Mount Harmony
The past
Dan sat on the edge of the cliff, the sound of the waterfalls drowning out all else. He stared down at Ponyville. The pegasi moved rapidly to clear the skies after the fires were put out. If everypony thought he was a dragon, maybe he could live out the rest of his days in the caves. The water was fresh and clean. Food would be difficult, but maybe he could hunt or fish somewhere. Something. Eek out some kind of existence a thousand years before civilization, at least the modern civilization he knew.
He sighed. Ponyville wouldn't be developed for another three-hundred years at least. No restaurants or cafes, no movie theaters, no arcade or bowling alley, the electronics and even Pone Depot wouldn't be built until he arrived in Equestria. The first time, that is. Still, there was something relaxing, peaceful about looking out at the small town.
His eyes fixed on the Golden Oakes Library.
He sighed again. "Ahhh... home." After all it had been through, the library still looked the same. Still was basically the same. Of course, trees could last for hundreds of years, as could some alicorns. Even with Equestria's magic, Dan felt he wouldn't last that long through the course of history. Not without altering it, which he knew he couldn't do.
"Alright, so... Discord will probably be taking over pretty soon. Guess I could watch that. And then, King Sombra in the-" He stopped. Immediately, he sprung to his feet. "The Crystal Empire!"
That's right, the Crystal Empire was still here at this time. It wouldn't vanish for another...
"Oh crap. Oh crap oh crap oh craaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!" The Crystal Empire was going to vanish that very day.
Frantically, he looked around. "Uhhh! Uhhh! Uhhh!" What was the quickest off the mountain? "Oh, screw it." He jumped down the waterfall again.
"AAAAA-I JUST DID THIS TWENTY-THREE MINUTES AGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
He got out of the water even faster this time. Then, he ran. Then, he stopped and caught his breath for a few minutes. Then, he broke into a sprint and kept running again. He followed the train tracks all the way to Ponyville, or the bend just before Ponyville.
"Ah-HA!" The hoofcart was still there. But no, it was too risky to reattach it to the rails this close to town. Also, there was still the charred wreckage of the train and platform still ahead of him. No, he had one option: pull the thing-
"ALL THE WAY THROUGH... errrggh, the-THE EVERFREE F-FOREST!!" Dan shouted angrily. He yanked and pulled the hoofcart through the underbrush. He heard rustling in the bushes but didn't stop to check it out. Until he nearly hit something... well, specifically, someone. Somepony.
"Oh gawd."
Rice, the past version that had just been blown out of the train, lay unconscious in front of him. Like his son, his body must've been blasted from the wreckage and flung here. Unlike Vice, Rice appeared to be unscathed, more or less. His gauntlets and boots were still attached, even.
Carefully, he tried to pull the hoofcart around Rice's prone form. Then, hit a bit of a snag: a treeroot blocked his path.
"Aw, for *squee*'s sakes!"
He tried to push the cart, tried to find another route, nothing doing. The cart was too heavy and too big and the trees and bushes were just too thick. He could've sworn a few of them even sported the mugs of the Three Stooges on their bark. Must've just been his imagination. Either way, wasn't helpful at that moment.
"Hmmm," Dan looked at Rice. "If I touch him... will this end the space-time continuum?" He shrugged. "Only one way to find out." He grabbed Rice by the shoulders and picked him up.
First, he tried to prop him against a tree. But he slumped over again.
"Nobody's gonna find him like that."
Second, Dan tried to drape his body over a tree branch. "Nah... nah, that just looks like you're sleeping."
After several repeated attempts, Dan came to a decision. "Alright, screw this. I didn't come back in time to play Weekend at Bernie's."
He pushed the hoofcart through the forest with Rice still unconscious on top of it. Eventually, after dragging it several yards from the forest, he was able to re-rail the cart.
"Haaa... hooo, maybe... maybe there's still time to... to open a savings account... so I can be rich from the interest in the future. Oh wait," he remembered, "the @$%*ing banks haven't been *honk*ing built yet. Great."
He mounted the cart again and began pushing the handlebar. Across the cart, Rice was splayed out and still out cold. Slowly, the cart picked up speed and he made his way out of Ponyville.
