//------------------------------// // Chapter 17: School of the Wizards Part 5 // Story: Fallout: Equestria – The Hogwarts Chronicles // by Fanficwriter1994 //------------------------------// ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st Pony POV – Rose Evans ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~ “So, I can actually sue those writers?” I asked, sitting with Lyra and Bon-Bon across a Goblin. This was Crooked Tooth, he was a lawyer. The goblins were the only ones in the Magical World operating law firms, using magical artifacts to disguise themselves as humans and attend law school in the Muggle world. Yeah, they had more than two halfs of half a brain cell to rub together, here in the Magical World, that’s pretty damn impressive. “Yes you do, it is a case of defamation and, more importantly, breach of privacy. Additionally you do not receive any royalties from them, we have checked.” Stated Crooked Tooth and I nodded, I had suspected as much to be honest. “Now, we can sue them to take the books out of production and make an official apology, not to mention paying you up to half the earnings they reported to have received. Question is, our payment.” He stated, and I blinked a bit. I hadn’t actually thought on money. “Erm, mom? Alright if I decide it myself?” I asked Lyra and Bon-Bon, saying “Mom, Mom” just didn’t work to be honest. They nodded though so I turned back to my lawyer. “Well, since I have a pretty full vault with more money than I’ll need for my school attendance and that’s the only thing so far that I can use money for when nobody comes over to trade from here, erm… how about 75% of the money goes to Gringott’s and in return my vaults get moved to higher security?” I suggested and… yeah it was hilarious to watch the Goblin’s mask slip as he caught a coughing fit at that. “Mi- Miss Evans, are you aware what you’re suggesting here?” He asked in disbelieve and I smiled at him in return. “I have no idea about the numbers sir, and while Professor Binns can make stuff that could be turned into a quite thrilling movie into the most boring lecture to ever be made, I know that it is best to try and get along with the Goblins of Gringott’s Bank. I’d really prefer having some form of good rep than money I don’t need.” I explained and saw him grinning, a hint of greed there. Not surprising. “Fucking hell, a Wand Waver with common sense.” He commented and I smiled, tapping my horn. “Not really using any wands anymore mister Tooth, but I get it. I swear there are some people who just don’t think about anything beyond what they’re told.” I stated, thinking about Gilderoy Lockhart. The Goblin snorted at that, leaning back. “Well said there, I suppose I can’t argue with you not being a human witch anymore. Anyway, we can arrange for that, the money you’re giving up to us is far and enough based on my estimates alone, to get that vault upgrade. Though we Goblins like to make a good will trade, so I will ask that you make another request in that regard.” He stated and I blinked, that was… odd. Cupping my chin I thought about it. There wasn’t a lot that I could ask for, Goblins were notorious for seeing selling something as a simple matter of leasing it away. So there was that. However, something come to my mind, something I had seen weeks earlier. “Mister Tooth, I… Do you know a way for a fraction of a soul to be embedded into something? By magic that is?” I asked and he tensed up, so yeah he knew. “A few weeks ago the soul of Princess Luna, the former ruler of Equestria, entered my dreams and banished something inside of me. She said it was a fragment of an evil soul or something. And since then my scar has been healing up.” I stated, I had checked when on Earth and sure enough, the jagged line had faded heavily. “You’re saying you were a Horcrux, but the soul of a pony freed you from that soul fragment?” He asked and I blinked, that was a rather specific term. “If that is what they’re called? Princess Luna said that I had been, basically, turned into a “Type of Soul Jar” or something, but because the containment was so badly made and eroded by my magic she was able to break the containment and push it out.” I explained and the Goblin nodded, frowning. “A accidental Horcrux then. I suspect that may have been from that Dark Lord then. Quite troubling that a fragment of his soul could lodge itself into you.” He admitted, then his eyes widened. “Tell me, can you detect something like that when you see it?” He asked and I blinked, not expecting that. “I- I think so? My Pip-Buck may react to it at least since it would be Necromantic magic right? Like Radiation in the Wasteland?” I suggested and got a wide eyed stare for that. “You can detect Necromantic magic, as in, the darkest forms of magic?” He asked and I blinked, then had to remember that Geiger Counters on Earth weren’t calibrated like that. “Actually, it’s a somewhat common spell back home.” Spoke up Lyra and drew our attention to her. “It was developed during the war with Zebrika after the Zebra started using Balefire weapons, which would always leave behind a residue of sorts which released harmful energy that could kill you. The Pip-Buck we all have has an integrated spell matrix to do so automatically.” Explained Lyra and the Goblin stared at us for several seconds, then he grinned with a greedy glint in his eyes. “Well now, how many do you have left over?” He asked and somehow? Somehow I felt like we just