//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 - The Trotting Dead // Story: Six Hoof Under // by Dr Gluefoot //------------------------------// “Now everypony, if you would please listen to me as I believe this may be a perfect opportunity for us to learn how to coordinate effectively,” Zequa calmly spoke as another blood-curdling whinnoar echoed into the campsite. Clearing his throat, he began to bark out orders. “Alrighty then, here’s what we’re gonna do. Scoutabout, you find out their numbers and any escape routes; any more than three and we run. When you’re done with that I want you to stick in the sky and keep an eye out for anything that comes at us.” Scoutabout fluttered her wings in response. Pointing his hoof towards his left, he barked, “Longrange, you keep to the back and hold your fire until my command. Maregyver, dampen the fire enough so it’s not a beacon for Them, but bright enough for us to see clearly.” Tilting his head to the fallen tree to his right, he continued. “You and Gluefoot can then set up some fortifications in a twenty hoof radius around us with bits from the tree. I want Maregyver on the left flank and Gluefoot in the centre when you’re done. I’ll handle the right,” Zequa flicked his tail at the locations he referred to as he spoke as Maregyver nodded, her face a stoic mask. Dr. Gluefoot yawned and started to balance a rusty scalpel on his horn. “Hoof-to-Hoof, break the tree for them where it’s too large to move and help set up the barricades. Then I want you at the front. Tippy, go to the centre with Gluefoot and get ready to run if I tell you to.” Tippy saluted while giggling and dangling her tongue out of the corner of her mouth before tumbling towards Dr. Gluefoot, while Hoof-to-Hoof grunted in acknowledgment. “Why should we be listening to you, freak?” Longrange sneered, “If anyone should be in charge, it’s me. Then we can easily take on more than a dozen of Them.” “I once decapitated someone when taking their temperature,” Dr. Gluefoot replied without so much as a blink, “Do you really think it was an accident like I wrote in my report? The zebra’s plan is adequate for studying our combat prowess in order to maximise the chances of survival.” “What’s that supposed to mean‽ Are you looking for a piece of this‽” “Shut up and listen to the zebra. I’ll take off a chunk later if I want to.” “Shut it both of you,” snapped Zequa. Looking up, he addressed Scoutabout. “Why are you still here? Time’s wasting.” “Yes Zequa of course I’ll go right away I’ll be back faster than you can say ‘where has Scoutabout got to?’ I remember this one time I saw Rainbow Dash in Cloudsdale and she was flying really fast and I was almost able to catch up with her but then I had to stop because I remembered that I forgot to clean my room for the year and I was going to be in a lot of trouble and...” “GO!” “Okay I’m going now,” Scoutabout blurted as she flew off, invisible against the night sky. Maregyver looked up from dampening the fire and asked “Where has Scoutabout got t-“ “Back guys there’s two of Them about three minutes away and three escape routes that I can see and I can’t see any of Them that are coming from behind.” “We’re gonna need those fortifications now,” Zequa called out. “Sure thing sweet... Zequa,” Maregyver corrected herself, her face turning a bright red. Flipping out a screwdriver, drill bit and saw from her horn, she scrunched up her face and emitted a glow from her horn in stripes of grey, ocean grey and military grey. The same glow surrounded screws which flew out of her saddlebags and sections of the tree as they proceeded to assemble into barricades where the tree previously stood. “Hoof-to-Hoof, can you put these in position around us?” “Sure thing,” He responded as he started pushing the barricades into place, “Buck that’s heavy.” Two minutes later, Hoof-to-Hoof finished pushing the last barricade into place as Dr. Gluefoot finished the last bite of an apple he had pulled from his saddlebags. “Good work everybody. That was some nice teamwork,” Dr. Gluefoot said, wiping his mouth clear, “Let’s get into our positions now and take care of my mistakes. I mean these mistakes.” “SsssnnnoooooooooooAAAAAARRRRRRLLLLLLLLL!!!!” A horrendous snort thundered as a pair of dronies emerged from the shadows, ending in a guttural snarl from lips of rotting scale. Covered in armour-like scales, larger than Roid Rage on a good day and more horribly shaped than a soufflé at a Vinyl Scratch gig, their necks glowed a sickly orange colour and occasionally spouted jets of flame. The first drony that emerged had