Awkward. That was the unspoken agreement. The heat of their brief moment of combat was drenched in ice water and repeatedly slapped with a damp cloth as Uriah and Rainbow Dash watched AppleJack reprimand her little sister. "Of all the confounded, reckless, foolhardy, irresponsible..."
Uriah winced. "So many adjectives."
Rainbow, still stuck in the dirt, shared his noticeable discomfort. "I don't wanna look, but I can't move." Uriah, still focused on the sister-drama, wordlessly lied down next to Rainbow's head and draped his wing over her face. "Thank you."
He shook his head and smiled. "You really are adorable."
"I will bite." She snapped.
"Oh, come off it, Rainbow. All this hostility and wild accusations." He ruffled her hair, drawing a frustrated groan. "What exactly makes you think I had anything to do with what happened in Cloudsdale?"
Rainbow squirmed and nudged his wing off. "Because when Twilight fixed it, she said it had to have been one of your spells."
"Really?" Uriah's eyes widened slightly, but quickly returned to his cool look. "Because I just spoke to Twilight before I met the crusaders and she didn't say anything to me about it."
A look of panicked realization came over Rainbow's face. "Uuuuuhhh..."
"And now you're realizing she told you not to let it slip that she thought it was me." He gently bonked her head between words. "That's why you have to watch your temper."
She squirmed again. "So you admit it?"
"I admit nothing...except your mane is like really soft. You DID go to a spa today didn't you?" She scrunched her face, blushed, and turned away. "Aww and I just ruined it by shoving you in the dirt, didn't I? Poor baby, let me help."'
His horn lit up and his red aura wrapped around Rainbow again. Her eyes widened. "Hey!" She struggled as she was easily lifted out of her hole. As expected, she was covered in dirt and grime from her neck down. Uriah's magic cradled her and adjusted her so her wings opened and her legs were held out in front of her. Little black suns floated up and down each limb, leaving a tingling sensation. Rainbow was visibly uncomfortable. "The hay are you doing?"
Uriah squinted in focus and ignored the whines. "Relax. It's just a little chronal manipulation. Basically I'm reversing time around your body to get you back to where you were before you blew a fuse."
She glared. "You're not gonna turn me into a baby again."
"Only if you fidget." He squinted as he focused, the spell working its way around her like a team of sponges. Her coat brightened as every bit of dirt simply faded into nothing. Uriah set her back on her hooves and gave her a once over. "Just a little more behind your ears and...perfect."
Rainbow took a second to examine herself to make sure there was no funny business. She gave a begrudging snort. "I hate to admit it, but I feel pretty awesome."
"Well, don't you look pretty as a picture." Applejack couldn't take her eyes off Rainbow as she came up to join them.
"Maybe wait a little longer before getting yourself messed up again, Sugarcube. Unless, of course, I'm the one doin' the messin'." She gave Rainbow a little kiss on the cheek, drawing a bashful smile from the pegasus.
Uriah had to smile. "You two are just precious." He gave a little chuckle when Rainbow gave him a quick dig in the shoulder. He looked back toward the road and his expression fell. He could see little Applebloom, trudging toward the farm with her head hung low. "I feel terrible."
Applejack shook her head. "Not your fault. She knew better. I've told her before she's not allowed to do work like that with me or our brother helping her. As a matter of fact..." To the great surprise of the alicorn, she put her hooves around him in a hug. "Thank you for lookin' out for those little fillies today. If you hadn't have been there when you were..." Her words caught in her throat and her eyes started to water.
Uriah gently patted her mane. "Now now, it's alright. No sense worrying about what-ifs when there are so many what-ares to celebrate." The girls both raised and eyebrow. "It's something stupid Celestia used to say when I got into a rut thinking. It didn't make sense then either...the crazy old bat." He shook out the bad thoughts. "I still hate that I got Apple Bloom into trouble. Is she alright?"
AJ looked to the farm with a frown. "She'll bounce back. Even working through her punishment, she'll come out with a positive attitude." She turned to Uriah with a puzzled expression. "Funny thing is, before I started giving her the business, she already seemed upset."
Uriah rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, that's my fault. I kind of stuck my hoof in my mouth after I rescued them. I said "what would your fathers think" and..." There was a knowing look in Applejack's eyes as she hushed a little gasp. Uriah felt that pang again. "Applejack, I'm so sorry."
