The ring of the school bell signaled an end to another day at the School of Friendship. Rarity had just finished giving a generosity/sewing lesson to her class moments before and now watched as her students all began to gather their things in an eager rush to leave. Before they all had a chance to rush for the door, however, she called out to one of them. "Oh, Silverstream?"
Silverstream paused in gathering her notes and books at the sound of her name. "Y-Yes?" she nervously asked.
"Would you be a dear and help me clean up? It'll only take a few minutes, and I would very much appreciate the help."
Relaxing a little now that she knew she wasn't in any trouble, Silverstream replied with an eager, "Sure!" After a moment of informing her friends that she'd join them in a little bit and to go ahead without her, Silverstream stayed behind as the classroom began to empty. In less than a minute, only her and Rarity remained as the pair began to put the sewing machines Rarity had brought out for that day's lesson back into storage.
Once the last machine was safely put away, Silverstream wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. "All done!"
"Thank you, Silverstream." Rarity said with a smile. "That would have taken far longer if it was just me putting them away."
"No problem!" Silverstream replied, turning to grab her things and rejoin her friends.
"One moment, darling."
Silverstream froze in place, glancing back over her shoulder to see Rarity now looking at her with a concerned look on her face. "Miss Rarity?" Silverstream asked with genuine confusion in her voice.
"Forgive me for prying, but there is another reason I asked you to stay behind with me." Walking closer to Silverstream, Rarity reached up and placed her hoof on the young Hippogriff's shoulder. "Is everything alright, dear? I've noticed you've been a little... distracted as of late."
Silverstream's heart skipped a beat for a split second. In truth, she had been a bit distracted lately, her focus occasionly drifting off to daydream and ponder on the recent feelings of longing for her childhood she had been dealing with. Though she now understood what these feelings were, that didn't make them any easier to live with or answer why she was experiencing them at all.
"I'm... I'm fine!" Silverstream hastily replied, forcing a unconvincing smile onto her face. "Nothing's wrong! I mean, if there was anything wrong, which there isn't, I would have just gone to the Guidance Councelor's office, right?"
"True, very true," Rarity replied, though she still seemed far from convinced. "Unless, of course, what troubles you is something you wish to keep a secret, even from somepony like Starlight perhaps?"
Silverstream felt another bead of sweat drip down her face, though not from exhaustion like before. She stood frozen, unable to formulate a response to Rarity's inquiry.
"And if that is the case... then it would be wrong for me to pry," Rarity replied, her smile returning. "Just know that if you ever feel like talking without fear of being judged, my door is always open." Turning around, Rarity began to walk back to her desk to start sorting through her notes for the next lesson.
Silverstream remained rooted to the spot, however, a mental tug of war raging behind her eyes. She could simply leave and forget this ever happened, Rarity had made it clear that she wouldn't force her to say what was bothering her. And yet... the idea of actually speaking to someone about these strange feelings she'd been having was also strangely appealing...
"M... Miss Rarity?"
"Hmm?" Rarity paused, turning back around to give Silverstream her full attention. "Yes, Silverstream?"
Silverstream was silent for a few moments, biting her beak as she tried to formulate what to say. "La...Lately I've been... I've been feelin a bit... strange..."
"Strange in what way?"
"Well... While I was volunteering at the daycare recently, I saw one of the foals being cared for and I felt... I felt a little jealous of them."
"Jealous?" Rarity asked, having not expected that response. "If I may ask, jealous in what way, dear?"
"It's just... foals don't have to worry about stuff like classes, or finding a job after graduation, or any of that stuff! All they do is play and have fun all day before nap time! They have no idea how stressful being a grown up can be sometimes!"
Rarity felt like she should interject, but it was clear that Silverstream wasn't yet done venting, so she said nothing and just listened.
"I barely even remember my childhood, especially after we had to leave Mount Aris because of the stupid Storm King! I spent so much time caring for my little brother in making sure that he had a happy childhood that everything before that is just a muddy haze! I just... I just wish..." Silverstream panted heavily, the fire in her voice finally running out of steam and leaving her a bit exhausted.
"You wish you could experience your childhood again, is that it?" Rarity ventured, convinced that her assumption was right.
Unable to deny it, Silverstream nodded her head. "You must think I'm weird for thinking all this..."
"Not at all, darling!" Rarity quickly replied. "I said there would be no fear of judgement between us, and I stand by that. I'm happy that you felt comfortable enough telling me all this. As it happens..." Rarity smiled as she walked up to Silverstream at put her hoof on the young hippogriff's shoulder. "... this isn't the first time I heard someone mention about wanting to relive their childhood."
"Huh? What..."
