Scales and Sweets

by SilverEyedWolf


A Night Out

"Spike, I'm flattered," Pinkie started to say, but he held up a paw.

"Whoa, Pinkie, hold on," Spike said, still smiling but turning it down, leaving the smirk behind for a stab at understanding. "I know you were, well, in a pretty bad way after Cheese sent you that last letter about that mare he was seeing, and you're probably not ready to move on.

"But it's a date with a friend!" he said, holding his paws up to her with the same soft grin. "I know not to expect anything, you get out of the store for a night, plus we get to hang out without talking about other mares. No strings, no expectations, just a night out on the town with a buddy."

She still looked a little unsure, so Spike leaned back and let his paws rest on the table they were at.

"If it's just too awkward, I understand," he said, but she shook her head as soon as he finished the fifth word.

"No, Spike, it's not that," she said with a look he wasn't used to seeing on her face. "I just don't want to lose a friend if something does happen, and I say the wrong thing, or—"

She let the sentence trail off when he leaned forward, looking into her eyes.

"Pinkie, it's me," he said, his lips quirking up. "I'm not Rarity or Fluttershy. You have no idea how hard it would be for one of my friends to push me away for any real length of time."

"Leading you on for a couple dates before dumping you?" Pinkie replied, giving him a tiny, sorry smile.

His grin slipped off of his face. He almost felt it shatter in his lap.

Looking down, he took a couple of breaths, even closing his eyes for the second one as he almost physically shoved away his thoughts.

"Alright," he said softly, nodding. "I'll admit your point there. But," he said, looking up into her eyes once again, "I haven't exactly been pining along for years and years here."

Pinkie let her grin curl up along the corner of her lips. "Oh, you haven't, huh?"

He didn't try and stop the laugh. "From what I hear, I don't hide it very well, so you'd know if I had," he stage-whispered, cocking an eyebrow up as high as it could go.

She pressed a hoof to her lip and giggled, and when she let it come back to rest on the table, Spike lifted a paw and raised a singular digit.

"One date, no strings, no expectations," he said, crossing over his chest with the digit. "We go out, I wine and dine you, maybe catch a show if the theater has anything fun going on, and we end the night by coming back and playing monopoly until we pass out on the floor. Sound fun?"

Her gaze wavered in place, but her smile only grew as she slowly nodded. "Alright then, mister dragon. One date, to be cashed in at our leisure. Sound right?"

Spike offered his scaly knuckles, and Pinkie pressed her hoof's frog against them before giggling.

"Wow, it's gonna be weird if Moondancer doesn't turn you down now."

"Or even if she does," he snickered. "I mean, it's always awkward to cry in front of a mare," Spike said with a loose grin.

Pinkie didn't seem to find it funny, though. "I thought you weren't exactly excited by the prospect of a date? Why would Moondancer turning you down...?"

"Uh, well," he said, tapping a claw on the table between them, "it was mostly a joke, but... Well, it's less about the who than the what, I suppose; more about being turned down than who turned me down. The rejection."

"Ah," Pinkie said, her frown turning into a sad smile. "Yeah, I understand that."

They sat for a moment, lost in their respective thoughts before Spike raised his arms in the air. Making sure the movements were telegraphed, he slammed his paws on the table and stood up.

"Let's do it now," he said, not waiting for an answer as he rounded the main desk. Grabbing his money, he counted quickly to make sure there was a decent amount before grabbing a saddlebag and strapping it to a leg. "Where d'you wanna go? Anything good at the theater tonight?"

"Spike," Pinkie said with some force but also a wide smile. "You don't want to wait on Moondancer? What if she says yes?" Her eyes got really wide and she gushed, "OhMyGoshWhatIfSheMailsYouBackAndItSaysYesButItFallsInAWineGlassAndGetsSoSoggyYouCan'tReadItAndThenYouCan'tReplyAndSheTellsAllOfCanterlotThatYou'reLikeAWineAndDineDasherOrSomethingLike—"

"Pinkie!" returned Spike in the same tone she'd used before he started laughing. "Pinkie, please, I can only understand you if it's funny for me to!"

Pinkie paused, taking a breath and wiping a hoof across her forehead.

"See Spike, that's why you're the straight-pony," she chuckled with a grin.

"Like tartarus I am," he chuckled before frowning. "Uh, a pony, I meant..." Hanging his head, he sighed and clapped his hand over his eyes. "Damnit."

