//------------------------------//
// Reliving Memories 
// Story: It's Just Us 
// by Spyder27 
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Chapter III: Reliving Memories


Of course, the most recent set of activities and Q&A turned out to be really boring, but it was once again mandatory. Thankfully, everything they have during this convention takes place during the night time, so it’s not that difficult to try and catch up on sleep during the day. Tonight, though, may be different. For some reason, I promised my time to her… I promised to let her speak her piece tonight with me, but I don’t know how long that will take. The worst part is that I know my heart is going to hurt again, just like last night… As nice as the dance felt, it hurts on the inside. I don’t know why… I shouldn’t even feel anything considering she’s just a stranger now. Though, it’s hard to say she’s a stranger considering the fact that she hasn’t changed that much… I knew I drank too much whiskey. That has to be the reason I was stupid enough to let her dance with me and convince me to talk. What the hell does she even have to say after all this time? There’s not much to say… Every word is just going to bring back more memories.
Cupping some water in my hands, I gently wash my face with a sigh leaving my lips, glad to finally be out of my dress. The white t-shirt I threw on has some light wrinkles on it, making it look used. The pajama pants I have on have taco prints all over it due to it being a birthday present from Sonata. She seems to love those kinds of things… As soon as she sees something that can show her love for tacos or burritos, she’s willing to buy it. Unfortunately, that means the tablecloth we have at our apartment also has a similar print. 
A knock at the door of my room can barely be heard from here, but it causes me to take a deep breath regardless. “Just a moment!” I call out, brushing the hair out of my face. It’s showtime… Just take deep breaths and you’ll get through this. It’s fine… Walking out of the bathroom, I close my eyes for a moment, thinking of what this night is going to hold for the both of us… Grabbing the doorknob quietly, I unlock the door, feeling my nerves fire up throughout my body. A part of me feels like I’m going to throw up, but I try to resist the nerves, taking another breath before twisting the doorknob.
Looking outside, my eyes can immediately recognize the figure standing before me, her smile and kind gaze still present. Surprisingly, she’s still dressed in her formal red dress, meaning she either wasted no time in coming here or she wanted to look punctual, making me feel underdressed. I mean, it’s my room, so I suppose it doesn’t really matter. “Hey, Adagio~ May I come in?” Sunset asks as politely as she can, holding her own hand. Opening the door wider and stepping to the side, I bring my hand out, gesturing for her to walk in. 
“Make yourself at home,” I quietly respond, closing the door behind her and making sure to lock it. Sunset’s eyes look around the hotel room, nodding slowly at her surroundings with a slight chuckle.
“It doesn’t seem you unpacked that much, huh?” 
A slow scoff leaves my mouth, followed by my own chuckle. “I didn’t see much reason to do that. I’m only going to be here for five days.” My words make Sunset’s gaze return to me with a confused expression, her eyes slightly wider. 
“Wait. Five days? But the convention lasts seven days,” Sunset states in a confident and confused manner, her eyes still watching me as I walk by her towards my bed. 
“They didn’t need me to be here for the last couple days, so I am going to leave earlier. It’s not that hard to understand.” Honestly, it makes me think whether or not Sunset is going to be here for the full seven days. If so, then there shouldn’t be some awkward goodbye. That’s a good thing… 
Opening the window’s curtains and sitting down on my bed, I look towards Sunset, beckoning her to come sit beside me. It’s best to get this done with as soon as possible to avoid any unnecessary pain… “So, you’re leaving the day after tomorrow…?” Sunset slowly asks me, taking a seat next to me. Despite her gaze, I keep my eyes on the night sky and the landscape shown from outside my window. 
“Yeah, but let’s not focus on that,” I whisper slowly, taking in the beautiful lights. Looking at Sunset would be a bit… hard right now. Whatever this conversation is going to be about is surely going to make me feel awkward and I don’t know if I could quite keep my composure with direct eye contact. A small sigh leaves both of us as we look out the window. Even though there’s no beautiful colors to see, the night sky is still nice to look at every now and then.
“You still like looking at the horizon, huh?” Sunset says quietly, her head turning back to me. “You always did back then~ I suppose it’s nice to see that you still do these cute things~” A happy breath comes from her as she gently nudges my body in a playful manner, giggling to herself. In reality, both of us haven’t changed that much. At some points, it feels like no time has passed at all, torturing me even more to know the truth. It’s been a long time since we were young and in love… We should have moved on by this point, but Sunset still loves chocolate and gives the goofiest grins to her own jokes. 
