//------------------------------//
// Kids Will be Kids 
// Story: Goats of Summer 
// by SparklingTwilight 
//------------------------------//

In tha' morning we were still entwined and Lightning Dust was snoring, so I carefully disentangled my forelegs and my hind and made my way to a private place ta' use as an outdoors outhouse--in other words--a pit to sit.

A couple younger goats--kids was it? They were stirring nearby and jumped with surprise, then ran off. Squintin' tha' sleep out of my eyes, I saw that they had been worryin' a couple of mountain laurels flowerin' out of the waste piles. The leaves and fruiting pods were chewed.  My mouth was a bit dry and the uneaten ones were wet with morning dew an' it was maybe still a little early to return to camp. Although city ponies might turn up their nose at eatin' flowerin' fruit from manure--tha' nutrients actually make it taste better. So, driven by thirst and grogginess, I trespassed... gingerly steppin' over a low fence and, scrunching my nose, went over to try some.

Once I did, I started shaking and... I blacked out.

*

Lightning Dust and Biceps were standing over me and there was the sound of campers whispr'in-but-not-whispr'in as they are wont to do. Lightning Dust and Biceps were rubbing my lips with a wet cloth. My stomach cramped.

"It's okay, S-Sticks," Biceps cooed in-between a stutter. It seemed he hadn't completely gotten rid of that impediment.

"Sticks?" Lightning Dust sneered. Biceps ignored her, but he flushed a bit and didn't use that pet name again.

"Gotta hurt in my side," I said.

"Can you get up?"

"Maybe."

He and Lightning Dust took up position on either side of me and helped support me to standin' position. Then they helped me back over the fence. 

"Goats aren't going to be happy," Lightning Dust mused, indicatin' the crossed fence with a glance.

The campers oohed and awed.

"I shouldn't have. Was thirsty."

"I think those were f-funny beans..." Biceps pondered.

"What?"

"C-came across them in a d-ietary book." Biceps looked down at his bulging chest. "M-mentioned goats grew them... although the f-funny beans are illegal."

"Why funny? I don't feel funny... maybe in a bad way."

"Funny beans?" The campers chirped.

"Goats tremble and hallucinate when consuming them... but ponies pass out and cramp up."

"Aren't you an experienced camper?" Lightning Dust challenged. "And you ate them on purpose?"

"These looked like a different variety of what we have on tha' farm in tha' manure. Never seen... not-so funny beans..."

"They make your belly feel 'funny'," Biceps postulated an explanation for the name.

"Ah," I paused. "Ah... I'm gonna hurl."

Lightning Dust immediately dropped away from supporting me and the bile rose in my throat. Biceps heftily positioned me into a reasonable position, and I spewed. The campers keened. Thank Celestia there wasn't much to expel. Then Biceps wiped my mouth again. "Let's get back to the cabin."

We returned. He never asked if Lightning Dust and I worked anything out.

*

When I was better, a day later, I was disappointed to find the campers bullying each other. A pegasi and earth pony fight again about who contributed more to Equestria--exactly the type of dispute we shouldn't be having at friendship camp. To be fair, though, it was a bit more nuanced. And personal.

"Pegasi like Lightning Dust aren't just faster--they're smarter!"

"Fiddlesticks is plenty smart! She can play the fiddle like nopony else!"

"And she's caring too! She sat up all night for two nights with Wind Runner when she had the feather runs."

I shivered. The feather runs weren't just the runs as experienced by earth ponies and unicorns. Their feathers also secreted sticky, smelly, liquid for a couple days that got into everything. Pegasi diseases were disgusting.

"But she's such a dumb dirt pony that she ate dirt and got sick."

"We're earth ponies! Not dirt ponies!"

"Grow things in the ground! Synonyms! It's all the same."

"She didn't eat dirt! I was there! Counselor Bulk Biceps said it was funny food."

"Was she laughing?"

"No."

"Then what makes it funny?"

"Pegasi are stupid--Counselor Bulk Biceps doesn't know what he's talking about."

"You take that back!"

I should have intervened earlier, but at least I came in soon enough to stop more of the shoving.

"Behave yourselves," I ordered. "Act like friends."

"Why?" An earth pony sneered--seriously, one of my charges.

"Because this is a friendship camp!" I punctuated the word 'friendship'.

"You n' Lightning Dust wrassle all tha' time!" Assenting murmurs all around at the comment from my distant cousin--ugh.

"I-" I did. But... "We worked it out."

"Y'all are still mean to each other even after Counselor Bulk Biceps punished both of y'all."

