I couldn’t speak, it felt as though I should have responded right away but I just could not speak.
Regardless as to whether it was the right decision or not, Twilight had basically just declared that she was willing to forsake her entire life back on Equestria to stay with me. Surely she wasn’t thinking straight, perhaps she was still in shock from getting shot in the shoulder this morning.
“Twilight.” I finally spoke, slowly.
“I… I know what you’re going to say, but hear me out.” She began.
Continuing to hold her hand, I closed my eyes and allowed her to speak.
And boy did she have a lot to say…
“I know I have a life back home, I know I have family, and friends, and Spike. My life back home was perfect, it was privileged, abundant in love and happiness. I couldn’t have asked for a better life, I’ll always love my homeland with every ounce of my being. But too much has happened, I’ve been changed by this journey, and I don’t think I can go back anymore, not after everything I’ve done. I suffered with Nah’Lek inside my head for months, he screwed with my head Callum, he did things to me that I will never be able to speak of, not to anyone, not even to you. There is so much trauma and darkness in my mind, I don’t know if I can go home with all these memories in my head, knowing that you’re still here.
You have saved my life countless times, you’ve saved me from other humans, from zombies, from the Fel, and from Nah’Lek. Heck, you saved me from myself, I owe my entire life to you, I’d be dead right now without you, so how could I possibly go back home and leave you behind?
Well the answer is simple, I can’t. After everything we’ve been through together, I can’t just leave you and simply go back to my old life, knowing that you’re still here, expected to somehow live the rest of your life as though we were never here.
If you can’t come to Equus with us by the end of all this, then I’m not going either.
We could live away from any populated areas, in a cabin in the woods somewhere, I could stay hidden and work on getting my magic back, while you got a job somewhere. Maybe your brother could visit sometimes, he knows we exist, we could trust him. It could work, we could make it work!”
Sighing heavily after such an offload of emotion, Twilight slumped into my chest and buried her face into my neck, using her free hand to delicately touch my fur. It took me a while to formulate a suitable response, but after a moment of silent thinking, I felt as though my reply was appropriate.
“Twilight, everything you’ve just said makes perfect sense, I completely understand, and I can’t begin to express how privileged I feel that you’d even consider giving up your old life for me. Trust me, the idea of never seeing you again weighs on me like a thousand daggers to the heart.
But I want you to listen to me with every ounce of your mature, logical, intelligent brain.”
I placed a hoof to her chin and raised her face so that her eyes met mine.
“You can not, stay here.”
The words that Celestia had spoken to Rainbow Dash’s adopted father rang out in the back of my mind, just as he had written it in the My Little Dashie story, which only I knew to be a true one.
‘He cannot join you in our world much like how you cannot stay in his. This was all never meant to be, and the world around us was not made to house you.’
With these words in my mind, I carried on.
“This goes beyond you and me. Hell, this goes beyond the Titans’ Orb and our quest to find it. Your soul is bound to one of the six Elements of Harmony, the Element of Magic no less. Equestria is more than just your home, it is where you are destined to belong. Your destiny was written by the Titans before you were even born, you were bound to someday find the Elements and become who you are.
Don’t you get it? The very Titans have woven you into the fabric of Equus! And when that bastard Nah’Lek came from another dimension, his arrival on Equus created a tear in that fabric. He should have been executed when Celestia had the chance, she was a fool to imprison him, to attempt to contain an anomaly from beyond your plane of existence! This entire calamity happened because that monster remained on your planet, his very presence was a threat to the fate of your world, it was only a matter of time before he broke free and destroyed the orb. He’s ripped a gaping hole into the fabric that the Titans wove, and the whole point of this quest is to repair that damage.
If you stay here, a piece of that fabric will permanently be missing, what do you think happens then? What happens to the Element of Magic without you? What happens to the whole written fate of Equus, the legacy of the Titans? You would be endangering the stability of your world.”
Twilight furrowed her brow and narrowed her eyes as she thought on these words, possibly thinking about the implications of her actions.
I chose to continue.
“Can you truly do that to the homeland you claim to love?
Could you willingly leave the whole future of Equus to chance? To forsake destiny itself?
My world is a godless one, it has no written fate, it’s just drifting around in a void until it one day ceases to exist, when our sun becomes a red giant and swallows it up. There’s no plan, there’s no reason to any of it. People are born, they exist for a while, and then they die, and none of it matters!