Laughing, Pinkie waved a hoof. "Whatever. What's on your mind for food?"

Spike snapped his head up, lifting a thumb as he said, "Yes."

Laughing harder, Pinkie stood up, walked around the table, and let Spike let them out of the library.

Making sure to turn the sign to closed, then locking the door, he looked down at her. "Alright, so, are we doing like, fine dining? Or low-brow? Wine versus beer?" He shuddered before adding, "Uh, wine versus fountain drink."

"Still swimming in that regret pool, huh?" Pinkie chuckled, gently elbowing his hip.

"For a while," he murmured with a small burp.

"Let's go—" Pinkie started before cutting herself off and glancing up at Spike appraisingly. With a slow grin, she gestured at him with her muzzle. "You pick," she said, raising her eyebrows.

"Oho?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "A challenge? A dare, perhaps?"

Pinkie didn't say anything, keeping the tight grin and raised brow.

"Oh crap, you're serious," Spike replied, dropping the tone. Scowling at the town around them, he reached up and scratched the top of his head.

After a moment, he glanced down at her. "Well, Sugar Cube Corner is right out, let me just say," he snarked. "Word is, their cute waitress isn't even working right now, so there wouldn't be much of a point in trying to do breakfast for dinner," he told the giggling mare.

He bit his lip and glanced around for a moment before a spark came to his eyes, and he looked down at Pinkie. "Got it," he said, gesturing out with a paw. "Perfect idea, just hit me. You ready for a little bit of fun?"

"Spike," she said reproachfully.

"Right, it was a trick question," he said, dropping a wink.

With a slight misstep on his part, the two of them continued down a few alleys, Spike plucking short questions out of the air that kept Pinkie talking. Anything from a specific pony's cake preferences at certain times of year to what kind of rock that was on the ground; he kept her chatting and mostly laughing.

Their first pause was outside a certain store that Spike knew a bit better than Pinkie, by a slim margin.

"This isn't a restaurant Spike," she said, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, I hadn't noticed," he chuckled before slowly placing a paw on her shoulder. "I'll be right back, and then we'll hit the actual destination."

She smiled and nodded at him before her head whipped to the side, and she started talking to a pony Spike barely recognized, who jumped slightly before giving Pinkie a shaky grin and returning the conversation.

The bell above the door jingled as he pushed in, and a pony behind the counter began, "Ah, hallo, velcome to zee—" before they looked up and spotted Spike. "Ah bruh, suh dude," they finished, flicking their snout Spike's way before pulling a magazine back onto the counter. Almost automatically, he ran a hoof over his mane, letting it flop over his eyes.

"Suh," Spike replied, holding up his fist to bump the pony's hoof on the way past. Walking into one of the aisles, he grabbed two bottles, a more somber black one from the middle and a brighter one from the bottom. Walking back to the counter, he sighed heavily before pointing at one specific bottle behind the pony. "And can I get a bribe too."

The pony glanced at his claw, following it to the shelf before whistling. "Celestia's tits Spike, who you payin' off, the mayor?"

"Nah," he sighed, smirking. "She's got cheaper tastes. How much, William?"

"It's Bill, dude," they murmured before telling him the price.

He flinched.

Reaching into the saddlebags, he pulled out his coins and pulled out all of the bigger ones, stacking them on the counter. Sighing, he pulled out several more, making another stack next to the tower.

"Nice doin' business, Spike," Bill said, sliding the coins into the register and sighing as he slicked the hair back into place.

Grabbing three thin paper bags, Spike loaded his purchases up and slid them into his saddlebag, shoving one of the tops to get the latch back down over the bottles.

Walking out of the store, he found Pinkie now conversing with two mares and a stallion, all of them glancing over at Spike before the stallion hid his muzzle behind a hoof and giggled.

"Real mature Blitz," Spike murmured before waving at Pinkie. "Ready?"

"Yeah!" she said, turning and giving out a couple of hugs in goodbye before falling into step with Spike again.

They made it about thirty paces before Pinkie asked, "So, where we going?"

"You'll see," he said with a gentle hip-check. "You've spent time there before, so I know you like it. I'm just hoping you'll see what I was going for."

"So it's something I shouldn't judge by the cover," she half asked with a grin.

"Only as much as I think you should be judged by the cover," Spike replied with another soft bump.