a vein of orange leading from its neck to the left eye socket, where it had a continuous jet of flame emerging instead of an eye. The one following a short distance behind it had a bright red nose and a white, dusty face. “B-b-bu-buck that’s scary,” Hoof-to-Hoof stuttered as the dronies came into view. The rest of the string, except for Dr. Gluefoot and Tippy, stumbled over their words before simply grunting in agreement. Dr. Gluefoot levitated a clipboard and quill in front of him, straightening his glasses with his hoof while repeatedly flipping the scalpel he was balancing on his horn. Tippy was perfectly content trying to lick her left eyeball. “As soon as they pass the barriers, let them have it,” Zequa commanded, receiving a chorus of affirmative grunts and a crunch from Dr. Gluefoot as he took a bite out of another apple. Tippy began trying to lick her other eye after giving up on the first one. The one-eyed drony shambled through a gap in the barricades, earning itself a spot on the receiving end of a double-legged kick so fast that Hoof-to-Hoof’s hind hoofs were on the ground before the sound reached Tippy. The drony’s head twisted so it was facing backwards as skin covered in black scales peeled from its cracked and yellowed skull. Fire began to jet from the front of its torn neck and smoke started billowing from the cracks in the skull where it had been kicked, forcing Hoof-to-Hoof to back away or risk burns. Dr. Gluefoot scribbled notes down on his clipboard with his quill and continued to flip his scalpel, before yawning and pulling out yet another apple to eat. Tippy had given up on trying to lick her eyes and had settled down to the task of chewing a small rock. She giggled as a bubble she had blown popped, covering her face in dusty mud. Bits of dirt began to hover as Scoutabout circled the perimeter at an ever-increasing speed. Longrange levitated the arrow he was holding in his mouth and flung it straight behind him as Maregyver flicked out a saw and corkscrew from her horn. A bolt of lightning curved in the air as it passed Scoutabout and struck Tippy, crystallising the bubble she was blowing into a speckled glass orb. Dr. Gluefoot gave a curious hum as Tippy’s nose began running and the mucus sizzled as it hit the ground. He then scribbled some notes in the margins of his notes and took another bite of his apple. Maregyver’s horn began to glow grey and light brown as she stared at the one-eyed drony. Its rotting black scales were surrounded by a grey glow as they peeled themselves from the putrefying skin and crumbled. As this happened, the decaying claws on its mouldy hooves were immersed in light brown light and were filled with spiral-shaped holes before being yanked out like a bad tooth. Zequa galloped towards the drony, twisted on his front hooves and gave it a swift double-legged kick to the flank, flattening the spikes on its slightly gelatinous tails of twisted, condensed hair. He used the impact of the kick to push himself out of the range of the drony’s two sets of orange teeth. “Head’s up, Stripy!” Longrange called out as he levitated a stone and flung it at Zequa’s head. Zequa ducked as the stone flew at his face, his face a picture of fury. *Plink.* *Thud.* “This is NOT the time for horsing around!” Zequa yelled as something small landed on his head, “OW! A stone? What the Ponyville?” “Watch and learn, Stripy.” An arrow flew down from the sky, passing through the hole in the head of the drony and impacting the bottom of the skull with enough force to tear its head off, causing two small explosions on the stumps of the neck. Longrange then scrunched up his face as his horn and the arrow were surrounded by a white glow as the arrow disappeared and reappeared in the air beside him. “Wow,” Zequa stated in a shocked monotone, “I don’t know whether to thank you or feed you to these Things. You nearly killed me.” “I didn’t aim for you. You got in the way; I had to do something.” "Son of a mule! This is NOT the bucking time for your manure!” Hoof-to-Hoof yelled, “There were two of Them, remember‽” Dr. Gluefoot shook his quill a few times and scribbled on Tippy, magically plucking a feather from Scoutabout’s left wing after the quill was worn down to dust. Scoutabout began to protest until he gave her a blank look, stopping her from speaking. He gave a flick of his head and his scalpel embedded itself in the eye of the drony. He then surrounded the head and scalpel in a blood red glow and floated them towards himself while stirring the contents of the eye socket. He cut the feather he had taken by running