A/N Re-edited because I noticed a continuity error in the chapter, where Rarity is making the tuxes and I didn't imply she and Fluttershy didn't know about the wedding. Also some stuff about Soundwave is mention all last part of the first section.
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Humiliation, degradation, frustration, and an immense need to kill the marshmallow of a equine fitting me for a tuxedo. I felt all of these as I was forced by Shockwave's supervisor, Twilight Sparkle, to stand for hours on end while her friend, Rarity, fitted me for a tux. It wasn't the fact that I had to do it, I've had more then enough practice standing still in plain sight, no the problem was is she wouldn't silence her vocal emitters.
"Is it too tight?"
"It's fine."
"You're sure? Do you like the color, because I do."
"It's fine."
"Do you want it to be longer to cover your, dare I say, rather intimidating cutie mark?"
"It's fine."
She kept asking more and more questions about the vest as she fitted me. She already finished up Shockwave, Rumble, Frenzy, and Blaster. I was the last one she got to deal with before Grimlock, but at this point I was conflicted to either feel bad for her or him.
Finally a ray of hope scampered into the room in the form of a white filly
"Rarity!" she shouted as she came rushing into the room
"Not now Sweetie Bell I'm working."
"I was just going to ask if me and my friends could go play now."
She sighed "Yes you can go play with your little crusader friends."
"What about Rumble and Frenzy?" she asked, making me tilt my head in confusion.
"That's not up to me dear, it's up to Soundwave." she said as she motioned to me.
Sweetie Bell got in front of me and looked up at me "Mr. Soundwave, can Rumble and Frenzy come play with us?"
I shrugged "I don't care at this point..." I said annoyed. Sweetie Bell smiled wide as she ran down the stairs shouting 'They said yes guys!' followed by a set of cheers and hooves running outside. Once again leaving me alone with the non-stop ramblings of the fashion designer.
"So tell me darling, why do you and your friends need these outfits?" she asked
"Does it matter?" I replied annoyed at her ramblings
"Well I'm just wondering, most ponies in Ponyville prefer to stay in the nude, and I'm not really aware of anything big amonst the Canterlot Elite."
"It's for a wedding, now will you hurry up, I need to return to my work."
She let out a scoff as she continued her work in silence, praise Primus. After the last leg of the greuling ordeal I payed my fee and went back to the workshop where I continued my work on a special project I had begun since I landed on this planet
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"Please sing for me Laserbeak, I've always wanted to hear a phoenix sing ever since I met Philomena" The pale yellow pegasus asked pleadingly. I simply shook my head, not wanted to take part in any sort of acts
"Pleeeeeease....." she pleaded again
"Yeah Laserbeak, let's hear you sing" A lazy voice said across the room.
"Ravage I will end you..."
He laughed, only in a way I could hear, but nonetheless he laughed.
"Now now Ravage, it's rude to laugh at others" Fluttershy said in a motherly tone.
"How did you even hear him?"
She went from somewhat stern to terrified again "Oh it's my...um...special talent..."
I cocked an eyebrow "You're special talent is understanding animals?"
She nodded "If umm that's okay."
I glared at Ravage "One moment I need to talk with my 'friend" I flew over to Ravage,grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him outside. He whined the entire time about my talons but I ignored him.
"Ow you peice of-"
"Why didn't you tell me she could understand us scrap for brains!"I shouted interrupting him.
"I didn't think she could! I just thought she was just a really good guesser!"
"What do you mean by that?" My eyes widened in realization "She knows doesn't she..."
His eyes drifted away from mine "Well...I may have let the fact we're from a different planet...slip"
My eye twitched with anger"Slip? Slip! You don't let information like that just slip! Damn it your part of the best espionage squadron the Decepticons had to offer and you let information like that 'slip!" I was fuming by this point until we heard a soft 'excuse me' come form behind us. We turned to see Fluttershy standing there looking guilty
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to find out that you two and your friends aren't from...around here." she said twirling her hoof on the ground and hiding behind her mane
"You tell anyone who we are and you're in for some serious trouble, got it? I said sternly, making her retreat back a little.
"Ya know Laserbeak," Ravage began, getting my attention "I think she'd be more inclined to keep out secret if you...cooperated with her
"What in Cybertron does that mean?" I asked skeptically
"Well it's like you said, we're the best at espionage, blending in, imagine if ponies find out that Fluttershy, whom by the way from what she's told me is quite well known, couldn't get her bird to sing. Her ability to tame the most wild of beasts is near legendary, so imagine when ponies find out there's one she can't tame. Some may blame her sure, but others will look to the beast, and think 'what sort of bird doesn't sing', or 'who can resist Fluttershy?' Ponies will start getting suspicious?" he finished his monologue with a fiendish grin.
I looked between him and Fluttershy for a moment and hung my head with defeat "Tell the others and I swear by Primus you'll wish you were never created."
He smiled again "C'mon Tweety, let's hear that song!"
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"Blaster!" I called out inside of the bakery where he took up his residence.
"What 'cha want Shockwave?!"
"Get down here now!"
After a moment he came down muttering under his breath "'Cha want man? Me and Pinkie are brainstormin' some sick new party ideas"
"You're planning for you're meaning less recreational ceremony activity can wait, I need to contact Cybertron."
"What? Why?"
"Because I spent the last few weeks actually doing research about this planet, and predicting Starscream's next move."
"Alright...but why do ya need to call command?"
"I never said command..." I corrected him.
Before he could say anything I hit him with an EMP to knock him out, even while unconscious he could still provide the technology required to make the call I needed. I dragged him out of the shop and into the back where nothing could spot us. I accessed his control panel and begin to set in the commands for him to activate his long range transmitter. However I knew that if anything were to happen to him an emergency signal would activate, so I acted quick and called command first, hacking his audio projectors.
"Blaster, come in do you read?"
"Loud and clear baby." I said in Blaster's voice.
"We picked up your distress signal is everything alright"
"Yeah man everything's cool, but we're gonna need some help down here, Starscream's on the loose and Shockwave informed me he may be gettin' some help."
"Rodger that Blaster, what is you're request."
"Uhh...send down Jazz and Tracks man."
I could almost hear the Autobot rolling his optics "Of course Blaster, cuz you and those two are such a responsible group when your together."
I forced a laugh "You know me."
"Alright then they'll be down in a few cycles, why don't ya send up the info on your disguise so they can land stealthy."
"You got it man." I forwarded the information to him
"Your processor on the fritz Blaster? These look like-"
"I know man, just roll with it..."
"Whatever, Command out."
I sighed in relief and continued hacking Blaster's long range coms. After a few moments I finally got it set to my personal secure network.
"Come in, do you read me?" I said calmly through what was mostly static
"Shockwave?" shrill voice answered back "What is this..this...this"
"Quiet...I'm sending you three coordinates and data for you're disguises, I want you here with in the next few cycles" I said sternly
"Of course Shockwave, be there soon...soon...soon!" the voice on the other end crackled with glee
"Shockwave out." I closed the channel and began dragging Blaster back into the shop. I began work on wiping his memory core and replacing it with my own data to make him think he had actually called for reinforcements, little would he know, I called for my own as well...