Are you willing to be the reason Equus meets the same fate?”
Exhaling, Twilight processed my words, before coming back at me with an argument.
“If you’re right, then the damage has already been done. When Nah’Lek came to Equus, it was a catastrophe, his actions caused the Repugnant War for crying out loud! There’s no repairing that damage, you can’t just right a wrong and expect the whole fabric of destiny to be alright again, it’s like stitching up a stab wound and neglecting all the vital organs that have been critically injured on the inside.
Equus is already well on its way to being a fateless one, just look at how Rainbow Dash accidentally ended up on Earth before, as a toddler for that matter! Destiny is fading, and it will continue to do so regardless if I go home or not. I’m not the reason Equus will someday end up without a written fate, Nah’Lek is, and there’s nothing we can do to stop that. And for what it’s worth, if everything were up to the Titans’ written destiny, I’d have never met you.”
“Twilight, c’mon…”
“You know I’m right, Callum! Nah’Lek had been imprisoned in Tartarus for thousands of years, yet the whole planet didn’t suddenly implode. Perhaps we don’t need destiny, maybe Equus needs to become a master of its own fate, instead of being part of an ancient story that was written by gods who are dead now!”
“I’ve seen them with my own eyes y’know?”
“Yes, in a memory, looped in time. Those are just fragments of the Titans that only exist within your sword to initiate the next Champion. Oh, and speaking of that, you’re the current Champion, so what happens when we find the Orb? That sword belongs to you now, and no one else can wield it, so how is it right that you’re supposed to abandon it at the end of all this?
I’ll tell you how, it’s not! It’s NOT RIGHT!”
Shrugging me off and getting to her feet, Twilight continued to rant with tears in her eyes, her hands shaking as they clenched into fists.
“This whole thing is bullshit! For the first time in my life, I think Princess Celestia is wrong, she has no idea you’re the Champion, her very creator chose you to defend Equus! What right does she have to deny you a place in Equestria? She has no right, that’s what!”
I got to my hooves and tried to calm her down, she was beginning to lose control.
“Twilight, we cannot lose sight of why we’re here and why we’re doing this. Nah’Lek has an army, and he’s hellbent on laying waste to Equus with it. My purpose as Champion is to help you find the Orb shards and get you home. Once that’s done, my purpose will have been fulfilled, and you would have given me the best life I could ever ask for.”
“But that’s just it, you say it like your life will be over. If we go home and you stay here, what will you do? Are you going to return home? Announce you’re not dead? Start a new life? Kill yourself? What the heck happens to you if we leave you behind?”
I froze momentarily. Holy shit, what was I going to do when all this was over? She was right to some degree, when the girls went home, my life was over. How could I return to an ordinary life after everything I’d been through? Was I being a hypocrite for telling her that she had to go home?
No, I couldn’t have been. Twilight’s world was full of mythical and fantastical things, and she had friends and family back home that would be able to grasp the life we’ve lived, she’d have support and options for counselling, she could be rehabilitated into the world; meanwhile there wasn’t a single human being on Earth that could comprehend what I’d seen, or what I’d done.
“I don’t know.” I sighed.
“Exactly, which is why I have to stay.”
Twilight approached me again after calming down somewhat, and took one of my hooves in her hands.
“I renounce the Element of Magic, and my place as Princess Celestia’s student. As soon as I’ve fulfilled my duty of finding all six shards of the Titans’ Orb and saving Equus, I will remain here at your side, I’m choosing to be the ruler of my own destiny, and I choose to stay with you.”
She wasn’t going to back down, not like this. I hated myself for knowing it, but I needed to hurt her feelings in order to make her listen, I needed to break her heart.
Gritting my teeth and exhaling through them, I looked down and shook my head.
“Twilight, you need to get this through your head. You cannot stay here, and I cannot go with you. Just think about it, you’d have no life here, no friends, no family, and nothing to aspire to. You’d spend your whole life hidden away, with the constant potential of getting discovered and captured at any time. Do you truly want to complete your mission and save Equus, only to stay here and risk get stolen and experimented on by a bunch of human scientists? Not only would you disrupt harmony in your world, but you’d also cause havoc in mine, because if humans knew an alien unicorn from another world exists, chaos would be sure to follow. Religions would be shattered, whole ways of life would be altered. And that’s only if they aren’t convinced you’re some sort of demon, people would try to hunt you down. Do you want that pressure? For the rest of your life?
