//------------------------------//
// Chapter Nine 
// Story: Lasting Memories 
// by Boopy Doopy 
//------------------------------//

“They cooked the fish worse at this place than you did,” Charley complained as he tasted his plate of food. “Does no one know how to cook fish right? It’s not that hard.”
“Maybe you’re just a picky pony, have you considered that?” Thunderlane smiled. “But I guess you have to be when you’re an amazing chef like you are, don’t you?”
“I’m not even picky! I just like having my food cooked correctly, and no one can seem to do it!”
“Well, I’ll eat it for you and get you something else if you want,” Thunderlane offered, only half joking.
“It’s fine, I guess,” Charley grumbled. “I just wish these ponies could get it right.”
The two were sitting in a restaurant close to where they were practicing, one that was filled to the brim with ponies. It annoyed Charley how long it took them to be seated and have their order taken and get their food out to them, but he expected it to be worth it since Thunderlane said this was his favorite place to eat. So far, it wasn’t up to snuff.
“I’d really like to see how you cook a piece of fish if nopony can do it right,” the stallion laughed. “But I guess chefs like you are meant to be picky, since you know better, right?”
“I do know better, but that doesn’t mean I like cooking. Anyway, I guess I’ll just settle.”
The two ate in peace and quiet for a minute before a thought suddenly came to Charley.
“Hey, Thunderlane, I have a question. How old are you?”
“Me? I’m eighteen.”
“Oh god.” Charley immediately stood up worriedly and turned his head away from the pegasus. “I gotta go. I can’t be here.”
“Whoa, I’m just kidding!” Thunderlane laughed. “I’m twenty seven. That was just a joke.”
“Oh fuck, thank you,” Charley sighed in relief, carefully sitting back down. “And don’t scare me like that! That wasn’t a funny joke.” The stallion pouted and crossed his arms.
“It was a little funny, you have to admit,” Thunderlane said with a smile. It only made Charley frown harder and look away shamefully. That had to be emotional manipulation.
“Anyway, how old are you then, Charley?” he asked.
He grumbled and didn’t say anything for a minute before finally answering, “Thirty two.”
“Oh wow, that puts us in the same age range! Not that, uh..” He cleared his throat and looked slightly embarrassed.
“What?”
“N-nothing. We should probably finish our food so we can get back to it. We don’t have a whole day to waste!”
“Wait, no, it’s not nothing,” Charley insisted, looking at him for an explanation. “You’re stuttering and you seem embarrassed, and I want to know what’s going on.”
“It’s really nothing,” Thunderlane said nervously, rubbing a hoof behind his head. It was so unlike him to be nervous like this. What was going on?
“I’ll tell you about it later,” he continued. “I promise.”
“No, tell me now,” Charley demanded. “If you don’t like me, then I want to know. Then I can know that being around you is just a big waste of time. It’s not like you’d be the first one to say you hate me.”
Thunderlane sighed and looked down at the table, trying to think of what to say. Charley looked at him expectantly, wearing a scowl but feeling worried. He didn’t normally care about people who didn’t like him, but right now, he very much did.
“I just– I want to preface what I’m about to say by starting with the fact that I’m not gay,” he said. “I am absolutely not gay, not at all.”
“Okay? So? I know that already, and asked you to stop flirting with me because… you know.”
“Yeah, well,” he started again, taking a breath. “I… kind of like you a little bit, too,” he said, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the table. It was a sentence that sent a wave of happiness coursing through Charley. It was the very last thing he ever expected to hear, and his lips automatically turned up in a smile because of it. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time someone said they liked him. Maybe his ex wife years ago?
“What about me is it that you like?” he had to ask.
“I don’t know! Just… the way you’re trying to act like you don’t like me and how you come off as kind of abrasive and how you try to hide your smile whenever I smile. Like, you’re obviously into me, and it’s… I don’t want to say hot, but that’s probably the best word for it. I like how you try to pretend you’re not into me when you obviously are.”
