a little louder

by Dashie04


…yay?

Ponies flew in the sky at the pegasus school. Eager to catch the winds, they soared to adventure and beyond. Some ponies decided to socialize with their peers, discussing all the what ifs and what mays of the day ahead. Ponies of all ages enjoyed themselves, laughing in the sunshine.

Butterscotch hid behind whatever he could find to protect him.

Butterscotch was never a social pony.

That wasn’t a new development, Butterscotch had quite literally never been a social pony. He’d never been one for any pony contact, and the thought of it gave him anxiety. According to his parents, he would rather be playing and talking with the family pets rather then going out and doing whatever Zephyr was doing. Nopony understood him when he told them he could have meaningful conversations with the animals.

This made him a nervous wreck at school. He never affirmed his presence during attendance, and the fact that he never really understood the name in the first place likely didn’t help with that.

In fact, he wasn’t good at much of anything, he couldn’t even fly properly!

This made recess the most dreaded moment of the day. Butterscotch couldn’t just stay inside, so he avoided pony contact, hoping that his peek-a-bangs would make him less of a target. Usually, that’s how normal days went, but today was not a normal day.

Butterscotch tried to avoid all the pegasi as they went about their normal recess activities. Butterscotch was content to watch other pegasi perform these normal, everyday activities, just not too jazzed about performing them himself. He simply couldn’t talk to ponies. Whenever he did, he would freeze up, his limbs would get all numb, and he’d stand there, getting more anxious by the minute.

“Look at Butterscotch! Look at how dainty and marelike he is!”

It looked like his skills were about to be tested.

“Eep!” Butterscotch squealed, recoiling back from the sudden invasion of his personal space and whipping his head around to get a better view.

Hair covered both of the ponies’ eyes, completely. Not just one eye like Butterscotch’s hair was so often doing, but both. One of them was taller than the other, but they both appeared to share the same braincell, or at least had become so accustomed to each other that their movements complemented each other.

“Ha!” the shorter one chided. “He even squeals like a mare!”

The two ponies were circling around Butterscotch now, and Butterscotch performed his best impression of a shrinking violet. Their stares penetrated him and he collapsed further to the cloud surface below him. Meanwhile the ponies circling him got in closer.

“He’s not even standing up for himself! Look at him!” the taller one said.

“I—“ Butterscotch stammered, but there it went, heart racing, vocal cords constricting, him being unable to breathe. “I—“

Was being a mare really that bad? Butterscotch already had the body of one.

But the bullies drew in closer, and this made Butterscotch even more terrified and anxious. It wasn’t their words, but their actions, getting constantly closer, sneering and snickering at him.

Butterscotch attempted to take flight. He barely cleared the bullies before falling on his face. He pulled it out of the cloud and turned back towards the bullies.

“Can’t fly, huh? Guess that's something better left to the real stallions,” the taller one sneered.

Butterscotch swung his head back and forth with a dizzying pace, stuck on the ground. He had to get away. He pulled himself onto his legs, and bolted, as fast as he could, to find a different place to sit and cry.

It didn’t take long. However, he was always checking if the bullies were on his tail. They didn’t seem to be, but you could never be too certain.

In his new place, closer to the school but away from the critical mass of ponies, Butterscotch sat down with a muffled thump.

Despite knowing there was absolutely nothing wrong with being more marelike, Butterscotch quietly cried.

This is why he avoided social encounters, because he felt too many of them would end like this. All the ponies in his face, unable to protect himself from additional infiltrations of his personal space.

As he cried, the clouds below him became ever more wet, darkening in the way a storm cloud would. Whatever the town was underneath Cloudsdale at the present moment was; they were going to get a little more rain.

He got so lost in crying that he noticed nothing else until the teacher called recess to a close.

Butterscotch once again tried to assimilate into the throes of the ponies. He tried to be forgotten about by everypony, but by the bullies most of all. His life was easier that way, less ponies trying to push him about.

The teacher noticed Butterscotch, even though he tried to hide within the mass of ponies. He didn’t know if it was his tilted head or his bloodshot eyes.

“Butterscotch?” his teacher asked.

It took him a second to respond. The name didn’t feel like it belonged to him any more now than it usually did, that being not at all. However, when he responded, he was looking his teacher directly in the eyes.