We would have only two choices, an entire life full of chaos as every human on the planet tries to get a piece of you. Or an entire life on the run and in hiding, constantly afraid of being found. And no matter what, you’d spend either of those lives as the only member of your species, with only a mirror and a fucking cartoon show to remind you of what your own kind looks like. You’d be an alien forever, doomed to die alone on a foreign planet.
That’s no life, and I will not let you disown yourself to live it.
Especially all for me.”
“But-”
“But nothing! For fucks’ sake Twilight you are not staying here! You don’t belong on this planet, and you never will, this is not your home.” I spat.
“YOU, are my home!” Twilight bellowed.
Bursting into tears, she fell to her knees and resigned all strength, curling into herself and sobbing into her hands. I felt my lips quivering with emotion as I slowly padded over to her and wrapped my forelegs around her, holding her tightly.
“Twilight, you’ve given me a life I couldn’t have possibly imagined. You’ve given me a crazy, wild, horrifying, beautiful adventure. It’s been full of pain and it’s been full of wonder, I’ve lived several lifetimes already, and the story isn’t even over yet! By the time we find the Orb shards and you’re ready to go home, I’m certain that I’ll have lived several lifetimes more. So no matter what happens, I’ll have lived a fulfilled life, you can let me go, knowing that you’ve given me everything I could have wanted.
I’ve made the best friends I ever could have made, I’ve felt the thrills of danger, the heat of battle, the passion of lovemaking, the sights of Portuguese mountain tops and Brazilian jungles. I’ve experienced the impossible, the supernatural, I’m literally in your body right now! I’ve seen monsters, orcs, and radioactive zombies, I’ve been amongst drug lords and even been in the presence of an interplanetary demi-god guardian! And need I mention the Titans? I’ve literally stood before six gods and been proclaimed a holy warrior, and did battle with the Champion before me, whom I also had the privilege of calling friend.
I met Bunnie, I fell in love, Twilight! And despite how that came to end, I’m thankful that I had the privilege of being in love with someone before I die. I’ve experienced everything there is to life, and as painful as it will be to see you go, I’ll have a smile on my face when you’re gone.”
I had been cradling her from side to side as I told her all of this, and it had thankfully calmed her down and stopped her sobbing; she wiped her nose and looked at me, taking in my words.
Mentioning Bunnie definitely tugged at her heartstrings, but for once it had been in a good way, I had worded it in a way that told her it was okay to move forward.
“You… You mean that?” She stammered quietly.
Beaming at her warmly and slowly blinking, I nodded.
“I promise you, Twilight. No matter what, I will be smiling at the end of this story.
But you have to go home for that to happen.”
Pulling her in closer, I planted a kiss on her forehead, to which she sighed heavily and relaxed again.
After a long cuddle, she faintly breathed her reply, putting an end to her former decision.
“Okay…”
“So, are we clear?” I asked, giving her a painfully weak smile.
Dipping her head, she confirmed that she would return home, no matter how painful it was going to be.
“Good girl.” I murmured.
After a brief silence, Twilight proposed that we should leave the mindscape and return to our own bodies, to which I concurred.
“Yeah, I’d like to see how the others are getting on, I think the weed’s worn off a fair bit too.” I hummed.
“So, do we need to die to get out, like it usually is?”
“Probably, but first let’s just lay on our backs and try to mentally will ourselves out.” I suggested.
“Agreed, pain of death doesn’t really seem like a nice way to end such a DMC.”
“What’s a DMC?”
“Deep, meaningful, conversation. It’s a girl thing.” She clarified.
“Ugh, sometimes I forget that I’m travelling the world with six sissy girls.”
“Don’t let Applejack hear you call her sissy, she’ll have your head.”
We chuckled together and lay down, gazed at the sky teeth together, and allowed ourselves to zone out and concentrate on a single phrase, “wake up”.
{Wake up, Callum. It’s time to leave this place. Wake up.} I told myself internally.
Twilight did the same, and one by one, the sky teeth vanished; their disappearances slowly turned the night sky into a pitch-black void, barren of all colour and light; the abyss then proceeded to descend upon us in the form of a thick sludge, dripping down and enveloping the trees, swallowing the world around us. And soon enough, we were swallowed too, and both mind and matter capitulated to the liquid darkness.
