//------------------------------// // Unfortunate Name…. // Story: Topper’s Pizza // by Get Bent //------------------------------// Topple (real name: Knead Top) scrubbed hard at the dastardly stain on this pristine porcelain plate. Or, supposedly pristine. It was supposed to be pristine. Yet, this stain, consisting of: pizza grease and marinara sauce; did not want to leave! Oh how hard he scrubbed. And oh how fruitless this battle seemed. Yet when all hope was nearly lost, it began to disappear. Harder he scrubbed, harder he exerted himself, until eventually, the plate was clean! He wiped his brow and put the plate on the drying rack, moving on to the next dish. …Such was life, after all. These dishes weren’t going to clean themselves. Such was HIS life. He, Mr. Top, as young as he was; owned a pizza restaurant in Canterlot. All on his lonesome. With no other employees. This was due to the fact that his parents passed on only about a month ago. When it was the three of them, they didn’t need employees. They could do it on their own. But now that it was just him, he… needed employees. But it wasn’t like he could just make them appear. Force ponies to work. …And he would put out a “help wanted” sign if he could even afford to pay ‘em…. He sighed. Topper’s Pizza was losing money. Well, customers, to be more specific. But that’s what customers were at the end of the day, rude as that sounded. But customers helped pay his bills. No customers = unable to pay bills. And that wasn’t fun. He knew it had something to do with that restaurant down the street gaining popularity, but he couldn’t account all of it to just them. …He was envious. Of course he was. But there were a multitude of factors at play. Factors he wished could just. be solved through hard work. But no matter how hard he worked, he knew it wouldn’t change the fact that maybe Canterlot just… just didn’t like a good old-fashioned pizza pie anymore. It hurt to say, but it was becoming more and more true with every passing day. His restaurant was losing money, nopony wanted to eat his pizza, and- Ding! Oh, a customer! He set down his sponge and walked out of the kitchen. Well, nearly. He stopped at the last minute. He wondered something. “How late is it..?” He muttered, and turned to face the clock. Three in the morning. He sighed. Guess somepony wanted a midnight snack. Hopefully they weren’t cranky… The midnight snack crowd was a mixed bag. Either they’re a night owl coming in for a bite, a night shift pony coming to get lunch, or a kid that just woke up that demanded pizza. It was a tough judgement call on who to keep in the restaurant and who to throw out. So hopefully, this mystery guess was respectful. He opened the kitchen doors and pulled out his notepad, turning to face his customer with a smile. The smile dropped, replaced by a shocked and nervous frown, when he saw who it was. “P-Princess?!” Princess Luna, ruler of the Night, Raiser of the Moon, sat in her throne room. She was very bored. She had reserved this time for night court, yet no pony truly ever visited her courts. If they did, they were there because they couldn’t meet with her sister in time. She was ‘the other princess’. …Such is life, though. She’s learned to live with it. She’s learned to see the pros in it. Such as: more free time. … But what to do with it? By this time in the work-week, she’s already finished all of her royal paperwork and other important duties. She didn’t have anything to do with her time, as much as she wished she did. She’s read every book in the archive twice over. She needed something new. Something different to break up the monotony. grumble… ‘And maybe something to eat,’ she thought, blushing. She hoped nopony was around to hear that. How embarrassing. Her guards were stationed, but she knew they would never utter a peep. It was unlike them. Exhaling, she stepped off of her throne. She could always get some food from the Royal Kitchen, given there was a night crew; but she didn’t want to eat in the castle. She wanted to get out. It was getting stuffy… “Rickets, tell any that need me that I’m going into town.” She ordered, turning to the guard closest to her. “Understood. However, Princess, it’s two in the morning. Would you like any of us to accompany you?” He offered. “Nay, I would like to go alone.” Luna replied. She could handle herself if she were put into any danger. She was from a time when solving your problems with violence was normal. She didn’t need guards. “Got it. Have a good night, Princess.” The guard smiled. “Thank you, Rickets.” She smiled back. Turning, she walked down the hall and out of the throne room. A few turns here, a set of stairs there, and she was on a