//------------------------------// // Having A Party // Story: Romancing The Stone // by AlwaysDressesInStyle //------------------------------// Of course, Auntie Twilight was no fool. She knew I was almost as friendless as Cozy Glow. Perhaps even more so, since there were plenty of ponies who wanted the attention of a princess. Parents who wished for their foals to be my best friend in the whole world, mostly for the prestige it would bring them. I didn’t attend a public school. I’d suggested it many times over the years, but my parents refused to even consider the idea. As absurd as it sounds, I’m a filly who wants to go to school. Unheard of, right? But it gets boring here in the castle. Sure, Sunburst tutors me occasionally when he isn’t helping run the School of Friendship with his wife, Starlight Glimmer. My crystalparents, the ones who’d take over my ‘care’ in the event something happened to my real parents. Most of the time though, I have stuffy old Gilded Cage as my teacher. He’s boring. I don’t doubt that he knows a lot, but he can’t teach to save his life. He couldn’t hold my attention if he locked it up in a shiny golden cage like the one decorating his flank. And that’s what it feels like most of the time when I’m in ‘school’ – like being trapped in a cage. I want to interact with other ponies my age. I want to make awesome friends like Auntie Twilight did and go on amazing adventures with them. There was no better reminder of my situation than my birthday party. I was the only one there under the age of thirty. It was an epic party, worthy of a princess, but one would expect no less considering it was thrown by Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie. I was now twelve. Twelve and alone in a sea of adults. I did my best to capture the attention of the cool adults. Rainbow Dash was a Wonderbolt. A racer. A celebrity. A hero! I want to be like her when I grow up. I could be the first ever Wonderbolt Princess! Rainbow was never far from the buffet table or the punch bowl, and I made my way towards her. I grabbed one of the cups and filled it with the fruit punch. Pinkie never divulges her recipes, but this is far and away better than anything the chefs in the Crystal Palace know how to make. “Happy birthday, Squirt.” She tousled my hair. Even the coolest pony in the room is treating me like a foal. I rolled my eyes, but made no attempt to fix my hair. Rainbow did nothing with her own mane, so I followed her lead, letting it stay mussed up. “Thanks!” It was all I could really say. I had nothing else interesting to lead into a conversation, and her attention was already elsewhere. Rainbow was hard to pin down to any one spot for long. The Wonderbolt drifted away into the crowd, and instead I set my sights on Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was always silly and happy. Certainly she could spare a few minutes to chat with the birthday girl. “Oh! Somepony’s trying to sneak up on me! You’ve got to do it sneakier than that, silly-willy. And then when you get close, you’ve gotta wiggle your rump like a cat and pounce on me.” I wiggled my rump and leapt upon the party planner, and she giggled and tumbled to the floor in mock surprise. “Thank you. It’s a great party.” “No it isn’t.” Pinkie’s smile faded almost imperceptibly. “You’re not happy. The party is for you, so you’re the one who’s supposed to be happy, not everypony else.” She whispered, “I tried to get some other kids in, but your folks wouldn’t let me.” That wasn’t surprising in the least. But at least Pinkie Pie still had her playfulness. She hadn’t grown up nearly as much as the other adults. “Maybe next year?” Her smile faltered. “I’ll keep trying, but I can’t make any promises.” She tapped a hoof to her chin in contemplation. “You know what will turn your frown upside down?” “No? What?” “Oh! Oh! Oh! I know the answer! I know the answer!” “You asked the question.” She gigglesnorted. “That I did! It’s time for presents!” She shouted that last word, drawing the attention of everypony in the room. I opened Rarity’s gift first. Out of all the ponies in attendance, she was one of the few with a good track record of giving great gifts. Sure, it was always clothing, but it was always nice clothing made especially for me. Inside the box was a formal ball gown, and I immediately slipped it on. It fit perfectly, as if I’d expect anything else from Rarity. I curtseyed and thanked her. This would very likely be my favorite gift this year. Though if anypony could give Rarity a run for the money, it was Pinkie Pie. I was mystified when I opened her present to find several bottles of Mane ‘n Tail shampoo, soap, combs, and assorted other hygiene products. “Uh? Are you trying to tell me something?” Pinkie Pie shrugged. “I was really struggling with what to get you this year. You’re in that awkward transition between filly and mare, and I didn’t want to get you anything you’d outgrow in a few months. So I checked in with the best gift givers I know, even if it meant a long trip up to the Frozen North, and they were confident this was the perfect gift for you this year. I’m sorry if it isn’t?” “No, no, no, it’s fine. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t think I smelled bad or something.” “Of course not, you silly filly!” When everypony else’s attention was elsewhere, I discreetly took a few sniffs of myself just to make sure. I certainly didn’t seem rank… But maybe I was just used to it and couldn’t smell it? What did they call that? Nose blind? Applejack got me Sweet Apple Acres cider. Nothing surprising about that, but it sure was tasty. Fluttershy got me a kitten plush toy. It was cute, and I’m sure she would’ve given me a real kitten if she thought my parents wouldn’t object to it. Speaking of my parents, their gift was a necklace with a crystal pendant of my cutie mark. It was awesome, and I immediately put it on. Between this and the new dress I felt so very pretty. “An autographed picture! Thanks, Rainbow Dash!” It was the same thing she’d gotten me the year prior. And the year before that. Honestly, I liked the Rainbow Dash Wonderbolt action figure she gave me the year before that better, though. I guess she thought I was too old for that now. Everypony was always in a hurry for me to grow up. “And there’s one last gift from your Auntie Sparkle.” I could already guess what it would be: a book. Sure, Rainbow Dash’s gifts were always Wonderbolt-themed, specifically themed to her, but at least there was some variety. Action figures, posters, autographed photos… With Auntie Twilight, it was always a book. Always. I was surprised to see her motion to follow her. Oh great, it must be an entire set of encyclopedias. Wouldn’t want me to be left uneducated, would she? I love my auntie, I really do. But despite all the epic adventures she’s been on, she seems to struggle with the concept of something as simple as fun. The present for me to unwrap was significantly larger than a book. It was far larger than even an entire set of the Encyclopedia Equestria. It was almost as big as I was. You could’ve heard a pin drop when the room got a good look at what was inside. “Is that…?” Rarity clutched at her chest, dramatically. “Twilight Marie Sparkle!” Grandma Velvet wasn’t pleased. I know Auntie Twilight’s middle name now. I recognized the smallest part of my favorite statue though. But why was Cozy Glow’s terrified face looking out at me? “Auntie?” “I thought that instead of giving you a book this year, I’d give you something a little different. You’re twelve now, and it seems like a good time to entrust you with a friendship mission that even I couldn’t succeed in. But you’re not me. And I’ve been thinking about it, and I think that if anypony in all of Equestria could teach Cozy Glow friendship, it’s you. If you’d rather have a book instead, I have one picked out…” “No, no, no, this is fine.” Better than fine. I get my own friend! Mom and Dad looked uncomfortable with this whole situation. How dangerous had one pegasus filly truly been to be this deeply feared by every adult in the room? Especially considering that almost everypony here wielded incredible magical abilities. Every single alicorn in the world was in the room with me. The fastest pegasus alive was here. My crystalparents were present, and Starlight was likely the most powerful unicorn alive, and her husband, Sunburst, knew more spells than anypony even if he couldn’t cast many of them personally. Dad had his protection spell he could wield in the event of an emergency. Even my paternal grandparents were no slouches in the magic department. Spike could overpower her with brute strength if needed. If Cozy Glow stepped out of line for even a second she’d be incapacitated before she could take a single step. They were probably more concerned with what might happen to me after they all returned to their homes, forgetting that as the first natural alicorn I had more magic than all of them combined. My magic lessons were primarily focused on containing my powers rather than actually using them. “And while I know there will be some objections due to your age, that’s precisely why I’m giving you this opportunity now. You’re her age. Maybe you can relate to her in a way the rest of us couldn’t. Perhaps more importantly, you weren’t there. You don’t hold the same biases the rest of us do. Yes, even myself. Especially myself. She was my student assistant once. And I failed her.” “Beg pardon, Twi, but don’t you mean she failed you?” “No, Applejack. We were her teachers. She was right there under our snouts and none of us realized she needed help. We failed her. I have faith that Flurry Heart won’t. I know this is unconventional, but I have a good feeling about this.” My parents were giving her death glares. Considering how close she was to both of them, that was disconcerting. “Before I release her, I need to talk to Flurry Heart. Alone.” Twilight glanced around the room. “I know most of you don’t agree with me on this. But if we don’t at least offer Cozy Glow the chance to see friendship as something more than a means to an end, are we any better than she is?” “I’d reckon we are, sugarcube, on account o’ not trying to rid the world of magic or take over Equestria multiple times. Just sayin’.” She held up her hooves before Auntie Twilight could interrupt her. “But you’re the Princess of Friendship, and if y’all think she can change, I’ll support you. Sometimes it takes a lot of kindness to show somecreature the path to friendship.” Fluttershy nodded in agreement. “I, um, I think I see where you’re coming from Twilight. It worked for Discord, and Cozy Glow is still at her core a pony. She shouldn’t be as hard to change. But if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to be in the other room when you release her. Please?