//------------------------------//
// SMILE! You're on camera. 
// Story: The Anti-Friendship Lesson 
// by Ezekiel Namuh 
//------------------------------//

"What's that guy's problem?" Rainbow Dash asked as she, the rest of the main six, and Princess Celestia were walking through Ponyville. "What did we do to him to make him run away?"

"Yes, that's what I want to know, Rainbow Dash," Celestia looked up sternly at the pegasus.

"If Ah'm bein' honest, your majesty, we kind of overreacted." Applejack pulled her hat off, "We had no idea who he was or why he kept tryin' to run from us, so we, uh, tied 'im up and asked him."

SMACK

Celestia rubbed her forehead, "Ugh... Of course."

"Well, we were just so confused as to why he would keep running from us like that, we felt like we had no choice," Rainbow Dash admitted.

"I will say I don't know why he would do that," Celestia pondered, "But that doesn't mean it was right to do that. It was actually a little cliche." She bent down next to Twilight.

"Just because a creature is confusing or flat-out different doesn't mean they should be treated like this. I think we all remember your incident with Zecora a while ago." Twilight nodded. "You're the princess of friendship and the elements of harmony. You should know everypony can be befriended if you treat them the right way, even if they seem otherwise."

"Wait," Rarity butted in. "If he said he lost his memory and couldn't remember his name, then how did he say his name was Ty? I'm sure he would have said if he'd remembered it just that moment."

"Cuz' he lied to us."

Everypony looked shockingly back at Applejack, a flat and unmoving expression on her face. Fluttershy spoke up from the back. "He what?"

Applejack turned back. "He's been lyin' to us the whole time. I could tell, he knows more than he wants us to."

"Well, that would explain the knowledge of old and previously unknown elements," Twilight wondered.

"And the magical surge in the Everfree a few days ago," Celestia added without acknowledging, you know, more elements. 

"There was a what!?" Pinkie shot over and asked her.

Celestia responded, "Four days ago, a large burst of energy occurred just a short distance away from Sweet Apple Acres in that forest. Still, nopony knows what caused it. I've looked into it, and my best guess is Di-"

"I know what caused it!" Pinkie interrupted her by shouting, making the others look at her expectantly. "Grapes!"

"Grapes." Twilight looked unimpressed.

"Of course! He had weird purple marks in his eyes, right? And there's nothing purple shaped like that other than my sliced grapes."

"You eat grapes in slices?" Rarity (Among others) looked confused.

"Uh, yeah. Who doesn't?"

"...Okay... Well, on a related note, I'm looking forward to hear a more detailed and complete version of your story," Celestia said as they walked into the Golden Oaks library, in a tone that was sure to drastically change.





This was mostly the same place that Ty had remembered. After all, he fell off the cliff here. But "mostly" was included for a reason, being a new edge that jutted out to the left of the river. This confused him, but he quickly passed it off.

"Eh, wouldn't be the first time backgrounds changed..." he also started to consider a bigger meaning behind this. "But when things do change, it's always for a reason. Sure, that reason could always be 'We wanted it to look nicer', but this seems more... functional," he wondered aloud. His suspicions were quickly starting to confirm as the bushes behind him rustled.

He turned around, hoof between his eyes in dissatisfaction. "Holy crud. Do you fillies really need to hear this again? I'm not a changeling, I don't know where it is, and you need to leave me alone!" Oddly enough, the sound of shaking leaves intensified. The lack of a response unnerving him, he slowly crept forward.

I can barely see something moving, just slightly a different shade of green than the bush. Since I don't know what it is or if I even want to know, so the best thing to do is get away from-

Ty's line of thought was cut short as a familiar mare shot out of the bush, tackling him back onto the outcropping.

Great, Lyra. Guess I found the purpose of the mystery rock.

"Found it!" She called over her shoulder. Ty said nothing, less out of defiance and more because she knocked the wind out of him. Getting worried, he tried to push her off. That unsurprisingly failed to get the pony off him as she stared down at him with her massive eyes in confusion. So he did the most reasonable thing he could think of.

"What are y-AGH!" Lyra recoiled off of Ty as he poked her in the eye. He rolled over onto his side, breathing deeply through his mouth in an attempt to make the effects subside.

