//------------------------------// // Vignette Twenty - Apple-Con // Story: Quiververse Bonus Reel // by EchoWing //------------------------------// Granny Smith was not in a chipper mood. She felt that she’d earned that right, given how long she’d lived, but the situation that she was about to find herself in did little to discourage her as she and most of her immediate family found themselves cresting the final hill to Apple Con. She and the Apple Family had been attending the convention since the early days, which were ones she remembered fondly. Much like her family, the convention had started with humble roots as a means to gather with other apple farmers and merchants, discuss new trends, drum up additional business for the farm and pad the rainy-day fund. As time had passed, however, the convention had expanded to include other fruit-growers. Granny had begrudgingly come to tolerate the orange, pineapple and peach merchants, as some of them were kin, and the berry growers, but certain individuals still stuck in her craw. Certain individuals from the Pear family, to be specific. Regardless, by her reckoning, the convention was now far too crowded and miserable and ridiculous for her liking. Making things worse was that Applejack had been unable to come with them to assist with the convention’s business. Fortunately, however, the Apple family had branches all across Equestria, with plenty of help available when needed. “Granny Smith!” Waiting for them at their booth with an enthusiastic smile was Caramel Apple. “How was the trip out?” Granny restrained herself from grumbling. “Harder’n Ah’d like, darlin’, but Ah got plenty energy left in me fer the show.” She cast her eyes over the booth and smiled. “Looks like you got all the prep work started. Good goin’.” That prompted a smile from the green-eyed mare as she rushed to assist her cousins in getting their wares in place. “Think Ah can go an’ get one of them fancy manual apple peelers once we’re all set up?” Apple Bloom eagerly asked. Granny Smith glanced in the direction of the booth and frowned. “You can try, darlin’. That there’s a mighty long line.” Big McIntosh winced at the sight. “Yep.” The little filly grimaced. “Well, nothin’ ventured an’ all that, Ah guess. What about you, Granny?” The elderly mare waved a dismissive hoof. “Ah’m too old to be standin’ in line. Ah’m gonna roam the convention, see what fibs the competition’s gettin’ up to. Big Mac ‘n Caramel Apple can hold down the fort easy enough without me.” - Granny suddenly wished that she’d stayed at the booth given the slogans put out by the competition. “Never find worms in an orange mah right hind leg,” she scowled and grumbled as she continued along, “Gonna have’ta give somepony a talkin’ to. Dang Pears probably have worse…” “Get your handy, dandy, super-speedy, no-mess Apple Peelcore 8000 here!” That stopped Granny dead in her tracks. While the voice was familiar, it lacked the enthusiasm that she’d heard from it before. Nonetheless, she recognized the shyster that it had belonged to. “You!” “Oh. Hello, Granny Smith.” Flim immediately ceased his sales pitch and bowed his head to speak with her from atop his stand. “What brings you out here?” “You know full well what’s brought me out here! Ah should be askin’ you that question, along with that no-good brother a’ yours!” Granny looked about for Flim’s mustachioed sibling. “Where in the sam hill is he, anyway?” “Flam?” That seemed to put the skinny stallion into even more of a dour mood. “You won’t be seeing him around this booth.” Granny snorted. “Tryin’ to con folks from two different locations, huh?” The stallion briefly looked as though he wanted to protest, but seemed to lose the nerve as he held up the product he was trying to sell. “I assure you, Granny, this is a perfectly legitimate product.” Granny examined the device, and couldn’t find anything wrong with it at first blush. Nonetheless, she snorted – first blushes could be wrong, after all. “So yah say.” The old mare fumed to herself as she moved away from Flim’s booth. A stubborn streak was part of the Apple Family DNA, and only got stronger with age. The chances of her forgetting the last time that she’d crossed paths with the Flim Flam Brothers, when they’d attempted to swindle her family farm out from under her, were far closer to ‘none’ than they were to ‘slim’. Even if that fancy contraption of theirs had actually made decent cider, it didn’t change what they had done. And she wasn’t about to hear any arguments about how her family had cheated in that contest either – those two swindlers hadn’t