"Ooo, careful there, colt," she said lowly with a chuckle.

Taking another few paces, Spike paused and glanced down at her. When she looked up at him, he nodded towards a nearby building. He watched her for a reaction, but she kept her expression neutral if you didn't include the slightly wider eyes.

"That's a pretty high-risk gamble there, Spike," she said, almost physically wiping the smile from her muzzle. Instead, she looked up into his eyes, keeping her face perfectly plain as she asked, "Really?"

"Hear me out," he said, raising a paw halfway from his waist, "I know it's not exactly the classiest place, but we both know just how good their food is; plus, we'll have someplace to either work up an appetite or work off the heavy food. It's greasy, spicy, and undignified."

Gesturing out to the building, he smirked. "I think it's perfect."

Pinkie let the placid mask fall away for a trademark grin. "Have'ya brought any other mares here?"

"Twilight, on her birthday one year," he snickered, gesturing them forward. As they neared the door, he slipped ahead and held it for her. "I think Trixie and Starlight were there too if that counts."

"So, not...?" she asked gently.

"Rarity?" he asked, glancing down at her before there was the loud sound of resin striking maple wood.

Slightly yelling over the cacophony of twenty lanes worth of ponies, pins, and rolling balls, Spike asked, "Did you really ask if I've ever taken Rarity to a bowling alley?"

Pinkie laughed as they walked up to the counter, glancing around the mixed crowd of jostling school foals, a couple of more athletic couples, and one alley of a competitive team practicing in uniform. "I mean, I mostly wanted to imagine it. Rarity, eating chili cheese fries and trying to throw a ball? You try."

Spike chuckled, nodding his head. "I know what you mean. I think I may pay to see that skit."

He turned his attention towards the proprietor and clerk behind the counter. "Heya there, Pinstrike," he said, holding out a curled fist for the white pony.

Snorting, the stallion bumped the fist before nodding towards Pinkie. "Ma'am. Isn't this an occurrence, then? The whole town knows you're friends, of course," he said, giving them a snicker, "but just the two of you? Revolutionary. Singular. Exceptional, even."

"You've been chewing on that thesaurus again there, Pins," Spike chuckled before leaning on the counter and giving a heavy glance around. "So, how's about a lane for, let's say, two hours. And a couple of 'glasses' as well," he said, giving a waggle of his eyebrows and a shake of his leg that had the glass bottles in his bag ringing like little glass bells.

"Now Spike," Pinstrike said reproachfully, frowning as he slicked back his burnt-orange mane. "You know there's no outside beverages or snacks allowed. I've got a business to run, after all."

"Right, right," Spike murmured, slipping a paw down to the saddlebag. Pulling out one of the bottles, he glanced around casually as he slipped it behind the counter. "I wouldn't be just asking for them, of course. A good turn deserves repayment, after all," he said with emphasis.

A smirk drew across Pinstrike's muzzle, and the stallion carefully pulled the neck of the bottle out of the bag. He stopped, his eyes freezing before the smile dropped.

"Holstein's Chateau Le Cabin, Strawberry Breeze," he deadpanned.

Spike swore before taking another paper bag out of his saddlebag and checking the bottle before swapping them out of Pinstrike's hooves.

Giving Spike an unamused look, the stallion once again pulled the neck of the bottle out. This time, his eyes immediately took on a deep shine, and he glanced up at Spike. "Really now?" he drew out, glancing at Pinkie with renewed interest. "Very well then," he said, placing the bottle carefully below the register before ringing up a complex combination on the machine in front of them.

"Two hours, lane twenty," he said before taking a pair of stemless crystal glasses and placing them on the counter. In one glass, he deposited their receipt, and then he smirked at Spike as he placed another slip into the other glass. "Don't let too many ponies see ya drinking in here."

"Don't care what anypony else says about ya Pins; you're a good pony," Spike said, picking up the glasses and winking at Pinkie.

She pranced behind him as they worked through the crowd to the last lane, lightly shadowed and right beneath the air conditioner. "What's the other slip for?" she asked, her tail flicking out as they passed the balls on the wall to grab her preferred ten-pin ball.

Swirling the glass, Spike chuckled before he told her, "Twenty-bit coupon at the snack bar."

Pinkie glanced at the coupon, then the lane. "Hey, speaking of, I didn't see you pay for the lane?"