walked into a minefield of trade deals. “We can produce more, they’re Pip-Buck 3000 models which isn’t the most advanced version out there, but we don’t have any of those.” I explained in return and the Goblin nodded. “So, you want them? Why?” I asked, cocking my head to the side as I wondered where they could use those. “Necromantic magic is one of the most common elements in cursed traps. If we can detect them ahead of time, then we can much more easily break these curses and have less risk for our employees. You wouldn’t believe how much trouble it is when your Curse Breaker gets trapped by a cat statue, unable to move away and ultimately turning into another copy of it because some smartass decided to remove it’s partner.” He stated and I… honestly? That sounded kind of crazy. “Please tell me there aren’t any where Bill Weasley works?” I asked, quite nervous at the prospect of those. “Oh, yeah we’re pretty sure we got all of them, Had to hand it to that Muggle secret service that handles the paranormal, Something Creepy Follows or something.” He stated and I had to wonder what sort of agency was named that, or tasked with stuff like this. Also, the abreviation of SCP Bureau or something sounded weird. SCP Foundation would probably work but still… “Well, I know where we store the spare ones, we kind of trade in them and other goods professor Flitwick can clone with charms.” I admitted, scratching my cheek in a kind of nervous tick I had developed. It was also quite odd to have hands again even if it was only temporary. “Well, now we have a trade deal potential but still not much compensation for you basically dumping tens thousands of Galleons on us. This is more money than some of the richest families have.” Stated Crooked Tooth, sounding quite severe there. Then he looked at what I was wearing for a moment. “Say, I remember hearing that the world Hogwarts was put in, while inhabited by technicolor horses, was quite dangerous. What sort of protections do you students have?” He asked and I blinked, a bit taken aback by this but I realized what he was implying. “It depends on the student, by standard everyone’s school uniforms are enchanted with medium shield enchantments, Anti-Radiation shielding and Anti-Kinetic shielding in other words, and light weight leather for physical armor. And everyone is kind of free to wear other armor too, I have some Enclave Mark 3 Power Armor I got modified for my horn.” I explained, tapping the offending piece of… I think it was made of either Keratin or was a bone growth. No idea honestly, we didn’t do X-Ray tests. “Well, that sounds interesting. I believe I have an idea on how to do this now. Anything else you want to do with the money?” He asked, he was… well I don’t think a lot of people have ever seen a content and happy Goblin in their lives. Much less one who was happy about them. “Well… Could you put 20 of my 25 percent into the Weasley family vault? As an anonymous donation? I just… I’ve seen what Rainy had been using before all this, and she’s been having a hard time before the transformation because even her wand was a hand-me-down that barely obeyed her.” I explained and the Goblin nodded, writing something down in his notes. “Very well, I will forward this to your accountant once the legal battle is over. I wish your other case were this quick to work out.” He commented and I nodded, my mood souring at the amount of red tape thrown at me for the investigation of Sirius Black’s case. To be honest, I was starting to think that the ministry was stonewalling me to avoid admitting their past mistakes. This just put me on edge even more and gave me a quite bitter taste in my mouth. Here I was trying to figure out if there was an innocent man behind bars, after already all but proving that Rubeus Hagrid was innocent of Myrtle’s murder. And yet, I was being held back from doing so because of some stupid fear over whether or not the ministry would look bad. I hated politics. I wasn’t a politician, but I already hated politics with the raging heat of Celestia’s Solarflaring Mareheat. Only a billion times hotter than that. … What? I spend most of my free time around the schoolgrounds or talking with Applejack’s Rangers at their base. My moms had already given up on my vocabulary as is. Though I swear, it’s the Dursley’s fault, I think getting thrown here unlocked something they had suppressed within me or something. That is assuming I was a potty mouth by nature. Which I wouldn’t be surprised by at all. ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~ “And that’s why my latest nightmare was a older looking Ron being turned into a cat statue by a cat statue.” I concluded my explanation to Princess Luna as she had come in to this nightmare, looking somewhat befuddled about the change of scenery. “I admit, this is the oddest thing I’ve seen yet. And you say they’re contained by some government agency?” Asked Luna, shaking her head at the memory of that strange scene. I was sure the statues didn’t look anything like the ones I had imagined naturally. “That’s what mister Crooked Tooth said. He did mention it’s international though.” I responded, still puzzled about it. Naturally, the idea of Bill Weasley, the older brother to one of my best friends, being subject to such a fate… yeah, I was justified to be afraid. At least it wasn’t the guilt this time around. Ah, you may be asking when this all takes place, to answer that question, on Wednesday, after