By the time he finished, Charley had his head on the table, his wings being used to cover his face. Somehow, he didn’t think he was being quite so obvious about how he felt, a ridiculous thought, he knew, since he flat out tried to kiss him before. He wanted to fall out of his chair and die of shame.
He peeked between his feathers to see Thunderlane looking back up at him, trying to portray confidence. 
“I’ve never liked one stallion,” he said kind of shyly. “Not one. And when I went and asked you to have drinks with me, it wasn’t because I liked you like that, because I’m not gay. I swear I’m not. But like, this is messing with my head because I do like you and you act kind of like a mare and it’s all just weird!” He ruffled his feathers as he finished, seeming flustered to Charley. Not that he could blame him.
“I really wasn’t trying to take you out like that, I promise,” Thunderlane tried to assure him. “But this has just been messing with my head for a little while, more and more the longer I’m around you.”
“How– how do I act like a mare?” Charley asked, exasperated. “Why does everypony say that? How in the world do I act like one?” His cheeks were bright red, and he could almost feel the direction this conversation was going.
“It’s just the way you flap your wings and kind of how you walk and the way you kind of giggle when you laugh and how you tilt your head when you’re confused. You just act like a mare, and it’s throwing me off.”
Was it really that obvious? The fact made Charley’s ears flatten, even more embarrassed now than he was before, even more so because it wasn’t something he could help. He knew exactly the reason why.
“Sorry. I know you don’t want to hear that, but I want to be honest. That’s just how I feel.”
Charley wanted to say something, but instead, kept his eyes on the table and his food. Was this just something that everyone always thought? It couldn’t have been that obvious. 
“Can I ask why that upsets you? A lot of stallions act super feminine. Except I guess that it’s not even the case with you. You don’t really act feminine. You just act like a mare.”
He wished he could just die instead of have this conversation. He might as well say it though, since everyone clearly already knew. 
“I– ugh,” he grumbled, his face still bright red, not bearing to look at the stallion. “I guess I’m just… acting like what I am.” If he could just flop down dead right there, he would have, he was so embarrassed.  
“Huh? What?”
“Ugh. Do I really have to say it? You basically spelled it out yourself.”
“I don’t understand what– wait, are you saying you’re a trans mare?” The response Thunderlane got was a grumble and a ruffle of Charley’s wings, who looked away angrily.
“Oh, phew!” Thunderlane wiped his forehead with a hoof as he smiled again, visibly relaxing. “That’s a relief. I was really thinking I might have to question my entire identity because of you, but it turns out you're just a mare.” He let out a relieved breath as he asked, “Did you want me to call you a mare?”
“God, no,” Charley said quickly, rolling his eyes. “I don’t look like a mare, so I don’t want to be called one.” It shouldn’t have made him so happy to hear himself called ‘just a mare’, to hear Thunderlane sigh in relief because of that fact.
“Really? Why not? You already act like one, anyway.”
“I don’t want to talk about this…” he sighed, very much wanting to roll over and die of embarrassment. 
“So wait: why didn’t you say before you were a trans mare? I mean, I understand why, and you kind of said it when you said you were not gay, but why not say something to begin with if you liked me?”
“Thunderlane,” he said again flatly, finally looking up into his eyes again. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Sorry. I’ll stop now.” There was a long moment of awkward silence before he asked, “Wanna get back to flying now?”
“Yes. Please. Thank you.”
The two left the restaurant with that, Charley feeling extremely weird and self conscious because of that whole conversation. And kind of happy, too, because Thunderlane said he liked him. And then seemed like he liked him more when he admitted to being a girl, and was ready to start calling him a mare. It was a thought that made him want to melt into a puddle, and made things significantly more complicated for when he had to leave in a few days.
“So now we’re going to work on kicking off,” Thunderlane started once the two of them got back to the spot they were training at. “Stand behind me and watch what I do with my hooves. It’s easier to demonstrate than it is to describe.”
Charley followed his instructions, trying his best to not stare at the stallion’s flank as he watched his hooves. He looked like he was kind of rearing up before kicking off the ground, not having any trouble at all getting into the air.
“Don’t start flapping your wings until after you kick off, okay?” he said. “If you need to, try and get a running start. That should help you. Okay, now try it!”