The farm pony hid her eyes with the brim of her hat as Rainbow placed a consoling wing around her. She sniffed a bit, but spoke clearly. "You couldn't know. We don't exactly talk about it much." She cuddled close to her marefriend and took a deep breath. "It was so sudden. I had just talked to them that morning. They went out to make a delivery, nothing special, but then that afternoon there was this awful storm that ripped through. They were on their way back...there was a landslide..." She coughed, but composed herself. "Apple Bloom was so little, barely a year old. Me and Big Mac had our memories to help us through,"
Uriah, in a soft and understanding tone, finished for her. "But it's hard for Apple Bloom because there's nothing to remember. Just this empty spot in her heart where she knows something's supposed to be." His ear twitched. "I can relate."
Applejack's eyes widened in realization. "Oh, right, I forgot about your Pa."
Uriah waved it off. "It's fine, I'm fine. I've had a very long time to deal with that. Just...if Apple Bloom ever needs to talk about it with somepony who understands, let me know."
The farm pony gave him another smile and tilted her hat. "I appreciate that. I'm sure she would too."
He nodded, but then he remembered where this conversation started. He looked back to the fence to see two little shapes partially hidden by a post. "So what do we do with those two?"
Rainbow Dash stepped up next to him as they made their way to the accused. "I can take Scoots to her aunts' house in town. Read her the riot act on the way."
Uriah nodded and circled around the post. The two fillies shrank as the trio of grown ups surrounded them. Sweetie Belle found herself staring down the hard gaze of the pale alicorn. "Then there was one." He gently lifted her in his magic and planted the little unicorn on his back. "So, to where am I escorting you, young lady?"
Sweetie Belle let out a defeated sigh. "I'm staying with my sister, Rarity, while our parents are away. She's going to be so mad."
"Can't help that. Angry lectures are never fun, but sometimes we need to hear it. Speaking of which," He took a moment to look to the sky. His horn glowed and a little black sun drifted off. "That's gonna be a headache later, but it's long overdue." Uriah turned to look at his passenger. She brushed a pink curl from her face, her eyes filled with a fear and regret. "Look, it's never that bad. The worst she can do is yell. She's your sister, she loves you."
This got a little smile. "Thanks, Uriah."
"Don't mention it, kid."
The atmosphere had become so dim. Everything was the same as it usually was, curtains were drawn, no cloud cover, but it was as if the light had just lost its brightness. Raven had been working as Celestia's personal assistant for years and she'd never seen anything like it. She fiddled with her clipboard, pretending to be busy as to delay delivering more bad news.
"What did they say? Will they reschedule?"
The question sent a bolt up her spine. She almost dropped the clipboard. Raven looked up to the waiting eye of the princess. Eye, singular, being the operative word. Celestia just had a listless depression draped over the little bit of curiosity she could force through. She tried to hide it with her mane, but the bluntness of it was worse than the black eye. An eyepatch, dark brown, showed through the waves of her colorful hair. The royal physician had it custom made with her cutie mark, in an attempt to make her feel better about it. It did not.
Raven gathered herself and reviewed the clipped reply. "I'm sorry, Princess, but the bookstore opening can't be delayed. The owners already have multiple events lined up and insist the opening and...the agreed upon photo-op go as planned."
"Uuuuuuuggghhhh!" The solar princess splayed out sideways on her throne. She covered her faced with her wings and rubbed her temples. "That was supposed to be something sweet and special for me and Twilight to do. To ease the tension, but I bucked that up too."
"Your majesty!"
"I don't care if its crass, I'm sad!" She curled up and rolled over, turning her back to the court. "My dearest Twilight and my beloved little sister. Just up and gone and they probably never want to speak to me again..." Celestia hugged herself tight, making herself as small as she felt. "I deserve it."
"You got that right!" The voice boomed throughout the chamber, rattling the stained glass windows.
Celestia sat back up instantly and her eyes shot open. "That voice..." There was an ominous hum resonating from the window depicting Twilight's coronation. A dark red glow enveloped the colorful glass and a black sun phased into the room. It circled from one side of the room to the other before floating in the air before the throne it expanded and morphed, taking on a large equine shape. Hooves stamped the floor like thunder, wings unfurled like a gust from a maelstrom, and a mane spread out like a flow of cobwebs. A jagged horn and bright red eyes were the pièce de résistance of an ethereal alicorn that loomed over the princess and assistant like a living shadow. Celestia met the eyes of the intruder with a hard look. "Uriah."
The shape of smoke and shadow had no mouth, but the voice echoed as if it came from everywhere at once. "Yeah, bing bong, it's me, the kid you abandoned when you threw me into space."
She glared. "What do you want?"
