Another week another portal jump.
I had lost count of how many dimensions I had visited by now, although I made a point of not mentioning this as I was sure Twilight would be able to tell me.
As always, Shining Armor preceded the rest of the group. When I completed my transition through the portal, I took in the scenery through the magenta glow of his shield.
What I saw was a whole lot of nothing – well, unless you counted the trees. The valley glimpsed through breaks in the canopy confirmed we were on the side of Canterlot Mountain as expected, but there was nothing here: no city, no castle, no ponies. After Twilight and Penumbra joined us, Shining dropped the shield. A quick flight showed no signs of Ponyville or any other settlements within view. All that could be seen was untouched wilderness.
Was this a world where ponies never migrated to Equestria? Or like that one universe Twilight and I visited where ponies never evolved into sapient beings?
After the three fliers rejoined Shining, a sharp sound in the distance interrupted our discussion. A slow trek through the trees led us to a stone cabin built in a small clearing. A fenced-in garden spread out over much of the open space. What I could only assume was this dimension’s Celestia levitated two stones above a roughly cut section of wood. The upper stone struck the wedge-shaped lower stone three times, splitting the log in two. Nearby, a primitive hoe leaned against the cabin wall. Next to me, Twilight let out a small gasp.
This Celestia didn’t have the princess-perfect look of most of her counterparts. Her mane did not have an ethereal quality. Instead, it was grimy and tied back by a scarf. Her coat was far from clean, and she wore no crown or other golden accouterments. While still possessing the impressive height, this alicorn looked thin and malnourished. What surprised me most was the lack of a cutie mark.
She didn’t acknowledge our presence as we approached, just keeping at her task. When we reached the fence, she spoke without turning to face us.
“What do you lot want? If it’s food, then you are wasting your time. I don’t have any to spare. Trust me when I say you don’t want a fight. Or did you just come here to gawk at the freak?”
A couple of puzzle pieces fell into place on how this world’s timeline had played out. I said, “We’re not here for any of those things, Miss. We’re travelers from another dimension where our Equestria’s history is very different from this one’s. I am Prince Mark and these are Princess Twilight Sparkle, Prince Shining Armor, and Captain Penumbra. Twilight and I are two parts of the Triarchy that rules our Equestria. We’ve come to explore and, where needed, provide aid to other versions of Equestria. Could you tell us a bit about this dimension? Like why you thought we were here for food or to fight.”
When I had started talking, Celestia turned to face us and gaped. “More winged unicorns,” she muttered. “And a night pegasus out of legend.”
Penumbra lifted her head proudly and winked at me. I knew I’d be hearing for weeks about how my herdmate had been acknowledged by none other than a bona fide Celestia as truly legendary.
The white alicorn shook her head. “Well, OK, that’s a first. I’m Celly and I live here with my sister, Luna. She’s asleep in the cabin. We trade shifts to keep watch; she takes the night and I take the day.” She tilted her head and smiled. “So winged unicorns are royalty in your land? Must be nicer than being a freak. That’s what the three tribes labeled me and my sister.”
Twilight stepped forward. “Winged unicorns are called alicorns in other dimensions. They embody one or more powerful aspects of their worlds. My affinities are magic and friendship. Mark’s special talent is lightning.”
Penumbra said, “…and collecting alicorn wives. He isn’t picky which dimension they come from.”
I scowled and gave my herdmate a dark look. When I brought my eyes back to Celestia, her ears were pointed directly at me. Wonderful. Great job, Penny.
Celestia blushed. “Uh, so anyway… I’m not sure how much more I can tell you. We’ve been living here together in the wilderness for I don’t know how long since none of the tribes would accept us. Plus, when we lived closer to the tribes, all three of them would come to harass us. If more than one group came at once. we’d spend days cleaning up the mess from the fight they would have on our doorstep.”
Twilight shuffled on her hooves, clearly distressed not only by the sad life this version of Celestia had lived, but also that ponykind was living so unharmoniously. “The tribes aren’t working together in this dimension? They’re still at war? What about the Windigos?”
Celestia furrowed her brow. “The Win-dig-what’s? Never heard of them.”
“Then why did the tribes migrate to Equestria?”
“You used that name before. Is that what you call this part of the world?” At our acknowledging nods, she continued. “The tribes never migrated, they colonized this area, oh, about a thousand years ago. It was a contest between the three on who could claim the most territory in this new land. A little after the second wave of settlers arrived, the three tribes’ war back in the motherland intensified. From what I heard, they destroyed the homeland in their fighting; it’s nothing but blasted wasteland now. Since the colonies were still dependent on the homeland for shipments of food and manufactured goods, the lives of the colonist ponies here weren’t easy once those supplies ran out. This was made even worse by the refugees who escaped the destruction with nothing but their hides. The stragglers did bring one thing with them: the fighting. The fools got the bright idea to start raiding each other for supplies; thus, starting the whole conflict all over again here. The last time I checked their settlements, ponies had regressed to arming themselves with stone weapons. I don’t know what state they might be in now. As I said, my sister and I aren’t welcome. They may have died out; you are the first ponies I’ve seen in at least a hundred years.”
