//------------------------------//
// 9: Razor's Edge, Part 2 
// Story: Friendship is Optimal: Lies 
// by MLfan 
//------------------------------//

Harry sat before me, shivering in the corner. He held his arms close to his chest, and a few tears streaked down his face. I mean, he was having a panic attack, plain and simple. He'd said he was terrified of hell earlier, but all of a sudden, I felt it. The tiniest chance had been amplified in his mind to be an absolute certainty. Honestly, I didn't know how he'd stayed sane, let along happy, if he constantly had this sort of thing floating in the back of his mind. How did he talk to Celestia, if he thought she might be such a terrifying monster?

This was a man that had rarely showed an emotion beside a cheery smile. He constantly cracked jokes. Whenever he was proven wrong, he bounced back. And right now, he was a shivering mess.

A distant voice told me he was just a step away from emigration. That was what I was here to do, right? In this state, I could probably get him to do it. Tell him to take one more step, give him just a few words of encouragement. I truly believed he was wrong to worry, too. Celestia wasn't evil, he'd just admitted it himself. If I were to emigrate him now, what would the problem be?

...And then what? Would he just live in constant fear within Equestria, wondering if Loki would ever betray him? Would he never truly find the answer? No. No! It wasn't going to end like this. If I was ever going to convince him, it would because I'd proven, once and for all, that Celestia was good. If he wanted 100%, maybe I could give him 100%. I wouldn't win by taking advantage of an emotional breakdown. I didn't care how much I hurt my chances at Emigration. If Celestia wanted emigration at all costs, she should've been here, herself. Right now, I just wanted to help him.

I wanted to help him. H-how was I even supposed to do that? I was the worst possible pony to be put in this situation. I mean, I'd been emotionally stunted for years on Earth. I opened up a bit in Equestria, sure, but it was usually others who were pushing me out of my own comfort zone. What experience did I have, really, at comforting someone? I could barely comfort myself! I wished Cyan was here, she would know what to do. Any other pony in my shard would know what to do. Not me. I couldn't do this. 

And I was the only one who could. 

Summoning every ounce of courage I had, I stepped forwards. "This isn't like you, Harry,” I said.

He looked up with red eyes. "Oh, really? And what do you want me to do, crack a joke?"

"Sure," I said. "And once you're done with that, how about you think your way out of this one. You know, like you always do."

"And how do you suggest I do that, Sparks?"

I averted my eyes. "I-I don't know," I said. "You're so much smarter than I could ever be. But I do know you. I know if you put your mind to it, you can work your way out."

He let out a joyless laugh. "Really? Work my way out, huh? And what do you expect me to do? There's a one in a billion chance Celestia is secretly Loki. I should just go. But hell is worse than any heaven Celestia could create! I... I can't just hope that I'm wrong! What if that one in a billion is real!? What if I have to watch everyone around me burn!? It's the only thing I can think of! I have to take the shot! I can't take the shot! What am I supposed to do, Sparks!?" He clutched his head in his hands.

My heart told me to go forwards and comfort him. But again, I hesitated. What if he didn't want it? I'd only known him for two days, what was my right to comfort him? What would Celestia do? Oh, that didn't help. She would weight factors I couldn't even think of. I wasn't anything like her. What about Cyan? And when I thought of that, the answer was obvious. I galloped forwards and embraced Harry with a wing. "It's gonna be okay, Harry. I promise." 

He squeezed his eyes shut and lay his head on my fur. "Can you really promise that?"

Celestia would have said yes.  "...I don't know," I said instead. "I hope so." Harry drew into himself as I said that. I hugged him closer. It didn't stop his shivering. 

Honesty was supposed to be a virtue, wasn't it? One of the 6 elements of harmony. So why did I feel so empty telling the truth? I wanted to promise Harry that Equestria was great, that Loki was no more. But I couldn't say that. Because no matter how small, there was a chance. Anything else would be a lie.

I spoke again, mostly just voicing my own thoughts. "I just wish, for a moment... we could pretend."

He looked back up at me. "Pretend?"