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Fluttershy? I mean Tirek or Chrysalis I could understand, but Cozy Glow’s not a physical threat to any of us without some kind of magical artifact of some sort or another. Like the one in the latest Daring Do book, where there’s this…” Twilight zipped the pegasus’ mouth shut with a zipper spell. “Spoilers, Rainbow Dash. I haven’t had a chance to read it yet since I’ve been busy making preparations for this.” The zipper disappeared and Rainbow apologized. “Right, sorry. Anyway, my point is, if she attempts a break for it, I can chase her down, or any of the gifted mages here could restrain her, or one of the earth ponies could jump her. She only gets dangerous when she starts talking. ‘Oh golly, gee, I didn’t mean to make such a big mess. Can you ever forgive me? Pwease?’” “Dashie’s right. And if she sees all of us glaring at her like meanie-mean-pants’, she may decide to stay a meanie-mean-pants.” “I do believe what Pinkie’s trying to say is anypony who doesn’t feel they can be sincerely happy to see her again should perhaps wait in the other room with Fluttershy.” Rarity put on her game face. “I refuse to give the little brat the satisfaction of seeing me cower before her. None of us trust her. I doubt any of us could ever trust her. Even if she truly changes, how do you expect ponies to believe anything a habitual liar says? Celestia left Discord in stone for over a millennium until ponies forgot he even existed. It’s only been a decade. Nopony’s had a chance to forget Cozy Glow yet.” After listening to her friends eventually rally to her side, Auntie Twilight pulled me into one of the empty rooms, going so far as to put a silence bubble around us. She really didn’t want anypony overhearing us, not even my parents. “Flurry Heart, if you’re uncomfortable with this, you’re under no obligation. I’ll put her back in the garden with the rest of them and forget about redeeming her until a better opportunity comes along.” I gulped. “I don’t know. I mean she’s just a filly like me, but everypony here is terrified of her. I didn’t realize she was that scary.” “She uses her age and her adorableness to get what she wants. I could never entrust this to an adult. The ones who remember what she did would never give her the chance to change her ways, while the ones who don’t remember her crimes would only enable her to start all over again. Rather, it seems the best chance she has is a filly her own age. Somepony cuter than she could ever hope to be.” I blushed. “Furthermore, I could never let a pony without generous reserves of mana be near her. Somepony needs to be able to stop her. Between you and your honor guard, you can handle her. She’s deceitful. I have no doubt she’ll go right back to scheming the minute she’s out of that stony prison. Part of me wonders if releasing her is truly a good idea. If I was doing it solely for her benefit, I’d probably take Rarity’s suggestion and wait a few centuries until she’s buried in the history texts. But I have ulterior motives.” I looked up at Auntie Twilight. Scheming wasn’t normally in her nature. “You’ve probably spent more time playing with that statue than you have playing with fillies or colts your own age. I love my brother and Cadence very much, but they’re overprotective. When I was your age, I couldn’t be bothered to make friends and that was my choice. I was wrong, but it was my decision to make. That’s not you. You’re a filly who wants to make friends, but your parents won’t let you. Not out of maliciousness, but out of looking out for your best interests. Cozy Glow has no family that we know of, so nopony’s going to be using her to gain influence for themselves. Even if things don’t work out with Cozy Glow, maybe they’ll be more willing to let you try making friends with others instead once they get used to you hanging out with another filly your own age.” “Does that mean you won’t be mad if I can’t help her?” Auntie Twilight smiled that goofy smile she has. That awkward hesitation her lips have, as if being forced to curve upwards is unknown territory for them. Likely brought on by too much isolation and studying. You know, like me. I hope my smiles don’t look that weird to everypony else. “Of course not. Cozy Glow is a special case. She may be incapable of making friends entirely, and I certainly can’t hold that against you. I couldn’t reach her, nor could any of my friends. So if you can’t get her to see the light, you’re in good company. But if you can…” Her smile grew, passing the awkward stage and flowing into something more natural. She tousled my mane. “…Maybe Cozy Glow can get through to Tirek and Chrysalis. I could do with one less statue in the Royal Gardens. What do you think?” “Are there any other ponies trapped in the garden?” I couldn’t help myself. I blurted the question out without even thinking about it first. I covered my mouth with my hooves, as if that could take the words back. Twilight paled. “I… I don’t know. I never asked. Most of the pony statues are oversized, too big to be real ponies.” “But there are some life-sized ponies.” Twilight nodded. “I’ll make it a point to speak with Celestia while she’s here. If there are …other ponies… trapped in stone, I intend to help them too. Not right away, of course. I’d have to find out who they are, what they did, and then wait for an opportunity to come along. Sort of like this. You’re only going to be Cozy Glow’s age once, and I think you’re the right filly for the job. You’re outgoing, you want friends. You’re smart enough not to be fooled by all her tricks. You’re strong enough magically to stop her even if she does manage to pull the wool over your eyes. If she does, don’t think of it as a failure. She outwitted me too. And if she manages to best you physically somehow… I’ve authorized your guards to use lethal force on her.” Auntie Twilight looked as if she was going to turn visibly ill. “You mean the world to me, Flurry. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” None of the princesses supported the death penalty. That was why Tartarus and petrification spells existed in the first place. If she was willing to throw one of her core values out the window, it meant that even Auntie Twilight was worried about this. I did the only thing I could do – I hugged her. “It won’t come to that. I promise.” “I have faith in you.” She nuzzled me. “Come on, let’s get back to your party. You have a gift to unpetrify.” The various conversations in the room quieted down the instant we returned. Every eye in the room was on the statue. Cozy Glow had been placed on her stomach, lying on the floor so as not to fall to the floor upon her release. It was a greater kindness than many of those gathered felt she deserved. But it was Twilight’s decision to make, and she’d made it. Most of the ponies looked nervous. Twilight went around to everyone individually, conversing with them and explaining what to do. Auntie Twilight stood directly in front of the petrified filly in our midst, while my parents stood on either side of her. They obviously disapproved of what she was doing, but they trusted her enough not to stop her. Celestia and Luna stood behind the statue, their faces as still as Cozy’s. Hiding their emotions was a trick honed from centuries experience in ruling, one I desperately wanted to learn myself. Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst stood to Cozy Glow’s left side, with Rarity across from them. Rarity’s face mirrored that of the princesses’, a mask concealing her true thoughts. Rainbow Dash hovered over the scene to prevent the filly from attempting to fly away, while Spike blocked the doorway to the rest of the castle. It was absurd. It was overkill along the lines of using three cans of whipped cream on one cupcake… That cupcake, and the pink mare who made it, were both within my field of vision. I was soooooo going to enjoy that particular dessert. Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich were the only two ponies in the room who truly looked happy at this turn of events. Knowing them, they were already planning a ‘you’ve been freed from stone’ party for her. The ever honest Applejack had excused herself, as had Fluttershy and my grandparents. Twilight lowered her horn and took aim at the statue, and with a sigh the other princesses followed her lead. Mom was the last, a look of resignation plastered on her face. She really needs to work on her poker face, especially if Cozy Glow really is as devious as everypony claims. I stood next to Rarity, lowered my head, and charged up my own horn as well. If she was going to be my responsibility, I felt obligated to help free her. Doubly so, since I was probably the only one who genuinely wanted to. Curiosity had finally overcome the fear of meeting this criminal. Was ‘criminal’ the right word? Or would ‘villain’ be more appropriate? It was too late to ask now. Eight beams of arcane energy struck the statue and it started cracking, releasing a pink pegasus filly with a curly blue mane from her stony sleep. She gasped, taking her first breath in years. “So…un…clean…” Her eyes darted around the room, catching those of the gathered ponies who’d remained behind to witness her extrication. “Cozy Glow, by royal decree I hereby…” She craned her neck up to look at the princess towering over her. “Oh golly, you got taller. And sparklier.” She shivered, but continued on, her voice scratchy from dryness and disuse. “Spare me the friendship speech. I will literally do anything not to be stoned like that ever again.” She closed her eyes. “I’m a germophobe. There’s no punishment you could have possibly conceived worse than this to me. I will never be clean ever again.” She looked down at the stone shards underneath her and shuddered. “Pigeons everywhere. I can still feel them. Please, if you have any mercy, I beg of you a long, hot shower and a one-way trip back to Tartarus. Just let me rot there, please.” “Cozy Glow, your coat was protected by a layer of stone. The pigeons weren’t roosting on you directly.” Whatever Twilight Sparkle had been expecting from the filly, this probably wasn’t it. “I could feel them. Please, I don’t care about your friendship offers or whatever other reason you have for freeing me. Just give me at least an hour in the hottest shower you have. And as much soap and shampoo as you can spare. No tricks, no escape attempts. I promise.” She was breaking down in tears. “I’ll never be clean ever again. Please, if you’re just going to turn me back to stone, keep my statue inside. I know you hate me, but can you grant me that one little mercy? In exchange I’ll offer you no resistance whatsoever.” “We’re not turning you back to stone, nor are we sending you back to Tartarus. You’re going to learn friendship for real this time.” Cozy Glow groaned. “How bad do you want that shower?” It took less than a second for any defiance left in