it between the teeth of the drony, dipped the point in the eye socket and continued taking notes. As the second drony advanced through the barricades, Hoof-to-Hoof froze and started to softly whimper. Longrange screamed and flung his arrow at the drony. It curved in the air and passed through the drony’s rainbow-coloured mane, circling around and hitting Zequa in the haunch. “Sweetie! I mean Zequa. Are you okay?” Maregyver cried as she galloped to his side, “Doctor, we need you over here!” “Huh? What?” Dr. Gluefoot asked as he scribbled notes down about the drony. After finishing his apple and thinking for a moment, he addressed them. “Does this mean I can get the antibodies I’ve been after? I’ve got to start getting the raw materials again, you know. You have no idea how hard it was to get the blood from that dragon in Ponyville.” “Yes, it would be difficult. That’s not important at the moment, though. Zequa’s been hit.” “Actually, it was easy. I made Celestia realise how much better it would be for me to spend my time treating him than for me to give Luna a demonstration of surgical techniques. It’s going to be a lot harder now that he’s dead...ish.” “Very nice, but Zequa’s got an arrow in him.” “Fine, I’m coming.” Putting his clipboard and quill in his saddlebags, he continued, “Stay here Tippy. Scoutabout, keep an eye out and don’t come down here. Longrange, remove that arrow and clean it. It’s a good thing most zebras are immune to this plague.” Scoutabout wiped her forehead in relief at not having to get involved as Dr. Gluefoot trotted over to Zequa and Maregyver. Longrange scrunched up his face and retrieved his arrow before going to wipe it clean on Scoutabout’s saddlebags. Tippy was too preoccupied with chasing her tail to pay attention to what was happening. Dr. Gluefoot started to treat Zequa’s wound while the second drony advanced on Hoof-to-Hoof. Hoof-to-Hoof backed away from it slowly and let out whinnies in a somewhat-controlled panic. Tippy stopped chasing her tail as she heard this, looking over at her older brother and the drony. Her eyes grew wide and started to shine at what she saw. She broke into a huge grin as the two circles of light illuminated the scene in front of her. “YAY! Play time!” Tippy yelled as she started running towards the pair and leapt with her front legs spread out to deliver a tackling hug. “No Tippy! Don’t!” Hoof-to-Hoof cried out as his sister sailed through the air, “That’s dangerous!” *CRUNCH!* *RIIIIIP!* *SNAP!* Vertebrae shattered as Tippy wrapped her front legs around the neck of the one that brought her so much joy throughout her life and made her laugh when she thought about her parents. Flesh ripped and tendons snapped from the impact and force of Tippy swinging around the broken neck while giggling. She then let go from the hug and dropped to the ground, still giggling with her eyes shining. Hoof-to-Hoof slumped over and didn’t move or make a sound. The drony let out a snoarl and kept advancing. Tippy kept giggling as the drony reached out its head and bit her on the neck. Its grey, draconic teeth began to grind against her hide, getting worn down to dust as it moved its jaw back and forth. The row of pony teeth behind the first row took longer to wear down, causing Tippy’s giggles to turn into fits of laughter and tears. “It tickles! It tickles!” Tippy laughed with tears rolling down her face. She fell to the ground and started rolling on the ground laughing, the drony still gnawing at her hide. I faint groaning sound came from Hoof-to-Hoof. “Get of my sister.” The drony stopped gnawing Tippy when its teeth were gone and shot a jet of fire which engulfed her. Tippy continued rolling around and laughing as Hoof-to-Hoof started to stir. “Get off my sister.” The drony began to claw at Tippy’s underside while breathing fire on her. Hoof-to-Hoof slowly stood up as the claws began to wear away. “I SAID GET THE BUCK OFF MY SISTER!” Hoof-to-Hoof bellowed as he charged towards the drony and pivoted on his front legs. “YOU’RE NOT FUNNY!” he thundered as he performed another impossibly fast, doubled-legged kick that scooped up Tippy before impacting the drony’s nose. A loud honk sounded from the nose before the head was torn off the heavily-damaged neck as a flaming Tippy passed through the space it was occupying. Flesh peeled itself away from the drony’s skull as it and Tippy shot across the sky in a ball of fire and out of site. “Tippy always did love clowns,” Hoof-to-Hoof called to Scoutabout as he watched Tippy fly off, “Never saw why though... Bucking creepy mare-buckers if you ask