our own. Isn’t that right, Fluttershy?” Startled by her sudden inclusion in a social encounter, the yellow pegasus let out a small “eep” from her desk which sat beside the window that Shining was staring out of. The mind-numbing fog of the clerical work that had held her full attention evaporated. Her heavy eyes darted from side to side as she tried to determine what the expected response to Cadance’s question was. Without recognizing Fluttershy’s plight, Shining Armor came to her rescue. “I suppose that’s true. Hey, speaking of Twilight, how’s my li’l sis doing these days? Aside from our wedding, she hasn’t visited mom and dad or me since she left. Does she still spend her every waking minute with her nose in a book?” Shining Armor directed the question at Fluttershy. A grin played at the corner of his mouth as he recalled his little sister as a foal walking headlong into an ottoman, because her vision had been obscured behind an open copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. “Well, um... no. That is, not really. She has us, her friends, now. Oh, and recently she has been helping me to take care of Mr. Bear. He’s a bear, you know, so it’s kind of hard for him to find the right food for his diet while he can’t walk. He got hurt, you see, and some of the things that he eats just can’t be found in Ponyville. And- oh, no. I’m sorry for going on about my own troubles when all you wanted to know about was your sister- Oh…” Fluttershy slid down her chair and allowed her mane to fall in front of her face. “I can be such a loudmouth sometimes.” “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s nice to hear that Twily’s been doing stuff besides just reading about other ponies doing things.” Shining leaned against the wall and half-smiled. The sun light pouring in through the tall arched window illuminated the side of his white-coated face that seemed inclined to smile. “I used to worry about her locking herself in a room with a pile of books, like she was spending so much time inside her own head that the world would just eat her up as soon as she stepped out into it.” The shadowed side of his mouth twitched upward into a grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “I guess I was worried over nothing, huh? She ended up saving me…” He bit off the rest of the sentence. With a sudden levity that he did not feel, Shining stood away from the wall and into the direct sun light. “But, as her older brother, what I was hoping to hear was some good dirt—you know, something a loving older brother like myself could tease her about later.” At a look of rebuke from his wife, he pleaded, “Hey, I have a solemn duty to needle her at every opportunity.” He leaned over Fluttershy’s desk and gave her a conspiratorial smirk. “Does she have a boyfriend? Has she busted out the Twily Shuffle at any parties?” Cadance involuntarily snerked but quickly forced her expression back to a frown of disapproval. Fluttershy’s wings reflexively fluffed, and she relaxed in her seat as she would often do when the door to Ponyville Day Spa’s steam room closed leaving her alone with a certain other prying white unicorn. A thin-lipped grin threatened to climb up her cheeks. “Aside from the girls and me, Twilight does not really have any other ponies she hangs out with, so I don’t think she has had any boyfriends. And aside from what happened with Smarty Pants, I don’t know anything too embarrassing about her.” “Twily’s doll?” Shining’s eyes went wide. “She still has that? I could’ve sworn she had gotten rid of it when she was a filly. Anyway, what happened with her and her doll?” Cadance huffed. “Come on, dear, don’t you think that it’s a little mean to be gossiping about your sister behind her back? I honestly don’t think I’ll ever understand how you two can love each other one moment but be at each others throats the next.” Cadance declared as she made a show of returning to her paperwork. “Um, aren’t all brothers like that? I really don’t mean to be rude, but my little brother and I were always looking for ways to embarrass each other when we were growing up. I don’t think Shining Armor means any harm by it. It’s just what brothers and sisters do. Right, Shining?” Fluttershy’s certainty waned, and she awaited validation with bated breath. “You’re an eldest?” Shining asked with a side-long glance. Fluttershy nodded. Memories of pranks and teasing that she and her brother had directed at one another while growing up brought a smile to her face, though she continued to hide part of it behind her mane. “Ahhh…” Shining offered Fluttershy the most genuine smile that he had worn all day as he presented a forehoof to her. “Don’t leave me hanging.” She responded with a giggle and a hoofbump. “Eldest rule,” Shining said softly to Fluttershy as if he were surreptitiously performing the top-secret Eldest Club greeting. “Eldest rule,” Fluttershy returned with a decisive tone in her quiet voice. “It’s just not something that an only child would understand,” Shining said to his wife with a sage