My eyes slowly quivered open, and I found myself staring at the ceiling of the yacht’s lower deck, with my peripheral vision ever so faintly swaying side to side to the cadence of the ocean waves. Rolling my head to one side, I found Twilight next to me, also waking up and adjusting to being back in her own body.
“I miss fingers already.” She muttered.
“Yeah, fingers are great.” I replied, tightening my hands into fists as I stretched.
I sat upright, far too quickly, to which I was instantly met with the sensation of my blood rushing to my head, causing me great dizziness and a temporary loss of vision.
“Ah.” I groaned.
“What is it?” Asked Twilight, concerned.
“Nothing, just the blood rushing to my head.” I explained.
“From.” She said.
“Huh?”
“The blood rushes from your head, it’s called postural hypotension.”
“Of course you’d know the medical term for it…” I scoffed.
Taking things much slower, I got up and allowed my brain to fully adjust to being in a human body again, the sensations of my recent equine form faded away, and soon enough I was back to normal. I got to my feet and decided to go check on Dashie and Fluttershy, perhaps they’d sobered up too.
“I’ll come back and check on you later, okay?” I told Twilight, briefly patting her wrist.
“Alright, I’m going to rest some more.”
Nodding, I turned away and left the room, heading upstairs to the upper deck where I found everyone hanging out in the living quarters. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack were chatting on the sofa, meanwhile Pinkie pie was prodding a seemingly deceased Rainbow Dash, whom was in a slumped sitting position, barely able to even raise her head to see me, needless to say she was utterly zonked.
“Well look who it is!” Rarity called to me, waving.
“Hey guys.” I replied sheepishly.
“Have a nice nap? Lover boy?” Applejack teased.
Furrowing my brow slightly, I demanded to know what she meant, to which Rarity chipped in.
“Oh she’s just teasing, she came to check in on you both and found the door shut with the two of you fast asleep together. It’s not exactly difficult to assume you were after some alone time.”
Frowning even more, I shut down this untrue presumption before it could gestate any further than it already had, which seemed to be a fair amount.
“Right, well firstly, the poor girl just got shot! I wanted to spend some time with her because she’s both bedbound and in pain. And secondly, we weren’t asleep, we were using the magic collars to see what my brain looked like while on drugs.” I snapped back.
“Hmph, fair enough dear. It’s just that we were expecting you to come back after bringing food to Twilight, and then poof, you were gone for over an hour! Besides, it’s not exactly a secret that you’re awfully close to each other.” She hinted.
“Okay, and? What’s your point?” I growled.
“Darling, we’re only messing with you! There’s no need to be defensive about it.”
“Then stop trying to romanticise us then!”
“It’s hard not to do that when the two of you are cuddling each other all the time.” Applejack piped up.
“Pfft! What!? We are not cuddling all the time.”
Applejack simply looked back at me with a dull expression, one eyebrow fully raised. Rarity tagged in and brought up all the times I’ve supposedly been ‘snuggled up’ to Twilight.
“You’ve been sharing a bed with her almost every night since Portugal dear, and just the other day when we were playing Ogres and Oubliettes, she was practically your scarf the entire time!”
“And yesterday morning she was asleep on your lap, when you were outside keeping watch.” Applejack pointed out.
“And she was the only one who freaked out when she found out that we boned!” Rainbow Dash merrily hummed, before returning to her comatose state.
Inhaling through my nose and slowly licking my bottom lip in frustration, after fighting the urge to snap at them, I then sat down on the closest chair and put my hands together.
“Guys, look…”
I exhaled slowly, before cautiously continuing.
“A couple of years ago, when my depression was at an all-time low, I tried to take my own life, I went into my family’s medicine cabinet and swallowed every pill I could find. Needless to say, I very nearly died. I went into cardiac arrest and was in the hospital for two weeks, being pumped with antidote for paracetamol poisoning. I felt so alone, and so lost, it just felt like the only way out. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do, it felt like the only thing I had control over.
When Twilight tried to kill herself in Portugal, it really got to me. I saw myself in her, I saw that desperation to escape all the endlessly cascading emotions, all that pain. It was like looking into a mirror of my former self, and since then I’ve felt connected to her in a way that I can’t really explain. But, she feels the connection too, and after everything she’s been through, she is extremely vulnerable right now.”
Noticing that my hands were shaking a little bit, I took a moment to breathe and focused less on the emotional lament, and more on the point I was actually trying to make. Sighing, I continued.