He snorted. "Oh, I paid," he murmured darkly before winking down at her. "That bottle was top-shelf material, and Pins knows it."

Pinkie glanced at the saddlebag on his hip with a frown. "Spike, how much did you spend on this date?"

"Enough," he said, waving a paw through the air.

"Spike," she said, stopping where she was and looking up at him.

He took another couple of steps, looked down, and paused when he didn't see her. Sighing, he turned back and hunkered down to whisper in her ear.

"Spike!" she yelled, looking horror-struck at the number he'd said. "That's—"

"I know," he said, looking down at her. "Pinkie, look, I didn't exactly do it to impress you," he said, looking at her face-to-face. "I just know Pinstrike, and while I probably could've gotten away with something cheaper, I wanted to be sure to get some time here. Pins can be temperamental, and the middle-shelf stuff doesn't always cut it, y'know?

"Besides," he said, straightening up, "not only are you immensely worth it," he uttered with a grin, "but I'm not doing anything with it. I get paid by Twilight and the government for both the library and my artifact recording at the castle."

"It's still, like, a week-and-a-half's worth of work at the bakery," she said with a frown.

Spike snickered. "And, and? We don't even get to drink it," he said with a glance back at the counter.

"Wait," she said, glancing at the saddlebag, "so that doesn't even include the other ones you bought?"

"I mean, these were less than forty bits together," he said, tapping the bottles. "If it helps you feel better, the one I got for you was the cheapest."

Pinkie kept her frown, but it was much more amused now than she felt it should have been.

"Look, if you really just don't like how much I paid, you could always throw me a couple of bits that I wouldn't need," he said, once again walking towards the table behind the furthest lane. "But I promise that I don't mind. If I didn't think this was worth it, I wouldn't have brought you here, would I?"

She followed along, still frowning at him. She deposited her ball in the return as they passed it, and she sat at the table with him so that they were again eye-to-eye.

"I'm not especially comfortable with anycreature spending this much on me," she told him.

He placed the glasses down on the table, glanced at the concession counter, then sat down. "I'm sorry?" he offered.

When she raised her eyebrows at him, he pressed a paw to his forehead and scratched between his scaly brows. "I mean, I guess I'm not really sure what the problem is. Twilight, Rarity, and Trixie all love it when I splurge a bit on them. I've never been told it was a problem."

Pinkie frowned before letting a breath out. "Spike, Rarity likes the sort of position of power implicated with high-bit gifts like that, and Twilight's your sister. And Trixie is used to creatures giving her stuff; I'm sure she wouldn't even question how many bits it was. But I'm a first date, Spike," she said, leaning forward and placing a hoof on his paw. "It puts a kind of pressure on me, Spike, pressure to try my best to enjoy this no matter what happens or let the bits go to waste.

"And, uh, some stallions like to throw their bits around and expect to get 'something' back from a mare for it," she said quietly.

After a moment, he cocked his head and asked, "Like, a kickback? I already said that if you wanted to pay me back, that's fine but not necessary, right? Or did you mean like—" he started to go on, but she placed a hoof on his muzzle.

"And if I don't have enough bits for that? How else should I pay you back?"

He made a confused noise, and she chuckled before dropping her hoof. "Most stallions would be after a smooch or something more."

Spike's confused face scrunched before he paled and dropped his expression.

Looking around, he leaned forward and started to say, "Pinkie Pie, has somepony—"

She gave a quiet laugh and shook her head. "Not me, no, but I've heard the story a couple times, and not just from Momma Pie," she said. "But do you understand now? How it could look?"

Spike nodded, looking down at the table and frowning. After a moment, he looked up. "I'm sorry, Pinkie," he said again. "I'd understand if you're not comfortable continuing the night."

She watched him, chewing on her bottom lip in thought, before shaking her head. "It's okay, Spike. I never thought you would have those sorts of reasons, not really. But I needed you to think about that.

"After all," she said, leaning back and smiling at him, "this is kind of just another practice date, isn't it?"

He frowned at her before sighing. "You want something to snack on?"

She glanced at the coupon still in the glass on the table. "Sure, Spike. You know what I like, right?"

Chuckling, he nodded before grabbing the coupon and standing.

As he walked away from the table, though, something about the whole situation just didn't sit right with him. Even as he walked back to the table with their food, something nagged at him, and he couldn't be rid of it the entire night.