The shadow didn't flinch. "Honestly, to never have to see or hear you ever again. I hadn't even given you a second thought after the Crystal Empire and I was doing great, but then I find out you've been emotionally abusing aunt Luna again, so terribly that she and Twilight had to up-end their lives just to get away from you. So now I have to waste my time and effort to scream at you for being awful...again."
Celestia pointed to her eye patch. "I understand that perfectly well. I've already suffered for it, I don't need you rubbing..."
"Shut up." It was quick, sharp, and silenced her immediately. "Shut up. Just shut up. I cannot begin to impress upon you how much I do not care to hear any of your self-pitying tripe. You do not understand, at all, as a matter of fact. Because, and I need you to listen to this, you keep doing this. You lost aunt Luna to Nightmare Moon because satisfying your bloated ego was more important than your sister, you lost me because playing by the rules was more important than saving ponies' lives and also your own child."
Celestia's feathers bristled. "You wiped out an entire race!"
The shape remained unphased, but Uriah's voice raised an octave. "Stop telling me what I did! I know what I did! We're talking about what you did and keep doing! You let Tirek escape. You left him unguarded for five hundred years. Do you even realize the catastrophic amount of dumb luck that he only just escaped? If it had happened a century, a decade, or even a week before aunt Luna came back, then that would have been the end of Equestria."
"I know!" Her royal Canterlot voice shook the room. "I-I know. I couldn't stop him alone, there were no elements of harmony, it would just be a matter of him taking over."
"All for the sake of covering your image." His words oozed with disgust. "That's the sickening part. You had to know the truth would inevitably come out. I was in regular contact with Twilight and Luna and there was no way I'd ever cover for you. So tell me, what exactly was it that compelled you to omit the truth again? Was it the fear of their disappointment or was the simple act of admitting you made a mistake still too agonizing for you to bare? I'm inclined to believe the later because, almost predictably, your response to getting caught was to deflect and attack your baby sister with everything she hates about herself." She was silent. "I thought so. You know the only bit of satisfaction I get from any of this is knowing how wonderful a life those two will have without you in it."
Tears ran down Celestia's face. She knew he wasn't going to let her get away without getting a word in and she knew he was going to be sure to try and hurt her worse than she hurt Luna. "I wish...I wish I was as protective as you. If I was more active in protecting the ponies I love instead of just overseeing, I wouldn't keep losing them. Uriah...I need your help."
"Bite me."
She dried her face. "I'm being serious. I'm not in any shape to handle the Tirek situation. I need to get myself together, fix things with Luna and Twilight so we can face this problem on a united front. Until then, Somepony needs to run interference on whatever Tirek is up to." The solar princess looked the projection in its unfeeling eyes. "If there's one pony capable of holding their own against a threat like that, it's you."
"True." there was a scoff in his voice. "Then again, I suppose you could just get Discord to do it. A wild card for sure, but absolutely more of a powerhouse and definitely more eager to please. So, I pose the same question I asked aunt Luna at the Crystal Empire. Why should I stick my neck out to fix a problem you created?"
"I would hope the shared desire to see Equestria safe..."
"Boooo!"
Celestia rolled her eyes. "Okay, just...tell me what you want. What do I need to do to show you I'm serious about putting my faith in you again?"
There was silence. Coupled with the unnatural stillness of the shape, an uneasy air swept across the room, until Uriah's voice broke through like a hammer on steel. "Abdicate the throne to me."
The solar princess could feel the tension headache coming on. She had to snap herself out of a flabbergasted state. "I...You...Is that all this is to you? A chance to extort the kingdom from me?"
"Oh, come off it." Uriah's tone remained firm and condescending. "I'm not asking for anything that you weren't already prepared to give. I mean that was the entire point of Twilight's training and becoming an alicorn, right? You weren't just putting her in my place, you've been grooming your own replacement." A guilty look from his mother confirmed he hit the nail on the head. "Not that I disagree, I think she'd be great, but that's still another conversation we'll need to have about you shirking your responsibilities. All I want is what was supposed to be mine in the first place."
Celestia firmed up her stance. "It's not that simple. The throne of Equestria is such a vast responsibility. I can't, in good conscience, just pass it off in a quid pro quo."
"These are my terms." The words came with a gust of wind. "You're going to need to decide what's more important to you, being a mother to Twilight and sister to Luna or being ruler of Equestria. I'll give you one week to decide. When you're ready to give me back my life, go to the place where you took it from me."
She dug at the floor. "Am I allowed to know the deal or do you want to keep being cryptic?"