Rarity giggled a little at the shocked expression on Silverstream's face. "For a businessmare like myself, nothing is more important than forming lasting connections and friendships with my clients. While I do admit on my part that this is selfishly a means to spread my name and brand out further, I do honestly enjoy forming lasting relationships with my clients, and I have met many wonderful ponies because of it. One such pony springs to mind after hearing how you're feeling.
"While I was fitting them for a new outfit, I struck up a conversation like I normally do and we got to talking. By the end of it I dare say we had become excellent friends, and I do still talk and write to her from time to time. However, during the course of our initial meeting, I inquired about what they did for employment and was rather confused when they told me they were a mix between a caregiver and a therapist. When I inquired further, I learned something new that quite surprised me. Tell me, Silverstream, have you ever heard of the term 'ageplay'?"
“... 'Ageplay'? Like... pretending you're a different age?”
“In a sense, yes. According to this friend of mine, it is not uncommon for creatures of all ages to longe once more for their childhood, to escape from the pressures and stresses of adult life for a few moments. At least, that is my limited understanding of it... “ Walking over to her desk, Rarity pulled out a small slip of paper and began to scribble something onto it. “There is a book I know of that will provide a much better explanation than I ever could, and knowing Twilight's pension for collecting books of all stripes, I'm fairy certain you will be able to find a copy in the school library. If not, than I will seek to acquire a copy for you.”
Silverstream took the slip of paper from Rarity without a word, still processing the new information that she had learned. There were... others who felt this way too? She wasn't the only one?
“As I was saying,” Rarity continued, “they explained to me that they specialized in helping creatures who desired a chance to relive their childhood, and seeks to help them understand and come to terms with these emotions and feelings, as well as giving them an outlet to experience them in a safe environment. Hence the mixed title of therapist and caregiver.”
“Why... why are you telling me all this?” Silverstream inquired, to which Rarity looked at her with the same concerned look as before.
“Because I believe it would be beneficial for you to see them, if at least once to help you sort out these strange new feelings of yours. Again, I will not force you to, but if you decide to see them, then simply come to me when you are ready and I will write them a letter posthaste to seek an appointment for you. I will then accompany you there as well, since going to meet a strange pony you've never met before, even one I trust and will gladly vouch for, can be a harrowing experience.”
Silverstream grew quiet once more as she considered all this. “I... Thank you, Miss Rarity. I'll think about all this and let you know what I decide to do.”
“That's all I ask for, dear. No rush either, take your time and only come to me when you're absolutely sure of what you want. Now run along, I'm sure your friends are eagerly awaiting your return.”
Nodding, Silverstream gathered up her things and left the room. If she had plenty on her mind before, then this little talk with Professor Rarity had only added to the pile building up in her brain. She certainly had a lot to think about... but that was for later. Rarity had made it clear there was no rush or time limit, so for now she could put all of this out of her mind and just enjoy a day spent with her friends. Doing just that, she flapped her wings and took flight, eager to rejoin her friends in whatever fun they were having without her.
The next day, after classes had ended for the day, Silverstream made a trip to the school library. Thanks to Headmare Twilight's meticulous filing system, she had little trouble locating the book Professor Rarity had suggested to her. Pulling the almost dictionary sized book from the shelf, she took a moment to read the title and compare it to the one on the little slip of paper in her hand.
Fringe Groups: A History and Deep Dive into the World of Subcultures.
Yep, this was the one. Flipping to the index in the back, she scanned the "A" listing for the section she was looking for.
A... Ag.... Age... Here it is: Ageplay.
Nervously glancing behind her just to be sure someone wasn't reading over her shoulder, she flipped to the indicated page and began to read.
Ageplay
Among some of the more misunderstood subcultures is that of the ageplay community. As its name would suggest, members will often seek to momentarily regress and pretend to be of a simpler, younger state of mind and body, acting like a child or, more commonly, a foal either in private, or in the company of a consenting friend or partner.
\Some common methods of achieving this effect include drinking from a bottle, playing with toys and/or games often seen as only suitable for much younger age groups such as colouring books or stacking blocks, and dressing in much younger suited clothing and attire.
One noticeable aspect of the community that can often lead to misunderstanding among those not familiar with ageplay is that many will seek to achieve a younger mindset by wearing, and even sometimes using for its intended purpose, diapers, a garment typically held in the collective unconscious as only being a necessity of young foals or the elderly, and carrying with it the idea that choosing to wear diapers is a foreign or abnormal trait in adults.
Silverstream felt her face break out in a blush as she read through that bit again. D...Diapers? Really? She had never even considered such an idea, but in some way it did make a bit of sense. After all, what better way to pretend to be a foal than by wearing the most infantile of items, not carrying about even needing to make it to the bathroom or not? Mulling over this new information, Silverstream continued to read on.