Charley gathered himself and tried to do what he said, taking a running start and kicking off of the ground. He only managed to faceplant into the clouds, luckily not hurting himself with as soft as they were. Thunderlane encouraged him on, but a few more tries only had him succeeding in doing largely the same thing.
“You can do it, Charley!” he assured him. “You got this!”
“Is there another way to do this?” he asked. “Or is this the only way?”
“I’m sure mares do it differently, but I wouldn’t think that would affect anything… actually, I wonder if Rainbow Dash is around here. I’m sure she could help us out. Or maybe the mail mare, even! You have to apologize to her anyway, and I’m sure she’d help you with kicking off the ground.”
“I didn’t mean specifically like a mare,” he blushed. “Just, like, another way. I just wanna be able to get this down.”
“Well, if you’re a mare and you already fly like one, then kicking off like one is sure to help, right?”
His ears flattened against his head again. He wanted to rebuff his logic, but couldn’t think of a way how. He was getting way too flustered to be able to refute his assertion. Unlike Pinkie Pie, where being called a mare just made him upset and angry, right now it was making his heart melt inside his body, his brain desperately trying not to enjoy the thought of Thunderlane seeing him that way.
How could he not though? Especially with that golden smile he flashed his way right now. It still made him smile automatically, except more bashful now that he knew the stallion liked him. It was partly embarrassing and partly heart warming that Thunderlane immediately relaxed when Charley admitted he was trans.
God, this is going to be so hard to break out of, he thought shamefully as he followed Thunderlane down to Ponyville, barely getting his footing when he set his hooves on the ground. It’s going to be impossible. This was what I was supposed to be avoiding! And now he’s gone and said he likes me back. Maybe there’s a way I can try and temper how much he likes me?
As if watching him, the second he set his hooves down, he was knocked down to his back, forced to stare up at a familiar sight.
“I swear to God, I’m going to fucking scream at you,” he said flatly, somehow keeping his cool. “Do you knock me down on purpose?”
“Sorry, Mr. Charley… err, I mean, Charley,” she apologized. “You just looked like somepony else I was going to deliver mail to, and I got confused.”
“That’s okay,” Thunderlane smiled, speaking up before Charley could say anything. “We were actually looking for you anyway. We were wondering if you could help us with kicking off the ground? Charley needs help with getting herself into the air.”
He hid his face in his wings and did everything he could not to scream. Why did Thunderlane do that? He specifically told him not to do that after he asked. He once again wanted to roll over and die of embarrassment, doing everything in his power to not smile as he felt an incredibly strong wave of euphoria work over him.
“I told you not to do that,” he said, his words coming out in nothing more than a whisper, much too flustered and embarrassed to speak louder. “This has to be some sort of emotional manipulation. I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Sorry. I guess I just slipped up.” With as cheekily as he said it, he had a hard time believing that Thunderlane just ‘slipped up’.
“How could you mess up? I just told you! You went out of your way to do that on purpose!”
“I really didn’t, but I’ll make sure to not do that anymore, okay?”
“Good, but, like, don’t stop now with her, okay? It’s gonna look weird if you do. But don’t do it with anyone else, got it?”
“Okay,” the stallion smiled. “I got it. I won’t.”
“Thunderlane, I’m being serious. Don’t fucking run your mouth and out me like that." Charley sent a glare his way, wanting the pegasus to know how serious he was.
“Okay. I won’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Then he turned to the mail mare and said, “Anyway, do you think you can help us with lifting off the ground?”
She tried her best, explaining that she mostly just hopped of the ground, getting Charley to copy her moves. It still felt just as impossible to do as before, but after several long minutes of effort, he was finally able to get himself into the air. He did it a few more times to make sure he was able to consistently, and then looked down at a smiling Thunderlane who nodded his head in proud approval. Charley was actually flying, all on his own, just like the stallion said he would be. He really was something else.
“That was all we needed,” Thunderlane said once they were satisfied. “Thank you, Muffins. Oh, one more thing. Charley has something she wants to say to you.”