complained when it happened, so they didn’t have the right to complain now. “Do I have any takers for the handy, dandy, super-speedy, no mess Apple Peelcore 8000?!” “Ah knew it!” No way those two weren’t traveling together. Granny approached a near-identical booth to the first to find Flam hawking the exact same product as his sibling. “Ah knew Ah’d find you ‘round here somewhere!” The mustachioed stallion locked eyes with her in surprise. “Granny Smith? Oh, what a surprise.” “Wish Ah could say the same! Now what’s up with you an’ yer brother at separate booths?!” Flam looked further surprised, and a little saddened. “Flim’s here? I wasn’t aware – we haven’t seen one another in weeks.” Granny snorted. “Likely story.” She turned away and gestured with one hoof. “Ah got my eye on you! The both ‘a you!” - “Okay, Granny, I know I wasn’t there when everything went down with them, but… were they really running a scam that day?” Caramel Apple soon found herself regretting her words as her grandmother rounded on her. “A’course they wuz runnin’ a scam! Those two varmints done nearly cut out the heart a’ the Apple Family with that no-good doohickey a’ theirs an’ took Sweet Apple Acres away from us!” To her credit, however, the mare tried to hold her ground. “But scams don’t really work that way. Con artists don’t provide an actual product – they tend to trick others to get something using something that they don’t actually have. And they did have an actual machine, that actually did make cider.” Granny glared at her granddaughter. “What’d’you know about scams an’ con artists?!” The younger mare shrugged. “I watch a lot of movies.” That prompted a snort. “Movies ain’t nearly as accurate as them film-folks say they are. An’ besides, the cider they made weren’t half as good as what we make!” “I’m not saying that it was! I can’t judge it’s quality! I didn’t drink any of it!” “Well Ah did, an…!” Granny Smith scowled as she realized, “It weren’t half bad. Not that first batch, anywho.” She then shook her head and regained the initiative. “But that don’t change the fact that they done nearly took the farm away from us with that contest! They wuz all set to tear down the farmhouse!” “Where in the contest did it say that they’d take Sweet Apple Acres?” “Well maybe not right that second, but…!” Granny fumed at her grandchild’s logic. Yes, the farm had suffered a few financial issues in recent years – funeral costs for Bright Mac and Buttercup hadn’t helped them, and her own medical expenses had taken a toll – but it would have taken some time for their fortunes to be impacted, and they could have found a way to pull together. Plus, as much as they’d been goaded into the contest, the Apples could’ve still refused it…or at least considered a more equitable agreement. The old mare grunted. None of that changed the fact that those two were shysters and sidewinders with no respect for others’ property. And when they’d won the contest, the pair had laughed at them, confident that they would have a claim to the farm. But did being jerks justify her actions? And none of that bravado was on display. Granny rubbed her chin. “The two of ‘em do seem kinda down. Awful hard to run a trick on someone if’n yer not all bright ‘n friendly-like.” She then spied Flim slowly making his way off convention grounds. “Still, no takin’ chances.” Caramel Apple slumped and let her go. The mare then bowed her head. “She’s mad at me.” Big Mac gently laid a hoof on her shoulder. “She ain’t mad at ya, cousin. Don’t put too much stock in all this.” The mare sighed with uncertainty as Granny made her way off the convention grounds and followed Flim all the way to a lone apple tree in the distance. “I’d try to dissuade you from further accusations, Granny Smith, but I suspect they’d be of no use. And as for my brother, Flam and I haven’t seen one another, much less spoken, for three weeks now.” “An’ you expect me to believe you?” “Regardless of whether you do or not, it’s the truth.” Granny Smith wasn’t her granddaughter, but she’d been around the bush enough times to know a lie when she heard one. Everything seemed consistent, and if Flim was indeed trying to pull one over on her, he was putting a lot of effort into it. And despite her better judgment, she sat down beside him. “Alright then. Somethin’ had to happen to tear you an’ him apart.” “Not something, Granny. Somemare.” A sad sigh escaped his lips as Flim recounted. “My brother and I arrived in Dodge Junction for a new venture, and it seemed to be business as usual for the two of us until she crossed our path. Beautiful, innocent, and