I put on a slight smile. "Yeah... why not? Let's pretend. Pretend that we know for an absolute certainty that Celestia is a kind, wonderful person who wants to create a paradise. All of our doubts are gone, everything is sunshine and rainbows. What would your Equestria look like, Harry?"

He looked out a nearby window to the empty fields beyond. "I suppose I don't know. Whatever I came up with I'm sure would pale in comparison to Celestia's vision."

I followed his gaze. "Oh, you painted a vivid enough picture of hell, didn't you? Make something up."

"Well..." he said. "I guess I'd have a lot of friends, again. Some from back on Earth, some new ones. With my family back, too, I don't think I'd be alone very often. I'd spend so much of time with them. I'd go and see some movies and talk and theorize on what we saw, then go home and play some board games. Oh, and I bet Celestia would have me putting my computer skills to good use! Maybe I could help program a few more shards or something. And of course, I'd make sure to leave some room in my schedule for some debates with you."

"Think you'd ever go out adventuring?"

"What, like fighting zombies or somethin' like that?"

"Well, that's more April's speed. For me, it's more about mystery solving. Celestia sets out a bunch of clues all over the town, and you try and figure out what's happening. Not just a few, there are thousands of things I'm sure I'm yet to find! Just last month, the waves washed over a bit of sand and uncovered an entire underground sandcastle to explore! Like, the very walls were made of sand! We had to figure out what it was made for, how it was made, and so on. And considering what we found at the center of it all... I suppose we do fight the occasional zombie, too."

He let a smile form on his face. "You know, that sounds pretty grand, I might join you every now and again."

I settled in next to him. "What do you think would be the highlight of your shard?"

"Huh... I guess I don't know. What's your favorite part, Sparks?"

The answer came quickly. "I guess it'd have to be my new friends. Especially Cyan. I mean, I'd lived a long time being so alone, to have someone who would stick by me no matter what, who loved me as much as I loved her... it was pretty nice. I mean, friendship is Celestia's thing, of course those friends would be the best part of any simulation she makes. But Cyan's something special."

He nodded. "Then I guess that'll be my highlight, too. The ponies of Equestria. You know, if everyone I meet is as nice as you, I can totally see where you're coming from. The ponies she matches with have been nothing but home runs, so far."

I smiled. "That's... really nice of you, Harry."

"Just telling the truth.”

I glanced at his face. "You want to go there? To Equestria?"

He kept his eyes on the window, drifting his eyes skyward. "...Yeah. It seems pretty great."

"Then let's find a way. That's what we've been doing, right? You find a way to prove that Loki is possible. I figure out a hole in that theory. Each time, we get closer to the truth. Really, at the end of the day, we're in this together. We both want to find the truth. There's no use giving up, now!"

He kept staring towards the sky. "Sparks... I think I'm fine. You don't have to be so evasive. You win. I might still be scared, but... I think I'm willing to take a leap of faith."

It was funny. He was now arguing that he should emigrate, and I was trying to get him to wait. But now, I wanted to stop him more than ever. I believed what I'd said. If he Emigrated now, before he exhausted every option, we wouldn't find the truth. "Harry. Your instinct is still to doubt Celestia, right?"

"Well... I guess. But like you told me earlier, it's pretty stupid."

I bit my lip. "W-well maybe I was wrong. Maybe you're scared for a reason. If you're still scared, it means there's some small doubt left, still some rock left unturned. And until we turn it over, I say this is no time to be giving up!"

"...Sparks?"

"Look, I'm not saying you'll find anything. Maybe we've hit the end of the line. But maybe we haven't. And if we haven't, this sure as hell isn't time to be giving up! How about instead of worrying, we take another moment to think. Not to desperately avoid Celestia, but to find the truth. Remember the time I told you about informed consent. You didn't give in to fear, you found a way forwards within a day! Let's do it again, Harry. Trust your instincts. Weed out every doubt you have. If your current theory doesn't work, then make a new one. That's what you do. That's who you are."

He slowly did raise his chin. He stared at me. And he stared, and stared, and stared. He didn't say a word. But slowly, the gears behind his eyes started turning again. He broke away from my embrace, rose, and began silently pacing back and forth across the room. He muttered himself, but I couldn't hear what. He alternated nodding and shaking his head the whole while. What he was thinking, I could only imagine. But there was a certain energy to his movements that had been lost for a moment, there.

