//------------------------------// // 204. Museum Mess. // Story: Baa-Ram-Ewe! // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -Equus, Ponyville, Silver Stream- “We should hang out more often, I’m kind of surprised we don’t do it enough.” Today I was spending time with Sandbar, it was a rare occasion despite the fact that we were friends and we knew each other pretty well. While I still miss Smolder and Ocellus, they wouldn’t want us to focus on them to the point of absurdity. Pinkie will take care of the party when they come back, because I doubt there will be an ‘if’ at all since Tianhuo says Pom is far stronger than she looks. “Photography is really quite interesting.” “Yeah, I’ve been learning bird watching on the side with Snickers, that turtle dove I’m learning to speak bird and turtle from. She helps me with finding good spots to watch birds quietly.” Sandbar wasn’t the only being I was hanging out with there were also our two new friends and fresh faces at Twilight’s school of friendship. Pique the storm creature spoke up and made a gesture to point at a picture of a baby bunny. Niche went next showing us a picture of a majestic Roc. Griffonstone mail delivery griffon Gabby was also here and she was showing us pictures of her travels. I had a picture of a three horned bunyip to show off, it was kind of hard to get pictures of anything underwater, I should get a few pictures of Mt. Aris at least. “Isn’t Snickers the familiar of Jaded La Perm?” Familiars tend to reflect the personalities of their bonded partner. “Yeah, but she’s as sweet as can be, don’t honestly why she bonded to someone like Jaded… not that Jade is evil, but she is causing most of the current chaos that’s driving Princess Twilight nuts.” Oh you don’t even know the half of it Sandbar, there was that letter Jade sent to Aunt Novo that cause all kinds of weird responses. My aunt still won’t tell anyone what Jade wrote, just that it was utterly embarrassing and she has problems looking Celestia in the face. “Discord has been acting jealous about it and he feels like he needs to step up his game.” “Jealous, who’s jealous?” Discord wasn’t even here a second ago and he appears before us looking like he was made of macaroni art. “I’m not jealous, if anything she’s the jealous one trying to one up me in being chaotic neutral at the best of times!” “… Baast.” Curiousity had taken grip of me as I stated her name, a wide eyed Discord immediately disappeared before something crashed into the ground where Discord had been leaving a small crater filled with cheese and the pink goddess of flail-tails, the hidden sphinx herself looking around. “Aww… why won’t Discord let me love him like the masculine sea horse he is? I know he has a problem with commitment and everything, but I’m willing to commit to him in every way imaginable since I’m just that insane!” They say if you say Baast’s name in the presence of Discord, then she’ll know exactly where he is. I just confirmed that for myself, yay for me! “You can’t run from me forever ‘Chaos the blue’! The goddess of life will find a way and I’m even willing to share you with that pretty and adorable pegasus friend of yours!” “Wow… I’m kind of surprised they didn’t notice me here.” A blushing Fluttershy stated as she held up a picture. “Anyway, this is a picture of my friend Fred the Demon Book. He’s not so bad even if he is really scary looking, he’s really good at macramé… though I really wish he would stop making it out of his demonic plant enemies that won’t stop screaming after being turned into macramé sculptures.” Fluttershy had some of the weirdest friends in existence. -Earth, Saint Canard, museums third floor medieval art exhibit, Dormarch- My world exploded with understanding once I safely got Pom down, away from the still active blood circle and out of the painting. There was the blood of several duck, dog, frog and squirrel bipeds, there was oddly a scorpion mixed in there too. I didn’t want to think about if the people that made the circle were alive or not. Hopefully it was just stolen blood bags from the hospital. I had to first unlock the neck collar, I didn’t want to accidentally hang Pom by getting her legs free first, and I got one of her front legs free afterwards. This was followed by her hind legs and her last front leg slowly being freed up as we maneuvered the chains out of the way. We managed to get out of the painting without issue afterwards. As soon as we exited the painting Pom wrapped me up in her hooves gently and pulled me close and tight, her wool rubbing up against my digital fur softly. Her right hoof started petting my tails and felt at peace with her, I could even hear her heartbeat since my right ear was on her chest. My understanding was of life, since I could feel the love for me radiating off of Pom like the sun as she held me close. “Uh… Pom… we kind of still need to deal with Splatter Phoenix downstairs.” I stated quietly, despite the fact that I really didn’t want to move from my position or for Pom to stop stroking her hoof over my three wagging fur covered fish tails. “Dolly and Shanty just got out of danger." That Pom was even relaxed was a miracle in and of itself, considering I can still get scan data from the PET despite my being manifested outside the device. "They'll chase Splatter phoenix this way, we have some time.” “Not much, you might want to get on that as De Ville’s are tricky customers when you are dealing with the nasty ones.” Spot was still on call and I hoped that wasn’t costing us too much, we kind of needed her expertise on this world’s magic at the moment. “Ninety percent of that family is rotten by design through cunning instances of trying to kill off each other in an admittedly endearing manner for them. My suggestion is leave nothing to chance and go for a swift direct takedown, if not outright try to kill this one because of how dangerous she is. She’s a true threat to everyone in her general vicinity if she’s as powerful as