Butterscotch’s hooves were rooted to the ground, yet he felt weak. He was holding back tears, and he knew his voice would tremble with weakness in a way that indicated it. But, there was only one way out of this, and that was responding to the inquiry.

“No…” he lied. “There’s nothing wrong, Ms. Updraft.”

She didn’t seem to believe him, but she let him go. From the moment recess ended, Butterscotch wanted to go home.


It had been a day, and recess was here once again. Nervous, Butterscotch decided to take his usual position. The same one he was in when the bullies first came across him. Perhaps they wouldn’t notice? Even though he tried to reassure himself, the unpleasant experiences he had yesterday still stung. He looked all about the place. His eyes darted from one group of ponies to another, looking for those bullies once again.

He hadn’t mentioned them to anypony else. He had enough problems in social situations, he didn’t want to bring it up and inconvenience anypony. He’d rather take the abuse than do that. He could withstand this for a few more days, right? Until he got the courage to tell somepony?

Butterscotch’s nervous shivering and lip-biting gave that survey a resounding ‘no’. But…

“Look at that, the mare’s nervous!”

Butterscotch’s response this time was even more pronounced. He lept a couple inches into the air, and steadied himself on his weak legs. He quivered. The bullies were back.

They approached him ever so slowly. It was as if they were testing him even further, waiting to see how far they could get before Butterscotch finally snapped.

As their figures loomed closer, Butterscotch tried planning his escape, but it was no use. His brain was racing faster than the top students in flight class, his heartbeat louder than the wing beats of those races.

“W-wh-what’s so… wrong with that…” Butterscotch choked out, after a few grueling minutes of the approaching bullies.

The bullies laughed in a way that indicated they were not above mocking Butterscotch. “Aww, Lil’ Butterscotch doesn’t understand that the mares never get first in the races. He doesn’t understand that a race is the pegasus lifeblood,” the taller one mocked.

Butterscotch was once again melting into the cloud beneath him. The bullies almost felt larger than life, like the shadows the trees make when you’re young. It didn’t matter that they weren’t real, but they were frightening regardless.

But once again, it wasn’t the words. It was the actions, and the bullies getting closer to him were actions.

“Do you think we should slap some sense into him… sorry her?” the taller one added.

“Fantastic idea!” the shorter one said.

“D-don’t… please…” Butterscotch said. The bullies with laughing as if those words would be a fatality, but they really weren’t. They did have a point… he was never interested in the races, or the sports. Never interested in being the best, he would be perfectly fine just living contently with flowers and animals, away from the rest of ponies, being whoever he wanted to be, nothing wrong with that. His parents had said it enough.

There was nothing wrong with being a mare, and he already knew this.

This deep thought almost gave him the courage to stand up, but when the ponies in front of you are prepared to heave a haymaker, you fall back down.

Butterscotch closed his eyes and braced himself for the inevitable.

That’s when he heard a swooshing noise come down from above.

A pony landed between Butterscotch and the bullies. Short, but Butterscotch thought he recognized her prismatic mane from flight class. She was one of, if not the, best in said class. Butterscotch always found her entertaining to watch, at least.

“What do you two think you’re gonna do?”

Butterscotch, who was sprawled out on the cloud, likely having fallen down from the anxiety, lifted his head a little.

“We were just gonna lay down some punches on that ‘mare’ behind you. You got a problem with that?”

Butterscotch’s rescuer looked behind herself at Butterscotch, who gave a broken smile.

“What made you want to hurt him? Answer wisely, or else you’re gonna feel the wrath of Rainbow Dash.”

“You think your little frame is going to win against us?” the taller one said.

“I could fly circles around you on a bad day.” She flexed her wings for emphasis.

Both bullies laughed in unison. “Yeah, right. You’re a mare, you can’t do that, Rainbow Crash,” the shorter one said.

That made something snap. Butterscotch could swear he could see the mare, who he presumed was called Rainbow Dash, come to an absolute boiling point. She lifted her wings and stepped closer to the bullies, and Butterscotch shrunk even more.

Then, Rainbow Dash said through gritted teeth, “Oh yeah? Prove it. If you leave him alone today, you can prove just how much you’re better than me at tomorrow’s recess. If I win, leave him alone or else.”

“Or else what? You’re going to hit us with those small hooves of yours.” the shorter one said.

“You don’t want to know.”

“If we win?”

“You won’t.”