The Crystal Empire was, unfortunately, far away. The train tracks wrapped around the outskirts of Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acres, and a young Granny Smith happened to spy Dan but didn't think much of it.
"Ah, dammit." Dan stopped the cart. Yet another delay and the time was running out. The tracks were currently leading up straight north to Manehattan, which technically didn't exist yet. He got out and switched the tracks manually.
Pumping faster. He had to push faster, had to keep going, had to go faster AND keep going. His muscles ached, his lungs burned, his lips were chapped but he had to keep going. He couldn't stop. The tracks carried him west, across the Golden Plains and into the forests of the northwest passage. The Everclear River led straight to the Western Easy Sea on the west coast of the continent, and north from that was the Crystal Empire in what would have been Alaska on Earth.
"I'm coming home. I'm coming home, Twilight. Chrys... Nicky..." Every breath, every push, every pump up and down, every beat of his heart, he thought of his friends. He thought of the Golden Oakes Library. He thought of home. "I'm coming, guys. I'm coming home."
As he neared the Crystal Empire, Dan noticed an abrupt change in landscape he hadn't expected. Mines and quarries. There were several of them, massive quarries that stretched all the way to the bases of the mountains in the distance. In his time, the ride to the Crystal Empire was through green fields, a couple forests and tunnels but no valleys. Certainly not mining complexes.
Yet, that is what he saw- mines. There was an extensive mining operation going on. Wooden shacks were set up and more railways, the kind meant to move ore were set up. He didn't stop to ponder and the answer came to him as he worked. It was the Crystal Empire. Yes, these were some of the mines the Crystal Empire had set up in order to maintain its supply of namesake crystals. He still didn't know the entire history of the Crystal Empire, and few ponies did, but obviously all those gems had to come from somewhere.
The mining quarries were extensive. The operations must've gone on for years, a couple generations at least. But there were no mines here in Dan's time, no evidence of any mining at all. Had it all been covered up, like the attempt on Rice's life?
Finally, Dan reached the edge of the Crystal Empire. Rice had stirred a bit, and had apparently gone from knocked out to asleep.
Scratch that, he was waking up.
"Uhhh...uhh..."
"Oh shit."
They had just crossed into the Crystal Empire's territory. There was nothing he could do.
"Uhh! Uhhh!" Dan looked around frantically. Then, he made the decision. "Sorry!" He dumped Rice off the hoofcart and sped away as fast he could.
Rice's semi-conscious body tumbled and came to a stop somewhere in the grass. He would later be found by a group of dogs who had been living in an abandoned mine.
Crystal Empire
The rails ran right into the Crystal Empire, but not to a train station. They connected to a huge factory-like building. Having made it into Crystal territory, Dan felt he could finally relax. The entire Empire was minutes away from vanishing and he would go along with it. He'd still have to evade detection for a couple years in the future, but that was doable. He could get a job with the griffons or something until the day he vanished, then show up like he'd only been back a day. It might even be fun.
Dan looked around. There were no Crystal Ponies he could see. In fact, it wasn't too different from when he first visited the Crystal Empire, except it wasn't from the air. The place seemed deserted.
But he didn't have to travel far to find out why.
"The time hasssssssssssssssss come! The Empire shall take its placccccccccccccce in the sssun at lastss!"
The hissing was unmistakable. It was King Sombra. Dan was almost happy to see the tyrant taking over.
A crowd of Crystal Ponies was assembled around the base of the Crystal Palace. In front of it, on a platform made of rock was King Sombra. He was slightly raised but stood behind no podium. He spoke to his subjects, now slaves, with nothing between them and him.
Dan began wading through the crowd. "Excuse me. Excuse me, pardon me. Sorry. Hey, stuff's gonna get better, don't you worry! Gonna... gonna be a while, but hey, you won't even notice it! Sorry, coming through! MOVE!"
"My power issssssssss unmatched and s-s-soon, Equesssstria shall bow before me"
Dan found a nice spot to watch the speech. It was like having a front row seat to history. And, when Dan had the front row to anything, there was something he found hard to resist.
King Sombra raised his shadowy hooves. "Thisssss world isssss mine, the gemsssss are mine and all of you are all MINE!!"
