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// Good and Bad days 
// Story: The memoirs of Princess Brighter Skies 
// by Disembodied_Pony 
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Those were turbulent days for me, back then.

My mood swinging from; 
 Having intense drive to get the access I needed and get past it,
to days of being completely inert.
One day I was learning how the navigation sensors functioned with fervor, and the next; 
curled into a ball sobbing for the entire day.  Wishing I had met the same fate as the rest of the crew and passengers.

Between distracting myself with tasks at hand, and being overwhelmed with the crushing loneliness and the immensity of what I was trying to accomplish...  I lashed out often, at everything around me.

It was madness, sheer madness.

It was fortunate that I was a powerless human at the time.  Had I been a unicorn then, I would have begun tearing everything around me apart, and not stopping till I pierced the hull...

I did my best to keep the turbulence at bay.  Having the computer play performances, songs, novels, anything that would fill the silence.  Even having them play in the background at low volume while I slumbered.

I also took to talking to the command processor to fill the need for any kind of interaction.
Though after hearing one too many: 

-Please rephrase the question-


I took to threatening the computer with what I was going to do to it's personality once I gained access.
However it didn't care.  It wasn't an AI, not even close.  In fact such technologies were universally banned.  A precedence I still hold to this day with my ponies.

Even remembering how it was then, puts me in a poor mind to this day.  Sometimes it comes out in unexpected ways.

As the months dragged on, I learned how to trick and train my mind into being able to function in isolation, and without the madness taking hold of me.

It was a slow progress, on all fronts.

Working my way into becoming a recognized crew member; My access to the other decks was unlocked, though still quite limited.

Rising to the rank of an acting-Ensign; I finally had the proficiency to perform basic medical checkups upon myself as well.  However some parts of the results were still beyond my comprehension...  which would become a very important matter, later.

In gaining access to the logs as an Ensign, I pieced together what had happened to the ship while I was asleep, and a little bit about the world I was in orbit of.

In hindsight, being awarded the rank of Ensign did my psyche an immense amount of good, more than I even realized at the time.  Answers began to come, which I was sorely needing.





My Sure Shot came to visit me like he does every week, things went on as they usually do when we're together.  We visited our favorite places, caught each other up on the last week's events, and amused each other in the usual and mundane ways.


Only in hindsight can I tell how much I've changed from the human I used to be.

Comparing my memories from my early days to now, it was like I was asleep.  My life then comparatively bland, like seeing things without colors.

When I grew into my new form, my brain chemistry changed somewhat.  The levels of empathy and sociability increased by folds.

I had to train myself even more in dealing with the isolation I had to put myself through.  I supposed it was the herd instinct mentality; As I was often feeling vulnerable, being by myself?

Even though my mind had rewired somewhat, I was still sure of who I was.

Though, at the same time, I'd be a little embarrassed to meet my past self now.  I know my old self would have trouble acknowledging me, the way I am when I'm with Shot.

Unexpected impulses take hold, and I become a different creature altogether, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

It's difficult to reconcile sometimes.


Seeing my mate off; back to Equestria at the visitors center, I flew back to my palace.

Already, I missed him.





The next day during court, I thought about how frightening it was to subject myself to the genetic alterations.

The only thing that got me to perform it, was the alternative.  An anticlimactic end just felt insulting, considering everything I'd already been through, and put myself through.

I did however I put it off as long as I could, while I went over my data and research... over and over again.  

Programming every single contingency I could think of should the unexpected come to pass.

A couple of the contingencies saved my new flanks as it turned out:

I technically ceased living during the procedure; My respiration and heartbeat stopping on two different occasions while parts of my brain restructured...  
The life support systems taking over as programmed to do, until my body could do it again on its own.

Then there was the horrifying realization that I couldn't consciously move any of my muscles when I awoke, even my eye lids.  

I would have starved to death had I not considered the possibility, and also chose to try addressing it, to give myself a chance. 

I did by setting up the musculature training system beforehand; To give me very mild shocks in individual muscles, over and over, until my brain made the connections.

It was unpleasant, but better than the alternative.

Again, it was the pathways in my brain that needed time to reform, and reconnect things to my conscious mind.   

As well as connect the things that I didn't have before;
Wing muscles, tail muscles, ear musculature control, and of course; a couple of fun ones that I had to figure out I now had control of.

Afterwards, there were the dietary considerations; Figuring out exactly which foods Didn't agree with my new equine digestive system.

I won't go into detail of Estrus right now.  Sufficed to say; Alicorns Do experience it, even alien ones like me.  And, it's a wonderfully horrible double edged blade when alone.





Before all that,

I was spending an increasing number of hours each day on the table, having my remaining good cells stimulated to divide to replace the damaged ones.

Since my cells and DNA weren't native to this universe;  They had no protection nor ability to coexist with the latent energy that was present everywhere here: The 'magic'.

In short, since I wasn't a living magical creature, the universe treated my body as if it were dead tissue.  Breaking it down constantly, as microorganisms would do in my old universe.

Finally, it was zero hour.  I had reached the point of no return with cellular regeneration.

Medical science had given me much needed time, and a stay of, well, crumbling to death... But it wouldn't keep me together and going any longer.  Too many cells in my body had already had it's DNA broken apart, and they wouldn't divide anymore.

It was either; take the plunge now, or the end.

Realizing that I might never wake up from this procedure; I asked that whatever power had brought me here; watch over me once more.
Laying down on the medical bed, I took a deep breath and tapped 'initiate programmed procedure'

From that point I was placed into a coma, so I wouldn't have to experience what was about to be done.

The DNA swap would go quickly and easy enough.  Taken from a coma, to stasis, and back again into a coma, while every cell had a DNA-slight-of-hand done to it.
By that point, I was technically a pony in a way, though my physical form was almost indistinguishable from before.

Some things would have slowly changed on their own: skin texture, existing hair follicles changing the hairs' thickness and color.  Soft tissues changing slightly.  Nothing drastic, but at least I wouldn't simply crumble anymore at that point.

The gruesome part was yet to come:  Cell-by-cell transplantation, and the replication of calcium-based lattices, and openwork; For my new muzzle, teeth, legs and hooves, wings..

When I learned about this, it made me queasy.  In one way; It was like wearing away at stone with water, where in another; It was like a blender.

Parts of me, would be going through a cell-by-cell blender.  Sensitive parts...