"*Cough* Okay, sorry about that. But you did land on me and I didn't *Cough* couldn't think of a different way to get you off," he said before muttering to himself, "Of course the audience was probably screaming 'Just use your magic!' Cut me some slack, it was an impulsive decision."

Lyra was going to answer before Bon Bon walked out of the bush to Ty's right.

"Oh, great. You're here, too. Let me guess. You think I'm the changeling the CMC was looking for?"

"Uh... Yes?" Lyra shrugged.

"Ugh... Terrific. Typical misunderstanding conflict. You know what? I'm not doing this."

"What? What is that supposed to mean?" Bon Bon said, shoving herself in his path. She hadn't expected this, and still wasn't entirely sure this wasn't the changeling.

Ty had an exhausted look in his eyes as he regarded the mare in front of him. "You listening?" Lyra nodded while Bon Bon kept watching questioningly. "Okay. Grass grows, sun shines, birds fly, and me? I go alone. I'm a pone wolf... please forget I ever said that. That's the way I've always worked, and the... experiences I've had only enforced that."

"Experiences?" Bon Bon was getting more confused. Ty could tell, and he wasn't having it. He replied as anger slowly managed to build in his tone.

"Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time. And in case you haven't gotten the message yet, which of course you haven't, look at who I've been surrounded by for the past few days, I'll put it more bluntly this time. I'm not a changeling. And if you still think so, you're crazy. I'm just a random pony you shouldn't care about, and I'm tired of ponies saying that I'm wrong."

Lyra and Bon Bon just looked at each other. Bon Bon specifically still didn't fully trust him, and this was an extremely weird way for a pony to be acting. Of course, we know the reasoning behind that.

"I'm taking my leave now, should I need to ask permission?" He snarled. Bon Bon mulled Ty's question over before walking over to Lyra and whispering something in her ear. Ty just looked on skeptically as Lyra's horn started to glow. A wave of golden light shot over Ty's mane down to his hind legs.

Just as fast as the magic started, it stopped. Lyra snapped back and held her horn in her hooves.

Bon Bon dashed forward to see what was wrong. Ty only got off the outcrop. He was concerned why Lyra was on the ground now, the spell couldn't have done anything since he wasn't a changeling. Then again, he wasn't a pony either.

Or maybe that was the whole point.

Lyra still sat rocking on the ground like a baby, though she was getting better. Ty backed towards the forest in fear he'd indirectly injured her.

His focus quickly shifted to the steaming confectioner stalking towards him.

Ty crouched to the ground awkwardly with legs that seemed like they'd collapse any second, forcing himself to look up at her. "Hey, look I didn't know what-"

Bon Bon cut him off with a growl. "You are going to stop blabbering about your stupid excuses."

"I-"

"Because of you my friend is writhing in pain on the ground over there!"

"If you-" Ty's face turned from fear to desperation.

"And what do you have to say for yourself, you stupid changeling!?" With that one word from Bon Bon, Ty's feelings immediately changed.

"You're going to be lucky if SMILE just decides to kick you back to the wastelands you came from! Some of our agents would gladly dissect you for intel. And if the honour of thanking you for attacking Lyra is granted to me, I swear to Celestia I am going to-"

"You what!?"

Ty roared in anger at the agent that was just staring daggers at him. His formerly human body wretched toward the sky as he pulled his forelegs off the ground, flexing them in hatred. The only thing left touching the ground were his hind legs, placing him upright and at double Bon Bon's height. He abruptly began shambling toward her as she backed up.

"You're saying you want to attack me because 'strange' things just 'happen' when I'm around? You wish me dead for reasons that I can't control?" Ty pointed an accusatory hoof at her and made all manner of manic movements. Bon Bon backed onto the outcropping in nervousness. Ty's shaking pupil's glanced downward at the steep ledge.

"You want answers? Then let me BUCKING talk!"

Bon Bon's hind legs started scraping off the end of the cliff. She only tried reason now. "C-Calm down, now. Why don't you just forget about all this a-and extend a hoof in friendship?" Ty snapped.

"This. Isn't. Friendship!"

Ty extended a hoof directly into Bon Bon's eye. She leaned back to grab at her head, sending her careening over the edge.

