//------------------------------//
// Chapter Twelve 
// Story: Lasting Memories 
// by Boopy Doopy 
//------------------------------//

“Wow! They have all sorts of information in this book!” Charley said excitedly as he poured over the textbook in front of him. Thunderlane smiled and watched him do so, but didn’t interfere, letting Charley talk as he read.
“They have estimated masses and diameters and say whether each moon is in hydrostatic equilibrium and all sorts of things! This is much more comprehensive than I was expecting!”
“Oh? Is it?” Thunderlane asked, taking the opportunity to engage him. “What kinds of information is in that book? And what does hydrostatic equableness mean?”
“Hydrostatic equilibrium means that a planet or moon is not only rounded by gravity but also properly differentiated internally. So something like Iapetus wouldn’t be… well, I guess you don’t know what that would be here. But differentiation means that heavier elements typically sink and lighter elements typically rise internally in a planet. Kind of like how if you shake up a bottle of dressing, the oil will eventually move to float on water. That’s the bottle of dressing differentiating.”
“Oh, I see,” the stallion smiled politely, not really understanding but enjoying the happy look on his face. “So what about…”
The conversation went on, Charley eager to explain things to Thunderlane and Thunderlane content to sit and listen happily. Charley knew he was just letting him go on for his sake, but he enjoyed it anyway. It was a nice time, and even though he knew he was falling even more in love with the stallion, he let it happen anyway. Tomorrow would be the last day he’d be here anyway. He could enjoy today for what it was worth and be confident in the fact that Thunderlane wouldn’t push him to stay.
“Do you think they have satellites and stuff here? Or probes? Or better yet: do ponies walk on other planets yet? It would be so cool if I could see pictures of these places and stuff. Or is everything done by hand? Err, hoof?”
Thunderlane shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I don’t know about all this stuff like you do. You’d have to ask Princess Luna about that if you ever got the chance.”
“Oh. Well, I won’t be able to ever do that… but this is a lot of information just right here. Being able to see a simulation of the orbital dynamics of this solar system would be interesting. I wonder if they have anything else like that here.”
“I’m sure they do. This place is gigantic and has everything you could think of. But before that, how about some lunch, sweetie? Since it’s almost two o’clock?”
“You, um, you– d-don’t call me sweetie,’ Charley stammered out, face bright red. “I’m not a sweetie, plus, that’s the same as calling me a mare, because I know what you mean.”
It was the same as being called a mare, that Charley knew just by the fact that he enjoyed hearing it and got a little surge of euphoria because of it.
“Sorry. You're right, I won't do that. But anyway, let’s go get some lunch.”
“Is there anything we can grab nearby and bring here so I can keep reading?” he asked. “I don’t wanna leave and then have someone else take the book I’m reading.”
“Haha, I promise, no one’s gonna steal your book, but sure. We can find some takeout or something.”
They left with that, not taking long to come back with a hoofful of concessions from a stand outside of the library. Thunderlane continued to smile and engage him, and he happily talked on until it was time to leave because the library was closing. The two walked out together, the stallion carefully bringing him down from the library, and the two settled on the clouds below. Charley took off Thunderlane’s jacket when they got down and stretched out his wings.
“Ugh, finally,” he said with a bit of relief in his voice. “Your jacket is nice, but keeping my wings in that thing is not fun.”
“Y-yeah, but, you’re w-wings still aren’t p-p-preened,” Thunderlane blushed. “You shouldn’t be out in public like this. You're completely ungroomed.”
“I don’t see how…” He stopped short when he looked around, practically everypony who saw him blushing and hurrying away, like he was completely exposed. Having ungroomed wings really did matter. More than being naked all the time apparently. 
“Okay, maybe I’ll take the jacket back,” he said, hurriedly putting it back on. “But I really don’t know how to groom these things. I’m serious. And I want to fly around tonight since I leave tomorrow.”
“I- I’ll show you when we get back to my house, alright?” the stallion said quickly. “I-if you’re… okay with that…” He looked like he wanted to absolutely drop dead from embarrassment. 
“Yes, I’m okay with that. I really don’t see the big deal though, but I guess if I have to be preened to fly around, why not?”
It was only a few minutes before they were back home and Charley was throwing off the jacket again, exposing his wings as he took a seat on the couch. Thunderlane was still blushing just as intently as he was before, staring down at him as Charley looked the stallion in the eyes.
“U-um…”
“What?” he asked seriously. “You said you were gonna teach me how to do this.”