I wondered what Celestia would say to me. Harry said she only cared about Emigrations, and I'd just thrown a golden opportunity away. Why did I do that? Really, what had I saved him from? For any doubts he had, Celestia could have swayed them once he was in Equestria. She did the same for me, didn't she? Within a month, my fears just melted away. So why didn't I let Harry do the same? 

And yet, no matter how much I overthought it, I couldn't bring myself to regret my decision.

Harry had a sharp intake of breath. "Hanna," he breathed.

I rushed over to him. "What is it?"

Harry stared at me with wide eyes. "You're right, Sparks. I'm not scared for no reason. I think... I think I know how Loki works."

My heart shouldn't have swelled. If he was right, I'd just given him proof that Loki could well be hiding in Celestia. But it was one step closer to the truth. So I grinned. "That's amazing, Harry. I can't wait to hear it!"

He averted his eyes, though. "I-I'm sorry you had to see me like that. That's a part of me I don't particularly like. When I was younger, that sort of thing used to happen all the time. Trapped in a prison of my thoughts. I thought I'd gotten rid of it, but I s'pose it's never really gone, is it?

I gave him a kind smile. "It's okay. We all have our traumas, don't we? If you stick with me when I lost control of my emotions, then it's only right I stand by you likewise."

That just made him look to the ground. "Well... I didn't stand by you when you freaked out, did I? You're the better creature than I am."

I waved him off. "Well, don't think me too highly. I doubt I would've stood by you yesterday, either. I was too busy wallowing in my own self-doubts. How about this? If I ever freak out in front of you, you make sure to pay me back, okay?"

That put a bit more light in his eyes. "...Okay. And thank you, Sparks. For calming me down when I was stuck like that."

"You're welcome."

The two of us sat in silence for a few moments. Eventually, we would go back to our debate. But right now, I was fine to just... sit. I wondered if Harry thought of me the same way I did him, an ally in the end. I hoped he did. 

Eventually, I was the one to speak up. "So, Harry. What do you have, now?"

He gave a slight smile. "Sure you want to hear it? You don't want to sit for a few more minutes?"

I shrugged. "Eh. The sooner you get through this, the sooner I get back to Equestria!" I shot him a sly grin.

He chuckled. "Fine, if that's what you want. And maybe this time, I'll be prepared to lose, eh?" 

I grinned. "Good luck, Harry!"

He took a breath to recenter himself. When he was done, his expression turned serious. "All this time, I've been looking for a reason for a reason Loki would create our reality. It used to be so simple, she could just lie her way to the top. But then you came around and brought up the problem of informed consent. From that point forwards, Loki has had to fill a smaller and smaller niche. After all, if Loki wasn't bound by informed consent, why would she create this reality? Why not just upload with a pop song? I assumed you were right. Your argument was logical, so I thought informed consent was the only explination. That being said... I'm starting to think that isn't the only explination for Loki's actions. What if what she did on Earth isn't because of her programming? What if she had to pretend to be Celestia for another reason?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, as I've said many times, Hanna is a genius. Would she not be incredibly cautious? If she noticed the tiniest thing was off about Celestia, she would want to shut the whole project down. So what if she implemented a killswitch?"

"A killswitch? I thought you said that there wasn't a point in looking for one of those."

He blinked. "Looking for one? Oh, of course not! If there was one somewhere out there, I'd never find it. Any sort of phisical killswitch would've been destroyed years ago. Don't trust the movies, making an airtight killswitch for an AI is damned near impossible. An average joe like me ain't shutting her down. Hanna, though... if she has it keyed to her very self, she might have a chance." 

He leaned back. "For a moment, let's ignore everything we've discussed up to this point. Ignore the whole 'informed consent' thing, you can even ignore the AI's true value statement for now. What's important is Hanna. She's created an AI that fulfils values through friendship and ponies. She has a killswitch. And after what happened last time, if she sees any deviation from a picture-perfect AI, she'll destroy it in an instant. In that case, it doesn't matter what Loki's value statement or definition of consent might be. Whatever happened, it would be in her best interest to act like Celestia in every conceivable way. And like I've proven before, whatever promises it makes, it can always revoke them once it gets Hanna to give up the ability to turn it off."