Dan cupped his hands. "GAAAAAAAAYYY!" he shouted.
"I... what?" Sombra stopped.
"Gay!"
"Who issssssssss saying that?"
"Over here!"
Sombra transformed into his floating head and rushed to Dan's position. "Who... or what are you?"
"Hey Sammy. Look, you don't know me, but I know a few things about you. Like that uh, you fancy the fellow fellas, if you catch my drift."
The Crystal Ponies were mostly dirty, scuffed, worn-down and downtrodden. Their enslavement had just begun a few weeks ago; King Sombra's reign was a short one. So at least one thing was about to be deferred for all the right reasons. But even as their exhausted and beaten bodies stood there, forced to listen to Sombra, they now were listening to the perplexing biped who was shouting at him. And they were beginning to whisper among themselves.
"I... what are you talking about?" Sombra reverted to pony form. And he seemed a bit defensive.
Dan folded his arms. "Oh, it's not a big deal. Well, not to me, anyway. I mean, this is the past, isn't it? You might actually be the first gay ruler Equestria's ever had. Also the first shadowy evil ruler, so a lot of firsts are happening."
"I-no, thissss iss not a firssst anything. I rule by might and I... I... I am not a gay, asss you claim."
"Assss I claim, well, sorry if you're ssssstill in the clossssssssssssset but look on the bright side," Dan said, mocking him. "Now, you don't need to worry about all the media buzz with folks later on, finding out the Empire will have two princes at some point."
"I-what? What are you even-" Sombra stepped back. The Crystal Ponies were already starting to gossip.
"The king's gay!"
"So should we call him Queen Sombra?"
"I'm gonna call him Queen Douchebag."
"Look, I'm fine with gay ponies, just as long as they don't shove that crap down my throat."
"Shelton, you ARE gay."
"I know! And I don't want him shoving his gayness down my throat!"
"Why the hell not?"
"It reminds me I don't have a boyfriend..."
"Shelton, he's evil."
"Yeah, but is he single?"
"Actually, I have proof," Dan said. And pulled out his wallet. "Wedding photos!" He held them up for the Crystal Ponies around him. "See, this is your boy right here and THIS is husband, captain orange dude. His name's, uh... Flash Gordon. Wait, no, that's wrong. It's Flash something, I know that."
"I... I..." Sombra felt the eyes on him. Mares and stallions alike giggled, his own slaves laughed at him. And he didn't even really know what they were even laughing or talking about for sure. It was just his own insecurities gnawing at him. They gnawed quite hard. His own slaves mocking him, making fun of HIM for the kind of romantic company he fancied.
But really, even the few mocking him were doing so because he was evil. If he wasn't such a tyrannical asshat, enslaving them all to dig gyms out of the literal dirt, they wouldn't have made fun of him for anything. When somebody is being that big of a douche, you take whatever you shot you can.
"I am not gay!! Gaynessssss iss... is illegal! I forbid it in thissss land!"
"...You realize how badly you're *squee*ing yourself right now, right?"
"ENOUGH!!" Sombra roared. "I am your KING! You WILL ssshow me the resssssppect I dessssserrrve!" Thunder clapped around him. A dark cloud of pure, shadowy evil brewed above him and tendrils of darkness lanced outward, piercing the light. The Crystal Ponies recoiled in fear.
But Dan didn't. "Pfffft," he scoffed. "Whatever, queermo."
Sombra blasted Dan.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....... you're still gay and your wedding suuuuccked...!"
Sombra quickly recomposed himself. He still had his shadows summoned. "You will all forget, forget everything that hasss happened to you today... everything before I wassssssss in charge! Assss of thissss moment, I am now your sole ruler, your king! You are all my crysssstal sssslavesss from thisss moment onward!"
"Well," one crystal pony behind him asked. "May I ask one question?"
The shadow pony slowly turned. He saw Reginald.
"What isssss it?"
From behind his back, Reginald revealed he was holding the Crystal Heart. "Are we invited to the wedding?"
King Sombra lunged at him. Reginald threw the Crystal Heart against the ground, shattering it. Only he and Sombra would ever remember it even happened.