//------------------------------// // 5: Perplexing Pastel Ponies // Story: Space Engineers: Starship Unknown // by Stalin with Da Spoon //------------------------------// "Ok, so let me get this straight Castle... You spotted these ponies in this bush, and they began talking to you?" Captain Jack said as he eyed Castle from behind his helmet. "Yes Captain." Castle said as he nodded slowly. "Are you high?" "No Captain, I stashed my weed back at base behind the plant pot in the lobby." "I didn't mean- Ugh! Move please." "You got it." Castle politely moved out of Captain Jack's way as he walked up to the smiling purple unicorn in front of him. "You sure it ain't a hologram?" "No sir, haven't tested it." Captain Jack proceeded to turn to Craz. "Craz, pet the unicorn- Or wait, it's got wings so... It's an alicorn I think. Whatever, just pet it." "Why me?" "Because your good at petting things." With a groan, Craz slowly walked over to Twilight, who appeared very confused, as he slowly lifted his hand towards her head and placed it atop it, which Twilight at first attempted to pull away from, but when the scratching and petting started, she closed her eyes and began to enjoy it, letting out a whinny of happiness. "Yeah, it's real. And it feels nice." Craz said as he continued to give the pony the pets. "Craz, you can stop scratching it now." "Make me." Captain Jack would proceed to pull out his pistol and stick it to the back of Craz's head. "Your no fun." Craz said as he withdrew his hand from the ponies head, much to Twilight's dismay. "We didn't come out here to pet unicorns, we came out here to get answers." "And pet unicorns." "Craz, I swear to the almighty Clang I will shoot you dead right here and now." The ponies all audibly gasped at the statement, as Jack realized they were unaware of the fact that the Medbay had regeneration capabilities. "Probably should've said that better." Reed, being the voice of reason, decided to speak up. "Captain, I believe it is best we get away from these... Ponies, and meet back up inside the bridge." "Yes, it would be for the best. Castle, Finn, you keep the ponies busy." "Why us?" "Because you were the first to meet them, now go. Craz, Reed, with me." The Captain and co then proceeded to rush back to the ship, as Castle and Finn turned to the confused ponies. "Where are your friends going?" Pinkie asked as she turned her head. "Uhh... There going to uh... Have a very important meeting that you guys can't go to." "Why not?" "Because uh... Your aliens." "And why is that bad?" "Because we've never met aliens before... Mostly." "Oh, ok!" Confused by the pink pony accepting his logic so quickly, Castle then turned to Twilight, who appeared just as confused as he did. "So uh... Do you guys like salvage?" "What's salvage?" "Allow me to explain..." As the Venator warped into the orbit of the planet with the light of the sun gleaming off it's white paint, the pulsating blue light of the jump core ceasing as it began beeping, it's frame cracking as it's electronics sparked and burst into flames. "Shit, cores about to go critical! TIUS, eject now!" The beeping became louder as the core became more unstable, with bolts of electricity shooting and zapping the hull of the venator leaving small burn marks, before the cables holding it to the ship snapped and let it loose, letting the sparking core drift off into the void before exploding in a burst of blue light. The crew all let out a sight of relief. "Phew... Well, least we know it worked." "Yeah, but it almost blew us to high hell!" "Well, the key word there being almost, because we survived." "Ah sod off doctor." Captain Shack and Commander Wasted both looked out of their cockpit windows with looks of confusion behind their helmets. "Ok what the hell?" "What is it, Captain?" Morphologis asked as he appeared in the camera screen for the rear compartment of the ship. "The sun and moon are both orbiting this damn planet!" "WHAT THE HELL!?! That defies all scientific laws! Well, least it ain't bob, got tired of waking up on that desolate rock every day. Least this planet is more exciting." "Agreed, now get to tracking that signal, Morph." Morphologis nodded and his screen shut off before Wasted spoke. "Captain, we may have a problem..." "What is it, Wasted?" "Unknown vessel just showed up on radar, and were receiving a message from it." "Understood, send it through. Finally about time we got to talk to someone. TIUS, patch it through." As Captain Shack proceeded to answer the message, he came face to face with another engineer. "Greetings unknown vessel, this is the freelance exploration ship 'Last Stand', names Aaron, what can I do for ya?" "This is Captain Shack of the former USS Constitution, member of the Federation Navy. We detected a distress signal after we escaped from our isolation on an unknown