shake of the head, earning him another eye roll from Cadance. Turning back to Fluttershy he asked with barely contained excitement, “So, what did she do with her doll?” ~~ The dark princess shrouded the balcony of the castle's tallest tower in sunless shadow as she studied the inky cosmic void that was forming above the waning orange and pink hues on the horizon. The lights and clatter of the city beneath her did not rise above white noise at her altitude. Her eyes swung from point to point across the evening sky, lingering for just a fleeting moment at each stop. Wherever her gaze fell a star blinked into life. Within minutes the once-empty heavens became a twinkling tapestry of constellations. After allowing herself a moment to appraise her work, she closed her eyes and lowered her head to call forth the last and greatest of her charges. Her wings unfurled, catching wisps of shadow with their crests, and her horn began to glow with a silvery-blue light. Silent seconds later, at her command the lonely, pale orb that had for centuries been her prison crept up the horizon and perched itself at the zenith of the night sky. Her nightly duties at an end, Luna began scanning each star and constellation in the sky for flaws. Her eyes studiously avoided its most prominent resident. Satisfied with her work she let out a small sigh and turned to the balcony's entrance, but she stopped short at the appearance of her sunny counterpart waiting beside it and watching her with a mischievous grin upon her face. Celestia strutted up to her sister, shadows retreating at her every step, and made a show of giving the sky above a once-over of her own. “I think you missed a spot. The night doesn’t seem quite as bright as it once was,” she commented with a hint of amusement both in her voice and at the corner of her eyes. “Nay, I am most certain ‘tis not so. With great care have I studied the chart of the new constellations and stars that thou didst provide.” Doubt crossed her face, and she glanced skyward. “Pray tell, hath one of the Wonderbolts eluded mine memory again?” Luna asked as she began to retrace the stars. A mighty wing with a warmth like home pulled Luna away from her task and into Celestia's soft embrace. “Perhaps I am the one who is misremembering. Ever since you’ve been gone, no matter how many more stars and constellations I added to your sky, it has always felt dimmer, emptier,” Celestia finished in a whisper as she looked up at the moon. A silent tear traced a well-traveled line down her cheek. Luna unpinned the wing that was pressed between them and draped it over Celestia’s back. The shared warmth comforted both. “Dry thy tears, dear sister. The hour hath struck upon thy lonesome vigil, and we are as one again.” Celestia took a second to wipe the tear away with the pinions of her free wing while silently apologizing to her lady in waiting who would have to preen her later. She allowed her head to rest atop Luna’s. “You are here,” she breathed as a faint whisper. “You are here, and I am overjoyed. Yet still, I miss the nights at the old castle when I could hear your laughter echo down the halls as you shared some bawdry tale with the kitchen knaves. Though I didn’t much appreciate it at the time, I miss being awakened out bed by the noise of some raucous celebration that you were hosting. Yes, indeed,” she added at Luna’s skeptical glare. “I even miss the mischief that you would get up to with the scullery maids. I miss when you were a star that shined for all the world and not just for me.” “Alack, naught is as ‘twas save I. This new peerage finds little humor in mine jests, and these commoners are wont to meekly cower before me. I fear that, in whatever company I may find myself, mine manner shall be reckoned that of a barbarian. I fear-” The sentence caught in her throat, and her wing flexed around her sister. “I fear to commune with any save thyself. Ne’er before have I felt thus.” Luna finished in a whisper as she gazed upon the moon directly for the first time since she had returned. “Luna, this fear will only be with you until you conquer it. I will be here for you should anything happen. Just promise me that you will let me know what you are feeling this time,” Celestia said, returning Luna’s squeeze. “Easily do I so swear,” Luna replied with a dismissive shake of her head. “The path to ruin doth now appear most familiar to mine eyes, and well guarded am I against its perils.” Her eyes found a dark patch of the sky which she had favored with few stars. “‘Tis the unfamiliar which now vexes me. Verily, I know not how to begin to approach the ponies of this age.” “You begin, dear sister, by putting one hoof in front of the other. A first step not taken is always a false step.” Celestia withdrew her wing in signal that it was time for Luna to begin her quest. Luna furled her wing as well, and the night air upon Celestia’s back gave her a shiver. Luna bit back a mirthful giggle, which Celestia was quick to notice. “Is there something funny about what I said?” Luna’s