balcony, said balcony overlooking Canterlot. The city had most of its lights shut out, but she knew there were some stragglers. Some restaurants that stayed open into the late hours. Given the expensive living of Canterlot, some ponies had to work longer hours in order to stay open and afloat. …she respected these ponies. Hard work is important. Getting back on topic, though, she just needed to find a restaurant worthy of satiating her hunger and her… want, to do something for a while. Shouldn’t be too difficult. But then again, Canterlot was quite the mixed bag of ponies… She shook her head. Jumping off of the balcony and taking flight, she headed for the restaurant section of town. She was in the mood for a pizza. It was one of the first things she had eaten upon coming back from her… time on the moon, and she loved it. Spotting a pizza parlor, she began to dip down on her flight path. “P-Princess?!” The pencil fell from his mouth and clattered to the floor. “Hello there.” What could the Princess want? Why was she here? Why at this hour? Was she going to shut down his restaurant? He thought he did well enough to pay the bills, didn’t he? Did he miss one?? These thoughts ran rampant through his head for a little while. Until the Princess cleared her throat, trying to get his attention. “A-Ah, sorry.” He said, shaking his head. “What can I do for you, P-Princess?” He sweatdropped. He hoped she couldn’t sense his nervousness. He had seen the princesses before, of course, but he had never served one a slice of pizza! “Well, I was wondering if I could acquire a pizza pie. Is your restaurant still operating at these hours?” She asked, smiling at the end to seem friendly. The poor stallion was obviously nervous. “Uh- y-yes, I am! We are.” He corrected himself. “What can I get for you?” He asked, despite Princess Luna not even being seated yet. “…well, may I take a seat someplace?” She asked. There was no malice in the way she asked it, but Topple still felt bad. “Y-Yes, sorry, sorry. Right this way.” Gosh, he was bombing! She could totally tell he was a nervous wreck. Hopefully she didn’t say anything. He led her to a booth and she took a seat. Pulling back up his notepad, he got an order for her drink. Nodding, he turned around and walked to the back. Okay, Topple. Okay. You’re serving a water to the Princess of the Night. There’s nothing weird about this. She’s just a customer, same as everypony else. He got out a cup and began to fill it with ice. Just…. He took a deep breath. In, out. Relax. Get her drink, get her order, cook it (as PERFECTLY AS POSSIBLE) and hope she likes it. Afterwards, she’ll pay, hopefully, and then leave. It’s fine. She’s just a normal customer. She’s not the Princess of an entire nation. She’s a customer. She wants pizza. He exhaled, and smiled. He set the glass on a tray and the tray on his back. Walking slowly, he opened the double doors, and walked over to the blue mare. “Here we are, just a water.” He said, using her words. She said a quiet ‘thank you’, and he took his notepad back out. “Are you ready to order?” She put a hoof to her chin, and flipped through the menu once again. “I’ll have the vegetarian pizza.” “What size?” She put her hoof to her chin again. “…Medium.” His eyes widened, but he covered it up. A medium pizza? All on her own? “Sounds great. I’ll be out with that soon. Anything else?” He asked, writing down the previous order. “That should be all.” She said, smiling. Her smile was calming. His nervousness was already fading slightly. Nodding at her, he turned around and walked back to the kitchen. Opening the double doors, he took in another deep breath. “Alright, Topple. Can’t screw up now.” He began to cook the best pizza he had ever cooked. His nervousness returned slightly, but he was able to force it down. He set his temperatures exactly, he made sure the veggies were proportionate, he carefully positioned the wooden slider tool, he pulled all the stops. This was a pizza for the Princess. He couldn’t mess it up, lest he get sent to the moon. He gulped. That was just a joke… … …Hopefully she liked it… *** After a while, his timer dinged, signifying the pizza was completed. He removed it from the oven and admired his work. The crust was smooth, the veggies cooked. Things looked good. He transferred it to another tray, where he cut it into individual slices. He then took a deep breath as he balanced the pizza on his back. ’Well, here goes nothing…’ He thought to himself. This is probably the most nervous he’s ever been in his entire life. Not even asking out Blue Cherry in the 5th grade made him this nervous. He felt like he could throw up. But that would be bad for business, so he didn’t. He