“Y-yeah, but not in the living room. What if Rumble walks in?”
“How is this such a big deal?” Charley asked, now blushing a little himself. “You’re making it out like we’re about to have sex or something! I just want my wings groomed so you can stop acting weird about it and everyone stops looking at me!”
“Okay, but let’s go to my room, at least? I don’t want my brother to see me if he walks in.”
Charley groaned at that, but gave in, heading into the stallions bedroom. He was directed to sit on the bed, and afterwards waited while he watched Thunderlane pace around. He tilted his head in confusion, not knowing what was up.
Well, I guess I do know what’s up a little bit, but… how is wing grooming something that’s supposed to be intimate? We showered together, and he made not so much as a peep, but wing grooming and he’s all nervous?
The idea that this was something that could lead to something more adult from there made him nervous. That was the very last thing he wanted to have happen. Well… at least, he knew it shouldn’t happen, and would make sure it didn’t if things led that way. But with the way Thunderlane was acting, he was fearful it might.
The pegasus could see the look on his face and spoke up. “I-if you just, like, wanna figure it out for yourself because I’m making you nervous, th-that’s fine, too. I can tell you’re getting more uncomfortable because of me.”
“Only because you’re acting all weird! I just want my wings groomed cause I don’t know how to do it! You’re making it seem like it’s gonna be something intimate when it’s not! Can you just show me how to preen these things?” He turned his head and spread out his wings, practically able to feel the blood rush in Thunderlane’s cheeks when he did.
There was a long moment of silence before Charley turned back around to the stallion to see him standing there, mouth half open as he stared at Charley’s feathers. Was this the equivalent of a man staring at a woman’s chest?
“Thunderlane. Stop standing there with that dumb look on your face and show me how to do this.”
“Right. Right! Okay! I’m sorry. Um. Let me think about how to do this.”
He moved up and examined them, trying to think about how to go about this, his face becoming a deeper and deeper shade of red by the idea of something. What the idea was, Charley didn’t know, but he was curious.
“What is it?”
“Well, it’s– you know, preening is, um, d-done by mouth…”
“You have to put your mouth on my feathers?”
“Well, th-that’s how everypony does it,” he said quickly. “Nopony uses their hooves because they can’t reach all the way back there.”
“But you can use your hooves on my feathers.”
“I can, but the point is to teach you how to do it, right? Since you’re gonna be gone tomorrow? Unless you’re uncomfortable… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Charley told him. “I just don’t know how this all works. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. And I don’t know if it’s gonna be tomorrow or the day after. He never specified.”
“Who’s this ‘he’ person?”
“Not right now. I’ll tell you tomorrow. Show me how to do my wings.”
“Okay… are you sure you want me to do this for you?”
“Y-yeah! I don’t know how to do it! It’s not that big of a deal since we’re naked all the time and already showered together! I just want to go out flying later!” 
“Okay. M-make sure you watch carefully.”
Charley took a breath and tried not to be so nervous. Thunderlane’s shyness and unease was getting into his head. He was making this out to be like he was getting ready to go down on him, and his heart beat out of his chest because of it.
“Okay, you’re gonna wanna start by laying down on your stomach,” the stallion told him, gently using a hoof to push him down. “A lot of pegasi don’t do it this way, but that’s just what I do. And then, um…”
“And then what?” Charley asked, turning around to watch him. “What do I do?”
“Well, um, well… so, the next thing to know is that, um… whenever you preen, whether its yourself or somepony else… do you really not know how to do this?”
“Thunderlane. What happens next?”
“Sorry. So, when you preen either yourself or somepony else, there’s a certain oil called ‘preen oil’ that’s secreted from above your upper lip to help you, uh, r-relax, as well as keep your feathers from getting brittle or filled with bacteria or whatever else. Don’t ask me how your body knows when you’re preening yourself, let alone somepony else, but it does, and it secretes the oil when you do. So, uh…”
“So my wings are gonna be covered in oil?” Charley asked. “How do I fly llke that? And what do you mean ‘relax’?”
“It’s extremely thin. It’s not gonna, like, drench your feathers. And, uh, relax isn’t really the right word. I– it– I don’t know how to describe it, but it creates whatever feel good chemicals in your head to make you want to preen yourself every so often. About once a week or so for most ponies. And, um… it’s s-s-supposed to be intimate…”
He could imagine what Thunderlane was describing, and went back to blushing and looking at his hooves at the thought of it. If all that was true, then unpreened wings really were a big deal.