"JUST TUCK YOUR KNEES, YOU'LL BE FINE!" Ty shouted down at his former aggressor before she splashed into a curve in the river.

Ty stalked over to where the outcrop connected to solid ground, his frowning muzzle clenched together. That tends to happen when you're mad. You also tend to not watch where you're going. That little flaw was responsible for Ty tripping over someone for the second time since he got here.

He quickly pushed himself back off the ground, dusting off his chest after it made contact with the ground. He looked down at the mint mare who stared back up at him, while a grin spread across Lyra's face. Now normally, this would just confuse Ty. But as his vision drifted further down to his hind legs, then back up to the face of Lyra. 'The pony known in the fandom for one thing.'

Shock ran through Ty's spine as he made a beeline for the forest, attempting to run just as he was used to in a stumbling and scrambling frenzy. All in all, he was doing pretty well.

"Wait!"

A gold aura grabbed at the Ty's mane, pulling him down and onto his back. He stared up at the mare above him, half fearful and half angry. "Please don't get me thrown in a padded cell!" Mostly fearful. I don't know, the rapid flailing of his hooves and the rapid breathing kinda' makes him look like he's in a panic.

Lyra gently motioned with her hooves, trying to get him to stop cowering. "Hey! Hey. Shh. Calm down. I'm not going to get you arrested."

She gave him time to try and stand back up. This time on all fours again, each one shaking faster than an excited Pinkie. "What, really?"

"Of course not," Lyra said in a calming voice, though there was some curiosity in it. "Why would I do that?"

Ty looked at her dumbfoundedly. "Um... Did you not see me knock your friend off a waterfall? I somehow reversed your spell back on you? I did..." Ty stood back up on two legs for a moment, before collapsing back down to the more "natural" position. "That? Aren't you mad about any of that?"

Lyra responded, "I saw your face when the spell backfired, I'm fairly sure you didn't even know what you did. I'm not entirely sure why that happened, on a regular pony that shouldn't have done anything, but I'm no alicorn. My magic is a bit out of practice."

'If it supposedly does nothing to regular ponies, then I think I know why the spell backfired on her.' Ty still looked confused. "And what about her?" he asked while gesturing to the nearby waterfall. He shivered slightly and his pupils shrunk, his mind was still feverish. "Is this what murder feels like? Am I a murderer now?"

"What!?" Lyra looked shocked. "There's almost nowhere in Equestria high enough for a pony to fall and die from. That waterfall running through the Hush River is only around 50 feet tall."

Ty just stared at her while her words sunk in.

He slowly made his way over to the treeline.

He turned around, facing in the exact opposite direction.

THUMP

'Idiot.'

THUMP

'Moron.'

THUMP

'Stupid. Don't you ever pay attention to cartoon physics? I knew she wouldn't be injured that badly at least.' Ty finished bashing his head into a tree and approached Lyra again.

"I apologize for that, I've only recently ended up in the Everfree. I don't know what this place tends to entail. Is your friend still conscious at least?"

Lyra beckoned him towards the waterfall, as she was already peering down the cliffside. Her hoof had been raised and then waved side to side. Ty lowered his head beneath the grass's edge and spotted the cream colored mare waving back to Lyra. Said anthropology-related mare was just about to speak to Ty before being interrupted.

"Lyra! Stop conversing with the enemy!" The mare's shout elicited a scowl from Ty's snout, but Lyra seemed used to it.

"You see miss? She's just fine!" Lyra reassured him. Ty took notice to her getting his gender wrong, but he couldn't blame her. He'd essentially retired from correcting unaware ponies about it.

Ty would surely get used to it and he had already stopped caring too much. The exact opposite was true right after, as Lyra gave him a friendly slap on the back.

"OW!"

"Yeah! Get him, Lyra!"

"Shut it, Bon Bon!" Lyra bent down to check on Ty. "Don't worry about her. We'll be friends until the end of everything, but Bon Bon has always been a bit bullheaded."

"That's one way to put it," Ty retorted, his back still arched in pain. He had been knocked down from the impact and currently laid on his side. "She's one to talk, demanding I give her my life story before telling you to stop talking to me. Is she just a glory hog or what?"