"Meh, it's pretty straightforward. You accept, you'll have Tirek brought to you in chains at the Grand Galloping Gala, where, in a very official public statement, you'll acknowledge me as rightful heir to the throne and relinquish your rule immediately." The projection began to fade. "Speaking of which, I'm going to need something to wear and, as luck would have it, I'm currently waiting in the parlor of a talented designer. I'm going to cut the call now and go back to that because talking to you is giving me a tension headache and today is supposed to be my self-care day. Click."
The shape vanished like a mist in the wind. Raven's mouth was agape as she tried to process. "Why did he say "click?"" She turned to the princess with concern in her eyes. "Your majesty, you can't seriously be considering..."
"That will be all, Raven." Celestia sad flatly before collapsing back into the throne. "I won't be doing that photo-op. I need to be alone."
Uriah snapped out of his trance. "Well, those seeds are sewn." He took a moment to look about the room and get his bearings. He liked Rarity's boutique. Between the mannequins and the sewing machines, it had a real worked-in feel. He took note of a very soft and warm sensation around his neck. A white cat in a purple bow had climbed onto his shoulders and made herself comfortable. Uriah smiled and gave her some gentle pets as he cooed. "Aw, hello. You are just precious. Did you come keep me company in my catatonic state? Did you?"
The cat purred and leaned into his touch. Hoofsteps entering the room interrupted their moment. "Opal Essence, leave our guest alone. You have a perfectly lovely cat tower to snooze on in the next room."
Opal gave a begrudging meow and hopped off Uriah's shoulder. The alicorn gave a little wave. "Bye, kitty." He turned his bright smile to his host, the lovely miss Rarity. "So, how did it go?"
Rarity took a moment to face-hoof. "A runaway cart. Of all the hair-brained schemes those three have done, this is probably the second most reckless. It's hard to beat running off into the Everfree alone, but they came pretty close. I told her she's confined to her room until our parents come to pick her up and then they can decide a proper punishment once she explains herself. In the meantime..." She put on a sly smile before running up and throwing her hooves around him. She gave him a kiss on each cheek, then nuzzled him sweetly. "Thank you for saving my little sister!" She gave him one more big smooch on the lips before nestling in under his chin.
Uriah blushed and his wings flared out. "You are most welcome."
It was her turn to be flustered as she stepped back. " Oh my...do forgive me. I just don't know what I'd do if anything had happened to her. I'm supposed to be taking care of her, but I get so caught up with my work it's easier to just let her wander off with her friends."
"That's what friends are for at that age," He said with a smirk. "Go out and adventure and keep your accountabilibuddies close so there's someone to walk home with." He reached out a wing and gently placed it on her shoulder. "You're doing great."
Rarity felt warm and gave him a sweet look. She went up to him again and gave him another peck on the cheek. "And that's for being such a sweetheart." She couldn't help but giggle at how he bashfully rubbed the back of his head. "So what brings you to town in the first place, darling?"
Uriah straightened up. "Well, I was here to see Pinkie, but she's still at work so I was just killin time around town when I stumbled on the kids. It actually worked out pretty well. I'd been wanting to come talk with you."
"Me?" The unicorn's eyes fluttered in surprise. "Whatever for?"
He stood up and followed her across the room. "Well, I don't know if Pinkie's told you yet, but I'll be accompanying her to the Grand Galloping Gala. As such, I'm going to need something to wear." There was a twinkle of wonder in her eyes that made Uriah grin. "I didn't want to bother you, but it's just such a special occasion and I can't think of anyone better for the job than THE most innovative and talented designer from here to Canterlot."
It was actually fascinating to watch. In a swift motion, she had collected her glasses, pen, notepad and tape measure, and then positioned herself behind him to usher him deeper into the parlor. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Darling." There was a few seconds of Uriah sliding across the floor as she poked him with her horn before he hurried to her mirrors. "Now, tell me what you're looking for. Help me find a look that speaks to you and everypony around you. What do want them to hear?"
He pondered his reflection before answering. "Questions. Whispers in their ear. Who is he? Where did he come from? What is he up to? Honestly, my first thought was green spandex covered in question marks, but that seemed just a bit garish."
Rarity hummed in the affirmative. Then she manually adjusted his posture. "Sit up straight, dear. I want to get your measurements right."
Uriah felt a sharp pressure in his back and his wings extended on reflex. "I actually have those written down. I was having some armor made a while back..."
She gently placed a hoof to his lips. "It's a little more delicate than smithing. Besides I prefer to do it myself. Familiarizing myself with the client's frame helps keep the sewing accurate and that personal touch is what makes it a Rarity original."
