Twilight hopped off the train, humming a tune to herself as she looked up and down the platform. “Huh? I thought the others would be here to greet me…” She was sure she had sent the message correctly, just the way Celestia had shown her. Spike should have gotten it with plenty of time to let everypony know when she was getting back.
“Oh well, I’m sure I’ll see them later.” Checking the bags floating magically over her shoulder, she walked lightly away from the station. Spending personal time with her teacher and mentor always left her in a good mood for days.
The street was strangely empty for that time of day, with only a few ponies here and there going about their business. It didn’t take much effort to find out why, as the soft sound of singing carried over from several houses away. Stretching up onto the tips of her hooves, Twilight could just make out a crowd marching away through a side street.
Shaking her head, Twilight smiled and set off in the other direction. She had never broken out randomly into song before she came to Ponyville and it still occasionally surprised her how easily it was accepted by everypony. Large numbers like that one were rare, but fun enough for everypony to stop what they were doing for ten minutes and join in.
“That’s probably where Pinkie Pie is, too.” Twilight thought aloud.
As if that had summoned her, Pinkie sailed through the air right over Twilight’s head. “HI TWILIGHT!” she shouted merrily, landing deftly on the roof on the train station and bounding off. Twilight’s momentary shock deepened when a dozen more ponies followed closely after her.
“Hi Twilight, step in time! Hi Twilight, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme…” Their voices faded off as the group got further away.
Twilight stared after them before slowly getting to her feet. “Two songs at the same time?” It wasn’t unheard of, but something still seemed off. She suddenly realized she was humming under her breath again, the same tune as when she had gotten off the train. She couldn’t quite place where she’s heard the tune before. It was very catchy…
Lost in thought, she turned a corner and froze. Her eyes widened as she realized what she was seeing. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong! Springing into motion, she dashed as fast as her hooves could carry her to her library. “SPIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!!!”
Behind her, Big Mac stared deeply into glass window of the Quills & Sofas store as if it contained all the answers of the universe. “When will my reflection show… who ah am… insiiiiiide…”
…
“Come in, my child.” The voice said. “We mustn’t lurk in doorways. It’s rude.”
Taking a deep breath, Lyra stepped quickly into the dark of the wagon’s interior. The Great and Powerful Trixie tried backing up to give her some more room, but between all her living supplies, packs of food, spare parts in case the wagon fell apart on the road, stacks of fireworks, and other various paraphernalia of the wandering lifestyle, there wasn’t a whole lot of room for two ponies.
After jostling each other for a few minutes, Trixie sighed and pointed to the door. “Maybe we should do this outside.”
“I’m having second thoughts about this…” Lyra muttered, backing out as quickly as she could. Come to think of it, she couldn’t seem to remember have first thoughts. It had just… occurred to her that Trixie would be out here just inside the Everfree forest and she had to find her. For some reason…
“Now then.” Trixie said, trying to regain some of the drama out of the situation. “You’re here because you have a thing you want. And the only way to get it, is to become a human yourself.”
All thoughts of questioning why flew from her mind. “Actually, being human is the thing I want! Can you do that?!?”
Trixie tilted her hat down over her eyes and chuckled. “My dear, sweet filly. That’s what I do! It’s what I live for, to help unfortunate ponies, like yourself.”
“I thought you were just an annoying show pony who spent her days traveling from town to town showing off.” Lyra interrupted.
“IT WAS JUST THAT ONE TIME!” Trixie shouted. “And none of that would have happened if there weren’t so many rude ponies in Ponyville!”
Lyra snorted. “What, you couldn’t handle a little heckling? And if you’re so powerful, why couldn’t you get rid of that Ursa Minor?”
“I couldn’t figure out how to get the Ursa to hold a quill!”
“What’s that even supposed to mean?”
“Stop interrupting and maybe I’ll tell you! I swear, Ponyville is a bunch of…” Trixie put a hoof over her eyes and visibly calmed herself. “Look… I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty. They weren’t kidding when they called me, well…”
“A hack?” Lyra suggested.
Trixie glared at her. “…But you’ll find that nowadays, I’ve mended all my ways. Repented, seen the light, and made a switch. To… THIS!” She bucked the side of her wagon and a large sign unfolded from the roof with a light shower of fireworks. It read ‘The Great & Powerful Trixie’s Traveling Shop of Wonders! Your Problems Solved, or Your Bits Returned!’
“And I fortunately know a little magic.” Trixie continued, floating her hat off her head to reveal her glowing horn. “It’s my talent; that I always have possessed! And dear Lyra, please don’t laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed…”
“Pathetic…” Lyra muttered wondering where this sales pitch was going and whether it would get back to the more interesting topic of humans.
“Poor unfortunate foals!” Trixie sang, too caught up to notice her audiences’ waning interest. “In pain, in need! This one wanted to be thinner, this one wants to get the mare, and did Trixie help them? Yes indeed.”
“I’m not interested in your old clients.” Lyra said, pushing away the pamphlets Trixie was thrusting at her. “And why are these all little foals?”
“Yes, all successfully helped foals!” Trixie continued. “So sad, so true! They come flocking to my wagon, crying ‘Spells, Trixie please!’. And does the Great and Powerful Trixie help them? Yes I do.