Lyra pulled Ty back to his hooves (specifically and surprisingly, his hind hooves) before giving him her answer. "Nah, just competitive and a little short-sighted. But are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, it isn't terminal. Probably." Lyra continued looking Ty over as he brought his hooves up to his face. "I can't believe I just did that."

"Did what?" Lyra asked with confusion plastered on her face. "I've already forgiven you for knocking Bon Bon off the cliff, and if I didn't forgive you for hitting me in the eye earlier, I do now. We didn't know who each other were, and you were probably just defending yourself."

Ty rubbed the back of his neck. "I was talking about everything else. I've committed an 'act of violence' on one of the subjects of a certain ruler I've already ran away from, Bon Bon is probably still peeved and will undoubtedly seek SMILE's help, I barely even remember what Bon Bon said that made me so mad, and to top it all off, I did so through the use of an overused 300 reference," Ty listed as he flopped back onto his back. He only stayed on the ground for about a second before Lyra pulled him back up and onto his hind legs.

"I'm sure it will all work out. By the way, I think I've seen that movie you were referencing."

Ty's eyes widened slightly, even if it was hard to see since his eyes and coat are the same color. 'I'm not quite sure I believe that, although it's entirely possible a 'ponified' version of it exists in Equestria.' "Really?"

"You know, the one about the 300 human Spartans fighting off the Persians?"

"..."

"Miss?"

"..."

"Hello?"

"Where did you see that?"

"The movie?" Lyra asked nervously. "Um... I bought it through perfectly legal means, I assure you."

Ty just rubbed his lower forehead in frustration. "I'm not sure I want to know how you came into contact with the film anymore. Let's start with something simpler. Why did you buy it in the first place?" Ty began tapping his forehooves in anticipation. A small amount of worry, too.

Lyra's face lit up. "Oh! Well that's because I was learning about human culture, I've developed a real fascination for it over the past two days."

"Just two days?"

Lyra nervously rolled her hooves. "Well, that was when I first learned about them. I met a pegasus who mentioned them. Seemed really proud to know what they were, so I decided to jump in with the herd."

'For some reason I don't believe that... Are the writers screwing with me again? Ah, whatever. If it is true, I'll have to pay this pegasus a visit. See what I can find out. Speaking of which...'

"Well, I believe I should be going, but before I do I'd like to genuinely thank you for being more reasonable than... essentially anypony else I've ever met. I was thinking standing up like this would make me look strange to you."

Lyra passively waved a hoof. "You're perfectly fine. Walking on your hind hooves isn't exactly common, but some ponies do it from time to time. There are more secluded villages that think it's the superior way to walk, but tradition wins out. Most ponies around here would just think you look strange." She started giving Ty a look that made him feel slightly uncomfortable. "I certainly don't mind it."

"Alright then..." Ty mumbled before extending a hoof to Lyra. She shook it. "Thank you for not screwing me over as much as this stupid sho-... place has."

"You're welcome." Lyra gave him a warm smile. He couldn't help but find her at least a little endearing. "And good luck with whatever comes up next."

"Thanks. Believe me," Ty leaned forward a little. "I am not going to be the next Kenny Mccormick. At least I hope not."

Lyra watched Ty trudge back into the Everfree. "I wonder how she knows who that is?" she mumbled to herself before making her way down to find her friend.





Ty made his way through the trees with renewed confidence in each of his two-legged strides.

'A pony had finally given me a bit more of a chance, and I was sure not to reject it that time. I'd acted like a person. A person with psychological issues, sure, but a person nonetheless. I didn't be overly pacifistic, and while Bon Bon didn't either, Lyra still respected me enough to have a 'normal' conversation.'

'I am certain this experience in Equestria is going to turn around once I get out of these woods, maybe I'll even try and improve my social skills and find a town to settle down and hide in. After all, I am living in a cartoon now, a land of ponies who would hopefully be very nice if I dropped the cynicism. Maybe I'll just live the dream in Equestria, learn how to use magic, and do everything anyone who watches the show wishes for,' Ty thought with one main emotion: Hope.

Hope that became the second main emotion he felt after pain, when he unwittingly slammed into a tree. Dazed, he looked up at the oaken attacker that was rapidly descending upon him.

'Why Mother? Why wasn't I born a Mary Sue?'

CRUNCH