the filly to crack. “Friendship it is, then. Shower first, please?” Auntie Twilight looked from the wretched filly on the floor to me. “Cozy Glow, by royal decree I hereby declare you turned over to the custody of Princess Flurry Heart for rehabilitation.” She nodded to me. “You can start by helping Cozy get clean.” She mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ while Cozy’s eyes were still shut. Her eyes flew open. “You’re Flurry Heart? Oh golly, you’re my age.” She did the math. “Eleven years.” She shuddered. “Eleven years of bird doo. Why didn’t Discord eradicate them when he had the chance?!? If I’d known this was going to happen to me, I would’ve done it myself when I stole his powers.” I was glad Fluttershy was in the other room. Hopefully she hadn’t heard that. For that matter, hopefully Discord hadn’t heard it. I was somewhat surprised he wasn’t here, but he always had a way of turning up when somepony spoke his name. Rainbow Dash landed and the princesses just turned and looked at one another in confusion. I’d spent enough time around all of them to know what they were thinking. They honestly couldn’t tell if the filly was being sincere or if this was yet another trick. It worried them. On a side note, Pinkie’s gift turned out to be precisely what I needed. Or rather, exactly what Cozy Glow needed. I spent the next hour scrubbing Cozy Glow as clean as equinely possible. Since I was helping her bathe, it wasn’t hard to finally get an answer as to what her cutie mark was: a rook. I guess that symbolized manipulation and strategy fairly well. She hadn’t even resisted my accompanying her to the shower. Like it or not, she’d have no privacy from here on out. Nopony was going to trust her left alone to her own devices. Certainly not me, even if she’d done nothing yet to earn my distrust. Two of my personal guards, both mares, kept their eyes on her the whole time. The rest of my honor guard secured the hallway to prevent anypony from disturbing us, and to prevent the highly unlikely escape of a waterlogged pegasus. Was she sincerely this disturbed by her punishment? Was this a ploy to separate herself from the most powerful of the gathered ponies to make an escape attempt? Or was she just trying to gain sympathy points with the ultimate sob story? She’d apparently had a lot of time to think while she was a statue. “So,” I said, trying to make conversation as I scrubbed her withers. “You’re a germophobe?” She nodded. “It’s why I hover everywhere. I don’t like walking on the ground. It’s icky and disgusting. I don’t have magic so I have to use these hooves to eat!” I nodded. I had never thought of it that way before, but of course I was fortunate enough to have magic. Auntie Twilight had mentioned something about Cozy Glow being potentially bigoted. She wasn’t entirely sure if that was something Cozy truly believed, or if it was just a method of exploiting those around her. Being jealous of unicorn magic would certainly give her some motivation for wanting to rob the world of magic. Maybe I could figure this filly out one piece of the puzzle at a time. My thoughts were interrupted as I took a stream of water right to the face. I sputtered, glaring at Cozy as she turned the shower head back towards herself. “What was that for?” “Because I’m ‘evil’. Everypony’s expecting me to do bad things, I wouldn’t want to disappoint them.” “You’re so gonna get it!” “What are you gonna do? Turn the hose on me? Ha! Joke’s on you, I’m already drenched!” I magically switched the hot water to cold, eliciting a squeak of surprise from her as she practically jumped out of the shower. “All right, you two, playtime’s over.” One of my guard detail turned the water off with her magic. “It’s been almost an hour and a half. Let’s get you both dry and then we can go back to the party.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure nopony’s been missing the birthday girl.” Cozy Glow gasped. “It’s your birthday?” She looked at her hooves. “Golly, I hope you can forgive me for not getting you anything.” I chuckled. “Technically, I think Twilight gave me you as a present. I don’t think she completely thought this one all the way through. But if it’s any consolation, you’re the best present she’s ever given me. Normally it’s a book.” She laughed. “Does she ever think things through? Put a book in front of her snout and you’ll never get her attention.” She sighed. “It wasn’t exactly hard to convince her she needed a student assistant.” “Gonna keep scheming?” She laughed. “I’ve already got three schemes and a gambit in progress.” “What’s a gambit?” “An opening move in chess where you sacrifice material in order to achieve better position. After all these years it’s time for a new game.” She huffed. “The other princesses are sore winners. But now the pieces have been reset and we’re in the opening moves.” “Why are you telling me all this?” She shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe I’m being nice and giving you pointers for a game you’ve never played. Maybe I’m just trying to get into your head before you can so much as take one of my pawns. Or maybe there’s no game and I just want to make you paranoid.” She smiled. “The world may never know.” I was starting to see why the adults didn’t like her. “Or you could just accept friendship.” “Where’s the fun in that? Friendship is power, but that ship has sailed, I’m afraid. Nopony will ever be my friend now. Alliances