“Twilight is completely dependent on me right now, and feels like she owes her life to me, so I’m being there for her as much as I can be, which means yeah, we are awfully close right now, and I’ll hold her whenever she needs to be held.
But we aren’t an item, this isn’t some bloody romance, okay? It’s trauma. So, the next time you want to make some little off-comment about how close we are, maybe consider the fact that Twilight is incredibly broken right now, and I’m doing what I can to piece her back together, and it’s really fucking hard when you’re the only one who understands how much pain she’s been through.”
The tears finally left my eyes and I quickly wiped them away, but not before the girls noticed; before I could keep talking, Rarity stepped forward and put a foreleg around my neck.
“It’s okay, darling. It’s okay. You’re right, and we’re sorry.” She spoke softly.
“We really are, I didn’t realise it was that bad.” Said Applejack, hanging her head.
After Rainbow Dash clambered to her hooves and apologised as well, I expressed my thanks to everyone and gave an apology of my own for suddenly getting so emotional. I didn’t realise how sensitive I was about the matter, but I felt better for getting it off my chest.
“I didn’t know you tried to… Well…” Rarity trailed off.
“Yeah, it was at one of my lowest points. Thankfully I’ve not felt like that since meeting you all, the depression still likes to come around sometimes and I feel all blank and lethargic, but it’s nothing like it used to be.” I admitted.
“So, um, changing the subject. What was it like inside your head when you used the collars, with the marijuana affecting it?” Fluttershy queried.
I cast my mind back to everything that had just occurred inside my mindscape and chuckled to myself, before looking back to Fluttershy with a sly smile.
“Allow me to answer your question, with a question. Have you ever heard of sky teeth?”
Two days had passed since we had claimed the yacht, and we were well on our way to reaching America; I had absolutely no idea how we were going to get to Michigan upon arrival, let alone find this Alex fellow, but thankfully I wasn’t the only planner on this vessel.
“Remember back when we left your home in England, and you didn’t want your dogs to run away or get hurt, so you contacted one of your nearby friends to ask if he could keep them?” Twilight asked.
“Aye?” I replied.
“Didn’t he know about us? Wasn’t he one of those brony people who watched the cartoon like you did?”
“He was indeed.”
“Well, what if you were able to reach out to some other bronies in America? I’m sure someone out there will be able to help us find Alex, perhaps even provide us with transport? Do you think that’s something that’s doable?”
“Hm…” I hummed.
In all fairness, the idea was superb, there were tens of thousands of bronies across the states that could be able to help us out, although I’d need to find one capable of keeping their shit together upon discovering that Equestria was real, because for as many of them that were capable of helping us, there were a hundred fold more that would desperately beg to go to their world and be transformed into a pony or something of that ilk. We’d also need to find someone capable of keeping a secret, the last thing we needed was someone blabbing to the entire brony community that the girls were real, while unlikely that anyone would believe them, it was still something to be wary of.
Only two names came to mind, and neither of them were in Michigan.
Firstly, there was Josh Osburn, he was a chap based in Iowa and would be ideal for transport, he worked as a disaster relief worker and had his very own modified school bus that he used for the job, which was perfect for long-haul journeys; I didn’t know him incredibly well but I had always entertained his overly enthusiastic correspondence in respect for what he did for a living, not everyone in the world had the heart to drive from disaster zone to disaster zone in order to help survivors across the country.
Josh was a little bit of an oddball, well, in actual fact he was very much an oddball; odd to the point where he already believed that Equestria was a real place, regardless of having no evidence, and although I had once thought it delusional and childish, I suppose he had been right all along. Introducing him to the girls would hardly be all that difficult, seeing as he was already convinced they were real, but just as I had to subvert my expectations upon our first encounter, Josh would have to subvert his.
And then there was Rommel, (or Mel as he preferred to be called), thankfully far less odd than Josh, and while Mr Osburn had a modified school bus for us to use, Mel on the other hand, had guns.
Hailing from a small town in New Hampshire, Rommel Panzo was one of my first ever brony friends, and like any decent American stereotype, he loved his Second Amendment right to bear arms.
If it was a legal firearm, Mel owned it. If it was an illegal firearm, Mel probably owned that too. Although I was contented with my sword, and Rarity with the Piercing Shot Rifle, it couldn’t hurt to acquire some extra firepower from a reliable friend.
