"Sister, stop singing! Where's that coming from?" Luna asked as she paused on the dirt road. They had been troting nonstop though the sticks for the past 3 and a half hours. They had only stopped once and rink-dink hotel, or rather, 'stable.' As the Equestrians called them. For souvenirs and pictures. They hadn't seen William since they left Canterlot. They both knew he was following them. But hadn't kept tract on account of them singing. "It sounds like a banjo." Celestia replied, they both turned their heads, and looked back down the trail. There was William, carrying that enormous backpack of his. His rifle was slung over his back and he was strumming away at a banjo and whistling. He shuffled his feet as he walked.
"William, what are you doing?" He paused when the question hit him, and looked up at the sisters. "I'm passing the time." He deadpaned. " By playing my favorite musical instrument. And one of a few that I can actually play." They smiled, " Very well then." William held up a finger and gestured back towards Canterlot. " I'm pretty sure your capital cities gonna be in ruins when we get back. But whatever." He shrugged and passed them on the road. " And what, pray tell, are you implying?"
"Just that the 6 ponies you left in charge of your kingdom might not be fit for the job. And don't even bring up Joey. There ain't a chance in hell that he would ever end up ruling your kingdom. " Celestia raised a hoof, " I've seen him work, you really should put more trust in him." William laughed, " Yeah, I've heard him say the same thing to you 'bout me. Isn't that right Luna?" She rolled her eyes, " Yes William, you and your friend both fell out of the sky."
"Ah, technically speaking, that was how he showed up in Equestria. Though I have fallen from many heights, many times. And if not for my training, or my ability to do this. "
A parachute momentarily appeared on his back, and disappeared.
" I may very well be dead today, or at least, still in the hospital. Just one of the daily challenges of not having wings. With the exception of a few special occasions." He gave Luna a thumbs up. " Ah yes," Celestia answered him, " Your many transformations into a... Pegasus-Kirin hybrid, why the spell chose that I will never understand. But it is certainty... Uh, creative." He chuckled, and fiddled with his sidearm. " Yeah, I got the idea for it back on earth. Don't bother asking any further about that. So, " William changed the topic.
"I overheard you thinking about retiring and hoofing off the position of, 'princess.' To Twilight, that have any truth to it?" She gave him a shrug. " My sister and I are still thinking about it. " William looked around at the scenery, " I have just one more question. Who's Grogar the Necromancer?" The color slowly drained from the 2 alicorn's faces.
"My, that's a name I haven't heard in a few centuries." Celestia responded to him in a grim tone, " Where did you hear it?" William pondered the question, obviously he couldn't tell her the truth, so he did what he did best. Fabricate a believable lie, " I came across the name in an old book in Twilight's library. There wasn't much information on him."
"Well, I'll be brief, he existed long before my sister and I were born. No pony really knows where he went, only that he was banished by a unicorn by the name of Gusty the Great. Now he exists only as an old folk tale, meant to scare foals into behaving. " Any chance that he could still be around?" Celestia shook her head. " If he is, we'd have known by now. "
William smiled," Eh, anything can happen in Equestria. Hey, where are we going? I kinda lost track." In the distance, he caught sight of a series of glowing spires. Ones he vaguely recognized. " Las Pegasus. Great, just great!" He rubbed his eyes upon recounting the memories of his brief time there.
"Alrighty then! You 2 can just go right on ahead!" The both of them scowled at him, " William, we know that you had problems with Flim and Flam. But they got kicked out. "William laughed, " Oh, It's not them I'm worried about. I just hate casinos, it's a long story."
The hotel they entered was one of the larger ones on the strip. The princesses went in first, William followed. He took a seat at a bar. And dropped his pack on the ground to the side off him. It was about then when the bartender began asking weather or not he was old enough to be in there. And that, "No weapon's were allowed inside." That was when one of the ponies sitting next to him recognized him from the time he shut down Flim and Flam's scam. And began pestering him for his astrograph, what he got instead was a displeased groan. William was not ok with any of this. All it did was remind him of why he hated big cities.
It took all of 18 minutes and 27 and a half seconds for William took get fed up with the cities nonsense. He stormed out, looked down at a map. And decided the next road trip location for them. " We're going somewhere in the Unicorn mountain range. I'm not gonna question the name. Because it's a tad bit weird naming a whole damn mountain range after a branch of your species. I've been there once before, and it wasn't actually that bad. " He checked his compass, cracked his back. And walked off again. Leaving the princesses to go rushing after him.