“I do?” he asked, slightly confused and automatically blushing at the word he heard. He was definitely still trying to manipulate him, into what, he didn’t know. There were other ways to phrase that sentence that wouldn’t have made him feel so euphoric and happy.
“Yes. You were going to apologize, remember? For cursing at her?”
“Oh yeah. Sorry, I guess,” he said pathetically, not really caring.
“Charley, you can do better than that,” Thunderlane told him, almost like a stern parent. “Try again.”
“Ugh, whatever. I’m sorry for cursing at you.” He badly wanted to include the fact that it was her fault for bumping into him and smacking him to the ground so many times, but left that part out. The stallion would just make him do it again.
“It’s okay. I know you’re just upset and angry. I didn’t mean to hurt you when I bumped into you. But maybe we can be friends now! That sounds like a great idea!”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” He guessed this meant he had two friends now, so Death would be doubly happy when he saw him in a few days. Two friends also meant that he could detach himself from the stallion next to him.
“Can we go now?” he asked. “I’ll apologize to Pinkie later.”
“Nope, we’re getting it out of the way now, since you can fly.”
The two walked along with that, quickly finding the pink pony at Sugarcube Corner and going through the same spiel with her, down to Thunderlane saying Charley could apologize better.
“Aw, that’s so nice of you, Charley!” Pinkie Pie said. “I was hoping you’d apologize, even though I know you really didn’t mean it when you said those things before and were just being a grumpy pants like you always are! Oh hey! Since you’re here, you should super duper try a new food I’m making! Cupcakes and hot sauce with sliced pickles on top! I call it hot pickle cakes, and they’re super good!”
“That sounds absolutely disgusting,” Charley said irritatedly, still thinking about how he was upset with Thunderlane for what he did. “I can’t imagine anyone who would like that.”
“Well, it doesn’t sound good, but Pinkie Pie is one of the best bakers in Ponyville. I’d normally at least try something of hers, even if it sounds super gross.”
“You’re disgusting, too,” he said firmly, “although some sliced pickles sound good. But no, we won’t be eating that, thank you.”
“I actually invented a super yummy sandwich with pickles once! It’s called peanut butter and pickle sandwich! Lots of ponies like them now after I showed them how good they are!”
“That’s not a new thing. I’ve been doing that since my parents were kids. Anyway, no, I’m not gonna try cupcakes with hot sauce. That’s just nasty.”
“Maybe some other time, Pinkie,” Thunderlane chuckled lightly, “when Charley is in a better mood.”
“Suit yourself!” With that, she hopped off like a rabbit, to where, they didn’t know.
“Okay, we got that out of the way. Can we go now please?”
“Sure. And this time, you should be able to fly yourself up there, at least part of the way anyway. We can find clouds to rest on if you get tired.”
“Yeah… before that though, I need to say something.” He looked a breath and blinked before turning to Thunderlane with a serious expression, telling him, “Don’t out me like that again. I intentionally kept it a secret up to this point, and I’d like it to remain a secret. Don’t go telling other ponies what I told you.”
“Huh? Oh, is this about what I said to Muffins? I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand why not. Nopony is going to care, and if they give you a hard time, I’ll give them a hard time.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “Plus, you looked absolutely adorable and happy when you blushed like that.”
“I– I don’t care how I look,” he shot back, trying not to be too flustered by this as he stomped a hoof. “I don’t want you to say it. Just don’t do it. And before you ask, no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m sorry.” He hung his head low, seeming like he genuinely felt bad about it. His ears were flattened against his skull and his wings were pressed into his side, almost in shame. Good. This was pushing Thunderlane away a little bit, which was something Charley wanted. This would help with the inevitable once the week was up.
If only Charley’s own ears didn’t lower because of the look on Thunderlane’s face. It was one that made Charley feel bad for telling him off, something that was a weird experience. Was this look because Thunderlane liked him, or just because he felt bad about saying things in front of other ponies against Charley’s wishes?
“Come on, wipe that sad look off your face,” Charley tried to tell him. “All you have to do is not do it again. It wasn’t that bad, anyway. You should be smiling like you always do.” He was not going to be saying that he liked hearing it.