forced it down again. He had a duty to do. His job. The Princess needed her pizza. “Got your pie here, Princess.” He said his signature line, walking over to her table. “Ah, wonderful.” She said. As he set it down on her table, she inhaled deeply. “It smells good. You’ve done a stupendous job, my subject.” He felt momentarily relieved, “Ah, I’m glad-“ “I wonder how it tastes.” She muttered, picking up a slice in her magic. … As she brought it to her lips, his eyes widened in shock. “Princess, wait-!” She bit into the slice of pizza. She chewed slowly and nodded as Topple stood there, slack-jawed. She seemed to be enjoying it, b-but… “That was rather warm.” She said. “Nothing I can’t handle, of course, but I probably should’ve waited before eating it.” That was a pizza that came right from the oven… He coughed, regaining his bearings. She seemed to have blamed herself for it but he still felt at fault. He could’ve said something. “A-Ah, yeah, sorry. I tried but it took a while to consider that- that, um, thought process.” He was stumbling over his words. “It’s alright. The pizza is wonderful, thank you, Mr…” The pizza is wonderful! Wait, she was asking for his name. He considered whether or not he should tell her, before he shook his head and internally smacked himself. Of course he should. “It’s Knead Top, Princess.” “Excuse me?” She asked, slightly offended. He coughed. “I know, I know. Unfortunate name.” He smiled nervously, a blush adorning his features. “But most ponies just call me Topple.” She tilted her head. “Topple? Why’s that?” He shook his head. “Agh. You fall over one time in elementary, and all of a sudden, everyone’s calling you Topple…” He chuckled, and she giggled. He.. liked her laugh. It was nice. Huh? “Would you mind if I called you Topple?” She asked, taking another bite of pizza. “Not at all.” He nodded, getting over his momentary internal struggle. She nodded, smiling. They settled back into a silence. “Well, I’m gonna get outta your mane. You can enjoy your-“ “Actually,” she interrupted. He stopped talking. “Would you mind joining me?” ‘…huh?’ “H-Huh? What?” He asked. He wasn’t sure he heard her right. She wanted him to join her? “You want me to join you?” Him. She wanted him. A common pony. To join her. Royalty. For pizza. It just didn’t make sense… “That is what I said.” She clarified, and gave him a look that said ‘yeah, I meant it’. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the look. But who was he to say no? “Well I’ll be…” he muttered. “Um, sure. I guess I could join you.” “Wonderful!” She said, raising her voice. Upon realizing it, though, she blushed and quieted back down. He pretended not to notice as he sat down across from her. She pushed the plate of pizza towards him. He waved it off, muttering a ‘thank you but no thank you’. “So,” she started. He was thankful she did. He was terrible at conversation. “Is this your restaurant? You look a little young to own a restaurant all on your own.” She put a hoof to her chin. He nodded, smiling painfully. “Yeah, it’s mine. It was an inheritance, though. You were right about me being young. My parents, they, uh..” he trailed off. Luna seemed to get the message. “Oh, my apologies. I did not mean to bring up any painful memories.” She seemed visibly more downtrodden now. Same as he did. “Ah, it’s okay.” He smiled, hoping to lift her spirits. “I’ll get over it.” Princess Luna looked like she wanted to say something in response, but she bit her tongue. “Now it’s my turn for a question..” He trailed off. “Go on.” She said, accepting his choice of words. “Why did you ask me to sit with you?” The question was accompanied by his signature head-tilt. He was genuinely curious. She looked up at the ceiling in thought, before turning her head to face him. She made eye-contact, and he had to do everything he could to not look away. “…You interest me, Knead Top.” “…uh..” “You see,” she said, starting what will probably be an explanation for her behavior. He hoped. “I spend a lot of my time with nobles. Rich ponies. And… some of them aren’t very nice.” She looked away. “Don’t get me wrong. I love all of my subjects. But some of them can use a few lessons in manners.” She turned back to him. “When I left the castle a few hours ago, I considered the possibility that a restaurant I wanted to go to for my pizza pie was… run by a money-hungry business owner. One that did everything they could to earn more money, forgetting about the little pony.” She scoffed. “In layman’s terms, the owner of whatever restaurant I found was going to be absolutely insufferable.” She explained. “However, upon walking in here and seeing you? The way you carry yourself, the way you do