the final class of the day, I had been taken to Diagon Alley by Lyra and Bon-Bon to discuss my lawsuit with my lawyer. It still was the first week of the school year, by the way, my second class on Arithmancy had been today. Anyway, we returned afterward to Hogwarts before heading through the mirror to the Ponevac MAS hub to inform Master Scribe Raging Flame about the request for negotiations from the Sovereign Goblin Nation of Earth. Apparently they had unified the various tribes running the banks in 1842 without anyone noticing. I had gotten a good laugh out of that. So, now that we’re up to speed, I’m sleeping. And having nightmares. And having lessons with Luna. As I had no nightmares yesterday she hadn’t come to visit me there so I could have a calm sleep, so I was basically retelling my past two days. “Well, I am glad that the situations with overlapping classes has been solved for you Rose. And I believe it is a good idea to start of as basic as they did with Ancient Runes as Artifact Crafting appears the same as Talisman Scribing.” Stated Luna and I nodded, I could tell as much from my lessons on the latter already, though I still hadn’t learned how to do more advanced Artifact Crafting. “I hope I can get good at those two subjects, maybe we can figure out how to use them with Equestrian Enchanting to do something even better.” I stated, smiling at the older Alicorn who chuckled, smiling too. “That is quite a goal and I’d love to see you succeed. I wish we could communicate with my sister though, Celestia was a lot better at this kind of activity.” She explained and I nodded, I knew her feelings on the matter, but I couldn’t just get to the SPP Tower in Neighvarro to visit Celestia, and even if I could, Luna was in my head so… “I’m sorry we can’t visit her it’s… I don’t know how I’d even begin trying to get to her.” I admitted. I knew where she was, or her mind and soul anyway. That was also where Littlepip, the Stable Dweller, was at the moment, sleeping in a Stasis Pod or living within the SPP tower, managing the weather and keeping the princess company. If I was honest, my position as host to the other princess was a lot better. A lot less stressful too if I was being honest. “It’s alright Rose, I am just glad to know that she isn’t alone anymore and maybe, someone may be able to make a new body for both of us.” She stated and I smiled, she was right after all. If nothing else, the Institute was a thing, they and their Synths may be the clue we needed for that. And if all else fails? I ask Professor Dumbledore if he can contact Nicholas Flamel, if he was still alive, and ask if he could use Alchemy to make a Homunculus or something for them to inhabit. Worse comes to worse I give him my DNA if he needs a Alicorn sample or something. I was just hoping the best Alchemist known to mankind could do it. As I was about to respond to her however the dreamscape shook. “Oh my, it appears you are being moved Rose. I can’t say for certain but it seems you’re being abducted.” Stated Luna and I blinked, surprised to hear that. “You should wake up, and see if anything happens.” She stated and I nodded after a moment of contemplation before my vision become blinded by light. Waking up was always weird. ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~ Coming to I found myself bound by ropes, and slung over the back of something black, chitinous and pony-shaped. “Tzk, woken up have you now little princess? Well I don’t care. Your magic won’t help you now.” Stated my captor and turning I saw the back of a black, hairless head with insect wings in front before me, it appeared he was carrying me. “What in the- who the hell are you? Or, what are you?” I asked, weirded out by the fact that this creature was abducting me. Also… “And why do you call me princess?” I asked, definitely weirded out by this… thing. What was that anyway? “Tzk, you talk too much. I suppose someone from another world wouldn’t be educated enough, I am a Changeling, a species that existed before the war. And I’m taking you to my employers for them to use you. Not like I care what they will do to you, I get my payment, they get to experiment on some brat. Win Win in my books.” Stated the Changeling and I realized that, among all the possible factions he could be working for, there was one which was quite obviously the only one who would abduct me. “You work for those Institute Buckers?” I asked angrily and he snorted in response, as if dismissing me. “I’m a mercenary brat, I don’t care what my cargo thinks about who I work for, and don’t think you’ll be able to use your stupid magic on me, I have a Talisman that reflects any magic you could try and I have bound your wings. You won’t be able to escape me.” He proclaimed and I had to wonder if he was really that arrogant. He didn’t bother removing my Saddlebags, my Bardings, and neither did he remove my Time Turner. “You didn’t go through my stuff, did you?” I asked, I had gotten into a bit of a bad habit to keep them on in case of, well emergencies. It had started while I was traveling with the others to the few places we had gone. “You wish, I wanted to but those stupid bags wouldn’t open. So I’m just taking them along for the eggheads to get open. Not like a subject to experiments will have much use of anything.” He stated, and I was getting the impression that he wasn’t joking with how callous he was. “Heh, mistake there. As soon as we land you’ll lose me, I