"... And that's how the Arizona Ranger ended the threat of Texas red forever! Wasn't that fun!?" William exclaimed, the 2 alicorns looked at him with utter concern. " Uh... Sure William, where exactly are you dragging us to?" Luna said with an uncertain chuckle.
" I'm not forcing you to go anywhere, you literally followed me out of the city after I told you. You can teleport! You could go anywhere else in the world you want right now! But instead you choose to follow me around. Me! The slightly sociopathic, middle aged, one man army that saved your kingdom multiple times! I have done more for your, kingdom' in the past 2 years than your royal guard has done a in a millennium! I can handle myself!"
" Do you hear yourself right now?" Celestia asked with a frown. " That's why we went with you, because you deserve it. Well, that's not entirely true, you can be a pain in our flanks sometimes." Luna glared at her sister while William causally leaned on his rifle and took bites out of a dehydrated apple. Applejack would have lost it if she ever found out what he did to her apples. But, removing the moisture significantly cut down on weight. Which, despite him being in his early twenties and in relatively good physical condition, was still a huge factor. He had pulled more than a few muscles in his back carrying loads that were too heavy. His back usually gave out before his arms did. Something he absolutely despised.
" Anyway, what was that about a vacation? Wasn't this supposed to be, 'relaxing? I'll tell ya what, I'm gonna go find a nice lake to set up camp by, you go have fun. I don't care how, just stay away from me." He waved goodbye to the pair, and headed off down a fork in the road. Only to be yanked aside by Celestia's magic.
"Oh no William, you're going ziplining with my sister and I first. I've waited forever for this!" William screamed in anger, " Put me the #### down or I will shoot you!" The alicorn only giggled and pranced off down the trail, " Luna, help!!!"
"But I thought you could handle 'everything by yourself?" William fought to get his calm back. " No, I need you to convince her to put me down because I actually will shoot her!" He waved his rifle in the air. "I'm not joking! You know I'm not! So please, get her to put me down, and gently!" Luna snorted at her sister. Who returned the gesture and dropped William.
"Thank you!" He said gruffly, tugging on his BDU's. " Never do that again." He turned around and walked down the path. Wondering why the alicorn of the sun had suddenly became so enthusiastic. And personally, he didn't care.
"So, lake lake lake..." He pulled out his map, turned it upside down a few times, squinted at it, and picked a spot. It was a relatively small one tucked in between 2 cliffs. " I think I'll go with that one, it's only a half mile."
Later that evening...
"... I'm done with this!" When William heard Luna's voice call out, followed by what he assumed was Celestia letting out a genuine neigh, all he could do was facepalm. " Shut up! I'm trying to read!" It was an old book he had picked up at a local library on Equestrian tactics in war. The thick film of dust over it had said it all to him before he had even picked it up. Not only was it short, but it's actual contents were centuries behind those of humankind's. Nevertheless, he intended to finish it. "Damnit, this is getting boring. Thought I saw a cave back up the mountain pass. that rule about crawling into unknown caverns can go to hell." He got up, fixed a white light to his helmet, and trekked up the trail to the cave opening. A crack in the side of the rock wall about 4 feet high and 3 feet wide at it's most. As soon as he went through it though, the crevice opened up. He was disappointed to find that there didn't seem to be anything important in there. With the exception of a collection of drawings on the wall left of him. Upon further examination, it seemed to depict the defeat of Grogar at the, hooves or what appeared to be some kind of unicorn. He wished he had his camera. But settled for having to copy them down on a small notebook. He took some time afterwards to check around the small cavern to ensure that was all that was worth exploring. He went back to camp.
As he exited it, and looked up at the evening sky. He noticed that something was obviously wrong with the sky. The sun and the moon were flying all over the place, from horizon to horizon. "Holy ####, that escalated quickly. " He figured he might as well pack up camp and try and find the royals.
"William!" He put his hand on his forehead as he approached his campsite. " Your horns aren't glowing, so who's doing... That?" He pointed up at the sky. " We need to get back to Canterlot. " William held up his hand before they could leave.
"You mind teleporting me home first-" He hadn't even finished his sentence before he found himself on his house doorsteps. Looking down at one very surprised blue and white alicorn. " So, how'd your vacation go? Also, what's wrong with the sun and moon?" William groaned, and took a sip of water. " I haven't the slightest. Educated guess? Twilight broke something. "