barrel trembled with suppressed laughter. “To hear the low vulgate of this age upon thy tongue as thou wouldst dispense thy profundities is delightfully absurd.” Celestia narrowed her eyes and favored her sister with a thin-lipped smirk. “It is a skill, Luna, which you would do well to cultivate.” Luna’s silent chuckle stopped, and she blinked, rolling the thought over in her head. Celestia continued her lesson, “Speak with those whom you already know such as my student and her friends. Surely they will not shy away from you, and, even if they do, do not let it upset you. Simply try again with others. Keep in mind that the castle's staff are as anxious and uncertain of you as you are of them. I am sure that you will find somepony among them to make friends with, just as you did long ago.” Celestia let out a slight yawn and began to move away from Luna. “It has been a long day for me, and your night has just begun. If you’ll excuse me, I'll be off to my rest. Good night, Luna.” “Until the morrow, sister,” Luna replied as she watched Celestia disappear down the tower’s spiral staircase. When Celestia was out of sight, Luna spread her wings and took flight, keen to put her sister's advice into practice. Shadow cloaked her flight, making her appear as a hole in the starry sky. She searched the palace below for places where her sister’s student and her friends might be laboring over great stacks of papers and spotted a window in the west wing behind which a figure moved in the interior lamplight. Luna began to descend but balked at the open arched window. In her own time, unicorns had tended to be disturbed when fliers entered a room through the window. This was not her time, she rationalized, eager as she was to get on with her adventure. She swooped down through the window and into what proved to be a spacious and opulent drawing room. Shadows flowed in around her looking like a great wispy specter. The lone chambermaid who had been in the room shrieked and bolted, escaping into the hall before her feather duster hit the ground. Luna sighed and rolled her eyes. It seemed some matters of decorum had remained unchanged. Luna trotted into the hall after the maid and, not knowing which way she had gone nor where her own quarry might be found, turned west to head further into the wing, the hope of rekindling the companionship and liveliness that she had enjoyed in the distant past driving her on. As she made her way along the long hall which intersected the numerous corridors of her still-unfamiliar new home, she noticed that they were all silent and devoid of occupants save for the occasional member of the household staff who seemed so engrossed in their nightly duties that Luna decided that it would be terribly inconsiderate to waylay them. After walking on a ways her patience began to wane, and she slowed to a walk before coming to a complete stop behind a porcelain-colored unicorn mare with a black mane tied into a messy bun who was occupied with reorganizing a bookcase that sat along the wall across from a corridor that led to several guest bedrooms. Luna stood a few feet behind the unaware maid weighing the risks of attempting to engage her in small talk. ‘’T’would be poor form for the lady of the manor to call away one who labors upon her behalf for naught but idle chatter. Is there a proper subject by which I might engage her? Commenting upon her work may be mistaken for scolding. Mayhaps I might inquire after her cutie mark? Aye, that seems agoodly cours-’ her thoughts were interrupted as she felt something bump into her. Luna looked down at the mare who was now tangled in between her forelegs and quite frozen in surprise. Thinking quickly, Luna blurted out the first thing that came to her mind, “Good eve, maid. Thou hath tarried long upon yon bookcase. Might that be thine special talent?” She regretted her words as soon they left her mouth. The maid's expression shifted from surprise to horror as she scrambled to her hooves, being mindful to not bruise the royal legs and thus further cement the end of her career. “I’m s-sorry if I was taking too long, Your Highness. It’s just that today is my first day and, um... I-I noticed the dictionaries on this bookcase weren’t in order while I was dusting it, and I decided to reorganize them. Please don’t send me away, Your Highness. I can’t go back to the travel industry,” the maid pleaded as she dropped to her front knees before Luna. With a small sigh, Luna tried to remedy her own mistake as best she could. “Fear not, for We had intended no rebuke. Rather, ‘tis We who should apologize for afflicting thee so when Our purpose had been only to praise thy diligence. Arise… Prithee, what is thy name?” “Turn Down, Your Majesty,” the maid said as she rose to her full height which was just above Luna’s shoulders. Her shaking abated, but she continued to breathe heavily though her nose as she came down from her earlier scare. “Thy…” Luna began but just as soon recalled her sister’s words: It is a skill, Luna, which you would do well