The first memory I really remember is my mother.
It is still a very blurred memory, as if it was hard to remember many of the details, but I still remember a few snippets. I was still a very young colt, and my mother was showing me around her business for the first time. I recall the production being amped up due to a war. My father was away fighting on the frontlines at the time, so there was no one to keep an eye on me at the time (I was always welcome at the Starscout residence, but my mother was very iffy to let Argyle watch over me). I remember being overwhelmed at the sight of all these new machines I’ve never seen before. I believe I got a little curious at some of the weaponry. I was around 4 or 5 at the time, so I was naive about the war and our efforts, and I asked about what it was. It was at this point that my mother’s face slowly turned into less of a smile and into more of a serious expression. That was when I first remembered her words.
“Sugarcube. There is something you need to know.”
Of course, I was really confused at the time. I mean, at that age, what would you expect? A cannon full of confetti? Anyways, she took me down a few hallways and we finally stopped in front of a poster. I’ve seen those posters around the city many times, but I thought they were just movie posters or some artwork. I couldn’t really read at the time, and I didn’t really develop a personality at this point in time. I was always more of a follower. Maybe that is how my mother easily dug her way into me.
“You see these?” she asked.
I stared blankly at the image.
“These ponies are not like us. If you notice, one of them has wings, and the other has a horn.” She then stated.
“Wait. There are flying ponies?” I asked in excitement.
“Well, yes. But they aren’t friendly. If you were to come across one, try to get to a safe place. They want to hurt you.” My mother said in a serious tone.
That is when fear took hold of me for the first time.
“Wh..Wha…Wha?” I couldn’t speak afterwards.
My best guess is that I used to spend a lot of time with the Starscout family before this, but as I said, faulty memory. My mother then tried to get into more detail about the war, but of course, my 5-year old brain just didn’t want to listen to details. I think my mother finally took notice in my lack of attention after a minute or two, and my memory kicks back in again.
“Listen, just… If you’re going to go skating on the thin ice, then don’t be surprised if it breaks beneath you. Just don’t go off on your own, and don’t take risks. If you do, the cracks in the ice may form.” She told me.
She then took me back to the main part of the building, and allowed me to go look at the machinery again. However, right as she was about to let me go look around again, the Sheriff showed up. From what I remember, he sounded pretty distressed. That is when he approached my mother.
“Phyllis. Mrs. Cloverleaf. I need to speak to you.” he said.
“What is it?” she quickly responded.
“It’s your husband. He.. well… you may want to sit down.”
It was that day that the first “brick” in my wall of hate and isolation was constructed.