no fool. We were both smitten with her, and worse, the feeling was mutual.” Granny suddenly became a lot more sympathetic. “An’ the two a’ y’all started fightin’ over her.” “To put it politely, yes. Ill words exchanged, some light blows traded, until Marian finally made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with either of us.” He bowed his head as he admitted, “A part of me can’t help but wonder if she ever cared for either of us, or if she’d planned it from the start. Regardless, what’s done is done. Flam and I have parted ways, and I vowed not to speak with him again. If he’s here, then it’s likely coincidence.” “Maybe so, but that’s a mighty strong vow to make. He’s yer brother, yer flesh ‘n blood.” “Even the strongest of ties can be broken, Granny Smith. Take comfort in the fact that your family’s never fractured so badly.” The Apple Family hadn’t fractured in such a way, but Granny knew of other families that had. And if all of this is true… - “I’m afraid what my brother said is the truth, Granny Smith.” Flam was no less morose than his twin as he explained, “And after what transpired between us, I suspect there are only two words left to be spoken regarding us – Never Again.” Granny frowned. She’d been around long enough to know better about words like that, and besides, this was far too familiar. - “Attention! Attention! Will Flim please report to the Pear Pavilion immediately!” “Attention! Attention! Will Flam please report to the Pear Pavilion immediately!” The Pear Pavilion rivaled the Orange Pavilion for grandeur, and served as sufficient distraction for both Flim and Flam to avoid noticing one another until very nearly the last minute. Their dour moods were forgotten as both glared upon one another. Flam snorted and ran a hoof along the floor. “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here, brother of mine!” Flim responded in kind. “You’re a fine one to talk!” “Both a’ y’all, break it up!” Granny pushed the two apart, much to their surprise. “Ah ain’t here to see the two a’ y’all squabble!” Her presence took the two of them by surprise, and their feud was momentarily forgotten. “But why?” “Indeed, Flim raised a good point. I’d think you’d rather us squabbling among ourselves, given the ill feelings you have for the pair of us.” “Oh, don’t get me wrong, Ah ain’t forgotten ‘bout that time you came to Ponyville. But Ah ain’t so petty that Ah wanna see two brothers fightin’ one another. Sides, Ah’ve seen this mess before. Ah’ve caused this mess before.” At their surprised expressions, she grinned. “Believe it or not, fellas, Ah turned quite a few heads when Ah was a young’un. Two belonged to the Jonagold Brothers, a couple stallions who were sweeter’n apple pie. Trouble is, Ah couldn’t choose between the two of ‘em, an’ they started fightin’ and fussin’ fer my affections, an’…well, y’all can probably figure out what happened.” Granny frowned. “Ain’t seen either of ‘em since then. Got married and went on with mah life. Fer all Ah know, those two’re still at each others’ throats because a’ me. Assumin’ they ain’t dead.” She looked between the two of them in turn. “You two’re brothers. Thieves wish that they’re as close as the two’a y’all. You really wanna throw that away over a pretty filly?” The two stallions considered her point in silence before Flim admitted, “She does raise a fair point, brother of mine.” “Oh, you’ll get no argument from me on that point. And forever is a rather long time to be holding onto a grudge, particularly with blood.” Flam snorted. “And perhaps it was too much to ask for the fair Marian to choose between so perfect a pair of stallions as us.” “Oh, too much indeed!” The two siblings embraced one another. “And I won’t deny, my heart was heavy with regret over my actions!” “As heavy as mine over my own, I hope!” The pair laughed with glee at having buried the hatchet, then turned to Granny Smith. “You have our gratitude, Granny Smith!” “Indeed, but still, why help us? This isn’t simply because of some desire to avoid history repeating itself.” Granny smiled. “Well, that ain’t the only reason. Ah’d’ve done it because it was the right thing to do regardless.” She then smirked and admitted, “And if’n it hadn’t worked, at least you’d’ve smashed up some Pear stuff instead’a some Apple stuff.” The smirk faded as she added, “Plus, Ah don’t like seein’ talent go to waste. As bitter as Ah am over what happened when you came to Ponyville, that contraption’a yours made some pretty good cider up until you took the safeties off. If’n you hadn’t been so greedy, an’ Ah hadn’t been