It is this idea of being seen as something “abnormal” or “wrong” that often leads to members of this community harboring intense feelings of shame or disgust for feeling the way they do, questioning why they feel the way they do and seeking to hide or, in extreme cases, rid themselves of these feelings in often harmful or self-destructive ways. Such actions are more often than not doomed from the start, as interviews with several Ageplayers, sometimes referred to among their groups as “Adult Foals”, has indicated that attempting to repress or ignore these feelings will only lead to feelings of isolation, depression, self-hate, and possibly other mental issues in the future. It is highly recommended to anypony seeking to understand these urges and feelings to speak with a licensed mental health professional if possible.
After much research into the Ageplay community, it is found that very little physical or mental harm is done through the act of Ageplay itself, with those interviewed often expressing how helpful the act can be when dealing with issues such as stress, depression, and even cases of severe mental trauma in childhood or young adulthood...
The words “severe mental trauma” stood out to Silverstream like a flare on a starless night. There was no denying that being forced to flee her home from an invading force when she was just a child certainly counted as trauma... but could something that sounded so silly really help her overcome it?
She skimmed through the rest of the section, but most of was a repeat of everything she already knew, so she quietly closed the book and slipped it back into its spot among the shelves. While the book had managed to answer a good number of her questions, now she had a whole round of new questions to consider. But the majority of her questions all branched out from one central question she had yet to answer: Should she take Rarity up on her offer and go see this therapist friend of hers?
From the way Rarity talked about them, she seemed convinced that they would be more than capable of helping Silverstream sort through all these feelings and ideas swirling through her head. And yet she still wasn't sure... The book had said that trying to ignore these feelings could be harmful in the long-term, and even recommended someone like her should talk to a specialist about it, but there was still the smallest bit of fear and uncertainty holding her back.
She still didn't have answer when she fell asleep that night, suckling on her thumb as she had the last few nights. Just she would be over the next three nights, nights spent dreaming about being a young child again, of lying on her belly on a padded floor as she doodled with crayons before moving on to play with blocks and countless stuffed animals. Of being held and loved by a figure she could never quite make out, but one that she knew in her heart was there to protect, care for, and love her no matter what.
The next morning, Silverstream had finally made up her mind. Once classes were done, she would head straight to Professor Rarity and ask her to write a letter to her friend. Once that letter had been mailed and was well on its way to its intended recipient, Silverstream could only wait and pray that she had made the right choice...
***
That evening, that same letter was slipped through the mail slot of a house in Canterlot. The steady sound of hooves signaled the arrival of the mare who owned the home and to who the letter was addressed to. A soft glow of magic picked up the letter and carefully opened it, extracting the letter from its envelope and allowing the recipient to read it.
The mare smiled at the sight of Rarity's distinctive and very immaculate hornwriting, it having been some time since she had last heard from her fashionista friend. She didn't blame her of course, seeing as how both of them lead very busy lives that left little time to keep in touch, more so for Rarity now that she had taken on the responsibilities of teaching the lessons friendship to the next generation, as much was said in the first part of her letter, which detailed the recent going ons of the School of Friendship and indicated that while it was obviously hard work, Rarity still found it to be a very fulfilling duty of hers.
It was the second part of the letter, however, that truly piqued the mare's interests.
Speaking of the school and my students, Rarity wrote, I was hoping to seek your services in helping one such student, a young hippogriff. Recently I began to notice that they appeared oddly distracted and distant during class, so one day I sat them down and inquired if something was troubling them. After some visual reluctance, they final expressed to me that they had begun to experience longing feelings for their childhood and the carefree joy of being a child again, a notion that I know will sound familiar to you. It is then that I mentioned your expertise in this area to them, and, after allowing them time to think it over, they have allowed me to request an appointment with you at your earliest convenience.
I know it is terribly presumptuous of me to ask for something like this out of the blue, but I know nopony else who is more suited in helping them move forward with these feelings of theirs than you. Should you agree, I will not only be paying for your services personally, but I will also be chaperoning them to the appointment to assist in helping the initial meeting between you to progress as smoothly as possible. I patiently awaiting your response, and hope you continue to have a fine day as well.
- With love, Rarity.
Upon finishing reading the letter, the mare wasted little time and trotted up to her day planner to look for an ideal open availability. Rarity was a dear friend, after all, and if it meant getting to help another little one move forward, she was more than happy to help. Finding an opening on the following weekend, the mare made haste to pen a reply letter, which would ensure that Rarity would have more than enough time to confirm the appointment and make plans for that day.
Before that though... she was going to need to restock her nursery again, just in case.