to cultivate. “...Your,” she pronounced the word while feeling it upon her tongue, “efforts are most satisfactory, Turn Down. That... you recognized that the books were out of place is a testament to your quality. ‘Tis said, ‘Eyes that look are common, but eyes that see are rare.’” A warm blush spread across Turn Down’s face, and she bowed her head in part to hide the irrepressible grin that spread across her face at the praise coming from the princess. “You are too kind, Your Highness. I was just doing my job. It’s hardly worthy of your attention.” “Poppycock. She is a poor mistress who permits the good efforts of her servants to pass without remark,” Luna spoke with ease for the first time during their conversation, feeling quite satisfied with the rosy glow that the maid now wore. “Turn Down, might We impose upon you further? We are afraid that We find ourselves quite lost in this palace and want for some guidance.” “Of-of course, Princess.” With nervous excitement, Turn Down curtsied and awaited Luna’s instruction. ~~ “...and then, from what I remember, Princess Celestia fixed the whole problem. Twilight and her doll were the talk of the town for at least two weeks. The other girls teased her about it for much longer than that,” Fluttershy finished as she scribbled Angel Bunny’s social security number onto the last of her paperwork. “Dear Celestia, that was a good one. Next time I see my li’l sis I am so bringing this up.'' Shining laughed, stamping his hoof in the process. As his laughter died down, a creak from the tall oaken door at the front of the room announced the arrival of Princess Luna. She stopped to thank a member of the staff for guiding her before throwing open the door and walking inside. “Good eve, dear subjects. Our sister hath counseled Us to call upon Our redeemers and… to whence hath everypony fled?” Luna asked, finding only one of their number in the room. “Oh, Your Highness! What brings you here at this hour?” Shining asked, surprised at the lunar monarch's sudden appearance but, out of habit, immediately settling into his familiar role as the captain of the guard. His hooves clicked on the marble floor as he stood to attention. The other two mares in the room stopped what they were doing and rose from their desks to perform an impromptu curtsy. Sensing the abrupt change in atmosphere Luna approached Shining Armor as he finished his question and thought of the best way to engage with the trio in an informal manner. Her thoughts were interrupted when a low grumble rang out from Shining’s stomach giving her the perfect opportunity. “You have,” Luna mouthed in an awkward manner that caught Shining’s attention. “not yet taken mess, Captain? We had come here to extend Our gratitude to the ponies who did serve in the defense of Canterlot not yet a fortnight past and perhaps to share their company, but ‘twould seem that nary a one is to be found save th-you three who are now before Us,” Luna began. She paused to take a clearer look at the ponies before her. “’Tis of no great import. As your bellies do protest mightily, ‘twould not do to await your fellows any longer. We would ask that you sup with Us tonight. Indeed, We insist,” Luna said with a magnanimous, narrow smile. The trio before her had relaxed their postures by the time that she had finished speaking. “Uh, are you sure you want to eat with us, Princess?” Shining asked, uncertain if he had heard her correctly due to her archaic manner of speaking. “I think that sounds very nice, Nightmare Moon- oh!” Fluttershy covered her mouth with her forehoof. “I mean Princess Luna. I’m sorry,” she finished in a strained whisper while hiding behind her mane and squeezing herself into an ever smaller ball behind her desk. Luna forced a smile over clenched teeth. “Think naught of it, dear Fluttershy.” Clearing her throat, she turned her attention back on Shining Armor, “Now then, Captain, wouldst you be so kind as to guide Us to the dining hall? We fear this maze of a palace that Our sister did commission while We were away,” she said with a quick glance at still-cowering Fluttershy, “is still unfamiliar to Us.” Shining Armor performed a smart military bow and took the lead. Cadance hastened forward and sidled up to her groom. “I guess we’re eating dinner with the princess now?” Cadance quizzically whispered to her husband. “I’m not sure we can say no. Anyway, it definitely beats paperwork,” Shining replied with a laugh and held the door for his wife and Luna. With a nod of his head in the direction of the egressing party he beckoned Fluttershy to join them. Fluttershy slid out from behind her desk and began to hurry after Cadance and Luna before giving an uncertain glance back at Cadence’s stack of paperwork. “Um, what do we do about these?” Shining smiled, “It’s okay, Fluttershy. We can leave them for now. We’re on official business for a princess who’s actually in charge of something.” “I heard that,” Cadance sing-songed from the hall. Shining winced and followed Fluttershy out of the room. “She must