things. It’s honest. It’s familiar. It’s like you truly care for what you’re doing, and I pride myself on my ability to notice that. This pizza is amazing, and my assumption is that, even though I am a Princess, you care enough about your customers to make pizza this good every time.” She exhaled quickly, and took a sip of her water. “It’s such a breath of fresh air, Topple. I’m glad to be out of that stuffy castle, and in a pizza shop, talking to a pony that knows what it means to work hard and do their best.” She smiled. He grinned. “Thank you, Princess. It means a lot to hear that.” Truth be told, Topple was losing a lot of motivation. As already showcased by… everything. Lack of customers and bills piling up was making him want to just… quit the business, and get a job at a factory or something. Throw away everything his parents worked for. Luna’s words helped revitalize him just that little bit. He didn’t feel completely fixed and ready for action, but he was on the first stepping stone. “And I really appreciate you not being afraid of me.” Princess Luna muttered, taking a bite of pizza. She still had a bit left to go. “Pfft, you kidding? I was super nervous cooking the pizza. I’ve never cooked for royalty before.” He chuckled. She didn’t. “I meant… not being afraid. Afraid for your life and your safety.” She muttered, frowning. “There are a lot of ponies that still cower in my presence. Such as the nobles I mentioned previously.” “I’m glad you’re not like the others, Topple. I know I don’t know a lot about you, but I can tell you’re more relaxed in my presence than the average pony.” She smiled, genuinely so. A smile of relief, yet also of.. pain. “Oh, um.. it’s no problem, Princess.” He coughed. He considered whether or not he should continue speaking. When she looked expectant, he threw metaphorical caution to the metaphorical wind. “I uh, have never really been afraid of the ‘mare in the moon’. I didn’t trust when you had redeemed yourself, though. Even if I wasn’t afraid, I wasn’t stupid.” The Princess looked away in shame. Crap. He needed to fix the situation. “..but, my parents chose to believe that you had redeemed yourself, so they instilled that in me. They said things like ‘our princesses’ and tried to show me whenever you did something good for the community. Eventually, I began to believe it. I could see it. You truly were a kind soul, and you didn’t deserve the reputation you had.” Noticing she was still looking away, he put a hoof on hers. He had… forgotten he was speaking to a Princess. She looked at said hoof, and then up at Topple. He then realized exactly what he was doing, blushed, and pulled his hoof away. “A-Ah, sorry!” … Princess Luna laughed. Not a giggle, not a chuckle. A laugh. A real laugh. “It is okay, Topple. Thine comfort was appreciated. You hath made Our night.” Woah, old Equestrian.. “Thine parentals sound like they were wonderful ponies. It’s no wonder you came out as you did.” The Princess said, reverting to modern Equestrian. He smiled. “Thanks, Princess.” He felt he was doing that a lot recently. Smiling. A lot more than he was used to, at least. Princess Luna finished up her last slice of cold pizza right as closing time rolled around. “I’m afraid it’s time for me to close up shop, Princess.” Topple sighed. “I need to get some rest.” “Not a problem. I feel I’ve spent enough time here as it is. I need to be getting back as well.” She said, and they both stood up. They faced each other for a little bit. “So, uh. I guess this is where we part ways.” Topple muttered. “I guess it is.” She said, “Thank you for spending time with me, Topple.” She smiled. She was doing a lot of that too. “Heh, it’s no problem, Princess. Come back any time. My doors will be open.” He gestured to said doors. “I’ll hold you to that, my little pony.” She nodded, slipping in something her sister usually said. “Now, how much do I need to pay you?” “On the house.” He said instinctually. Royalty messed with his brain. What was he saying? He needed that money. Desperately so. “I don’t think so.” The Princess said, making a coin purse appear out of nowhere. “How many bits?” “Are you sure?” “Positive.” …He did the math in his head. “It’s about 10 bits for the meal, Princess.” He muttered. “Got it.” She took out.. 12 bits. And then 15. And then. Too many. She put them on the table. “P-Princess, that’s…” “10 bits, plus a tip. Enjoy your rest, Topple.” She said, walking towards the door. “May your dreams be sweet and your parlor be fruitful!” “I’ll see you, Princess…” he muttered, still not believing the amount of money he saw on the table. She opened the door, but turned to face him. “Oh, and…” His ears perked up. “Call me Luna.”