“Smiling? Oh, you mean like this?” The stallion’s frown suddenly lifted, and he sent Charley’s way his trademark smile, making sure to look directly into his eyes as he did. Charley was certain that Thunderlane could commit murder and those absolutely beautiful eyes and that charming smile could help him get away with it. 
"I- I– you– you c-can’t just– god damn you!” He covered face with a wing again, trying to hide how bright red his cheeks were. “I didn’t mean like that,” he said quickly as his heart fluttered happily.
“Oh? You didn’t? Because you certainly made it seem like that.” The stallion moved up to him and wrapped a wing around him. Charley made sure to lean in so he could receive all the support he could get, closing his eyes as he did. He tried not to make it obvious how heavy he was breathing, wanting to catch the stallion’s scent. He shouldn’t have been doing this, but he couldn’t help it. He was so conflicted.
“Hey, since you’re a mare–”
“Thunderlane, please. Don’t ruin this moment. I don’t want to talk about that.”
“It’s not that. I was just wondering, since you’re a mare, and we both already like each other, what if we went out?”
That was the very last thing he ever expected to hear, so surprising that he practically jumped at the news. It was almost like he was asking to marry Charley. His instinct was to scream “Yes!”. However, he held himself back from doing so.
“I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of days, but there’s no reason we can’t. I mean, you already stay in my house, and I don’t do shows with the Wonderbolts that often. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but I still think it’d be nice to try something.”
“I… no…” he sighed, “I’m already getting myself tied up in all of this. I don’t want to be tied up more.”
“Tied up more? I guess it’s just because I’m too nice and amazing, isn’t it?”
And handsome as hell. He didn’t even have to think it. He was staring right at him, taking in his physique. At least, he was until Thunderlane caught on and struck a pose for him.
I shouldn’t be doing this… God, what the hell’s gotten into me? No one has ever gotten me to act like this before!
“I- I mean– you barely know me! Just yesterday you were telling me about how you didn’t like stallions, and now this? Did you hit your head on a rock or something?”
“Well, you were the one who tried to kiss me first yesterday,” Thunderlane giving a little smile. “Plus, you’re a mare.”
“Dkjlkefdem! Don’t say that!” He hated how big his smile was at Thunderlane’s words, and wished he could put it down. It felt like cheating just to get him to feel happy.
“I wouldn’t say that, but seeing how shy and blushy you get when I do is absolutely adorable.”
“No! For real! Don’t!” Charley turned away and kept his wings firmly pressed at his sides. “That’s, like, emotional manipulation, especially since I don’t normally act like this. That’s how I know you're emotionally manipulating me.”
“If I’m emotionally manipulating you, then it’s into being happy, and I’m gonna keep doing it.”
“No! Just don’t… I’m leaving in a few days anyway, so it’s not like we can be together, even if I wanted to.” Yeah. If. As if he didn’t want to. 
“You keep saying that, but where are you going? I could come with you if you want. Well, maybe. I’d have to talk to Spitfire first, but probably, and my parents so they could pick up my little brother again. But we could make it work.”
“It’s not gonna work, just trust me,” he said. “And before you ask: no, I don’t want to talk about that, either. Just know that isn’t not a place you’ll be following me to.”
“Mmm. Okay,” Thunderlane said, seeming like he was thinking it over. “Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.” 
“Y-you’re not making me uncomfortable, it’s just…” He had no idea how to say what he wanted to say. He’d never been in this position before, and was at a crossroads he didn’t want to be at.
“It’s okay, Charley,” the stallion told him kindly. “You don’t have to say anything. We can just be friends while I carry you around and you wrap your hooves around me and burrow your muzzle into my neck to smell me.”
“I wasn’t doing that!” Charley lied, trying to sound angry by the assertion.
“You absolutely were, and it was cute,” Thunderlane laughed. “But we can just be friends if you wanna be. It’s okay.”
“Yes. Please. Thank you. That sounds good. Now can we please get back to flying?”
“Sure,” he smiled kindly.