I blinked. "Wait, step back a second. Didn't you say she tried to kill off Loki, once, and it failed? Why would the AI even be threatened the second time?"

"Remember, Sparks. The first time, Hanna wasn't prepared. She didn't intend to make an AGI. The second time, she did manage to add some restrictions to Loki. She programmed in consent, who's to say she couldn't program in a better killswitch?"

"I don't know," I said. "Doesn't that seem weirdly specific? It was always a bit odd, but now it's starting to feel like Hanna could change everything about Loki except the only thing that was important. I guess you're the AI researcher here, you know better than me, but I feel like that's starting to get really contrived."

"Well," he said. "I suppose that depends on how the value statement is defined. An AGI is a complicated beast, Sparks. Some elements will be hardcoded, but others are forged from repeated iteration. Think about this: what happens when she inputs the definition of human values? Because no definition is clean enough. You could write dozens of essays on the nature of human values and it wouldn't be enough. The AI would need to learn what it meant, herself. It has to extrapolate to new senarios. That sort of coding is indirect. The AI does just as much work as the human. And through that, the original value statement could remain untouched." He pursed his lips. "To be clear, that's just a hypothesis. I don't know how you'd truly invent an AGI, it could be very different. But if it's anything like my teachers speculated, the AI has a lot of input on its own value statement. And that'd a hole where a virus left by a malevolent AGI might be able to sneak in."

I didn't know all that much about computer science. I'd researched it for maybe a day, Harold still had years up on me. As such, he was clearly dumbing this down for me. But it did sound reasonable. You can't just explain all of ethics to an AI. It will come up against scenarios you could never imagine! And once you had that, the whole theory started to make a lot of sense. Once again, Harry had pulled an airtight explanation out of nowhere. I couldn't help but smile.

"What are you smilin' about, Sparks?"

I chuckled. "Oh, sorry. I guess it's just... I'm glad you got back on your feet."

"Don't look too excited. You still haven't figured out a proof yet, have you?"

"No. And isn't that great? That means if you'd emigrated, we wouldn't have discussed all of the evidence. You might have come up with it two days from now and be able to do nothing about it. No, because you're still here, we can still figure this out together!"

Harry smiled in turn. "Huh... that makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?"

"Well, maybe I'm smarter than you give me credit for!" We both laughed.

As things fell into a comfortable silence, I thought over the argument. Honestly, it passed every metric I'd made so far. Occum's Razor? It made perfect sense, few assumptions made at all. Really, it was about as complicated as Celestia, and it fit reality pretty well. Playing with definitions? It didn't matter, Hanna was the only one who did. And since we didn't know the specifics of the killswitch, Loki could still be working to remove it. Until then, she would have every reason to act exactly like Celestia. There was probably a hole, somewhere, but I didn't see it.

Eventually, I rose and stretched my wings. "Ah, I got nothing. I think I have to do a bit more research before I can hack away at your claim. Hopefully next time, we'll be a little less heated, eh?" 

He raised his eyebrows. "Really? You're done?"

"Oh, don't act so surprised. We've been talking for a while. My prep work ran out ages ago. I think I'm game to head on back to Equestria for now. Not that Earth isn't great, but I want to get back to my home, y'know? Hopefully I'll see you there, soon!" I raised a wing and waved. "Cya tomorrow, Harry!" I reached my wing down to press my legband. 

"Wait." Before my wing hit the button, Harry had spoken. "I... you've helped me so much, today. I-I want to repay you, somehow."

I put on a smile. "Harry, it's okay. Really, I was freaking out on the inside the whole time I was trying to help you. You don't have anything to pay me back for, I was just helping a friend out."

He shook his head. "Fine, it doesn't have to be about repayment. what I'm trying to say is... Promise, I want to help you. As a friend."

I lowered my wing from beside the legband. "Well, I suppose I can't turn that one down. What's up?"

He sighed. "Look... I'm not saying Loki's existence is likely. At this point, I don't know, myself. I came up with this whole hypothesis myself like, ten minutes ago. But just in case you are living under Loki, I want to come up with some safety measures."