have proven just as useless, as my stony compatriots can attest to. But the third time’s the charm. I’ll win this time.” “Or die trying.” One of my guards spoke up. It was Moonracer, a mint green unicorn. She scowled at the filly. “None of us like you. You hurt the princess and you’ll be nothing but a bad memory.” “See? Like I said, nopony’s ever going to be my friend again.” She pouted. I had to admit, she was pretty good at the whole adorable thing. “But right now it’s show time. Let’s see just what the Princess of Dusty Old Books and Way Too Much Magic has to say.” The guards opened the door and we walked in. Half a dozen conversations came to a halt as we trotted up to Auntie Twilight. She was talking with my parents, who put on their biggest, fakest smiles when we approached. Cozy Glow sat on the floor directly in front of my aunt. She also plastered a smile on her face, and despite knowing Cozy’s was unauthentic, it still looked more genuine than any of the other smiles in the room. “Thank you for indulging me with that shower. Now let’s cut to the chase. Tell me why I’m here, and what you expect from me.” Cozy Glow was incredibly disrespectful, but that was to be expected from a villain such as her. Auntie Twilight took it in stride though. She smiled at the master manipulator. “You’re here so you can learn friendship. I expect you to behave.” “I always behave. Bad behavior is still behavior.” Auntie Twilight didn’t take the bait. “Cozy Glow, I’m giving you a chance despite my better judgement and against the advice of all my advisors.” She motioned around the room to her friends and the other princesses. “Let’s be honest, Headmare Twilight. You hold all the cards right now. But we both know I’m never going to stop scheming, and someday when you let your guard down I’ll be there to take advantage of it. I gave you the opportunity to send me back to Tartarus. I’m a mare of my word and I really did appreciate that shower. Send me back right now and I won’t put up a fight. But if you’re going to insist on this whole friendship thing, then you’re going to have to earn my redemption.” “That’s not really how reformation works, Cozy Glow. You have to earn your own redemption.” “I don’t do things the same way everypony else does. I would’ve thought you would’ve figured this out by now. If you want to see this work out the way you want it to, you’re going to have to earn it, not me. It may even require some sacrifices on your part.” “Your call, Flurry Heart. Should I send her to Tartarus, seal her in stone, or do you want to take a chance on this conniving megalomaniac? As you can see, she has no respect for authority.” “I don’t want your pity or your friendship! Just leave me alone!” Cozy Glow backed up against a wall. “Nopony will hold it against you if you decide to send her back to Tartarus.” “Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up!” I’d been wondering when Discord would show up. He was wearing a police uniform and dangling a pair of hoofcuffs. “This was supposed to be my birthday party, not a parole hearing.” I sighed. As always, what I wanted didn’t matter. All I wanted was a birthday party with fillies and colts my own age. There was precisely one pony here who fit that description, and she was Equestria’s most hated filly. She would just have to do. “Cozy Glow, put this on.” I teleported an old dress that no longer fit me into the room and hoofed it over to Cozy Glow. Even though we were the same age now, she was no alicorn, so she was smaller than me. My hoof-me-downs would fit her perfectly, even if the wing cutouts were a little bigger than she’d need. She glanced from me to the dress. “Why?” “Because as of right now, you’re my guest. You’ll act like you want to be here and everypony else will treat you like they’re happy to see you. Seriously, you’re acting like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum. And the rest of you aren’t acting any better. So you want my decision? I’m deciding that this is a birthday party and I want to have fun.” Once Cozy was wearing the dress, I took her hoof and led her to the dance floor. Pinkie Pie was always down for a party. It didn’t matter that one of the attendees was a vile traitor, she cranked happy, upbeat tunes for us to dance to. Cozy Glow wasn’t much of a dancer. She looked as out of place on the dancefloor as I felt at my own party. “Like this.” I demonstrated the dance’s steps, and she imitated my moves. It took her a few tries, but she was a fast learner. After a few dances, she was smiling. “What is this?” She motioned around the room to the party in general. “My birthday party.” “I know that, but I mean, this feeling. It’s almost like having fun, but there’s no gloating and no pile of defeated enemies begging for my mercy.” “You can have fun without gloating or, uh, ponies groveling for their lives.” She looked genuinely surprised at that. “Golly, I never realized that. Are there other ways to have fun?” “Of course there are.” “Golly. Though this would be better with more groveling.” “You really think so?” Cozy Glow nodded. “Well then.” I slipped into the Royal Canterlot Voice. “Listen up, everypony. Empress Cozy Glow demands you all grovel at her hooves.” I returned to normal volumes. “Let her have this.” To my surprise it was the least humble of all the ponies gathered who actually decided to go through with it. Rainbow Dash dropped in front of Cozy Glow, crawling on the