He smirked and let her do her thing. The tape zipped and slithered over his frame as Rarity took down numbers. She got up close, resting her chin on his shoulder as she lifted up one of his front legs. Uriah's eyes widened for a moment. "Oh, wow." He took her hoof in his and just held it for a moment. "I remember when my coat was this pristine and white."
Curious, Rarity followed his gaze. Next to hers, Uriah's coat had such a dingy look. She brought her other hoof around, wrapping him in a hug as she held his hoof. "You poor thing. I can't even begin to think of how you must have been living those five hundred years."
Uriah gave a little chuckle. "You know what a comet is? Its just a ball of ice and dust. I was wading around in wet dust. Then there were those times it would pass by a star and it would start outgassing, which is what forms the tail. So I was just relentlessly doused in dust and vapor for days on end. It was the opposite of a steam cleaning. I am so very glad I blew it up."
She hugged him tighter. "Nice ponies like you shouldn't have to suffer like that."
He took a deep breath to swallow the bad thoughts and returned her affection with a nuzzle. "Oh bother. Now I've gone and upset you." The pale alicorn stood up, his snow white companion still held gently before him. "A charming prince should never make a beautiful maiden upset." He tenderly wiped away a sympathetic tear from her cheek with his wing. "He should only ever make them happy...by any means necessary." With a mischievous grin and a flick of his wings, he proceeded to tickle Rarity mercilessly.
Rarity erupted in a laughing fit. "Hehehe, Uriah! Haha! Stop! your gonna make me smudge my makeup."
Seeing her smile warmed up his heart and he relented. "That's more like it! Music to the ear. That's a prince's purpose...no, a king's purpose. To keep his ponies safe, to see them happy, to make their lives a celebration, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera."
Rarity barely started to push herself up before he scooped her up and spun her around. When he set her down with a bow, she shook her head and smiled. "I can see why Pinkie likes you so much. Now that I have my measurements, why don't I put on some tea and we can talk ideas."
It was such a calming sensation. Uriah didn't know if it was just getting out of the caves, but he definitely felt himself breathing easier. Rarity was just such delightful company. Charming, intelligent, incredibly sweet, and could very easily return any casual affection he could dish out. She reminded him of another old friend from long ago, but much cleaner. They chatted back and forth, sketching out a concept as they went. They had decided on a tailcoat, black, with golden accents and a raised collar. As to accessories, Rarity though a shoulder cape would be enough, but Uriah insisted on a matching domino mask. Once it was all drawn out, Rarity pinned it to her project board and they set down to some regular chatting. Uriah dropped a bit of gossip that almost made Rarity choke on her tea. "She did what?!"
The alicorn had a proud smirk. "Twilight proposed to Luna. Don't tell them I told you, I'm already in trouble for outing Twilight's secret."
She did a little prance and giggled in delight. "Oooohhhh, I'm so happy for them. I've already got a hundred ideas for their dresses." She sat back down with a dreamy look. "Those two are going to have the best time. I don't think I could ask for a better romance and they could certainly use it with all the drama that's been going on."
Uriah leaned back, smiled, and, to the unicorn's surprise, began to sing. "Hello young lovers, whoever you are, I hope your troubles are few. All my good wishes go with you tonight, I've been in love like you. Be brave, young lovers, and follow your star, be brave and faithful and true, cling very close to each other tonight. I've been in love like you."
Rarity couldn't help but look at him adoringly. "You have a lovely singing voice."
"It's been a while." He took a sip of his tea. "It's just something in the air, I suppose, has me feeling a bit giddy. Walking around town, catching up with friends, and all this talk of romance is just making me feel aware of my heart. I'm grateful for where I am and longing for where I've been at the same time."
She had a look of concern as she took in his meaning. Cautiously, she decided to push. "Would you tell me about Scarlet?"
He didn't flinch, but he paused a moment. "What do you want to know?"
She reached out with her magic and gathered a small stack of papers she had on a nearby desk. "I'd just like to know about her. Twilight shared some pages from your book with me that had designs for dresses you made for her. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all." He set his cup down and relaxed. "I gave Twilight that book so she can learn and share those teachings with others. If you can draw inspiration from my humble foray into fashion, then by all means."
"Don't sell yourself short, Darling. These gowns are gorgeous." She laid them out on the table. "A little on the big side though."
