Title: Dungeons And Dictators.
Description: Sombra and company play a fantasy role playing game with disastrous results.
Episode number: Four.
It was morning in Castle Sombra, and King Sombra was trying to eat his breakfast, which was Grilled Chicken Wings.
As he ate his breakfast, he watched General Monoceros, Air Chief Comet and Admiral Aerion argue.
Aerion had been eating his doughnuts for breakfast as he did everyday when Monoceros had said, "Admiral Aerion? I don't think it's healthy for you to eat doughnuts everyday."
Comet chimed in, "Yeah! I totally agree with General Monoceros."
Aerion swallowed his mouthful of doughnuts and said, "I can eat whatever I want."
"But it's not healthy at all!" the General exclaimed.
"I don't give a buck about healthy. I like- nay, love doughnuts, and it's the only thing I shall eat."
"But that's so boring! I mean, I used to like having cheese every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but I got so bored of it," said the Air Chief.
"Lies. All lies," said Aerion. "I know that the actual reason you stopped eating cheese all the time was because General Monoceros, the oh-so-healthiest-of-us-all kept telling you every day about how unhealthy it was. Even when you told him to stop talking and he stopped, you knew that he was still giving you the stink eye from across the table. So eventually, you just said 'buck cheese' and got rid of it all."
Comet turned red with embarrassment. "T-that's not true!" he stuttered.
Flashback:
A much younger Air Chief Comet grins as he eats yet another bowl of melted cheese. "Ah," he smiles in delight, taking in the delicious smell of the cheese, "I love this."
General Monoceros looks away from his very healthy breakfast and says with his nose in the air, "Air Chief Comet! Do you know how unhealthy it is to eat cheese every day for lunch, breakfast, and dinner?! It is so unhealthy, that I'm unable to eat my extremely healthy breakfast because of you!"
"General Monoceros, with all due respect, we've already talked about this. I am Air Cheese Comet, so I must eat cheese all the time. Just like how Admiral Aerion always eats his donuts!"
"But Comet, King Sombra mistakenly called you Air Cheese Comet. It was supposed to be Chief, not Cheese!"
"General Monoceros, I beg you, please stop talking about this."
Monoceros sighs. "As you wish, Air Chief."
A few days later...
Air Chief Comet smiles as he eats his breakfast of cheese. But today, he feels like someone is staring at him. He looks up to see that General Monoceros is giving him the stink eye from across the table, which is the same thing he had done for the last couple of days.
Sighing, Comet stands up on the table, and bucks his bowl of melted cheese away. The bowl and the spoon land in the very conveniently placed dustbin, and Monoceros smiles.
End of flashback.
"Is."
"Is not."
"Is."
"Is not."
"Is."
"Is not."
Monoceros interuppted them as he was getting a headache from their bickering. "It's true! I'm so sorry Comet," he sobbed pathetically. "I made you hate the only thing you loved!" He continued to cry.
At this, King Sombra laughed and shot a few times into the air with his special attention gathering gun.
"Everypony!" he began. "I know that the past few weeks have been very boring as all we've been doing is sweating to death in this heat even though we're in the bucking Crystal Empire. So... We shall play this game which is called- Dungeons And Dictators!"
Comet applauded. "Yay!" He then got a paper and pen and wrote... "Is this how you spell Dungeons And Dictators?" he asked.
Monoceros took a look at the paper and literally fainted as soon as he saw what was written upon it.
Aerion laughed when he saw that, and then asked for the paper.
Comet gave it to him, and the Admiral threw a couple of donuts in his mouth before reading the paper.
He turned to Comet and proceeded to spit all his donuts onto the Air Chief.
"What the buck did you write?! Dungeons And Dicktasters?!"
"Isn't that how you spell Dungeons And Dictators?" Comet asked.
"No!" King Sombra, Admiral Aerion, and General Monoceros (who had woken up from his faint) all yelled at once.
"Then like this?" Comet crossed it out and wrote it again.
Aerion threw some more donuts into his mouth and then checked. "Dungeons And Dicks?! No!"
Before the Air Chief could try and spell it again, Radiant Hope walked in to see...
Comet holding a piece of paper and a pen with his face covered in chewed up and spat out donuts, Aerion trying to pull the paper off him, General Monoceros unconscious on the ground, and King Sombra leaning back in his chair and watching all the chaos.
"What in King Sombra's name is going on here?!" Hope asked.
But with all the chaos going on, nopony heard her. So she made a small magical explosion and screamed, "What the buck in King Sombra's name is going on here?!"
The three stallions stopped fighting, and King Sombra sat up.
"Ah, Hope, so nice to see you," Aerion began.
"We definitely weren't fighting," Comet lied.
General Monoceros regained his consciousness and said, "I swear that I wasn't fighting."
"I can tell you that they were fighting," King Sombra said, smiling. "We got bored, and I decided to play Dungeons and Dictators. But then that idiot Comet decided to try and spell it, and well, you can see for yourself and guess why we were fighting."
Hope levitated a very torn piece of paper away from Comet's hooves, and began to read what he had written.
When she was done, she said, "Comet, I thought you knew how to spell. But after seeing this, I think you need to go to school and learn how to spell."
"But there aren't any schools around here!" Comet wailed. "His Majesty destroyed them all!"
Hope was about to say something, when King Sombra said, "I know. So why don't you be a good colt and don't spell any bucking thing?"
"Can somepony at least tell me how to spell Dungeons and Dictators?" Comet asked.
"It's spelt like this," Hope began. "D-u-n-g-e-o-n-s a-n-d D-i-c-t-a-t-o-r-s."
"Oh! It's that game!" Comet gave a sigh of relief. "And here I thought that we'd all had to take turns to taste King Sombra's dick or suck it while in a dungeon. Though, I really wouldn't have minded it that was the case."
Everypony stared at Comet. "What?" he asked. "Isn't that what King Sombra would make us do if he was bored? And isn't it every mare and stallion's dream to suck the King's dick?"
King Sombra sighed. "Comet, you're an idiot. Just go back to sleep and come when you've got enough."
The red faced Comet was more than happy to do this. "Okay," he agreed, before skipping out of the room.
There was silence for a while, until Admiral Aerion spoke, "So, what should we all do now?"
"That was enough entertainment for me, so Aerion, you can go have a shower and eat your donuts, and Monoceros, you can... I don't know. Go have a nap."
The two stallions left the room, leaving Hope and Sombra alone.
Hope smiled at Sombra. "And what should I do?"
"You can... Follow me to my bedroom, love."
Hope blushed as she followed him. Sombra lay on his bed, and motioned for Hope to do the same.
"Hope, I've always had feelings for you. You are such a wonderful mare, full of kindness and love. So, you are now my doctor and my... Um, what's that word again? Secretary? I think so. So you're now my doctor and the pony who will show me everything I need to do."
Hope's face turned from happy to disappointed. "That's all?" she asked. "You haven't got any confessions to make?"
"What kind of confessions? Did you expect me to tell you that it was I who messed up your room when you were sleeping? Or I who hid your favorite breakfast?"
Hope said, "Buck you!" and then left the room to cry, leaving a very confused King Sombra.