Not untrue. "We're working on it."

"So are we," a pegasus said.

I huffed. "Try something more constructive. Work together on a project. That's your punishment. You--you--and you--and you--and you two." I pointed at the ponies who had been gathered around... conveniently three earth ponies and three pegasi. Grumblin', they hoofed off.

Then I waved down Lightning Dust.

She came to a stop just short of me, blowing dust into my face. I didn't flinch.

"Lightning Dust... we need to stop fightin'." I sneezed. At least I'd been able to keep tha' dust out long enough to say my bit.

"No hoofs were thrown," Lightning Dust smirked.

"Verbal wrasslin' is still wrasslin'."

"Verbal what?"

"Wrasslin'."

"Wrestling?"

"No. Wrasslin'. Fightin'."

Lightning Dust snickered.

I narrowed my eyes. "Wasn't so funny for you at night when you were shiverin' and callin' for your cumulus!" I shouldn't have said that, but it made me feel good.

Lightning Dust looked to a side and crossed her hooves as she hovered. "I didn't say anything about a cumulus cloud."

"It clearly isn't a cloud."

"Yeah it is."

I led Lightning Dust away from the campers' surprisingly agile ears. "The kids were fightin' today."

"So?"

"About us."

"Who won?"

"You know that's not right. You're a licensed EEA counselor--act like one!"

Lightning Dust rolled her eyes.

"About that cloud again?" I asked in hushed voice.

Lightning Dust curled her upper lip.

"You're clearly coming from some trouble--"

"What do you know about that?"

"Those goats weren't hurting each other--at least non-consentually--an' most ponies would be a mite upset but--that was a panic attack." Against my better judgment, I placed a foreleg around Lightning Dust's shoulder.

"You coming on to me?" Lightning Dust sneered, but she didn't remove my foreleg.

I sighed. "Lightning... we're both licensed counselors. We both know what to look out for. If you won't talk about that, then what about how you came to work here?"

"I applied."

"And got accepted."

"Yeah."

"Simple as that?"

"Yes."

"But you weren't the first choice--she got injured in the incident."

"So I was the second choice for female counselor, so what?"

"I'm... just guessing here... but you mentioned you didn't have a lot of opportunities ta' fly free."

"Yes."

"Your parents worked late... or maybe there was only one... after a time."

Silence. Lightning Dust stared and bit her lower lip. Then she shook me off her shoulder.

"Youse think youse so wise--farmer girl--country wisdom helpin' a city girl. Try to--try--try to keep up! Truth or dare on Thursday. Maybe I'll tell you then if you're so clever." And she broke off.

She didn't give me much trouble for the rest of that week.

*

The campers were asleep--probably. They'd had a swimming day, and I'd played my fiddle for jig dancin' so they were prob'ably tuckered out. It'd been a good fiddle performance. Even a couple o' goats had stood mesmerized a ways away, swayin' and cooin' at the sound.

But now us counselors had our weekly meetin' comparin' notes and plans over firelight. Then it was time for team building. It was Lightning Dust's chance to choose the activity and she'd chosen probably the most childish and stupid option available--truth or dare.

I expected her to come at me... but she threw me off-balance. She winked bloodshot eyes at me, and, still staring directly at me, chose whosit, my subordinate counselor. 

"I dare you," she said. "To kiss the most beautiful pegasus at this fireplace."

Even if whatshisname was interested in stallions--and he wasn't--Biceps probably wouldn't have been winnin' that race. He had muscles, sure--great for an earth pony but his face was a bit weird too. I wasn't into muscles, which made it all the weirder that of all the pegasi, I'd been with him. Of course I was glad his muscles helped him get airborne more often. As far as looks went, though, I preferred something sleek I could get myself around like a musical instrument--a bit rare in earth ponies but more common in pegasi. Nope. Well... tarnation yuppers, Lightning Dust could be considered beautiful by my standards. Dangnabit.

With the only realistic option for him being Lightning Dust, utterly bland well-built whosit smiled a tight grin and moved over. She went airborne and dropped down on his lips with a backwards kiss and... I looked away.

Some time later, Biceps and myself were humming to cover the smacking sounds and the two of them finished their...time and it was Biceps turn. He looked at me and asked--"Truth: do you sometimes not answer your letters?"

By Celestia. That had bothered him. He was talking about his letters to me. I had ignored them on purpose. I reddened. 

"She doesn't wanna answer--do a dare instead," Lightning Dust was right on the opportunity.

Biceps sighed. "I-I'm sorry. I-I wanted to know for sure."