“I- I mean, y-you don’t have to h-help me if you d-don’t want to,” Charley said quickly, ashamedly. “It’s f-fine, I guess.”
“If you really don’t know how to preen your own wings, I can help you. It’s not any trouble.”
“I don’t…” He looked back up in Thunderlane’s beautiful golden eyes. It was probably the quietest moment he had with him, and the most nerve wracking. Thunderlane’s nervousness made him extremely nervous. His heart was beating out of his chest over something that probably wasn’t even going to be remembered in a few days when he was with Death.
“Go ahead and show me what to do,” Charley told him, giving a little smile and earning one back from the stallion. Thunderlane carefully leaned down and grabbed the first feather in his mouth.
“So the main thing you want to do is make sure they’re all nice and neat and straight and not bent,” he said as Charley watched his mouth on his wing. “You don’t want to pluck them though, not ever. Any feathers that are too brittle and old will fall out on their own. So you straighten them out by working from the base to the top a few times over, like this.”
He showed him how to do it, running his muzzle over the feather to straighten it out. Charley tried to watch as he did it, but realized what he meant about this being an intimate activity. It was just one or two feathers he was showing him out to do right now, but it felt good. It was a feeling he wanted to close his eyes for and sink into, and he gasped when he first felt it. He had to avoid sighing loudly, it felt exceptional.
“As you do this,” Thunderlane said as he worked, “The oil that’s secreted from your lip runs itself on the feather and keeps them disease free and from getting brittle. Luckily, yours look like they're in very good condition. After that though, you just need to straighten out their positioning like this.” He adjusted a few of the feathers on Charley’s wings, a move that made Charley sigh happily again.
“This feels really good,” he said as he tried to remain focused on what the stallion was doing.
“Y-yeah, I try,” Thunderlane smiled shyly. “Other mares have told me I have good preening skills, but I don’t see how.” He glanced into Charley’s eyes for a second before looking away embarrassed. It made Charley feel equally embarrassed as he asked, “A-anyway, do you think you know how to do it now?”
“I can try. Like this?” he asked, using his mouth to try and copy what Thunderlane did. He felt a little bit of the oil Thunderlane said would build up automatically making its way to his upper lip as he tried to straighten them out. However, he could tell he was having far less success than the stallion was. He looked up at the pegasus, who alternated between watching him and looking away shyly. It felt okay with Charley himself working the feathers, but not nearly as good as the two or three Thunderlane did for him.
“I don’t know if I’m doing it right.”
“It’s just that– well, I mean… you could be doing it better,” he admitted. “Try it more like this.” He demonstrated again, taking another feather in his mouth and straightening it out for him, sending a shiver through Charley’s spine.
“Fuck, that feels good… I’m sorry, I don’t mean to embarrass you,” he said quickly. “But I can see why it’s something, uh, intimate.”
“Yeah.” Thunderlane rubbed a hoof behind his head before saying quietly, “I-i-if you can’t, um, d-do it yourself… I can, um… just do them all for you.”
“If this is the pegasus version of sex–”
“No! It’s not like that! It’s just… like, you wouldn’t cuddle with someone who’s only a friend, would you? It’s the same way. It’s just not something ponies do platonically… b-b-but I can do it f-for you if you don’t know how to do it yourself…”
“I mean, if you don’t want to it’s fine…”
“It’s not any trouble. I mean, you’re leaving tomorrow anyway, so you’re gonna wanna have your wings in good condition for when you fly away, right? It would just be helping a friend. I-if you’re okay with that.”
“Sure, if you are.” He looked up at the pegasus, who once again stared back down at him. This time though, Charley was the one giving a smile that made Thunderlane smile in return. It made Charley feel a little more excited and made his heart beat just a little faster.
Calm down. You’re only doing this because you need your wings preened, not as some romantic gesture. You both agreed that you like each other and aren’t gonna be doing weird stuff, so get that thought out of your head. You’ll be gone either tomorrow or the day after anyway.
“Just stay laying down and keep your wings spread out for me,” the pegasus instructed. “This’ll take a little while. And let me know if I’m making you uncomfortable.”
“Okay, will do.”
Charley took a breath and stretched back out, closing his eyes as Thunderlane got to work. He gasped again as he felt Thunderlane’s mouth working his feathers into place, and let out a murr of contentment. How moving feathers around could feel so incredible, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to complain. He also didn’t mind the weight of Thunderlane on his back as the stallion moved on top of him to get a better angle. 