have super princess hearing,” he whispered to Fluttershy who suppressed a giggle. ~~ “Yea, much to our horror, We found the cliff nigh at our very backs as Our company was set upon by the diamond dog freebooters,” Luna regaled her dinner guests with no shortage of dramatic flair, conjuring up magical shadow puppets to do mock battle upon the long dining hall table. The head of the table where Luna sat served as the cliff in her tale. “Verily, We weathered the onslaught, but those of Our number who bore wounds from the tilt did need to suffer their afflictions with the aid and succor of neither medicine nor healer, being that we were far afield in the Badlands. A most remarkable cavalier, using only his unicorn magic, held the very limbs that had been struck from his body fast to their sockets and forced his blood to pass first into his severed legs and then out again back into his own body for all of eight days and nine nights. That he was able to keep his spell turning even as he slept- Ne’er before nor since have We witnessed the like.” Luna allowed her magical constructs to disintegrate into incorporeal mist that retreated into the shadows around the room. Fluttershy, who had been listening intently, interjected, “Oh, what a wonderful way to prevent necrosis from setting in. I will have to remember to ask Rarity to help me in surgery the next time some poor, poor opossum gets run over by a fast-moving wagon cart.” Despite the bloody tale with its spectral actors and Fluttershy’s surprising interest in all things involving disembowelment, Cadance kept a polite and neutral bearing just as Aunt Celestia had taught her to do at the dining table when others behave inappropriately. Her appetite had been lost much earlier on, so she contented herself with observing how many shades of green her squeamish groom could turn. Is that ‘seafoam’? I just had to ask about Blue Blood the First, Shining thought as he tried to concentrate on counting the marble tiles in the floor for the third time. One-thousand, two-hundred, and thirty-nine had been his last count, but it would hurt less to recount them yet again than it would to give his full attention to Luna’s gory retelling of The Third Diamond Dog Civil War. More shadow puppets—of a much larger scale than those before—congealed from shadowy mists. They depicted a bed-ridden pony with two glowing legs surrounded by supportive armor-clad ponies. “Afore We had completed Our retreat to Everfree the cavalier’s fellows had taken to calling him by the name “Blue Blood” owing to the blue glow which his magic cast upon his wounds, hence a noble lineage was born,” Luna finished her story and looked about the table for her audience’s reactions. Cadance clapped politely with a Celestia-like smile. Fluttershy clopped her forehooves together with glee. Shining Armor was late to offer his applause, but he did so with enthusiasm and a grateful grin on his oddly colored face. “That was wonderful, Princess,” gushed Fluttershy. “It reminded me of when I had to perform surgery on one of my beaver friends who almost lost his tail when his dam collapsed. It was oh so difficult to properly set. I think I have the pictures from the operation in my saddlebag in my suite if you want to see them later. May I ask, how did Sir Blue Blood have his legs reattached? I would love to learn more surgical techniques,” Fluttershy asked while nearly bouncing in her seat, much to Shining's horror. There’s teal, Cadance thought. “Ah,” Luna’s expression fell. “We fear that in Our time Our healers had not the mastery possessed by the surgeons of the current age. For though brave Blue Blood’s magic had saved his legs, unbeknownst to Us, it had also impeded their natural mending,” Luna began with regret lacing her voice. “For a time they were left be, as all had thought they would heal on their own. By the time the healers became aware that they would not it was too late to save the poor soul. We have heard the healers of this age call his affliction ‘sepsis.’ Blue Blood's body rotted from the inside as though it had died that week in the badlands and he had persisted by will and magic alone.” To illustrate this, the princess conjured up a shadowy illusion of the ancient unicorn's body as it writhed in pain and fell apart to become some horror from a B-movie. And that’s avocado. Uh-oh. Cadance watched her husband with concern. Fluttershy reached over the table to place a forehoof upon Luna’s. “Oh, Princess, I know how hard it is to lose a patient. Living next to the Everfree Forest, it seems that every other day a cute little critter appears on my doorstep who was injured by the awful, awful monsters that live there. Just last week, Mr. Bear showed up with a broken rib cage and jaw after getting into a fight with a mean old chimera. His fourth rib had a full compound fracture that pierced-” Evergreen. Time to go right now. “Excuse the interruption,” Cadance forced a demure yawn. “but I fear we may have to cut our meal short. I am feeling completely exhausted from all that paperwork that I filled out earlier.” Cadance glanced sidelong at her husband, and he returned a sickly look that said ‘my heroine!’ “Ah.” Luna slumped in her chair. “It had been Our hope, Niece, that th-you would join us at Night Court after Our supper, however We are aware that most ponies spend the night at rest. Might we then assume that you Captain and you Fluttershy will also be leaving?” Luna asked, her voice shrinking with each passing word and her ears slumping until they fell flat upon her scalp. “Oh, if I may, Princess, I would like to stay up with you. I don’t feel tired at all. If you want, I could even gallop up to my suite and find my photo album,” Fluttershy offered. Luna’s posture and expression bloomed. “By your leave, Your Highness, I would like to join my wife. All that paperwork really took it out of me,” Shining said before trying to imitate a yawn. He cut the attempt short when his gorge rose along with it. Luna responded in a soft and sympathetic voice, “You have Our leave, Captain. Well have We marked your anguish. As ‘twas in Our time, the boldest of stallions ever suffer most cruelly the tedium of scrivening. But surely, you and Our niece will not be billeting in the castle barracks. If you have found lodging in town, We would gladly arrange for a carriage to ferry you there.” Shining Armor stood at attention as best he could manage in his state. “Thank you for the offer, Your Highness, but we are staying at my parents' townhouse. It’s only a short walk from here, and they have asked me to do a bit of housekeeping for them while they are away on business.” “Very well, however it is Our command that you rest this eve before fulfilling your obligations to your parents.” Luna dismissed Shining Armor with a nod and turned her attention back to Fluttershy with girlish glee. “Do hurry with your album, dear Fluttershy. We are nigh on giddy with anticipation.” ~~ The late hours of the night seemed to emphasize the emptiness of the streets of Canterlot at night as the pair of newlyweds made their way down Crowned Avenue, the half-way point on their journey to their temporary home. Each pony took turns discussing whatever thoughts happened to cross their minds as they slowly trotted along. “Hey, Honey, remember that old game we used to play when we went out on dates back in high school?” Shining asked during a lull in their conversation. “You’ll have to be a bit more specific, Dear.” Cadance replied, taking the opportunity to drape her wing across her husband's back as a cool wind blew over them. “I’m pretty sure you’ll remember if I start,” Shining began as he inclined his horned head toward a pair of younger stallions stumbling down the other side of the street. “Friends?” Cadance subdued a giggle behind a tight smile as she turned a subtle glance at the pair, “Hmm… I’d say acquaintances. Even though they look like they’re drunk they’re not trying to support each other as they stumble down the street,” she replied. She began to look over passersby for couples, eventually setting her sights upon a pegasus mare and a slightly older pegasus stallion, each of whom was in a different state of intoxication. “Lovers,” she pointed out, as the pegasi came to a stop on the corner of Horseshoe Lane and Blue Blood Boulevard. “Nah, siblings,” Shining stated. “You can tell by the way the dude glared at the two acquaintances that stumbled past them, that was the look of an overprotective brother if I’ve ever seen it.” Shining’s search for couples was interrupted by a growl coming from his stomach, which was by now missing the meal that it couldn’t get earlier. “You know, it might be just me but the princess and her stories totally killed my appetite.” “I hope that’s what that sound was, otherwise I think I might’ve just heard a monster from the Everfree on the loose in the city,” Cadance jested, poking her husband in the stomach with her foreleg. “Since we’re being honest now, I’m not really tired yet.” “You could’ve fooled me. Either way, you saved me from a Luna-tic,” Shining replied. He chuckled at the small groan and a light jab on his shoulder that he received from his wife for his awful pun. “Thanks for that, by the way.” “I was saving myself, too, you know. It’s not fun to explain that your big, brave, studly husband gets faint at even the mention of blood. Remember last Nightmare Night? The haunted house?” Cadance asked, already knowing the answer. “Friends, by the way,” she added as she indicated a pair of mares--a seafoam unicorn and a tan-colored earth pony, the former holding up the latter’s long two-toned hair as she began to empty the contents of her stomach onto the sidewalk. “I thought it was my turn,” Shining replied, eager to change the topic of conversation away from his own squeamishness. He stared at the pair that Cadance had pointed out as he and his wife rounded the corner that turned onto the street that his parents’ home was on. “Uh, it looks to me like those two are more than friends.” “As if! Do you mean that they’re ‘best friends’ or some-” Cadance said, before following Shining’s stare back to the pair who were the subject of discussion. “Oh dear Auntie, that’s disgusting.” Cadance gagged, caught off guard at the sight of the two mares making out over the puddle of bodily fluids they had created moments before. “You mean the vomit and not the mares, right?” Shining jested, earning him another jab in the shoulder, this time with a bit of force behind it. “Oh come on. You know I meant the vomit,” Cadance replied in mock annoyance. “You know, I was thinking of fixing a snack when we get to the house, but you can forget it now.” Her gorge almost rose again at the thought of eating after what she had just witnessed. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry,” Shining pleaded, as the pair reached the stoop in front of his parents’ house. “How about one last one before we get inside?” he asked as they made their way up the steps to the front door. Cadance looked into the street behind her as Shining fished a set of keys from his saddlebags. “Where? I don’t see anypony.” “Neither do I,” Shining began as he turned the key inside the lock, “but I’m pretty sure you know who I’m thinking of.” He shot a sly grin at Cadance as he held the door open for her. “Is it us?” Cadance guessed. She stepped inside the small but well-furnished townhouse. With the hideous display on the streets out of sight, she again began to crave a snack and headed for the kitchen with Shining in tow. Eager to get to the point, Shining said, “I’ll just come out and say it: Fluttershy and my li’l sis. Do you think something more is going on between them?” “Them?” Cadance wondered out loud as she began raiding the pantry for the basic ingredients of a hay sandwich. “I doubt it. Growing up Twilight didn’t seem to be interested in mares.” She gave Shining a questing look as her magic began to assemble her sandwich. “I know what you’re thinking. Fluttershy seemed eager to talk about her, but I’m pretty sure she just wanted to talk about that bear that she’s nursing back to health, not Twilight.” “Maybe that’s true, but Twilight never seemed interested in stallions either. I’m pretty sure I would remember chasing off a couple of them if she were.” Shining added, handing his wife a jar of mayonnaise as he perused the fridge for something to snack on. “But I mean, come on. Do you know of any boys in her friend group? And no, Spike doesn’t count. Every day for Twilight is Taco Tuesday.” Cadance put the jar on the counter and massaged the bridge of her nose, “You did not just say that.” “Let’s make a bet,” he declared as he bit into a carrot that he drew out of the fridge. “Five bits on Twily being into mares and ten more if it’s Fluttershy.” He nudged the refrigerator door closed with his hind hoof as if to punctuate the offer. “And if you’re wrong?” Cadance asked, as she put on a pot on the range. “I’ll do any favor you ask for, except for that thing with the socks,” Shining responded as he turned to make his way to the hall. “I’m gonna hop in the shower first, okay?” “Alright, bet. But are you sure about not doing that sock thing? I promise not to take pictures this time,” Cadance shouted down the hall before hearing the bathroom door open and close. Cadance hummed to herself as she levitated the sandwich in the air before cutting the crust off of it, smiling as she recalled how embarrassed her husband was when she had first found him secretly peeling the crust off on their first date. As soon as she was finished a trio of loud bangs came from the front door, accompanied by the sounds of wheezing and groaning, startling Cadance enough for her to drop the sandwich onto the counter. “Honey, what was that noise?” Shining's voice rang out from the hall. “I-I think somepony’s at the door. I’ll go see who it is,” Cadance called out. With wary steps she made her way to the front door. As she drew near, she was able to make out one pony slurring to another. “Are we- is this your house?” asked a feminine voice from the other side of the door. “Shhhh, I think they’re asleep,” responded the other in a voice that Cadance thought to be familiar before a series of sloppy bangs that could hardly be called knocks crashed upon the door once again “What are- why are you knocking? Where are your key-urk! Lavender, I think I need to use the bathroom.” “Shhhh! You’ll wake up Mom and Dad,” slurred the second voice. Cadance’s body froze, and her mind's gears turned at full speed, trying to put a face behind that drunken slur. Her eyes went wide in shock, as she recognized who it belonged to. “Twilight? Is that- is that you?” she called out before inching the door open to look at the two mares leaning against one another for support. The unfamiliar one held a forehoof over her mouth in an attempt to keep down her stomach’s contents. “Cadance!” Twilight cheered through a wobbly grin. “Sunshine… and ladybugs, and… uh, how’s the honeymoon? Hey, is this Mom and Dad's house? If it isn’t- if it’s not, can I- no, can we stay the night? I’m *yawn* sooo