"Scarlet was a big woman." He suppressed a laugh when Rarity blushed for not figuring the obvious. "It's alright, she wasn't ashamed of it. She was this big beautiful beast who never met an obstacle she couldn't brute force her way through. She didn't want to move, you weren't gonna move her and if she wanted to get in somewhere, you weren't going to stop her. Staff of the royal kitchen found that out the hard way. Chef demanded a guard detail to help man his barricade."
Rarity poured herself another cup. "Now, I got this from Twilight, who said she got it from her brother, so I'm not sure I heard right. Scarlet was half crocodile?"
"Little, blue-haired, blabbermouth." Uriah made a mental note to inflict pain upon Shining later, though he was sure he'd forget. "Yes. My Scarlet was a miracle of nature. Equine grace and intelligence mixed with the raw primal strength and ferocity of a prehistoric reptilian death machine. Stars, I loved her."
"Heavens," She didn't want to seem rude, but his passion was just a tad intimidating. "You make her sound almost frightening."
"Like I said, she was proud of herself and suffered no nonsense. She wasn't just an animal, but she never wanted anypony to forget she wasn't just a pony either. She was seventeen feet and a thousand pounds of confidence. She'd flash those teeth of hers constantly, make intimidation bellows when anypony got on her nerves, smash furniture with her tail." He chuckled. "Don't tell Fluttershy this, but Scarlet would eat small animals as a habit."
She gasped. "My word!"
Uriah started laughing full on. "The first night I brought her home, she ate my pet snake. Just busted open the tank and slurped it up like a noodle."
Rarity tried to keep her lunch down. "You must have been devastated."
He shrugged and kept smiling. "Silently heartbroken, but I couldn't blame her. She had been held captive for a long time and was probably starving. Of coarse, she kept on doing it. I'd nag her not to, because I thought for sure she'd get a disease or something, but she'd just roll her eyes and burp in my general direction. Of course, between her cast-iron stomach and reptilian immune system, I was worried for nothing. Even when everypony else got food poisoning from some bad oats, Scarlet was up on her feet and taking care of us."
This drew a smile from the unicorn. It was comforting to know this savage beast had a nurturing side. "The way you talk about her, something in your eyes, I can tell you loved her a lot. I wish I had somepony to care for me like that."
Uriah's eyes widened. "You're not about to tell me a living embodiment of beauty like you is still single."
She blushed. "Alas, it's true. My endeavors into romance have been...less than successful." She blew a little raspberry. "They've been downright dreadful. It all started with that louse Blueblood. Talk about prince charmless."
The alicorn cocked his head. "Blueblood isn't a prince." The resulting look of shock made him gasp in realization. "You didn't know? I thought you would have heard once you got into the circle of the royal family. He's a fraud."
Rarity cleared the table with her magic and quickly brought over a feinting pillow to the table. "Explain."
"Okay, I looked into this shortly after the vine incident. Not only is he not related to us in any way, he's not royal in any sense. He's not even rich. He's just some weird transient, lives under a bridge in Canterlot." Rarity's head hit the pillow and she motioned him to go on. "Apparently, he just wandered into a garden party one day, stole some clothes that somepony brought with them to show off, got caught raiding the horderve table, and then just lied on his life. He played it off so well he got away scott free and has been conning high society ever since."
She lifted her head with a dumbfounded look of realization. "He never paid. We went to two stands and the cash bar and he made me cover the cost every time. I got treated like a doormat by a hobo?!"
Uriah sat back and pondered the ceiling while he puzzled. "The irony of it is he actually does come from money. I followed the story back to his father and he tells me that, as a manner of principle, in order to access the family trust, Blueblood had to get a part time job. All he has to do is bust tables on the weekends and he could buy like three yachts. How could somepony be that entitled? The dad does it. He actually shines shoes here in Ponyville tuesdays and wed..." It was very quiet, but he distinctly heard sniffling. "Oh, Rarity..."
She immediately started blubbering. "It's not fair! Every time I feel brave enough to put myself out there, it all goes catastrophically wrong. All because I'm just not worth it!"
It was like an instinct. He moved like a ghost around the table and wrapped his wings around her. "That's nonsense and you know it. Any stallion who's lucky enough to be in your company and doesn't treat you with the utmost reverence is an utter fool!"
"You're just saying that." She hugged him tight and wept into his shoulder. "I thought Trenderhoof would have been a sure thing, but it was like I didn't even exist! He just obsessed over Applejack the whole time."
"Talk about barking up the wrong tree." This drew a little cry/laugh from his heartbroken friend. "Besides, you certainly shouldn't give those two cretins any sway over your self confidence."