“Let’s brush past the small talk, Sunset,” I quietly whisper, finally looking back at her. “What do you want to talk about? You fought so hard for my time and you’ve finally got it, so let’s hear it.” A solemn look comes across the usually optimistic person before she directs her gaze to the ground, fidgeting with her hands slowly.
“You must really want me gone, huh…? Well, I… understand.” A heavy sigh exits her lips, sitting there and trying to think of what to say to me. “Honestly, I kinda wanted to talk about… our previous relationship,” she states with a small smile, her eyes connecting with mine once more. 
“What is there to be said? I thought everything was said back then.” Despite my intent, my words come off harsher than I mean them too, causing me to clear my throat. “Sorry. I mean… What’s on your mind?” Sunset’s followed the rules so far, so she deserves more respect than that… 
“Well, I… Do you remember how our relationship was? How many good memories we made together and the smiles we shared?” she asks genuinely, turning her whole body towards me slightly. Remember? How could I not? Every one of those memories has haunted me for a while now… It was the best time of my life, but it came to an end. There’s not much use for happy memories that just cause you to feel worse… 
“Yeah… I do,” I barely say, keeping my eyes on the night sky ahead of me…
“It was… some of the best times in my life, honestly~” Sunset responds with a happy tone to her voice. “I remember sharing ice cream at the beach and going to the amusement park half drunk because we thought it would be a good idea~ I remember you giving me a piggyback ride for my birthday and taking me out to the movies~” Every word that comes out of her mouth progressively sounds happier and happier, seemingly reminiscing about our shared experiences. “I… remember how you said ‘I love you.’”
Standing up and walking towards the window, I try to avoid looking at her just so I can keep the remnants of composure that I have left. “What’s the point, Sunset? Was this talk just to go down memory lane and could-have-been’s?” 
“Well, no, I-” Sunset cuts herself off, trying to think of the right words before she continues. “When we broke up, it hurt a lot… For a while, I couldn’t think straight and I couldn’t help but cry. I tried to date other people in the meantime, but none of those endeavors ever worked out like we did. It took a long time for me to feel better about it and realize that we had a good relationship back then,” Sunset slowly states, her tone sounding insecure.
“Do you think you were the only one who was hurt by that…?” my mouth speaks involuntarily, the words coming out before I can stop myself to think of what to say. Damn it, Adagio… You should have just shut up.
“No, that’s… why I wanted to talk. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other and I know that it hurt you too. From the way you’re acting, it’s evident.” Walking over to my side, Sunset gently places her hand on the glass, looking out at the city below. “I just wanted to say… that you deserve good things. No matter what happens, you’re a good person and I hope you have a good life~” Sunset’s hand slowly moves over to my cheek, holding it as gently as she can. “Our break up wasn’t your fault and you deserve to know that you’re still a good person~”
“It was our fault,” I slowly respond, closing my eyes to avoid the urge to tear up. Keep your walls up, Adagio… “Our relationship was a good one, true, but we both caused the end of it… You always treated yourself like a martyr, never trusting me with your negative emotions and always blaming yourself.” 
“And you always put me before yourself, sacrificing the things you wanted to do for what I wanted,” Sunset quickly interjects after my statement, taking her hand away from me. “You were afraid of commitment because you thought you would hurt me… In reality, it’s our break up that hurt more than anything you did.” For a moment, I hear Sunset take a breath as if she is going to say something, only for a long silence to follow, both of us not daring to look at each other. 
“You also always tried to make me feel better, just like you’re trying to do now. You always told me I deserved more and tried to be there to support me,” I whisper, keeping my gaze at the streets below. Sunset’s head turns back to me, seemingly surprised by my words, being one of the only kind things I’ve let myself say this entire trip.
“You always made sure to bring a smile to my face with your stupid antics~” Sunset pitches in, both of us chuckling slightly to her joke. “You made sure to get me a gift for every special occasion, even though the best gift was you being there in general~” 
“And then you tried to outdo me the next time, leading to awkward present exchanges~” Another few kind words leave my mouth by instinct. At this point, I don’t know why I’m saying these things or even allowing Sunset and I to relive good days, but I can’t help but go with the flow… Trying to fight it would be even harder… Maybe it’d be better to just deal with the pain these memories bring for her sake. 