tired. That tea musta been camuhmull,” Twilight slurred as her eyes drifted shut. She wobbled in place before falling face-first onto the mare beside her, the impact causing the strange mare to finally vomit before passing out beneath Twilight’s prone body. “Shining! Come quick!” Cadance shouted. “Oh, why is it always vomit tonight?” The sound of the bathroom door slamming open followed by a series of quick hoof-falls preceded the arrival at the doorway of a soaking wet Shining Armor. “What? What happened? Are you okay? Did those bug things come back?” Shining asked in a panic as he swiftly scanned the street for signs of danger. At last, his gaze fell to the stoop just beyond the front door. His relief was short-lived, as he was overcome by a fit of laughter upon seeing the state that his little sister was in. “Oh, dear Celestia, this is hilarious! Cadance, am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?” “Yep. You definitely have something to tease her about,” Cadance sighed. She appraised the mares at her hooves. “Can you help me get them inside?” “Wait, wait. Lemme get a camera first.” Shining chuckled as he dashed back into the hall. ~~ “Oh, and these,” Fluttershy exclaimed, “are from when I had to treat Gummy’s gingivitis. That alligator needs to learn proper dental hygiene before his big boy teeth grow in.” She flipped the page to show a collection of photos that chronicled the dental procedure. She and Luna laid upon the soft red carpet that decorated the dais of the otherwise unoccupied throne room and poured over Fluttershy’s photo album. Luna’s ethereal tail swung idly in the air as she listened. “Aye, ‘tis of great import to avert the rot taking root within one’s mouth. In Our time, we had not so many sugary treats as you do today, but still the rot did afflict many,” Luna added with a slight nod. “Verily, We are at a loss to say wherefore Our sister’s perfect smile does appear unaffected by her diet of tea and sweetmeats.” With a giggle she added, “The royal mouth may be her most miraculous quality.” Fluttershy hummed a demure laugh along with her. Their conversation fell into a steady rhythm, as Fluttershy carefully flipped through the album. Occasionally she paused to answer the various questions Luna posed when she saw a photo that caught her eye. Minutes went by like this until Luna’s ears flicked at the sound of knocking coming from the great doors at far side of the room. Momentarily, the guard ponies on either side of the doorway pushed open the double-doors to allow a flustered Turn Down to enter the throne room. Several strands of black hair had sprung loose from her bun, and her curtsy was performed in haste. From the open doorway, she said in an anxious voice, “Pardon the interruption, Your Highness, but I believe the ponies that you were looking for have just arrived, but, um,” she trailed off while trying to think of the most delicate way to put it, “they seem to be-” “Looking for the party,” Pinkie Pie’s chipper voice interrupted as she wobbled into the doorway with Rainbow Dash and Applejack draped over her back. Her grinning half-lidded eyes, with some effort on her part, focused on Luna from across the long room. “Hiya, Princess! This maid pony told me that you were having a party in here and I thought,” she stretched her face into a look of drunken amazement, “’Wow, Pinkie! Another royal party? This is gonna be the third one you’ve been to since the wedding,’ and then I was all, ‘*gasp* I know, right? That means we gotta make it bumpin’.’ And now here I am to commence with the bumpaan’.” Applejack mumbled something unintelligible from her back when the guards closed the door behind them, and Pinkie looked back at her. “Or should I say here we are… buuut I don’t think they’re gonna be doing much bumpin’.” “Oh, Pinkie,” Fluttershy exclaimed as she ran to meet her friends half-way across the room, “Are they alright?” “Yeah, A.J. and Dashie are just partied out. Hey, where’re all the decorations and treats?” Pinkie searched to room with wavering eyes as she carefully balanced the two sleeping mares upon her back. “This isn’t really that kind of party, Pinkie,” Fluttershy offered, but when Pinkie’s drunken grin fell into a look of hazy disappointment she added, “It’s more of a scrapbooking party.” Pinkie’s jaw fell as her eyes grew to enormous proportions. “Zulu. Oscar. Mike. Golf! You have Princess Luna’s scrapbook?” She was shrieking by the end of the sentence. She bolted past the stunned Fluttershy to the open book laying on the steps leading up to the throne, not noticing that Applejack and Rainbow Dash had tumbled off her back and onto the soft red carpet. “Hey, it’s Gummy! Princess, why is Gummy in your scrapbook?” Fluttershy rushed to Rainbow Dash, and Luna hurried to check on Applejack. Applejack’s bleary eyes fluttered open, and she was greeted by the sight of Luna staring down at her with concern. “Heh. It’s Princess Luna. That means I’m sleepin’.” She yawned. “Good, ‘cause I’m powerful tired,” she said before passing out again.