I think she is, especially given you’re location possibly being where she’s at her most powerful.” “Yeah, kind of figured that when she brought statues to life with only a flick of her paintbrush.” There were also the Pom like monsters she created which were terrifying versions of what Pom would be like if she were a werewolf. “Fighting through the prehistoric exhibit was particularly nasty.” “Going to call it now. Splatter Phoenix can feasibly use paintings for moving about, given she managed to put you inside one. I’m fairly sure she’s at the mercy of becoming a part of the of a paintings given theme while moving through them, though some paintings might not affect her much like the dungeon painting.” After a moment of silence, Spot then added on. “There could be some paintings that are a detriment to her abilities, but I seriously suggest that you avoid any paintings of kaiju if they are around.” “Noted, I’m sure Dormarch can tell me something about those.” Pom said quietly while lifting me up and onto her back. “Come on Dormarch, let’s go meet up with the others. I’m somewhat rested and ready to get back into this rather stressful day... also I have an idea as to where Negaduck is from all this, but we need to deal with Splatter first before we can go after him. Did Jitters say anything else Dormarch?” “Well…” Looking at the all the art, I had an idea. I wonder if we'll have time to do it? "Pom we need to..." -Shanty- We be stepping out of the dimension of staircases onto the top the staircase to see Splatter Phoenix looking a bit pale. “Splatter Phoenix, that was being pretty tiring, but we still be having enough energy to deal with the likes of you!” Barking alongside me in agreement despite being tired herself, Dolly seemingly looked past Splatter at the ceiling, then grinned. Pom is being good then. “You’d think so, but I still have plenty of ammo all around me!” Splatter slashed her paintbrush at a painting and leapt in it, then we see she moved along the paintings one after the other into the room ahead. “After her, we’re not letting her get away with this madness!” Quackerjack be leading the charge. When we be at the entrance to the room, we saw Splatter Phoenix leaning against the wall on the far side of the room and I could vaguely see the pirate exhibit next door. This was all the ninja stuff wasn’t it? This wasn’t the exhibit I wanted to be in! “My minute-taur could use some avenging.” Splatter Phoenix be taking a step to the left and leaning back until she felling into the painting behind her and was now wearing strange suit in a painting of the moon with bamboo everywhere, she slowly put a straw hat on her head. “Ninja’s are specialist in stealth. Thus you have to wonder, what exactly did I do in this room while you were busy with the minute-taur? Come into my parlor, find out.” Splatter Phoenix reached into her weird suit and then threw something. Said things be shooting out of the painting lightning fast and I be ducking back from the doorway as multiple blade handled paint brushes be flying past blade first with specks of paint trailing behind them and striking multiple things in the room. Splatter then be stepping out of sight from the frame of the painting grinning. I be stepping forward only to get a left paw to my chest and some barking from Dolly. “Yes, I be aware that it be a trap. We be needing to trip it and make her keep throwing her energy at us, the less energy she has by trying to deal with us. The easier things will be being on Leap Lamb when she gets around to fighting her.” I patted Dolly on the head with my right hoof. “We just need to be surviving.” Dolly looked to me and nodded removing her paw from my chest and while grabbing at her board with her right paw. “You go ahead, I need to go through a janitor’s closet for something, not that I’ll have many more needs…” Quackerjack be sounding sad when he whispered that and be looking to his toy, Mr. Banana Brain, fondly. “That’s right Mr. Banana Brain, maybe Leap Lamb will do us a small favor when... well now, let’s see, we just need some turpentine. Good thing this is an art museum!” Quackerjack be running off again, but he has been helpful so far when given a chance. What would he be doing this time though? He only be having a few things left to fight with, but we be having Splatter Phoenix’s attention as we be standing outside the room. “Let’s go Dolly.” I said with a firm stare as I stepped forward into the room without a hint of fear. “So you have chosen death.” Splatter Phoenix does not be knowing us very well. “If you think you can be killing us, then you be having another thing coming!” I said as I spread out my legs. Might actually use Fleet Cunning Doe style. Pom be using a variety of styles and I be learning quite a bit about how they all worked quite well. Cow Kempo and Fleet Cunning Doe be my favorites, I be having the muscle for it to be all part of my Cut-Lash style. I not be very good at jumping very high, but I making up for it by being able to climb and spring off of walls. Instead of dodging, I changed my mind and pulled my unopened bottle of rum as I went to stand on my hind legs and twirled it to be deflecting every knife that flew at me. I be needing the energy for all this. I leapt up and kicked them all back where they came from, I hit two hiding ninja in their heads and pinned three others with their own weapons. “When the night light yields to that of blue, when there’s nothing more that a goat can do~. Don’t get your rocks off with my spirits, because I’m going to take you down while singing off brand lyrics~!” As I sang I started tap dancing to the bench and stomped on the end sending it up and catching a lot of knife stars in the bottom of it, I tilted my head to Dolly and she sent the bench flying with a kick of her board and it be impaling three hiding ninjas against the far wall from the entrance we came through... after shattering several displays. “I always drink my demons straight to hell, to