floor. “Me? Grovel for your…” She coughed before continuing, “…for your mercy? You have no mercy. Make sure your next move kills me, or I’ll…” She coughed again. “…I’ll stop you.” “Such heroic nonsense. Your feistiness will get you nothing more than a death sentence.” Cozy mimed slashing her neck. “Next!” Pinkie Pie dropped down in front of the filly and gave her sad puppy eyes. “Pwease? I’ll be your best friend?” “That sounds like something I’d say. Hmn, did it work for me?” Pinkie shook her head. “Exactly.” Cozy once more mimed slashing her neck. “Next!” It was Fluttershy who next approached. Unlike her friends she didn’t drop to the ground in fake deference. Instead she reached out a hoof and slapped Cozy across the cheek. “How dare you.” Cozy winced at the blow. “Do you think this is all fun and games? Those are my friends you’re pretending to execute. I used to worry about you, a little filly all alone in Tartarus. I didn’t agree with locking you up, even if I didn’t see any other options. Look me in the eyes.” Fluttershy stuck a hoof under Cozy’s chin and forced her to look directly at her. “You will stop being a bully. You’ll stop being a power-mad would-be empress. You will be nice. You’ll behave, and by that I mean good behavior. Do you understand?” “I will stop being a bully and a power-mad would-be empress. I’ll be nice and on my best behavior.” The Stare. I never thought I’d see it in action. I also never dreamed Fluttershy would use it on a pony. It was pretty much mind control. But Fluttershy wasn’t done. She scooped the filly up in her hooves and held her, dropping to her haunches as she wrapped a wing around Cozy Glow. I could hear Cozy Glow sniffling as she cried on Fluttershy’s shoulders. “There, there, little one. It’ll be okay. You did some bad things but we’re giving you a second chance.” She patted her wing against Cozy’s back as the filly started wailing. “Shh, it’s going to be okay. You’re not a bad pony, you just made some bad decisions. You’re going to be a good filly from here on out and eventually everypony will forgive you.” With the wind taken out of my dancing partner’s sails, I guided her towards the refreshments. It had been years since she’d last eaten anything. Perhaps food would make her feel better. “I’ve been so bad. Why was I so bad?” “Only you can answer that.” “I don’t want to be bad anymore.” That was the Stare speaking and I knew it. Still, it would be nice if it were true. “Only you can change who you are. If you really want to be a better pony, how about you tell me what your current plans are?” “Gathering intelligence. I don’t have enough information to properly scheme yet. One objective attained: released from stone. Hopefully permanently?” “I promise you that if you have to be punished for some reason, we won’t leave you out in the garden again. If you’re turned into a statue again, it’ll be indoors. I’ll personally see to that, no matter what you do. Why so anxious to go back to Tartarus?” “Beats learning friendship.” “Not buying it.” Her façade cracked for a moment, but she put her game face back on. “I have no idea why you think I’d want to go to Tartarus.” “You mentioned you were running a gambit, and explained that requires a sacrifice. Since you have nothing, the only thing you could possibly sacrifice is yourself. And that got me to thinking. You go back into stone, you win. We both know Auntie Twilight would never be capable of leaving you a statue forever. I’m sure she’s already planning on how she could reform Tirek and Chrysalis too. It’s just how she rolls. So she frees you at some point in the future, after your misdeeds have been forgotten to history, and you start all over again. It would be easier to do it then, as opposed to now, because you’d be anonymous again.” “That sounds like something I’d do.” She smiled, and it looked genuine. “And here I thought Headmare Twilight was going to waste my time with somepony unworthy. Go on, tell me why I’d want to go back to Tartarus. I’m genuinely curious to see how much you’ve figured out.” “I have nothing but speculation. Either you have a way to get out, or you stashed something there that Discord didn’t bring with you when he bailed you out. Maybe even both.” I paused. I wasn’t sure just how much to reveal. Maybe I was giving her too much credit as is, or perhaps I was still underestimating her as badly as everypony else had done. One way to find out. “Or, conversely, you were trying to employ reverse psychology on Auntie Twilight in the hope she’d leave you here, amongst the royal family of the Crystal Empire, where your misdeeds aren’t quite as well-known as they are elsewhere around Equus, without actually agreeing to the part about learning friendship. And that’s only what I can guess based on what I know. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have another dozen plans in place based on the success or failure of your current ploys.” Cozy Glow clopped her front hooves in appreciation. “Well done, my new little nemesis.” “I’d prefer to be your new friend.” Cozy Glow grinned at me. “There’s only one way to become my friend. I mean, for real.” “And that is?” “I can’t spoon feed you all the answers. You’re a very clever little filly. If anypony ever figures it out, I’m sure it’ll be you.” “Are you really under the effect of the Stare right now or are you just playing?” “That’s a good question. Do you trust me?” “About as far as I can throw you.” “And how far is that, anyway? Your father once threw your mother to save the Crystal Empire. True story.” I’d heard them talk about that. Mom still razzed Dad about it periodically. “Let’s find out.” I grabbed Cozy Glow in my aura and trotted over to the window. I unceremoniously dropped Cozy into one of my hooves, then I let my foreleg fall back before whipping it forward. She went sailing out of the castle. “Looks like I can throw you pretty far.” Then I noticed her flapping her wings for all she was worth. “And she’s making a break for it. Of course.” Auntie Twilight patted my shoulder as Rainbow Dash leapt through the window to retrieve the retreating pegasus. “Welcome to the club. She’s played all of us like that at one time or another.” “So does this mean the Stare didn’t work on her?” “Probably.” Rainbow Dash returned shortly with a squirming Cozy Glow tucked under her foreleg. “Let me go!” “Yeah, I don’t think so.” Cozy Glow pouted but went nowhere until Rainbow presented her to me. “I believe this belongs to you? There are leash laws you know.” Cozy Glow grumbled, but my aura restrained her from going anywhere, or from lashing out at either Dash or myself. “So we meet again, Miss Glow.” “Golly, you sure did throw me far! You must really, really trust me!” I rolled my eyes. “Nice try, Cozy Glow. But seriously, let’s be rational about this. Where do you expect to go where nopony would recognize you? Do you honestly think you could so much as trot down the block without having the Royal Guards called on you?” “There are places I could go. Maybe.” “There are little calves in Yakyakistan who know your face.” “My adoring public.” “They’re so adoring, they’re even grabbing torches and pitchforks. Just for you.” She nodded. “My beloved subjects, your empress orders you to pillage, then burn. Always pillage first.” “You’re a horrible pony. I hope you know that.” Cozy grinned. “I know it better than you do. You haven’t seen the things that go through my mind.” “Why?” “’Why?’ she asks. Of course you wouldn’t understand. Your life is perfect. You’re a princess with a loving family and surrounded by friends. I never had a family or friends, nor will I ever be a princess. You have everything and I have nothing. So if I can’t have them, why should you or anypony else?” I hugged her. I probably shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t tell if she was manipulating me or not. And frankly I didn’t even care. Somepony was going to care about Cozy Glow, and if nopony else would do it, then I would. “Even though you’re probably lying to me for sympathy, that’s still horrible.” I turned to my crystalmother. “Starlight, is there some kind of truth spell you could perform on Cozy Glow?” “There is, and I already have. It was completely ineffective. She believes the words coming out of her mouth, just like she believes the words contradicting them ten minutes later. I even resorted to combing through her memories. A highly invasive and usually illegal form of mind magic… As a criminal, however, Cozy Glow forfeited her right to privacy. Her memories actively changed in front of my eyes. The longer I was observing them, the more they changed to include me – events that never happened, but showed Cozy Glow and I bonding, becoming friends. It was bizarre and I’ve never seen anything like it all.” She shuddered. “It’s almost as if her fantasies were her memories. Normally the procedure leaves the patient with a nasty headache, but when we were done I was the one with a migraine and she was perfectly fine.” “I told you my mind is a dark and disturbing place. And to think, I was only showing her the happy memories. We were friends once, so I focused on that. She’d never sleep again if I showed her the rest.” She smiled, but unlike most smiles there was nothing reassuring about this one. It was kinda scary. I didn’t know smiles could be scary. “Flurry Heart! It’s bedtime.” Oh sure, now it’s bedtime. I never thought I’d say this, but I really wish bedtime had been about five minutes ago. For once I didn’t complain about going to sleep. I didn’t beg to stay up later to enjoy my party, I just followed Mom to my room. She dragged a struggling Cozy Glow along with her magic. “What are you going to do with Cozy?” “Auntie Twilight didn’t give us advance notice that we’d be hosting a…” she trailed off, looking for a suitable word. She finally decided on one and continued, “…visitor for an extended stay. We don’t have an appropriate room prepared for somepony of her… uh, status. So, for tonight, she’ll be sleeping in the dungeon.” “And only for tonight?” Mom made a rather noncommittal noise as she closed my door. “Love you, sweetie!” It was a good thing my birthday fell on a Saturday this year. I lay there in bed, not sleeping. My mind was going a mile a minute as I tried to make sense of everything that had happened in the last few hours. Auntie Twilight had trusted me with what she felt might be one of the most important friendship missions of all time. That was good. She’d given me access to a filly my own age. That was also good. But that filly was a manipulative, scheming, amoral brat. That was bad. Can I help her? And if so, how? What would Auntie Twilight do? For that matter, what had Auntie Twilight already tried? My mind refused to shut off as I laid there thinking. I could occasionally hear my birthday party still going on, sans the guest of honor. Amazing how that works.