The bullies looked at each other. “Yeah. Sure. Fine. You’re going to lose tomorrow anyways.” the taller one added.

The bullies then walked away after that, and Rainbow Dash turned to Butterscotch, who was absolutely terrified of the mare in front of him.

“Hi, I’m Rainbow Dash. Fastest flyer in the school. You?”

Butterscotch was still lying flat on the cloud. What was the wrong answer, what would Rainbow Dash do if Butterscotch gave the wrong answer? He gulped and looked at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash flew back, so that she wasn’t so close to Butterscotch. “You’re one of the less talkative ones, huh? That’s fine. I’ll just give you your own name.”

As Rainbow Dash was looking into the sky, Butterscotch fluttered back onto his feet, and tried to get away, hoping Rainbow Dash didn’t notice him.

“That was a cute flutter,” Rainbow Dash said, still looking into the sky. “Oh! How about Flutter…shy. Fluttershy. Was I close? I bet I am.”

Butterscotch stopped trying to retreat. He wasn’t going to be able to with Rainbow Dash apparently having full vision of everything. So, just avoid all the conflict of the conversation, and get away as fast as possible.

However… there was something about that name…

“I… I don’t hate it,” Butterscotch mumbled. Did he like it better than his actual name?

“That doesn’t answer the question. Come on, I know I’m close,” Rainbow Dash said, looking at Butterscotch with a cocky smile.

“Y…yeah… y-you were close.” Avoid all conflict. But still, Fluttershy was a good name… it certainly felt closer to what he actually wanted his name to be. It described him better than Butterscotch did.

“Knew it!” Rainbow Dash shot a hoof into the air. “Seriously, what is it then?”

“Fl-Fluttershy is fine,” Butter— no— Fluttershy? Fluttershy. Fluttershy responded.

“Well, fine, if you’re not gonna give me a straight answer,” Rainbow Dash laughed as if that was funny. Fluttershy didn’t get it. “I’m just kdding, I know your name is Butterscotch. I pay attention in roll call sometimes.”

“N-no. Call me Fluttershy,” Fluttershy mumbled, though with a little less stutter than he had prior. He felt like he could actually stand in front of this mare.

“Not really a stallion’s name. But who cares? If the horseshoe fits, wear it,” Rainbow Dash responded.

Fluttershy nodded quickly.

“Look at those jerks, thinking that they got you by saying being a mare is a bad thing. Once I kill them tomorrow, they won’t be saying that again.”

Fluttershy looked at Rainbow Dash, horrified.

“I’m not actually going to kill them, you know,” Rainbow Dash said.

“But… still… there’s n-nothing wrong with being a mare.” Fluttershy responded, reassuring himself more than Rainbow Dash.

“Of course there isn’t!” Rainbow Dash did a flip in midair to prove her point. “Hay, I know a pony or two who took that advice to heart.”

Fluttershy cocked his head. He had no idea what Rainbow Dash was talking about. She was only a year or two younger than him, approximately 15 to 13, but it was still interesting to hear her talk about it.

“W-what?”

“You know, just a few mares who weren’t like that at birth,” Rainbow Dash responded, floating in the air and treating this like it was a normal thing.

“Oh,” Fluttershy replied. That didn’t sound awful… actually. Some ponies already assumed he was a mare, likely due to his lithe frame and bangs. He never corrected them. It never felt right to.

“Again, if the horseshoe fits, wear it.”

“W-why’d you save me?” Fluttershy asked. He hoped he could divert the topic. He could think about Rainbow Dash’s words later.

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m Rainbow Dash! Gotta show how awesome I am!”

Fluttershy wasn’t quite sure if Rainbow Dash was joking or not.

Regardless, she continued, “Besides, those bullies do this all the time. Every time I beat them, they never learn.”

“B-but why me?” Fluttershy asked.

“You looked like you needed it.” Rainbow Dash added with a wink.

It was right about then when the teacher called recess to a close. Rainbow Dash was about to take off, when she added, still flying and looking Fluttershy in his eyes, “Hey, Fluttershy. I’ll see you tomorrow. You may be shy, but you certainly aren’t bad.”

Then, with another wink, Rainbow Dash was gone in a prismatic blur. Fluttershy was left standing by himself, contemplating Rainbow Dash’s words.

He slowly meandered towards the door, wondering what it would be like to try and take Rainbow Dash’s words to heart.

Well, he had until tomorrow.