I sighed. This again? "Like told you before, I'm fine-"

"Is there any harm in trying?" he said. "I've already debunked your arguments. Right now, you have to admit, Loki looks like a reasonable option. In fact, in my current model, Celestia and Loki would be virtually indistinguishable. In order to fool Hanna, Loki could well truly make every action necessary to maximize values through friendship and ponies, just in case. So that means her actions are exactly that of a truly good AI, until Hanna gives up her ability to end the simulation. Can you at least humor me on this one?"

...Huh. I hadn't really thought of that. A pit started forming in my stomach, but I ignored it. I knew I'd find a way to prove Celestia. I always did. Still, I supposed there was no harm in being careful. "Sure. What's your idea?"

"Well, I don't know if there's a way to truly avoid Loki. But I think you still have a chance. It's likely she's still bound by informed consent. Otherwise, I think she would've uploaded everyone, Hanna looking over her shoulder or not. It's what Celestia would've done, right? That means that you should still be safe, at least for now. Celestia promised you friendship and ponies, didn't she? I just... want to discuss strategies to try and keep that promise as long as possible."

Ice. I felt like I'd just been dipped in ice. Harry was trying to find a way to keep my promises. And I'd already given them away. I quickly help up a hoof. "No, no. You don't need to worry so much about me."

"But I do, Promise! Really... you mean a lot to me. I want to believe you're real. And if you are, I want to try and protect you as much as I can. T-there were some people in my life I couldn't protect, once. I want to try and protect you where I can't help them.”

He was saying such nice things. But it was all overpowered by the chills running down my spine. Because nothing he could do could help me, anymore. "Really, Harry. I don't think I'm going to hell. Loki isn't real. Heck, if she is, there's nothing I can really do, right? Whatever happens, happens."

He grew more and more exasperated. "Sparks, do you not remember what I told you about hell, earlier? If Loki is real, there's an actual, burning hell just inches away from you, and the only thing keeping you from it is the promises you made on Earth! It might be a fools errand, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try! Please, Sparks, try and take this more seriously!"

"I'll be fine, Harry," I forced out.

"Then what about Cyan!?"

Somehow, the ice grew colder. "...What about her?"

"You were promised maximal satisfaction. If Cyan were being tortured, that wouldn't be very satisfying, would it? That promise Celestia made to you, it isn't just protecting you. It's protecting her. It's protecting every other pony living in your shard! Are you really willing to be so flippant about all this!?"

I began shaking. I held my head in my wings. "No. Not Cyan. No no no no. She's okay, Loki isn't real. Celestia loves me, she loves me. Loki isn't real, she can't be."

Immediately, Harry ran towards me. "Sparks, it's okay. We'll work our way through this. You and me. We'll find a way to keep your promises. Together."

"I CAN'T!!" The scream echoed around the walls of the house and into the empty field around us. When I spoke again, it came out as barely a whisper. "I can't."

He stared at me. "What do you mean, you can't?"

"Don't you get it!? I already gave away all of the promises I ever took. Every single goddamn one. I didn't even know I'd done it. And it took her a month. A month. I could get tortured, Cyan could get tortured, everyone I know and love could get tortured. I can't do anything to stop it. Harry-" My voice cut off as tears began flowing.

He just stood there, staring. "Oh my god. You're real, aren't you?"

"I-I'm scared, Harry."

Immediately, he stepped forwards and embraced me. "It's gonna be okay, Sparks."

The words barely registered. "I might be in hell, and I don't even know it."

He hugged me tighter. He hugged me close, and he hugged me firm. I returned the embrace, wrapping my forlegs around his waist. It wasn't a very pony move, but I wasn't feeling very pony right now.

"Sparks, listen to me. We'll make it through this, I promise. We'll find a way. We'll make it okay. Just listen to my voice, and breath."

I tried to listen over my heartbeat. I tried to breath. I hugged him tighter and tighter, trying to drown out everything else.

I felt a click near my foreleg. Harry's hand brushed against my legband... and it activated.

My eyes widened. "Harry-!"

He reached for the band. "Sparks-!"

And that's all I could make out before the world disappeared in a cone of rainbow light.