Upon making landfall, I’d need to get to a computer as quickly as possible and try to contact both of these people and hope at least one of them would be interested in helping us. I’d try to contact my brother too for that matter, it would be nice to hear how he’s been getting on.
Deciding to get a move-on, I took the helm and got the yacht moving at top speed again, the sooner we got to land the better, one rogue wave and one gang attack was plenty enough to call our sea-faring adventure a day.
Taking a break shortly after lunchtime, (which featured the leftovers of Applejack’s pea salad), I gradually brought the yacht to a halt just as Rarity had made her way up to the flight deck with a folded white towel floating beside her in her telekinetic grasp, along with a bottle of shampoo.
“How far to go, skipper?” She asked, brushing up against my side.
“At this pace, a day. Probably a day and a half to give the engine a break.” I answered.
“Wonderful!”
Turning away from me, Rarity went over to the hot tub at the back of the fly bridge and switched it on.
“A bit early for a soak, isn’t it?” I teased.
“It’s not for me. And besides, a lady can bathe whenever she wishes.” She retorted.
“Who’s it for then?”
Rarity didn’t need to answer as Twilight limped her way up the stairs and onto the fly bridge with Fluttershy at her side, the bandages from her shoulder had been removed, revealing a fair portion of dried Oozima, darkened by old blood.
“Now, I’m only going to say this once. Don’t itch it, okay?” Fluttershy instructed.
“Ugh, fine.” The purple unicorn grumbled in response.
Stepping back from the controls, I came over and asked if it was a good idea for Twilight to bathe an injury so severe this soon, to which Fluttershy assured me that the Oozima had done its job, and that the wound needed some fresh air after a good wash.
“Alright, well I trust in your medical expertise.” I conceded.
Before Fluttershy gave me a verbal response, she noticed Twilight already trying to itch the injury before she’d even stepped into the hot tub, and quickly went to give the unicorn a smack on the back of the head.
“Ow! Fluttershy!”
“What did I just tell you?”
“I’m sorry! I can’t help it, it itches so badly!”
Fluttershy turned to me and ordered me to babysit, to which I dipped my head and then got undressed down to my underwear.
“Um, what do you think you’re doing?” Twilight asked nervously.
“Babysitting.” I replied, stepping into the hot tub.
Immersing myself in the hot water, I let out a satisfied groan as the warmth surrounded me.
“That’s… not exactly what I meant, but so long as you keep her from itching that shoulder.” Fluttershy hummed.
“I will, don’t worry.” I replied, grinning.
“Guess I’ll fetch you a towel too then?” Rarity asked with an eyebrow raised.
“If you’d be so kind, oh and a fresh pair of boxers please.”
Rolling her eyes, Rarity strutted off back downstairs. Fluttershy then gave Twilight another cuff on the back of the head.
“Oww! What the hay, I didn’t even itch it that time!” Twilight squealed.
“That was for when you inevitably do.”
Giggling to herself, Fluttershy headed off, leaving the two of us alone. Twilight relaxed properly and lay back in the water, sighing heavily.
“Gosh, now this was what I needed.”
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” I asked, laying back as well and shutting my eyes.
“You have no idea.”
“Um, I think I do. I’ve been shot too y’know? More than once as a matter of fact, and I didn’t get a nice bath afterwards for any of them.”
“Yeah well, shut up.”
“Rude.”
Exhaling out of her nose with amusement, Twilight floated over and rested up against me.
“How many times have you been shot again?”
“Pfft, I haven’t kept count. Let me think…”
Casting my mind back, I thought of all the unfortunate times where I’d met a bullet. My first three were all at once back in Brazil when we were caught by Inigo, those were probably the nastiest as the wound in my shoulder got horribly infected, it was only thanks to Nicole that I’d not died from bloody sepsis. A bullet had also skimmed me when I first arrived in Portugal, but I otherwise didn’t take a hit until I was shot by Hoyt himself, with my heavily modified phone stopping the bullet. Following that, the only other time I’d been shot was after acquiring Vitra ‘Aku, which was a damn good thing as the bullet wound would have most certainly killed me, on account of it being from an AK-Forty Seven.
“Um… Six, I think?” I said after a moment of racking my brains.
“Well, I’m just four more bullets away from beating you.”
“Let’s not make that a competition.” I nervously chuckled.
“Only because I’d win.”
“Because we’d die you stupid girl.”