me.” “I agree with you there Hoofy,” Scoutabout blurted as she circled around to watch Tippy’s flight, “Clowns are really weird and creepy and I don’t know why anypony likes them and I think we should tell Gluefoot about what Tippy did to the drony when he wasn’t looking and she just landed but you should know that she’s still on fire and you should talk to Gluefoot about if you have any burns I can’t see any dronies around at the moment so we may be able to get some more rest if you and Zequa need it before we move on if the barricades are pulled in to make a wall because we all could use a rest.” “You shouldn’t put too much weight on your leg for a while, as it will exacerbate your injury,” Dr. Gluefoot advised Zequa as he finished stitching up the wound with magic, “There will be some scarring unfortunately. This will let people know that your special talent is to get shot.” “I feel that I must thank you for providing me with medical care, if it were not for the fact that it took you five attempts to close the wound that you opened further with your magic,” Zequa replied, “Your comment was also humourless and quite insulting.” “Hay Doc, Tippy did something to the drony,” Hoof-to-Hoof called out as a giggling ball of fire ran into the camp, “You should come see this.” Dr. Gluefoot walked over to where Hoof-to-Hoof was watching Tippy cuddle the smoking remains of the drony she had decapitated and pulled out his clipboard and quill. He then started taking notes on the damage to the drony. After a minute of taking notes, he spoke to nobody in particular. “I will require somebody to tell me why Tippy is on fire and has a skull on her head.” Scoutabout plummeted to the ground and landed in front of Dr. Gluefoot. Ten seconds later, she had given him an incredibly detailed explanation of what had transpired. Dr. Gluefoot took an apple from his saddlebag and took a bite as he thought about what had happened. “I wonder where I get all these apples from... I didn’t have any when I looked this afternoon... I’m not sure what to say about that. When I examined Tippy, her skin made my scalpel crumple so badly that I had to straighten it between her teeth. When I performed the autopsy on patient 0, its scales got dented by the hatchet before it cracked and I needed a new one.” “YOU worked on Pony 0‽ That’s cool and all Gluefoot but that just makes me wonder how this all happened if it was locked up before it could spread it and cause Equestria to go to Tartarus then how did that stick us surviving for the last six years in constant fear because Celestia and Luna had to turn everypony trying to get to Canterlot away after it reached capacity do you know why that is?” "Have you ever tried to perform open heart surgery on an unanaesthetised patient with a drony gnawing at your coat‽ Mistakes were made by all... Mostly me, but if the phrenologist hadn't fallen asleep on guard duties I wouldn't have had to harvest his organs for medical purposes, now, would I‽" "Well, at least some good comes out of his death," Hoof-to-Hoof nervously said in order to reassure himself. "Yes... Dead. He was dead when I harvested the organs.” Dr. Gluefoot avoided the gaze of the other ponies and ate the rest of his apple. “So that's why you've got a bucking bonesaw on your flank!" "At least it's not in yours," Dr. Gluefoot calmly stated as he pulled a heart out of his bag and took a bite, “Why have I kept this for six years‽ It’s good. I should stock up on these.” “Why the buck did you keep a heart for that long and why did you choose to eat it NOW‽” “I felt like it. Tippy, why haven’t you taken that skull off your head yet?” “There’s something gooey in the bone here,” Tippy’s voice echoed from the skull, “It smells funny and not like the smart goo.” “Tippy, that’s marrow.” “Marrow? Ack! Marrow? Ack!” “Thank you for that Tippy. Because of you I’m now thinking about orphaned animals. Take off the skull and we’ll get some rest.” Dr. Gluefoot turned to Hoof-to-Hoof and asked, “Do you want me to take a look at your feet?” “Fine. I don’t have much of a bucking choice, do I‽” Hoof-to-Hoof responded bitterly. “No, you don’t. Now I’m going to examine you.” Tippy wandered over to the campfire and lay down on top of it. Seconds later, her soft snores were amplified by the bone surrounding her head. “Don’t worry Zequa,” Maregyver reassured Zequa as she scanned her surroundings and noticed Tippy sleeping, “I’ll make something for you to help with that wound.” Turning to Dr. Gluefoot, she called out, “Let’s fortify this place for tonight. I have an idea that I need your help with.”