I waved him off and said: "Dare instead."

"Um..."

"Dare her to--jump in goat waste!"

Biceps frowned at her.

"C'mon. She's gonna have to do it since she didn't do the Truth! She can shower right after."

"That's a health hazard." 

I smiled. Biceps wasn't gonna make me get dirty.

"It isn't anything she didn't make me do."

"What?"

Oh no.

"On the first day--Counselor Fiddlesticks here had me fly into a pile of goat pies."

Biceps and my subordinate looked at me. I looked to a side. I bit my lower lip. "I need ta' go-go-um," I got up.

Biceps stood too and cleared his throat. Lightning Dust darted over and blocked my path.

"There was a reason--" my excuse didn't sound good.

Biceps sighed. "On the first day?"

I kicked at the dirt. "She was--deserved it."

Biceps shook his head.

"Tit for tat--sister!" Lightning Dust laughed.

I should have explained more but I was really--really wrong-hoofed. 

"Would this make things even?" Biceps asked. "Reduce animosity?"

Lightning Dust covered her chuckles with a hoof. At least she was tryin' not ta' wake our charges. "Sure. Why not?"

"You mule of a pony!" I shouted.

And there was silence.

"I um... shouldn't have said that. We had a mule who was a real jackass who worked for the farm and--"

Biceps blinked. "I wasn't inclined to--this Truth or Dare game is terrible--and we are focusing on friendship with all types of creatures. But--" he looked around at all of us. "Do it. Dare."

"Oh Celestia--"

Biceps turned his back.

I stiffened and walked toward the goat pie mounds. The others followed, firefly jars illuminating the path as we made our way to the place where my animosity with Lightning Dust had begun. She took into the air to watch. "Just a running jump--" she goaded.

I took a deep breath and aligned myself. I hated Lightning Dust. Hated her so much. And I ran. And I was covered in it, and the pile tipped over and narrowly missed covering me--crushing me--suffocating me.

There was a slow clip-clop clap of hooves, started by Lightning Dust and joined by the others.

"Let's get Fiddlesticks to the showers--" Biceps suggested.

"Wait," I said, dried waste toppling off my shoulder as I walked. "I haven't had my turn. Lightning Dust--Truth!"

Lightning Dust, alighted on the ground and illuminated by her jar, rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"What is 'Cumulus'?" The uttered expression from her terrified night.

"A type of cloud," she laughed. "That was easy."

"The other Cumulus. A pony?"

"No."

"You liar!"

"I t-thought this was going to s-stop," Biceps swallowed, then hollered: "YEAAAAHH! Stop it!"

We stopped. 

"Get cleaned up," Biceps led us back to the showers. "Everypony's too tired."

*

Under the water, I was alone, my goat filth contaminating the ground. I had been there a while.

Lightning Dust, with her tired, bloodshot eyes, was at my side: "Fiddlesticks,"

I jumped and kicked out. "Don't bucking startle me!" At least it was just my nemesis and not some goat-horn murderer from a campfire horror story. "Come ta' jest at me?"

"No," she shook her head. "Since you did it, stinky sis, I'll be fair," she swallowed and the sneer went out of her. "The truth about Cumulus.... Youse already guessed most and I know ya' kept Derecho's secret and stayed up with a pegasi camper who had the feather runs. Youse gonna keep quiet, though, right?" She tapped a hoof under one bag-heavy eye in a symbol of secrecy, I suppose. Some city thing, I guess.

I grunted.

"Okay. Cumulus. I should have brought her. She's my cozy. For hugs. Probably that's why I hugged you. I was upset. You're right. I couldn't have slept otherwise. I haven't been sleeping, actually. Thanks.... Sis. For that. Not for the other crap you started. But thank you for that. Youse didn't have to do it." 

I was dripping wet, and I still smelled, but I cried. Something horrible had happened to Lightning Dust and her family and maybe she was just fronting and trying to build herself up when she'd arrogantly put my campers in danger on the first day and many times thereafter. I choked back tears. She had put children in danger. Our special mostly helpless charges. I sniffed. "Fine."

She looked to a side, then up. "Okay."

"I hate you. But I won't bring it up. Even ta' hurt you. That's who I am."

"I can tell," she said. She even sniffed. After a long dripping pause: "How were the drugs?" The goats'. We'd reported the presence to older goats and, presumably, those elders would remove the illegal plants. At least the plants we had seen were gone.

"...terrible."

She nodded. "Overdosing isn't great."

"You would know?"

"Um. Good night." She left.