so stubborn, we could’a worked out a deal that worked for all’a us. An’ somethin’ tells me that sooner or later, if’n you two keep up yer antics, you might just bite off more’n you can chew.” Flim rolled his eyes. “Well, give us some credit.” “Fella, Ah nearly saw one a’ the richest mares in Ponyville get killed after she pushed one stallion’s buttons a few too many times, and Ah doubt it would’ve even reached trial. Trust me, luck always runs out.” She turned and made her way out. “So keep what Ah said in mind, y’hear?” The siblings nodded and waved as she departed, but Flam waited until she was out of earshot before he admitted, “A terrible shame that we had to abandon the SSCS6K after it broke down, isn’t it brother?” “Indeed it was. Operating something of that sort is easy, brother of mine, but maintaining it is another matter entirely.” Flim turned to his sibling and noted, “Regardless, she does raise a fair point. Faults were made on both sides with our visit to Ponyville, and perhaps we did start off with too high a negotiating price.” “Oh indeed, dear brother, indeed. I can’t help but wonder what we were thinking.” “Well, lessons learned and all of that.” “Indeed, brother of mine, indeed! Now, whose booth will we shut down? I’m perfectly fine with shutting down mine, as yours is more optimally placed…” The brothers laughed as they exited the pavilion, their debate set to carry on for quite a while. Still, once it was done, stock would be moved and the pair would be back to business as usual. Neither noticed another pony emerge from another corner of the pavilion, a pair of sunglasses concealing her eyes as she held up a small radio with one wing. “This is Agent Tango. Agents Flim and Flam located at Apple Con. We are go for FF-9, but reporting deviations. Be advised, surveillance will be necessary. Initiate backup plan for S4E21. Deviations unavoidable. I repeat, deviations unavoidable.” The radio was tucked away, and Tango slipped back into the shadows. Deviations were unavoidable in this case, but they could at least be mitigated. Harmony would be maintained. - Caramel Apple sighed as she prepped further stock at the family booth. Sticking her nose into things had been a bad idea, and now Granny was mad at her and… “Ah’m sorry, darlin’.” Much to her surprise, she turned to find an apologetic Granny Smith approaching the booth. “Shouldn’t’ve yelled at ya like that. Ya raised a lotta good points, an’ Ah wuz bein’ a stubborn old goat. Can ya forgive?” The mare sighed with relief. “Of course. But next time, maybe yell at me over something that I actually deserve?” Granny laughed. “Somethin’ tells me that’ll be a long time in comin’, darlin’. You’re a part’a the Apple family bushel, and we don’t go rotten easy.” Another member of the clan approached the booth with a dour expression. “Finally got outta that line, Apple Bloom?” “Got all the way to the front an’ they ran outta’ them peelers.” The filly fumed as she looked her grandmother in the eye. “You were right, Granny. This place is the pits.” The old mare laughed. “Yer soundin’ like Rainbow Dash durin’ cider season.” “Ah guess.” She held up her consolation prize and explained, “Still, they gave me this as an apology. One of them gizmos the Flim Flam Brothers’re sellin’. I thought about tossin’ it, but Ah kinda wanna see if it works first.” “Eh, do what ya want with it, darlin’. In mah experience, apple peelers an’ apple corers work best as separate devices. Puttin’ ‘em together’s more trouble’n its worth.” Apple Bloom shrugged as she sat down and removed the device from its box. “Well, all technology breaks down eventually, especially if’n its complicated stuff.” She fished out the instructions and quickly glanced over them. “If’n its made smart, though, you can take it apart easy, take out the bad part an’ put a good part in its place. Like puttin’ a new brush on an old broom.” She then took an apple, one not part of the stock but one she’d brought as a snack, and tested out her new acquisition. The device itself looked simple to operate – you put an apple at the end of a long piece of metal and turn a crank. Turning said crank would send the apple inwards, where it would have its skin peeled off while simultaneously cutting out the core. And, indeed, the device worked as promised. “Look at that! It works!” Apple Bloom grinned. “Gonna havta clean it before Ah use it again, but accordin’ to the instructions, that’s easy!” Granny Smith laughed. “Assumin’ ya don’t forget about it, anyway.” Maybe between this and their actions, there actually was hope for those two brothers.