“Now it’s happened once or twice, somepony couldn’t pay the price. And I’m afraid I’ve had to rake them ‘cross the coals.”
“Did you sic a giant star beast on their hometowns as well?” Lyra asked a little too sweetly.
“Yes, I’ve had the odd complaint.” Trixie grated, before slipping back into the swing of things. “But on the whole I’ve been a saint to those poor unfortunate foals!”
“Seriously, you’ve only helped foals so far?”
“Their parents don’t seem to want anything to do with me.” Trixie pouted. “Trixie believes that cruel and untrue rumors have been circulating from a certain nearby village… anyway, do you want to be a human or not?”
“Yes I do!” Lyra said, bouncing excitedly in place.
“…really?” Trixie asked, cautiously wondering where all the mint pony’s cynicism had disappeared to. “You don’t want to think about maybe never seeing your father or sisters ever again?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Being a human is awesome! I plan on marching straight back into town after this!”
“Alright…” Trixie said uncertainly, summoning a golden scroll out of thin air with a blue flash. “Well, if you’ll just sign here at the bottom, the Great and Powerful Trixie can get started with… what are you doing?”
Lyra unfolded the roll of paper and sat down into a more comfortable position. “I’m reading this.”
“WHAT?!?” Trixie cried, rearing back and throwing her forelegs out wide. “WHY?!?”
“What kind of moron would sign a contract without reading it?” Lyra countered.
Trixie gaped at her before collapsing onto her hind legs. “Everypony I’ve ever dealt with, apparently.” She muttered. The silence stretched.
“Hey. Is this what you meant earlier, about the Ursa Minor and a quill? Can you only cast big spells if you get somepony to sign an agreement first?”
“Shut up!” Trixie growled. “It’s a touchy subject for me.”
“You’re some kind of lawyer-magician?!” Lyra laughed.
“Oh sure, pick on Trixie like everypony else! Have you finished reading yet?”
“Just a minute. What does this part here mean, about you holding the right to send minions to interfere with my progress during the trial period?”
Trixie hopped up and started pacing. “Look, it’s very simple. The spell only lasts for three days. At the end of that time, if you’ve managed to kiss another human, the spell will become permanent.”
“It says ‘you’ll take love’s true form’.” Lyra pointed to the appropriate passage.
“Not the point!” Trixie cried. “If you can’t find another human, I don’t have to refund you no matter how unsatisfied you are. And I can try to stop you so long as Trixie doesn’t do anything personally. Understand?”
“I suppose… but what’s this part here at the end about draining me?”
“That’s right!” Trixie clapped her hooves together sharply. “We haven’t discussed the subject of payment!”
“I don’t have many-”
“The fifty bits is merely an accounting fee, a just a token really, a trifle! What I want from you is… your magic!”
“My magic?” Lyra gasped. “But without my magic, how can I-”
“You’ll have those hooks,” Trixie pressed, “They are called fingers. And don’t forget the importance of body posture, HA! The ponies out there never did believe you. They thought your precious beliefs were a bore! You see it’s really much preferred you didn’t have to say a word, cause after all dear, that’s what presentation’s for!
“Come on, they’ll never be convinced with speculation! True skeptics will sigh and take their leave. But they’ll gape and swoon and wow when you stand up and take a bow. It’s she who brings the proof that they’ll believe! Come on you poor unfortunate foal!”
“I’m nearly twenty-one.” Lyra tried to put in, but Trixie was done with interruptions and ignored her.
“Go ahead, make your choice! I’m a very busy pony,” Trixie gestured to the empty clearing around them and proceeded to ignore that too. “And I haven’t got all day. It won’t cost much, just your magic! You poor unfortunate foal! It’s sad, but true. If you want to cross a bridge with feet, you’ve got to pay the toll.”
Lyra took a gulp and then a breath.
“NOW GO AHEAD AND SIGN THAT SCROLL!” Trixie shouted, her patience finally breaking. She pulled a stuffed ursa doll out from under her cloak and started brushing it. “Mr. Bearsie, I think I’ve hooked her, boy. I’m Great and Power-FUUUULL!” Trixie threw her arms out and started backing up the stairs of her wagon to gain height, fireworks shooting off with every step she took. “You Poor. Un. Fortunate. FOOAALLL!”
“Alright!” Lyra cheered, caught up in the moment. Her horn glowed golden as she moved the pen quickly across the parchment, making her mark.
Trixie immediately settled down and started concentrating, powerful magic gathering around her horn. “Beluga sevruga, what you wish you shall presently be!”
Glowing strands of magic crept out from the earth and surrounded Lyra, lifting her up into the air and obscuring her from sight. It rolled and flashed, briefly illuminating the changes occurring within.
“These words aren’t important, the beat’s all I need, now bow to Trixie!”
A small ball of magic shot out from the tip of her horn and connected with the swirling energies. There was an explosion of light, and suddenly the spell was done. Lyra floated softly to the ground, landing lightly on her fleshy, five-toed feet. She looked down in amazement at her soft, mint green dress with a lyre stitched on the side to her hands. With wonder in her eyes, she twitched each finger one by one, as if to prove they were real.
“Yes… well… that’s it.” Trixie said uncomfortably, but Lyra wasn’t paying any more attention to her. “You’ll be billed in the mail shortly. Now go away.” With that she stepped back and slammed the wagon door closed with a bang.