I frowned. It seemed that without the guidance of the princesses or the mutual threat of Windigos, the three tribes of this dimension lacked the push toward working together. They had gone the other way and paid a steep price.
While our party exchanged a few words, the alicorn excused herself and headed into the cabin. Celestia woke her sister whose complaints we could hear clearly through the chinks in the cabin walls. The griping only stopped when I heard Celestia’s voice get in some words edgewise. The two I could make out were “stallion” and “handsome”. Penumbra’s superior hearing and wide grin reinforced my hunch that the alicorn was not referring to Shining Armor.
When Luna emerged, her face was wet and clean, but the rest of her looked just as bedraggled as her sister. It seemed that in this dimension washing one’s face constituted making oneself presentable.
Luna’s jaundiced eye roamed across the four of us while her sister got her up to speed. Celestia finished with, “Is there anything you want to ask our guests, Luna?”
The dark alicorn huffed. “Now you’ve seen our world – when do we leave to visit yours?”
The sisters were more than willing to allow us to use their cabin as a basecamp for some of our guards. We conversed a while longer with what I had come to think of as Hermit Celestia and Luna while Twilight took the steps to set up a permanent portal.
Shining suggested doing a reconnaissance of where the sisters recalled the three tribes were last located. This would allow us to better decide how to proceed with this dimension.
We extended the offer to visit our dimension to Hermit Celestia and her sister and they jumped at the chance to do so. I couldn’t help but wonder if their eagerness was out of wanting to end their loneliness or confirm our assurances that ponies in our dimension wouldn’t treat them as undesirables.
My herdmate, Celestia, had taken Loopy to Mount Aris for the week to introduce her to Queen Novo and for some relaxation time. Instead, Rarity and Penumbra took charge of our visitors as soon as they arrived in the Castle of Friendship portal room. They told the sisters that the country village of Ponyville would be their first destination. Inwardly, I agreed that the bustling metropolis of Canterlot might be too severe a culture shock. Unsurprisingly, Rarity insisted that the Ponyville Spa was the first order of business. When I switched to Marklestia form, Hermit Celestia fell on her rump in shock. Doing my best to ignore the unrestrained laughter of her sister, I offered to accompany my herdmates.
Rarity patted me on the withers. “Mark, darling, there are subjects to be discussed that would turn your delicate ears red with embarrassment. Another time, perhaps.”
Penny added, “Any other time. Not this time. Trust us.”
I knew better than to argue with my mares. Still, I put my mouth next to the fashionista’s ear. “Let me know if a Royal Command Performance is in order. I don’t mind giving up some of my favorite outfits to this Celestia.”
Rarity gave me a long kiss. “Thank you, Mark. That won’t be necessary, but I love you for offering.”
Penny came to my side and whispered, “I heard that. Only one Element of Generosity allowed in this herd.” She then belied those words with a long and sensuous kiss that left me hungry for more. Unfortunately, that would have to wait as my herdmates chivvied the two begrimed alicorns out the door.
The hermit alicorns returned hours later prancing on their pedicured hooves. They flaunted their exquisitely styled manes and tails. Their coats had lost the overlying shades of gray and brown, now displaying the familiar Prussian blue and alabaster. Suspiciously, the pair presented me with a detailed list of their demands in exchange for allowing a portal to remain on their homestead. In addition, our citizens could establish (well-fortified) settlements of our own in their world. Perhaps seeing a multitude of races cooperating peacefully would serve as an example to the bickering tribes. Squinting at the hornwriting and shape of the bullet-points confirmed that the dictation had been made to Twilight Sparkle. The final bullet read, “Prince Mark Wells will take the two of us to party at Luna’s nightclub this very evening.”
“Is there a reason you are dawdling, Dowser?” Trixie walked past me, already garbed in a dress suitable for dancing all night.
I sighed as I tossed the scroll onto a nearby table. These pushy mares had already made all the decisions for me, it seemed. “Terms accepted. Let’s take care of the last item first.”
The two sisters squealed like foals and planted kisses on my cheeks before I had a chance to react.
A few days later, we returned a very happy pair of alicorn sisters to their cabin – their new saddlebags loaded with food and a variety of items they were unable to create themselves or have the opportunity to enjoy. Both sisters treasured the gift of a simple gramophone and records to play on it. Both had fallen in love with orchestral music – something they had never experienced in their past. Celestia had been brought to tears of happiness by the steel axe and saw. The tools had the best self-sharpening enchantment that bits could buy. Luna’s pride and joy was a telescope larger than herself. A hoof-scribbled addition to the margin of their demands specified an observatory that was already under construction before they returned.
After a week of searching, the scouts found the three tribes, or at least what was left of them.