“Do you remember the dinosaur stuffed animal I bought you?” Sunset happily asks with a sentimental look coming to her face. 
“The one you bought because I was ‘too grumpy’ after my surgery?” I ask quietly, a little curious as to what she was meaning. Honestly, I forgot about the stuffed animal and when she bought it, but her bringing it up makes brief flashes come to my mind. 
“Yeah, that one~” she chuckles in response to my question, her smile bigger than before. It’s that smile I couldn’t forget all this time, despite how much I tried… It’s this kind attitude that I thought about constantly and the pure happiness in the moments we shared… I tried so hard to push these memories away for a good reason. Every time I let myself revel in the happy feelings of one, it hurts to remember that it all ended so long ago… Someone who meant so much to me… Yet now we have to live on without each other. 
“What’s your point, Sunset?” I barely say, breaking the silence with my quiet and solemn words. “There’s something else you want to say. What is it?”
“Eh? I…” Sunset stumbles over her words, trying to formulate something to say. Her stutters show her hesitancy to end this conversation or to actually tell me what she wants to… I can already feel the same urge for my voice to crack or to let tears well up, but I keep up the facade of being unaffected. “When I saw you the day before yesterday… I couldn't believe that you were here. I had thought about you ever since the day we broke up and…” Sunset stops herself and looks out the window slowly, taking deep breaths. “To see that you haven’t changed made me… No, that’s not right…” Briefly, she takes a moment to try and clear her throat, bringing her hand to her chest. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you, Adagio… I couldn’t stop thinking of the memories we shared together and… I really wanted to tell my truth before we had to leave, no matter the consequences.” With each passing word, Sunset’s voice becomes weaker and weaker, her eyes avoiding mine. “You were the best person in my life, Adagio… I find myself missing those days a lot and…” Finally meeting my gaze, I see tears well up in Sunset’s eyes, still trying to be brave with a small smile still present… “I still love you, Adagio… I never stopped loving you. I know you don’t share my feelings… You’ve been trying to get me off your back this whole trip, but… I just wanted to tell you that you’re a truly good person and I still love you. Maybe I can finally feel better if I just admit that and all…” Sunset takes a couple steps away from the window, turning her back to me as she wipes her eyes, presumably trying desperately to hold on to control. “I’m sorry I was a martyr back then… You deserved better and you still deserve love. Please remember that,” Sunset barely says, walking past the bed and picking up her purse. I can hear Sunset take a deep breath from here, finally looking back to me as I fully turn my back to the night sky. “I’ve said my piece now. As I promised, I won’t bother you for the rest of the trip… Please have a happy life, Adagio,” Sunset states with a small smile she fought to keep up, her hand giving me a small wave…
Why does she always have to push her way into my life…? Why do I always feel so helpless to the sight of her crying? I should hate her… We should be nothing to each other, but clearly, we still remember… We still think about each other for some damn reason. Is this fate’s humor? Torturing two souls into seeing each other once more, even though it’s obvious that it can’t work out for us? Too much time has passed and we both know it would cause too much pain… Yet my heart feels so conflicted once again. Damn it… Sunset truly was the love of my life, making it all the more painful that things could never go back to how they were. Things are too different now, despite how much I may wish not… No matter how much I try to convince myself that I hate her, my heart screams the opposite, my mind bringing back memories of her way too often… Nothing has changed, yet everything has. Her kind eyes still have a way to bring out emotions in me, but they aren’t mine anymore… 
Would it really be that wrong to let us talk a bit more…? If this stupid fucking trip is supposed to be torture for the two of us, why not indulge in it? “Sunset?” I call out for her before she grabs the doorknob, causing her to meet my gaze again. “You can… talk to me again tomorrow. If you want,” I quietly state, not even thinking before I let the words flow from my mouth. Sunset’s smile grows wider and her tears seem to multiply as she nods, seemingly happy by my choice of words. 
“I’d love that,” she agrees with a slight stutter.
“One more thing,” I say before she can open the door, locking our eye contact. “You… can bother me during tomorrow’s events. We can even share a table.” Why not indulge in the torture, right?
“I look forward to it~” Sunset says with a happy expression, wiping away her tears slowly before she walks through my door, closing it in the process. Fate has a funny way of making lives worse…