world, and have come to investigate. Are you the source of the signal?" "Negative captain, in fact were here for the same signal I believe. Me and my crew came out here to see if we could help, seeing as we were already nearby on a simple scouting mission. How about we investigate the signal together?" "Sounds like a plan, we'll meet up with your vessel and make our way to the origin of the signal." As the signal cut out, the Venator ignited it's engines and sped forward through the darkness, until the light of the nearby sun shined upon the large purple hive ship came into view, leaving the crew of the Venator in astonishment at the design before Aaron linked back onto comms. "Ain't she a beaut Captain? Finest DRF hive ship in the galaxy. Well, former DRF anyways." "I'll say... I've never seen any kind of ship like this before... It's as big as the Constitution was! And excuse me for asking, but what's the DRF?" "Oh, you must've been isolated for a long time, but it stands, or used to stand for, Drone Reactionary Force. Me and my boys were part of them for a bit, fought with RWI for a while." "Wait... Drones? Nevermind... Anyways, are you talking about Redwood Industries? Those militant industrial separatists?" "Yep, that's them. Pretty fine chaps honestly, knew this Captain Jack fellow that's their Rear-Admiral now, actually fought with him once. Though now with the DRF gone, we just took the ship for ourselves and decided to make our own buisness." "Right... Anyways, were coming up on the signal now... And I'm seeing lots of debris." Suddenly, a voice was overheard on Aaron's end of the link. "Aaron, we got unknown contacts on radar!" "Got it, Conrod. Captain, I advise you ready yourself, cause I think were about to get swarmed." "He's right Captain, hostiles are appearing on our radar from all around!" "Damn it, I just built this ship! Defensive maneaveurs!" The Venator quickly powered up it's weapons as it quickly altered it's course to aim at the approaching enemy fighters, with Morpholigis quickly taking control of the top mounted turret and locking on. "Take this, you bastards!" The Venator fired it's rocket launchers and auto cannons at the enemy, hitting and shredding through a couple fighters before peeling off and taking evasive maneuvers. Meanwhile on Aaron's ship, the crew ran to battle stations, taking manual control of the turrets and firing at the enemy fighters from all sides while the front hangar door opened and a swarm of combat drones swarmed out, though they proved inneffective as they were gunned down while the ships weapons did little damage, as the open hangar door left the ship exposed to a fighter commecning a kamikaze attack and barely managing to ram itself inside before the door sealed. The fighter skidded across the hangar floor, the floor collapsing beneath it as it fell down to a lower level before exploding and bursting into flames as emergency sprinklers activated while the crew moved to repair any damage. "We ain't cut out for this kind of fighting!" "I know, Finchy, were gonna have to land!" "Aaron, you get your ship and crew down to the planet's surface, we'll cover your ass and keep these guys off you. If we can't link back up with you, it's been a pleasure to meet you." "Thanks Shack, your a good man for a fed." "No prob- Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" The comms link terminated as the damaged Hive ship slowly descended to the planet's surface, as the Venator turned to face the oncoming horde. "Come at us, ya grey bandits! OORAH!" The Venator charged forward towards the hostile fighters, ready to fight to the death, or at least until they ran out of ammo. However, the fighters made a rapid u-turn around and fled back towards the asteroid field, soon vanishing behind the asteroids, much to the confusion of the Constitutions former crew. "Hey, where are they going?" "Why did they just run away like that?" "Got no damn clue... Maybe they're guarding the source of the signal... Or heck, may just be pirates setting up a trap for random passersby." Captain Shack turned back to Commander Wasted, who simply shrugged. "Welp, guess it's time we follow our new freelance friends down to earth. Or whatever this planet is." The Venator rapidly turned around and boosted at high speeds, following the DRF hive ship into the planet's atmosphere. "Here we go again, boys!" Jumping in from a nearby star system, a small orange and grey spacecraft orbited the planets surface, as two engineers sat in the cockpit of the craft and chatted with each other as they viewed their respective screens. "So Splitsie, you sayin we got a new job?" "That's right Capac, got told this planet has a bunch of untapped resources on it, so were here to extract them and sell them for the big bucks." "Is that all you ever care about, money?" "Yes." "Understandable."