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// 22 - Report Time is not Optional 
// Story: Closing the Barn Door 
// by David Silver 
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Applejack squinted at the moving robots outside. "Not a bad idea. Are y'all on the same page with this? We can't argue each other's stories or the jig will be right up. Giddyup--" She pointed to the equine robot. "--is taking us back to our vault to report this is a great place and to bring back the others. That's it. Nothing fancier. More details is just more ways to mess this up."

Twilight considered with a hoof to her chin. "We aren't even lying. We do need to submit a report on our findings. No ponies will arrive until that condition is met." That they'd almost certainly not be sent back out was a small snag they didn't have to share.

"So everyone agrees? Great, so let's get movin' before more of 'em show up. Is there vault filled with the things?"

Giddyup clip-clopped to the door at a normal walking rate. "This could be the case. Do you wish to enact repairs on them, Twilight? They are in need of upkeep."

Twilight blinked as she followed. "Aren't we leaving?"

"I had to make you aware of it. I have no ability to sway your decision." Giddyup had done his part, informing the closest mechanic he knew of the issue.

"They build those things to last." Stan stopped in front of the door. "With our luck, they'll be doin' their job a century from now."

Giddyup was next, stepping on the near-hidden panel to open the door quietly and quickly. He did not expect the assaultron to be standing right outside the door. "You are resuming your previous initiative." It was not a question, not at all.

"Affirmative. Returning to the location of great pony density." Giddyup turned in place as the ponies caught up. "Success relies on their reporting of the status of Project Utopia to the other ponies. They have been made aware of the comforts and safety provided by this town."

"The tour was not complete." The assaultron fixed Giddyup with its unfeeling gaze. "There are factors they are unaware of as a result."

"The report was sufficient for them to come to a conclusion." Giddyup whinnied softly, quite authentically. "We must share this report with the other ponies before progress can be made."

Uneasy quiet filled the air. Was it considering? "You do not require four ponies to submit a report."

"That ain't exactly true." Applejack looked up at the robot. "Y'see, Giddyup's a fine machine, don't get be wrong, but he only does a little on his own. Each of us has a purpose."

"Explain. Describe your purposes in this endeavor." The assaultron seemed neither angry nor trusting, simply stating its question.

Twilight reared up to wave her hooves. "I'm the technical expert."

"Twilight Sparkle." That was not a question, simply assigning the name to the pony that had just spoken.

Daffodil pointed at herself. "They sent me specifically to check things out and give a detailed report to... what you'd call the 'boss of the ponies'."

Applejack joined in the gesture, though at herself instead of Daffodil. "Ah'm a guard. The world ain't safe out there. Ya need someone that can defend yerself, here and back."

Skyline raised a brow at Daffodil. "Wait, you were?"

"Understood." The assaultron's attention was on Skyline. "What is your purpose?"

"I'm a hired mercenary." Skyline patted his blades. "You know I know how to use these, even if you're a tough nut to crack. So put me in as a guard, like Applejack."

Stan shrugged softly. "Ah ain't a pony." There was noone trying to keep him there. "That cover it all?"

"Rate your offensive and defensive capabilities." They added no name, but they were looking at Giddyup as expectantly as a robot was able.

"Minor and only as cover, which I provide only minor amounts." Giddyup was not a battle titan by any measure. "My primary purpose is companionship."

"Your primary purpose is pony gathering. Override your other priorities."

It was, perhaps, for the best that he couldn't move his ears or tails to show his dismay at the idea. Giddyup was still a moment. "Affirmative. That task cannot be completed."

"Error. Why not?" The assaultron clenched a hand. "This is not optional."

"We must return to the vault. I am aware of the location of both vault's populations." Giddyup nodded towards Skyline. "He is an inhabitant of one vault. The others are from the other. It is only with their help that this task can proceed."

"You are aware of the location of all missing ponies. This is good. You have a plan to retrieve them. This is good. Our programming does not include this eventuality." The assaultron returned their attention to the few ponies they had, which had just  been requested to give up on. "Our directive is to protect and secure the ponies, but we must not do that to gain more ponies to secure and protect." Sure, they were thinking outloud there, working through the logical dillema.

Twilight shrugged softly. "We all have our directives. Yours won't have a chance if we don't go home and tell the others about what we saw here. The odds of them happening on you randomly is vanishingly tiny." She held two hooves close together. "And Giddyup on his own won't be able to get them moving."

"You are home." That was simple fact. "Task completed?"

Skyline slid in front of Twilight. "She's not used to it. She meant her old home, the vault. Besides, it won't feel like home without her friends around. We need those. A pony without its herd isn't healthy, and it is your job to do that, isn't it?"

The assaultron's hands unclenched as it assumed a more neutral stance. "That is my directive. Go and fetch your herd and bring them here. We will protect them, and you. Your lives will be safe and prosperous. Agreed?"

"They would be both of those things," agreed Twilight without agreeing to the other part of that. "I'll tell them as soon as I can!"