Their reports described the settlements as extremely primitive but also very hostile. All three settlements featured crude stone barricades behind moats. The nearby trees had been cleared to create lines of sight for kill zones. It was clear the tribes were still not working together and were just barely above the tech level of cave ponies. The earth ponies seemed to be in the best shape, mostly because they retained the knowledge of agriculture. The other two tribes appeared to survive through foraging.
This left me and my fellow Triarchs in a bit of a bind. We were unsure of whether or how we should intercede. Twilight wanted to provide food, but Trixie stated that would only feed them for a while and encourage sloth or looting from the other tribes. It felt to me like a case of ‘Give a man a fish and feed him for today. Teach a man to fish feed him for life’ type of situation.
We tried to persuade Hermit Celestia and Luna to take the reins of power but that was immediately rejected. That surprised Trixie and Twilight but not me. The not-royal sisters had no love for the descendants of the ponies that had run them out of society and into a life of seclusion and hardship.
Sending the guards of the same tribe to broker peace turned out to be a non-starter. Each settlement believed the appearance of strangers to be some form of ruse from the other two tribes and attacked our messengers on sight. Our trial attempt to leave aid packages were buried (earth pony), dropped into a gorge (pegasus), and blown up (unicorn).
In the end, I convinced both Trixie and Twilight that this was beyond our ability to solve. We couldn’t force cooperation onto these ponies and taking over their settlements with our superior military would not only cost lives but just make them feel more justified in their mistrust of other ponies. It was a case of ‘you can’t help somepony that refuses to be helped’.
The Triarchs decided to maintain the portal and relations with the two sisters and hope that the three tribes worked it out themselves or something occurred to force them to work together. That’s why I was so surprised when Hermit Celestia and Luna requested an audience with me a few weeks later.
“Can I help you, ladies?” I asked, only then noticing their daring manestyles and evening dresses. I didn’t have to check the labels to know they were my herdmate’s designs. A whiff informed me that the pair had recently visited Aloe and Lotus. I could smell the floral feather oil that every winged mare I knew would die for.
After a short pause, Luna nudged her sister with enough force to make her stumble. The white alicorn cleared her throat a couple of times before saying, “My sister and I are eternally grateful for all you have done to help us, Prince Wells. We wanted you to know the sincere depth of our appreciation.”
I smiled. “I can’t take full credit. So many ponies in my Equestria have done what they can to help you two – plus my fellow Triarchs and wives.”
Penumbra stood up a bit straighter behind them, her face an unreadable mask. That made me suspicious, and I perked my ears forward. What was I missing?
Celestia blushed and nodded her head before continuing. “Of course, of course. Well, you see... because it is not yet Spring, my sister and I... well...”
Luna rolled her eyes. “What my shy-as-a-baby-breezie sister is trying to say is that we haven’t slept with a stallion in over two centuries. We don’t feel any attraction toward the three tribes and our dalliances with other races have ended poorly. You are the only alicorn stallion in this land, and the two of us want to bed you... for as long as you can withstand it.”
Penumbra’s lips pressed into a thin line and tears leaked from her eyes. She was trying so hard to keep a straight face. The Grandmaster of Pranks hadn’t even needed to do anything beyond the initial quip. She had just let gravity roll her pebble downhill, knocking larger stones loose until two boulders landed in my lap – or tried to. Inwardly, part of me despaired. How in Tartarus could I top this prank?
I returned my attention to the two sisters. I considered their request. Luna was straightforward and that I could deal with. Meet dark fire with equal force until it was quenched.
Her blushing sister, however, was a different story. Celestia rustled her wings and couldn’t meet my eyes. That one I couldn’t predict. I was reminded of Fluttershy when she courted me years ago. I had no inkling at the time about Flutterbat or THE STARE. I shuddered. It was always the quiet ones you had to be careful of.
“I’m sorry, ladies, but I must decline. While as a stallion I have the right to bed any mare, I strongly prefer to share my affections only with my herdmates.”
The two alicorns deflated.
I smirked. “Perhaps you should have scribbled that request in the margins of your list of demands after the fact, just like Luna did with her observatory.”
The dark alicorn jabbed her sister in the side with a forehoof. “I told you to do exactly that! But no! You and your infernal shyness!”
I laughed at their antics. So much like the royal sisters I knew, and yet so different. “I can suggest an alternative if you are interested.” Their pointed stares and pricked ears told me they were. “There is a changeling queen named Ember who recently arrived in Canterlot from another dimension. Her establishment provides satisfaction for clients with... unusual requests.”
“Unusual?” the sisters chorused.
“The more unusual the better.”
Celestia and Luna shared a look and nodded. The white alicorn said, “That would be acceptable.”
“Excellent,” I said as I got to my hooves. “In the meantime, if you two would like to once again exercise the last demand you made upon this Equestria—”
I didn’t get to finish my sentence as the pair kissed me on the cheeks and practically carried me out the door. Luna called out, “Make way! We are off to my counterpart’s club to dance and drink our cares away! This night shall last forever!”
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