“I’m kidding, you dumb oaf.”
Ruffling her mane, I let out a nice long breath and zoned out a bit, allowing myself to take in the hot tub’s splendour.
“Oh yeah, I was going to wash my mane.” Said Twilight after a good twenty minutes of silence.
“Need a hand with that? Seeing as you have no magic?” I offered.
“Um… Okay, sure!”
I reached over and grabbed the shampoo bottle, reading the label I noticed that it was a brand from Canterlot, named Trèsimane.
{That’s just laughably close to TRESemmé.} I thought to myself in amusement.
“Lavender and vanilla scented?” I hummed, inspecting the label further.
“Yeah, those are two of my favourite smells, I’ve been using this stuff for years.”
Twilight shut her eyes and dunked her head under the water to soak her mane, and then turned away from me so I could get to work; squirting a fair portion into my hand, I slowly began to massage it into the back of her head and work my way down to the roots, as I did so, I recognised the scent more and more.
“Have you used this before while you’ve been on Earth?” I asked.
“Yeah, I used it once just before leaving Equestria, once when I returned from my solo trip to Chernobyl, and once in Portugal when we used Rarity’s bath bombs.”
“I thought it smelled familiar.”
Continuing to knead the shampoo into her mane, I worked my way to the top of her head, drawing a satisfied hum from her.
“I tell you, those hands of yours are just as good as magic, if not better.” She hummed.
“Oh, these old things?” I replied with a smirk, before applying pressure with my fingernails, lightly scratching her head and behind her ears.
“Gah…”
I scratched all over her head and down the back of her neck, causing her hind leg to twitch.
“You sure you aren’t secretly a masseur or something?” She groaned.
“Nah, just good with my hands.”
“I can see why Rainbow Dash is so… into them.”
“Twilight!”
Tutting and shaking my head while she giggled away, I continued lathering up her mane until it was all frothy, and then instructed her to tilt her head back so the hair was submerged and I could wash it all out. When I was done, she lay against me and sighed, thanking me for taking the time to help her.
“You know, no one has washed my mane since I was just a little filly, my dad used to do it for me.”
“That’s sweet.” I replied, wrapping my arms around her.
“Yeah, my mother was terrible at it, she’d always get soap in my eyes and make me cry. But dad? He would always take so much care in it, he’d cover my eyes and keep me safe, he really cared. Poor Shining Armor would always get so jealous.”
“How come?”
“Well, it was no secret that dad had always wanted a girl, so when I came along, he was all over me, and I think Shiny got left out a little bit. But the strangest part, is that he never resented me for it, and actually ended up just as protective over me as dad did.”
“Heh, big brothers can be that way. Before my dad left, Oliver was so protective over me, as a seven-year-old boy he was ready to fight kids twice his size and age just to protect me.”
“That’s adorable… I’m sorry that all went away for you, after your dad disappeared.”
“Eh, it was a rather shite ordeal, but we’re long past it now, ey?”
“I guess so.”
Tightening my grip on the mare, I gave her a good ol’ cuddle before laying back properly and enjoying the hot tub for myself, now surrounded by the pleasant aroma of lavender and vanilla.
Rarity arrived just as the sun was beginning to set, placing another towel and some boxers down close to the hot tub for me, to which I thanked her.
“You two having a nice time? You’ve been soaking for almost two hours!”
“It’s been splendid, thanks.” Twilight merrily hummed.
“Well, dinner is mushroom stir-fry, and it’s ready on the stove when you want it.”
“Thanks Rare, is that your cooking or Applejack’s?” I asked.
“Fluttershy’s actually.”
“Fair one, well I look forward to trying it.”
Rarity dipped her head and was about to head back below deck, when she spotted something out to sea.
“What is it?” I quizzed.
“Um… You might want to get out of the tub… Like, now…” She murmured.
Twisting around and looking out to where she was facing, I saw exactly what had got her so startled.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake.” I growled.
Twilight peered out to sea and saw it too, gulping nervously. I grabbed the towel and dried off as quickly as possible, before changing back into my clothes and frantically trying to think of what to do.
“Are they another gang?” She asked.
I shook my head.
“Pirates?”
“Worse…” I murmured.
“What could be worse than pirates while out on the open sea?” Rarity demanded to know.
Looking Rarity dead in the eye, I furrowed my brow and told her exactly what.
“Americans.”