guarantee that.” I responded with full confidence, knowing my Time Turner would allow me to jump backward in time without him as I was wearing it, unlike him. “Man you’re dumber than those damn princesses of you ponies, teleportation won’t help you, you would just take me along and that won’t’ work.” He responded and I had to wonder if he was so blind or something. “Oh I guarantee you I’ll be fine. Seriously you don’t have a clue what people in my universe are capable of.” I retorted, almost giddy at the idea of trouncing this asshole with ease. “As if, there is nothing you can do to me and you wouldn’t be able to draw anything from those accursed bags.” Retorted the Changeling, sounding annoyed. “It’s not in my Saddlebags, though you wouldn’t survive what’s in there anyway.” I responded getting a growl from him. “Hey, look on the bright side, there are worse things than being mocked by a filly you think is helpless. I could be telling Yo Mama Jokes. You wouldn’t believe how many I’ve been fighting to tell to my cousin Dudley. Ten years living with his parents and I’d be dead if I had said a single one of them.” I continued, almost giddy at the prospect of using those. I mean, I couldn’t use them on Malfoy anymore, his mom was apparently my aunt AND was fairly friendly too! “Seriously, Yo Mama Jokes? You know what? I’m bored, fire away you little cunt while I get that damn pick-up location figured out.” He responded and I had to wonder if he thought about the fact that I was from another world. I had a lot more references to throw around. “Okay. Yo Mama is so fat, the sun uses her as a waypoint in the sky.” Misflap there, he hadn’t heard that one it seemed. “You’re a miracle, you know that? I have no idea how your dad could impregnate a Feral Ghoul like Yo Mama.” I continued and eeped when he dropped a foot there. “What did you call my queen?!” He shouted at me, and apparently Changelings live like bees if he had a queen for a mom. “I said, Yo Mama is so Ugly, she must’ve been a Feral Ghoul. I mean, look at you, Miss Ditzy Doo looks right as rain by comparison.” Now he was glowering at me in anger but hey, he challenged me to a Yo Mama contest. “You know what? Yo Mama is so dumb, she had a kid with a dumpster!” I blinked at him for a moment. “Are you targeting my birth mom? I’m kind of an Orphan on that and she was top of her class.” I responded, not even remotely perturbed which made him lose a flap. “Anyway, Yo Mama is so FAT, when she hit the Afterlife, Princess Luna got ejected into my brain.” Another five feet we dropped at that, fast ball special I’d say there but I’m not an expert on non-Quidditch sports. But hey! It’s fun to watch him squirm. “Okay, what the hell?” He asked completely befuddled and I could tell why, the Yo Mama Joke was a weirdly specific and very weird one, especially with who else was involved without any prompting or reason. It was the definition of a non-sequitor. “Yo Mama’s so dumb, your combined IQ is in the negative.” I just kept going, ignoring his indignant squawks as I unloaded on him. “Yo Mama’s so old, she babysat Princess Celestia. Yo Mama’s so short, Brock caught her thinking she was a Geodude.” I continued on, I could feel the Changeling trying to figure out what the hell I was calling his mother. “By the way, Frankenstein called about Yo Mama, he wants his monster back so he can try and make her more attractive than a Feral Ghoul who was left in a tanning stall for five hours.” I continued and he still didn’t get it, I could tell. “You know what? Fuck it! I can get another!” He growled, landing and bucking me off. As he went to get his gun, he had unicorn-like magic it seemed, I set up my Time Turner to one hour. “Any last words you Chrysalis damned brat?” He asked, aiming at me as I stood up. “Yeah, Time Travel’s a Bitch.” I responded and triggered the Time Turner, time rewinding before he could fire and depositing me an hour earlier in time. Now, where was I on the map anyway? ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd Pony POV – Kellog ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ “What in the-?” Kellog stared at the spot where the filly had vanished, he had seen her casting a spell but it wasn’t happening anything before she vanished. It would’ve taken far longer for her to teleport if she even could and it wasn’t so much invisibility as it was vanishing, he had heard the pop of the air rushing back into where she had been. Searching the area awarded him nothing and the realization hit him like a brickhouse. “The little bitch tricked me. She seriously just fucked around with me to get me to land early.” He muttered, if nothing else he had to give her points for performance. And imagination because good lord, he had no idea what half of the references were. And he never heard even one of those Yo Mama Jokes, he needed to memorize those for later use. Then he stopped. “Am I taking roasting notes from a preteen filly? Great, this is a new low.” He muttered shaking his head before heading out. He may be able to make it back to that castle and snatch a different one. ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ Kellog’s eye twitched as he stared at the sign in front of the closed off shield. [I told you, Time Travel’s a Bitch. I got back way before you and told the headmistress about this. Also, chances are you should start running. Fluffy is on guard duty.] “Who the hell is fluffy?” He asked confused before he felt something wet land on his head. Looking up, his eyes dilated, his ears fell backward and his wings went limp. “Oh, that’s Fluffy.” He muttered, then started running, a 2 ton, three-headed, ground-to-head 4 meters tall dog chasing him, barking, growling and howling all at the same time with a tag reading “Magic Reprisal Artifact” on a collar around the middle head. The Institute would receive news of him deciding to drop the Alicorn abduction job the next day while they were treating him for near amputation of his hind legs and a huge bite wound in his ass. Not to mention the large chunk bitten out of his tail. Kellog regreted a lot that day. ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ Omake Time! Takes Place during Breakfast of Wednesday, Rose POV, 1st Pony View ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ Title: Marriage Law Rejection Letters AU Part 2! ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ I sighed as I sat down for breakfast. It had been relatively peaceful so far, not even nightmares last night and no crazy stuff had happened while I was on the way to Breakfast. Maybe I would have a week that resembled the one other students had. Yeah, pipe dream I know. As proven by a mail owl flying in, looking singed as if she had been in a fight with a dragon or something and she dropped dead on the table. “Oh my god!” Exclaimed several students as the teachers rushed over to look at the bird. “It looks consistent with tissue damage from Radiation, I think this owl got attacked by some irradiated animal before reaching here.” Stated Professor Dumbledore with a frown as she examined the bird. “Also, miss Rose? There is another letter for you.” She stated and I sighed before using Locomotor on the letter and floating it over to open it. Reading over the letter just revealed what I feared. “These weird alternate-timeline ministry people don’t believe me. And they say someone will teleport in a minute after I have touched it to arrest me for resisting.” I stated, feeling disgusted at the sheer amount of presumption this letter held. “Well, I believe we can safely say that they’re not going to give up easily, so why not send it back? We have figured out the way that Portkey was working.” Stated Dumbledore and I nodded before starting my own response letter, the professor was also putting before me the official letter from Minister Fudge. ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ To whoever has to read and then report this… I am once again responding to this to inform you that no, I am still neither capable, available, nor eligible for your law. I am also neither a citizen of your ministry, of the right age or the right species. I have been informed by both my Lawyer, one mister Crooked Tooth of Gringott’s Bank, that your “Law” is breaking so many ICW agreements and laws that anyone can declare a war on you over this and have their backing. Included with this letter will be a chastisement from our timeline’s Minister of Magic from Brittain, as well as an official warning from the President of the New Canterlot Republic, to which Hogwarts has joined I may add as part of their nation, Velvet Remedy. Please be reasonable and take this seriously, because I alone outgun you heavily and it doesn’t appear that your connection to us is within the barriers of Hogwarts. Be also aware that while your previous owl had survived the ordeal, the one you sent this time died after being attacked by a predator of the Wasteland, which I was informed may be a Rad-Phoenix, a mutated phoenix that had become fused with Balefire and is therefore extremely radioactive and predatory. Please don’t risk any more owls and do not risk your Aurors on a fool’s errand. They won’t make it into Hogwarts, they’d be lucky if they made it to the outer bounds of the school. Also, I am still physically only 8-9 years old, am a girl, a pony, can’t turn back into a human, and I was never a part of your timeline. I don’t care if you think I must do “My Duty™” because I don’t have a duty to your world, especially since I can’t do what you demand in the first place. And even if I was a colt, I’d have a dick so big, any human I’d try it with would probably die. I had sex-ed before going to Hogwarts, in Muggle school. Shows you who is more well prepared for this. I implore you to stop this madness before somebody dies because of your negligence and obsession with enforcing this useless law before you start biting off more than you can hope to chew, even if your entire population were to come here for war. The NCR is a post-apocalyptic government, and we still have a military larger than your population which I have been told, was around 1000 including Muggle-born as of our current year of 1992. And if you’re still so desperate, your population is likely far lower than this. In hopes of never hearing from you again. Rose Evans-Heartstrings Formerly Harry Potter This isn’t the Potter you’re Looking For Ask a Muggle-Born for the reference. PS: I have a Minigun, and there is nothing mini about that thing. It’s normally mounted on vehicles. I have telekinesis for that. And it fires armor-piercing rounds meant to kill modern tanks. Don’t even try testing me. ~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~ With my letter finished I folded it and put it in the offered envelope before a spell was cast by professor Dumbledore and the letters vanished after touching each other. Hopefully this would work.