“Do you like that?” Thunderlane whispered, stopping for a second to ask.
“Mhm. Keep going.”
Not only could Charley feel his heart beating hard, he could also feel the stallion’s heart beating fast as he laid on top of him to get to his wings. It was a lovely feeling, and one that made him smile shyly to himself. An actual man– err, stallion– was laying on top of him and treating him nicely, even if it was only having his wings preened. It was a happy thought, and one that made his heart beat harder. He never thought in his life that he’d be able to be in this position.
And it’s happening when you have about a day left to spend with him, he couldn’t help but think. Death was right. I really wasted my entire life just being fucking stupid and grumpy over things I could’ve changed. And only in these last four days am I feeling better, just for it to be taken away.
Sure, he was going to be a woman soon, and would be able to be himself, but still…
“Are you okay?” Thunderlane asked as he started to hear Charley sniffle and cry. “I’m not hurting you am I? Or am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No, it feels amazing, and you’re not making me uncomfortable,” he said quietly. “I’m just thinking about how my life has just been fucking awful and I completely wasted it.”
“Tell me what you mean?” the stallion asked, brushing a strand of Charley’s hair behind his ear and turning his head to him. “I wanna listen.”
“It’s just my whole life. Yeah, there were some things I couldn’t change. A lot of things. I know that. But like, trying to be happier, and treating people more kindly, and taking the leap and transitioning, and not being so lazy in school, and fucking using protection so I wouldn’t have a kid and have to spend almost ten years with my ex wife. There’s so many things I could’ve fixed, but didn’t take advantage of, and it’s my fault.”
“You can stay here if you don’t like wherever you’re going or wherever you’ve been. I really don’t mind at all.” He moved up to place his head against Charley’s, laying fully on his back.
“No I can’t. I cannot stay here. Staying here isn’t an option.”
“You’re right. I know. I’m sorry. But what about changing your life wherever you go?" 
“No… it’s just… ugh. It’ll be nicer, I know that, but still. My whole life has just been a mess. I should’ve done more. Even when I was dying, I was still acting like a fucking jackass to everyone! What the hell is wrong with me?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Charley,” the stallion said softly, rubbing his back. “So what if you didn’t transition? Does that make you less of a mare? Does it make you less of a good friend that you’re kind of abrasive? Does it make you less of a pony if you’re lazy? Even if you’re all those things, you’re still a nice person to be around. Even if nopony else likes you, I do, and if things are gonna be brighter when you’re gone, what’s there to worry about?”
“God, this isn’t helping…” He felt the tears streak down his face, rubbing into Thunderlane’s coat some when he pressed into him. He was so nice to have by his side, and he was going to hate having to choose between the pony and himself, even if he knew the choice he would make. Was this going to be his last night with him?
“Can you just keep preening me, please?” he asked quietly, not bearing to look at him.
“Would you like it if I did?” Thunderlane asked just as quietly.
“Yes, please. It felt nice.”
“Okay, sweetie,” Thunderlane smiled before going back to his wings. Charley didn’t gasp this time when he felt the mouth on his feathers, but he did sigh and sink into the bed a little bit. He closed his eyes and let the stallion work, letting out a satisfied moan of contentment every so often. He occasionally turned around to see the look on Thunderlane’s face, and it was always smiling whenever he did. 
Too bad I’m not gonna be seeing it for too much longer.
“This is so nice,” he said contentedly as he felt his wings be preened. “Much better than I expected. Thank you.”
“I’m almost done, okay? There’s only a few feathers left.” Another minute later, and there was nothing more left to do, Thunderlane moving up next to Charley when he finished. 
“I hope you liked that,” Thunderlane said quietly, smiling and pushing his golden eyes into Charley’s. “Did it make you feel better?”
“Yeah, it did. I like it,” he blushed back, only looking away for a second before moving back to take him in. He was still looking just as strong and handsome as the day he met him, his strong muscles complimenting his soft eyes wonderfully. He was the man of his dreams, that he knew, and the person he’d spent fifteen years longing for. Even after just five days, he knew that.
And I’m gonna have to leave him in a day and a half at most.
He did his best to put that thought out of his mind, only focusing on those golden eyes and the feeling of his coat rubbing against Thunderlane’s as he pressed into him. He wanted to bury his muzzle into his neck to sniff his scent, but forced himself not to. Instead he continued to stare into his enchanting eyes, unblinking as the pony stared back.