She was calming down, but still sniffled as she lifted her head. "It's not just them. I'll throw a line out there, flutter my lashes, give a wink or a shake of my tail and everypony fawns "oh, isn't she lovely," but nopony ever takes the hint. It's like I'm a floral arrangement or a marble statue. Pretty to look at, but not much else."
He gently petted her mane. "Of course you're more than that. From what Pinkie tells me, you're one of the most loving, supportive, and, naturally, generous ponies to ever live. I mean you once cut off your own tail to help repair a sea serpent's moustache. Who does that for a complete stranger?" Uriah gently lifted her chin to look her in the eyes and was delighted to have brought her smile back. "Do you want my advice?" She gave a little nod. "Sometimes throwing a line out isn't going to work. I learned from Scarlet that if you want to catch a fish, sometimes you need to go in head first and snatch it. Be bold and be a little selfish. Now is there another stallion you fancy? Perhaps...not a stallion?"
Rarity blushed. "Well...it's not like I haven't thought about it. I do happen to keep the company of some of the most lovable and lovely mares in Equestria. Trouble is they all seem to be taken now. First I thought about Applejack, but then she and Rainbow Dash started going steady. After that my eligible bachelorettes seemed to be dropping one by one. Fluttershy, and please don't tell her I told you she's so very bashful, seems to be holding a candle for Discord."
"Noooooooo." Uriah covered his mouth to keep from letting the air out.
She nodded and went on. "Next Twilight paired up with Luna, which seems to be going excellent. I'm happy for them. Last, but not least in any sense, sweet Pinkie gets swept off her feet by the handsome prince I was waiting for. Oh, cruel irony."
Uriah shook his head and chuckled. "I suppose we'll just have to up your chances a little." He stepped back from her and his horn lit up. A small black sun appeared before him and he reached inside. "It's in here somewhere. Darned pocket dimension, always easier putting stuff in than taking it out." He rummaged about it, reaching in up to his shoulder. "Ah, here it is." He removed a luxurious crystal phial in the shape of a heart, filled with radiant pink liquid and sealed with a golden atomizer. The balloon pump was monogrammed with a golden letter A . "Just what the witch-doctor ordered. Ooh, that reminds me, has anyone checked in on Zecora?"
Rarity raised an eyebrow. "You mean after you petrified her, ransacked her home, blew up her home, and then just left her there fully exposed in the wilderness?"
"I'm a baaaaad boy." He gazed into space with a sorrowful expression, then immediately perked up and shrugged. "Eh, I'll send her a fruit basket. Anyway, this little beauty is just the thing you need."
She eyed the phial curiously. "Is it some sort of love potion?"
He scoffed. "There's nothing "some sort" about it, this is the genuine article. This was created by none other than the legendary, the radiant, the beautiful, the goddess of love herself, Aphrodite!" There was a look of befuddlement on the unicorn's face. "Oh, don't be so surprised. We use Tartarus as a dumping ground for existential threats to the kingdom, of course we know gods. Well, at least we did. Five hundred years and I never got a letter, I should probably look into that. In the meantime, a spritz of this on that lovely neck of yours, and you'll be irresistible to anypony who catches your fancy."
Rarity took the phial in her magic and eyed it with a bit of concern. "I appreciate the thought, Darling, but I'm not sure about overwriting the wills of others."
"No such thing." He placed a reassuring wing around her. "All this does is make sure that the next time you send a signal, whoever you've got your eye on won't be able to resist. Once they take the bait, however, it'll be up to you to seal the deal. So keep those spirits up stay ravishing."
She set the bottle down and gave him an appreciative hug. "What did we ever do to deserve an angel like you?"
There was twinkle of guilt in his eyes, that split second window into Uriah's knowing that, eventually, he'd break her heart. "Just promise me you'll remember this when I'm taking over the kingdom in dramatic fashion."
She laughed and gave him a gentle push before hugging him again. "You kidder you."
"Ooh, ooh! I heard laughing, did I miss a punchline?" The two turned to see a familiar pink shape come bouncing through the door.
Uriah's eyes lit up and his smile brightened. "Pinkie!" The earth pony tackled them both in a group hug. The trio shared another laugh before Uriah scooped up Pinkie and gave her a loving kiss. "There's my girl! Did you finish with work?"
Pinkie wiped some sweat from her brow. "Yup. It wasn't easy, but we got every order filled and the kitchen cleaned up afterward." She snuggled into him. "I'm all yours."