Fluttershy couldn’t sleep that night. Whenever he tried to, Rainbow Dash’s words would always come back to him. Logically, he knew it was possible. He didn’t have a problem with what the bullies said, but rather how they said it. He wasn’t angered that ponies considered him ‘marelike’, just that they were so aggressive with it.

This, and more, kept him up. By the time Celestia rose the sun over Equestria, Fluttershy got three hours of sleep maximum.

Regardless, despite him having to stumble around and get his breakfast this morning, he did come to school. He just came to school bleary-eyed and stifling yawns.

After all, there was a very important event going on today, and Fluttershy was a little invested in it. This race between Rainbow Dash and the bullies was going to decide Fluttershy’s fate, either he’d be socializing with Rainbow Dash, or dealing with the bullies. One option was slightly better than the other.

It wasn’t like Fluttershy hated Rainbow Dash. Socializing just sent him into a panic.

And speak of Nightmare Moon, Rainbow Dash happened to be waiting for Fluttershy at the starting line.

“Hey! Flutters!” she called.

Fluttershy shrunk a little, he didn’t want to be called by name.

The bullies looked at each other, confused. They didn’t know Fluttershy was going by Fluttershy— and to an extent, Flutters— among Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy himself. The bullies must’ve certainly thought that sounded feminine. Their response almost made Fluttershy want to stand tall and smile, if he wasn’t stumbling over his hooves.

Rainbow Dash continued, “Just the pony I wanted to see! Now, I’ve decided that since I called the race, I get the choose the guest of honor, so you’re going to wave the flag for the one and only Rainbow Dash!”

The bullies looked at each other again.

“And the other two ponies as well, but who cares about them?”

“S-sounds great… where?” Fluttershy yawned.

Rainbow Dash gestured to an isolated cloud. It was close to the starting line, but on its own.

“Um… I can’t fly…” Fluttershy said. “I-I can’t get to that cloud.”

Rainbow Dash flew over and started inspecting Fluttershy, muttering various measurements to herself, measurements like ‘lithe’ and ‘pegasus’.

All of sudden, she stated, “Yeah, I can do this.”

Rainbow Dash heaved Fluttershy up and put him on the isolated cloud. Tired, Fluttershy took a moment to process what happened. When he finally realized, he jumped, nearly falling of the cloud.

“Come on,” Rainbow Dash said, suddenly back in view. “Wouldn’t want you falling!”

This made Fluttershy jump again, as he was a little surprised, but Rainbow Dash stabilized him and dropped a flag at his feet.

“Just count to three and wave the flag, should be simpler than a 15 second lap around the gym,” Rainbow Dash said.

“But… that’s real hard…” Fluttershy tried to add. However, Rainbow Dash had already taken her position at the starting line.

“A-alright… here goes,” he muttered to himself.

Fluttershy, tired, anxious, and dysphoric, looked at the flag. The flag didn’t look back. He sighed and picked it up.

”3, 2, 1…” he practically whispered, not wanting to make his voice any louder than it had to be. After all, he was tired.

Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy, looked at the bullies, and flew over to Fluttershy’s isolated cloud.

“Look, I know you don’t want to. You don’t want to show yourself. You can. Just feel it inside you. Come on, Fluttershy, this is your race! I gotta get going, and I need a signal to do it. Come on, say it a little louder! You can be soft and loud! You’re probably tired, but it’s not anything you can’t handle. Come on, be Fluttershy.”

It took a second for the words to sink in, and Fluttershy blinked slowly for most of it. The audience was dead silent. When the words hit, he got a sudden rush, and his eyes widened. He felt a spark. Rainbow Dash wasn’t only telling him to be himself, she was encouraging him to be marelike.

He could change his voice, something softer, and he wouldn’t have to stammer all the time if he felt less pressure.

Fluttershy nodded, and Rainbow Dash flew back. After a deep breath, Fluttershy decided to say something a little louder, in a voice she’d chosen for herself.

“3, 2, 1… go!”

It wasn’t that loud, but it worked.

Fluttershy waved the flag.

The ponies took off.

Rainbow Dash was steadily in the lead.

Fluttershy closed her eyes, yawning.

Rainbow Dash continued racing.

She approached the corner which contained the isolated cloud in it.

Fluttershy wasn’t looking.

Rainbow Dash whizzed by.

The flag dropped…

…and Fluttershy fell.