Oh well done Rarity, she thinks as she storms from Applejack’s room, directly down the stairs and out onto the back porch. Foolish, foolish, foolish. Without realizing it she had begun talking aloud to herself, “an absolute mess, you’ve done it now. Just crush her delicate heart a third time for good measure.”
“Ya wanna talk about it?”
The unexpected response to her tirade makes her jump, “good gracious Apple Bloom, you startled me!”
The lithe young woman smirked from her perch on the porch swing, “sorry. What’s all this about AJ’s delicate heart?”
“You- you heard that?”
“Eyup.”
She cringed, “I don’t know if I should really be talking to you about this…”
Apple Bloom snorted, “I’m a grown woman Rarity. I can be objective. Plus, if you don’t get it off your chest you’ll explode and I bet your friends have already told you what they think.”
“… Applejack kissed me.” She took a deep breath, “she kissed me and I slapped her.” She expected a reprimand but none came. Apple Bloom was just staring at her and sucking at her teeth. “…Are you going to say anything?”
Pause. Stare. “Well, why’d ya slap her?”
Rarity spluttered and began pacing across the rough boards of the porch. “Because she kissed me,” she shrieked, “she can’t just- just kiss me like that!”
“Why not?”
“Why not!? Why not!? Because we aren’t together anymore! Because she just broke off an engagement! Because it’s all messy enough without her doing crazy things like kissing her ex!”
“Applejack wears her heart on her sleeve for everyone to see,” she responded calmly, “she loves you, so the ex-thing isn’t really an issue.”
“IT IS SO AN ISSUE!” She paused her pacing long enough to level a scorching glare at the girl, “Applejack does NOT love me anymore. And the very idea that we could just- just pick up where we left off is…”
“Why would you have to pick up where you left? Why couldn’t you, I don’t know, start over?”
That got her attention. Her pacing once again paused and she stared out into the orchard. The trees were mostly bare of apples this late in the summer but it was still green and beautiful. Acres and acres of rolling farmland almost as far as the eye could see. There was a time in their youth when she and her friends spent nearly every night out in this back yard. She remembered Pinkie and Fluttershy’s firefly hunts. Rainbow and AJ had a habit of playing guitar together which almost always became a competition. Sunset and Twilight had their first kiss right here on the porch in the muggy atmosphere of a July night. Her mind wandered momentarily, she thought about what her life might look like now, if she had stayed. Would I be happy?
She shook herself from her stupor, “I don’t think we can do that Apple Bloom. I’ve hurt your sister far more than anyone should hurt another. And she has loved me far better than I deserve.”
“I’m pretty sure that she’s the one who gets to decide whether or not you deserve it. And yeah, you left, but AJ isn’t upset about it. She’s proud of you Rarity. She’s proud of how well you’ve done. She keeps every article we see of you in a scrapbook, you know? If you were ready to come home she’d move you in today.”
“It isn’t that simple, darling.” A single tear slipped down her cheek. “I got pregnant because I cheated on her. I left her. And those are just the big things I did. I’ve been breaking her heart for as long as we’ve known each other.” She took a seat next to Apple Bloom on the porch swing. “Your sister, your family, you’ve suffered a lot in life. Granny lost her husband, then her children-your parents… and AJ, she’s the glue that holds you all together. And I took a son from her. I’m sure she never let it show because that’s not her way, but I could tell that my leaving, and taking Crispin with me crushed her.”
She nodded, “oh, you’re leaving took a piece of her away that’s for sure.” Rarity flinched. “But just cause a heart breaks don’t mean it doesn’t still beat. It doesn't mean it can't heal. And AJ’s got a helluva heart. I think you feel guilty, and because you feel guilty you think you don’t deserve to be happy. Problem is,” she gazed at Rarity seriously, “you’re self-imposed punishment is hurting AJ, and to a lesser extent the rest of us.”
“How am I hurting you?”
She frowned, “isn’t it obvious? Rarity, we love you.” When she opened her mouth to retort Apple Bloom held up a hand to shush her. “Not just AJ, all of us. Everybody around here badgers Sunny and Pinkie and Shy for updates all the time cause you talk to them. We keep up with you as best we can. And did you really think that just because we didn’t make it obvious that we didn’t check up on ya’ll? We kept an eye on you and Crisp from afar, checked the magazines, and searched ya on the internet every now and again. When Sweetie visits we ask her too.”
“I… but, why?”
Apple Bloom snorted, “Once an Apple, always an Apple. No matter where you go or what you do, you’ll always be welcome here Rarity. You are kin to the Apple clan whether you feel it or not. Whether you think you deserve it or not, you are an Apple.”
“I wasn’t there.” She said quietly.
“What?”
Rarity shook her head, “Granny, when she got sick… you all really needed me. Applejack had to skip several classes just to take her to the doctor. And I blew her off for a fashion show.” She said it so bitterly that Apple Bloom actually felt the need to lean away a little. “She was struggling so much and I didn’t even care! All I cared about was impressing Hoity Toity.”
“I…” Apple Bloom blinked at the disgust in Rarity’s voice, “I don’t remember that?”
“Of course not,” she sighed, “she never said anything to anyone else but, we fought about that. She said that a show was not more important than Granny. I should have skipped the show, it was only a small portion of my grade and AJ was stretched so thin as it was… I wasn’t there, not when she really needed it.” A few more tears slipped free and she hung her head. “I was such a child. I threw a fit whenever I didn’t get my way and she was so patient about it. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there. Her grades took a massive hit all because I was too self-absorbed to pay attention.”
“So, you feel guilty?”
“Of course.”
“Then apologize, dumbass.”
“I- well, I never!”
“Seriously,” Applebloom stood and dusted off her jeans. “If you feel bad then apologize. And say you’re sorry for slapping her too. Sure, you might still feel bad but at least that way you get it out there. And AJ will forgive you, heck she already has. I think you’re just afraid.”
“Afraid?” She huffed, “what do I have to be afraid of?”
“In my opinion? You’ve afraid that you’ll drop everything to come home and it won’t work out. You’re afraid of getting hurt, and you’re afraid that it’ll all be for nothin’.”
As the younger girl slipped back into the house Rarity decided that she had quite a lot to think about.