"Yes." He hugged her tight and enjoyed the scent. Pinkie smelled of cinnamon, chocolate, sweet creams, and various berries. It reminded him of when he would sneak away from school to go to the local confectionery. It was so soothing he felt like he could just fall asleep in her curls. "Oh, joy of my heart, I can already feel all my troubles just melting away. What shall we do now?"
Pinkie puzzled for a moment. "I'm not interrupting anything important?"
Rarity waved it off. "Uriah was just seeing about getting a new outfit for the Gala. I've got everything I need and I'll get started right away. Is there a way to contact you when it's ready so you can pick it up?"
Uriah set Pinkie down. "Actually, would it be alright if you hung on to it until gala night? Where I'm staying isn't exactly the cleanest. I'd hate for it to get ruined before the big day."
"No trouble at all, Darling." The fashionista gathered her notes went right to her fabrics. "You two love birds go enjoy your evening."
The alicorn gave a gentle bow. "Thankyou, Rarity. I'm sure it'll turn out beautifully." He turned back to Pinkie and gestured to the door with a warm smile. "Shall we, my love?"
Pinkie did a little bow. "We shall" She sidled up next to him and the two left in step.
In all of her life, for everything she'd been through, Twilight never ached this much. She layed back on her bed, staring at the ceiling, kicking her back legs in the air in an effort to get rid of a cramp. All the while objects floated about the room in her magic, drifting gently into place. She took a breath then turned her head, her eyes resting on the sight of Luna, who stood at the side of her bed, watching the younger alicorn with a loving smile. "The next time I suggest manual labor as a fun way to commemorate something, just hit me with a shovel."
Luna couldn't help but giggle. "A little excessive, don't you think?"
Twilight rubbed her temples and groaned. "Thought I learned my lesson that Winter Wrap-up. I clearly did not, and now my legs are paying for it."
"Aw, poor baby," The night princess cooed. She climbed up onto the bed and snuggled up next to Twilight. "It was worth it though." Luna leaned in, so thy were cheek to cheek, and nudged Twilight's face as she examined the room. "We did it. We're home."
"Home." It sounded sweet to her ear. Twilight gave Luna a loving nuzzle. "That sounds better and better every time I hear it." Her smile faded and she let her head fall back to the bed. "I just hope things aren't too good to be true."
Luna gave her love a worried look and gently stroked her mane. "You're talking about Uriah?" Twilight gave a nod. "Are you absolutely positive he sabotaged the weather factory?"
"It had to be him, Luna." There was a knot in Twilight's stomach. "I didn't want to believe it, but there's no other explanation. A teleportation spell latches onto the first thing it makes contact with. Water is harder to teleport because density changes with depth. It's why the pegasi use tornado, unicorns would need to cast multiple spells to bail the whole thing out and it'd take forever. Then there's the fact the water was in a container, which would take the hit of the spell. You could teleport the tank with the water in it, or open portals to drain the water, but those ways would have drawn attention. To pull off what happened, one would need to cast the spell in away so it bursts inside the body of water so that it would all be teleported at once, but to do that you would need to teleport the spell, mid-flight, so that it bypasses the barrier and surface of the water, and reappears in the spot it needs to hit. I've only read that technique of spellcraft in one book."
The lavender alicorn reached out with her magic and retrieved a certain black book from her nightstand. She passed it to Luna, who accepted it with a sigh. "Uriah's."
Twilight placed a hoof under her chin as she puzzled. "It's how I was able to reverse it. Traces of water were left in the tank. I cast a replenishment spell he created to solve droughts and a time reversal spell on the snow flake storage. It was that easy, but that's what's bugging me. Why would he do it when he knows he left me the key to reverse it? Furthermore, why did he just come into town like that afterward? Does he know I know it was him? Does he know I know he knows I know?"
Luna hugged her. "Sweetie, be careful, your gonna get stuck in a loop."
Twilight snuck in an appreciative smooch. "Thank you. I just wish I knew what he was up to. Is he...testing me for something?"
Luna took a deep breath and sat back up. "He might be trying to prepare you. See how quickly you apply his knowledge...in the event he uses it against you." Twilight sat up as well, putting a wing on her azure love. "I don't like the thought of you two fighting. Not just because of how important you both are to me, but because I've seen what he's capable of. When we fought in the dream realm, before we came to our senses, it took everything I had to hold him back. As you are now, I don't think you'd stand a chance." Twilight just gave her a deadpan look, which Luna answered with a wink and grin. "Which is why I'm going to train you."
Twilight sat up with a newfound motivation, very intrigued to where this conversation was heading.