It was a lovely, quiet moment the two of them shared, one Charley wanted to last forever. He could feel Thunderlane’s breathing against him and almost hear is heart beating. He wanted once again to move in and try to kiss him, but contained himself. He wasn’t going to be embarrassing himself twice. But still, he wished the stallion would move in and do it, even if he did have to leave tomorrow. 
“Um, what if…” He couldn’t believe he was starting the question. He shouldn’t have been doing this, no way. It was just going to end in embarrassment again. Rumble was right. He shouldn’t have been playing with Thunderlane’s emotions like this.
“You don’t have to say anything,” the stallion said softly, putting a hoof on his cheek to silence him before he could speak. He couldn’t take his eyes off the stallion for a long moment, watching him close his eyes and draw his face closer to him. A second later, he closed his own eyes, and felt his heart jump up happily as the stallion planted a kiss on his lips.
It lasted only three or four seconds, followed by a second, shorter kiss a moment later before Charley opened his eyes again, but it was one that felt like it lasted a lifetime. His face was bright red as he watched Thunderlane send a longing gaze his way, his expression as confident as ever. Of course it was though. What did he expect? He might have been embarrassed with preening his wings, but an actual, real live kiss? Of course he wouldn’t think anything of it.
Oh my god, I actually kissed a boy. It only took over thirty years, but… fuck! I kissed a boy!
“Wow, that smile you have on your face is adorable,” Thunderlane grinned. “I didn’t think you could possibly get any more cute.”
“I’m not smiling!” he yelled as he quickly turned away, trying to hid his enormous grin. “I just– I can’t believe I actually kissed you!” Thunderlane laughed at how happy Charley looked as he continued, “I’ve never actually kissed a man before.”
“Well I’m glad I got to be your first time kissing one,” Thunderlane replied. “I can’t believe though that a pretty mare like you never kissed a boy before. I bet stallions from here to Fillydelphia swoon over you. They see you and say, ‘she’s an absolute ten’.”
“Heck, you’re gonna make me die! Stop it!” Charley told him, unbearably happy. He knew he was just trying to make him flustered calling him a mare and using girl pronouns on him. It didn’t stop it from working though. He actually kissed a man. A real, live man. Sure that man was a horse, and he might have been a horse, too, but it didn’t stop him from being a man. He felt incredibly happy because of it. Charley was just a mare who kissed her boyfriend for the first time.
A boyfriend she would have to leave after tomorrow.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, turning away from the black pegasus. “I shouldn’t have edged you on like that when I’m already going to be leaving. I’m so fucking dumb.”
“It’s fine, Charley,” Thunderlane assured him, setting a hoof on his shoulder. “I’m not bad or embarrassed or anything. It’s fine. Plus, you’re a good kisser.”
Charley desperately tried not to smile at his words as he said, “You’re making it worse.”
“I’m sorry. But anyway, you’re wings are all preened now. Did you want to go out flying now?”
“That would be nice, if you want to… I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Charley,” Thunderlane laughed. “You’re absolutely fine, don’t worry. I’m not getting any ideas about you staying here or anything, promise. Now let’s go out flying.”
The two left the room with that, passing by Rumble on the way out, who was reading a book. The colt took a second to send an angry glare and a grunt of frustration Charley’s way before going back to reading and letting the two of them leave in peace. Charley did think it was weird though.
“Does your brother not like me or something?” he asked as they stepped outside. “He’s been glaring at me and giving me angry looks for the last couple of days now.”
“I’m not sure, but I’ll talk to him after you go to sleep if you want, because I’m curious about that, too.”
“I’d like to know what it is.”
“I’ll get to the bottom of it. But more importantly– do you remember what to do? How to kick off the ground and lift yourself into the air and stuff? It’s been almost a full day since you flew.”
“Yes, I remember,” Charley replied, a little smile forming. “But do you think you could carry me into the sky anyway? Since you’re supposed to be the big, strong stallion between us.”
“Sure, but only because you’re the small, pretty mare of this duo,” the stallion joked. Charley’s face went red again, knowing he should’ve seen it coming as Thunderlane continued, “But only if you promise to fly once we get high enough in the air. I can’t carry you for too long, even as small and pretty as you are.”
The words made him smile more, but he didn’t correct him or chastise him, responding, “Yeah, I’ll fly after you carry me up, I promise.”
And so up is where they went, flying around until they got tired.