Giddyup nodded at the automaton. "Do you wish to accompany us?" He was roughly shoved by Stan, an elbow in the side. A bad question? "To verify our progress." That didn't make Stan's look get any better. Giddyup had said something wrong and he wasn't sure what.

"That is not possible." It stepped aside, opening the way forward. "My operational range does not include your destination. My ability to compromise has limits and there is nothing gained in my presence with you. You have sufficient guarding force."

Giddyup whickered softly as he advanced past the assaultron. "Have a good day."

Outside, they could see the many automated forces that worked diligently to keep the town looking fresh and new, just as they'd first run into it. The group was silent, as silent as the machines aside from the whirrs and jets of their movevement to go along with the clops and crushing of dirt under shoes.

"Did that just work?" Daffodil looked over her shoulder at the dwindling town behind them. "I did not think that'd work!"

Applejack circled around to be next to Daffodil. "Right glad of that, now what's this ah hear about somepony bein' a spy?"

"I'm not a spy!" She recoiled with a grimace. "The Overmare just asked that I watch what happened and let her know."

Applejack's brows fell. "Thank you fer remindin' me what a spy is."

Skyline chuckled as he ambled along on Daffodil's other side. "Spy, huh? Didn't think you had it in you."

"I don't have it in me!" But the two ponies flanking her seemed certain. "Really!" They were not changing their expression. "Twilight!"

"You probably didn't mean any harm in it."

"See?!" Daffodil waved at Twilight desperately.

"But... that was still definitely spying." Twilight shrugged softly. "Sorry, can't deny what it was."

"No..." Daffodil shrank, but still walked. "Are you going to torture me and toss me in a ditch somewhere?"

Applejack hiked a brow with an aborted laugh. "Fun as that sounds, whataya think we are, bandits? Still ponies, last ah checked."

Skyline looked over the top of Daffodil. "Hm... yeah, looks like a pony."

Applejack thumped against Daffodil hard enough to send her crashing into Skyline, knocking them both off balance at once. "Cut it out. We ain't gonna hurt ya, Daffodil. Yer a friend, las' ah knew. Now... what were you plannin' on tellin' her that we weren't gonna anyway?"

"Not much..." Daffodil caught her steps and started forward with sullen motions. "We agree, that place sucks. We can't go there! I mean, we could, but we don't want to! Seems like a bad place we don't want."

"One thing." All the ponies looked to Stan. "Jus' sayin', that vault still has a lot of parts in it, likely, if you could get past the small army of robots that'd rather you not take it."

Twilight raised a hoof to adjust her glasses. "The goods we could get to do not outweigh the costs and risks of..." She halted and turned her head to peer at Stan. "Hm."

"Ah done heard that 'hm' before!" Stan threw up a hand. "An' ah doubt you have the caps to buy me for that job."

Applejack drew her hat down. "Hey. Wouldn't let you go out on that without me."

Giddyup turned his whole head towards Applejack with a merry whinny. "You are a good pony. It will be a pleasure to continue having your company."

"I didn't say yes!" Stan stuffed his hands in his pants pockets as he stormed forward. "'Sides, up to that Overmare of yours if that's even a thin', which it may not be. Don't think she likes havin' a human around anyway."





Overmare Mare sneezed into her morning tea. "Excuse me..." She hadn't felt a cold coming on, hm... "I'd better watch out. Somepony has to keep an eye on things.





The further they got away from the robots, the more relaxed they became. The danger was well behind them. A bullet flew past Stan's ear, dangerously close to his head. "Shit!" He ducked down and rose his gun up.

Applejack was already taking shots, driving the bandit into the cover of some trees. "Get back here, ya dang varmint. Can't take two steps before someone's tryin' to take yer things!"

Twilight's horn glowed with a threat of arcane fury, the runes along it shimmering in readiness. "Where are they?"

Skyline was nowhere to be seen, though his steps could be heart rapidly retreating into the small forest with crunches of leaves. "Ha!" He jumped around a tree with a sword coming down. "Ach!" He was a skilled combatant, but the pistol was ready to shoot and caught him in the side in a spray of blood just a moment before his sword cut into the arm holding it, sending it to the ground, though this didn't heal the wound he had gotten in the process. "Damnit..."

The bandit shoved Skyline back roughly, wrenching out a second pistol. "Picked a fight with the wrong guy!" He raised the pistol even with Skyline's face. "Say good ni--" He stagered forward, a smoking hole through the center of his chest, burned shut in the blast. "Shit..." He could barely get that out, struggling to breathe as he was. "Damn..."

"Got one!" Twilight was, perhaps, too excited about going her part. "Are there others?"

Applejack advanced carefully. "Bandits love comin' in packs, so don't let yer guard down." A sharp retort made both ponies jump.

Stan had fired into the forest. "I saw one dashing. Not sure if I caught 'em or not. We ain't safe just yet."

Giddyup was advancing much the same way that Skyline had gone. "I will assist." He made it past the tree to see Skyline digging out a medical hypo in shaking hands. "Please remain still!" He hurried up to administer his healing kiss, or nuzzle, depending on how one looked at the situation.