the point that none of them have won so far as well~. I’ll wipe this floor in victory, because I’ll never puke up the rum that’s mine to keep~!” Dolly and I be shooting into the room together, I deflected a katana with a hoof before breaking the ninja ducks neck with hard slap of my bottle of rum. That not even be a real ninja weapon! Though I be knowing ninjas would be using anything to win a fight, these weren’t being classically trained ninjas. Real ninjas don’t rush in with numbers. That just ends horribly for ninjas! I popped the cork off the bottle deflect a ninja knife that I be kicking into a nearby painting, then Splatter Phoenix be coming flying out of another painting with the knife in her right shoulder. “Ugh… damn it! Take them down!” She be retreating towards the pirate exhibit as several more pajama wearing figures be appearing from out of nowhere, I grinned as I slung the bottle back and be taking a large gulp. Dolly be tripping up a few of the guys that be running towards me with raised swords by sliding her skateboard forward and the strap pulled taut, it didn’t bend when they be tripping over it. It gave me time to deflect a tanto, now that be much more ninja like! I not be here to fight ninjas though, I be wanting to face the pirates! I snapped the blade with my second hoof swing and leapt up to scythe my right leg through the thinnest part of their torso splitting the bloody paint monster in two. Ninja be having specialized diets and be glass cannons, while I be having far more muscle! “As we fly, we both like to twirl~.” Dolly sung as she flew through the area knocking multiple ninja down as she went. “This will definitely not be our deaths upon this world~!” As I spun and lashed out my left hind leg deflecting several blades, the duck ninjas be looking on in shock as I leapt and ripped both the arms off one of them with one flip using only my right hind leg. “If this is to be a trial by fire, then we’ll certainly be able to take on a whole mire~.” “I chase cars and rubber chickens I do chew, but this is a fight and so it’ll do… we’ll break them all so we can continue~.” Dolly be raising her paw high after she be breaking the skull of an armor statue without a helmet. “I currently am quite the salty dog, hope this ‘De Ville’ goes back to heck where she belongs~!” Gripping her paw, Dolly filled several spots in the room with green swirls sending bits of art flying everywhere violently. It be a grand mess and I be happy to add to it so we can be getting to the pirates! I be hitting another bench to leap up and be hoof springing off the raised end to windmill through the mess destroying several ninja and plenty of priceless artwork too! Not that I be caring about any of it, because I only be here to save Pom… and fight pirates... if I can even be getting to that. “I’ll be a pirate queen, a scourge to many a thing~!” I sang as grabbed an arm of a charging ninja and lifted my rear end to buck the one trying to stab me from behind before using the buck to launch my hind hooves up and forward to take the head off the one I grappled onto. “You lifeless drecks, be boring wrecks, I want to see the pirates who are more cutthroat threats~!” “You guys are going down, we own this sound~.” Dolly be sweeping low and knocking over several putting me in a position to slam my hind legs down cutting them apart, she throws her skateboard out and be deflecting a knife from my face as I be tearing a hole into another animated torso. “We might be tired with flecks of sweat, but if you think you can bring us down... then we’ll show you all before we have to jet~!” Another blast of wind be ripping through the room. -Splatter Phoenix- I went to my knees. Darn it all, I had all the cards how am I still losing to them? -Shanty- I started tap dancing while leaning around several swinging blades with a grin on my face as I took a long drink of my rum. Ah, it be hitting that spot like nothing else as I still be fighting with my other hoof while I be drinking. This is how a pirates were supposed to fight! That be when something be wrapping around my neck. “Did you just throw a rope around my neck, did you want to dance a real jig of death~?” As I say this I lashed out with my hind leg and cut the rope, my flexibility be coming into full swing. “Well let me tell you corsairs, that all you ninjas are too weak for proper spars~.” A blade be striking my bottle of rum sending up into the air and I grew angry. “If you want me to poke out your eye, then try to take my bottle of rum says I~.” I battered back several incoming blades from all sides with precise swings of my front hooves. “Now let’s all play with the destruction that I can bring~…” I held out my left hoof and then gripped as the neck of my bottle fell right into it. “I also need this bottle so I can sing~!” I took huge gulp and then, while holding some of this high octane pirate fuel in my mouth, I slapped my two hooves together and blew out. The sparks from my hooves erupted in a mass of flames as swirled in a full circle. While there were still flames in the air and I had tons of metal flying my way, I put my hoof holding the bottle to my left hip and raised my right hoof to the ceiling while bowing my head. “YA-HAR~!” I shouted to the ceiling in a bellow that shook the entire museum. The still hovering flames be blasting outwards with flaming metal in all direction, it be the biggest blast wave I ever be creating with my spirit shout. It be draining and it also be revealing a number of ninjas as their bed sheets be burning from the wave of destruction that be lighting most of the room on fire. Dolly be leaping over the flames to land next to me and we both started howling like a mad goat and a mad dog, there still be more than enough for the both of us in this room and I be wanting to see that pirate art in battle! Water started spilling from spouts in the ceiling and I be grinning brightly, as with the barest shift of my hooves tendrils of raining liquid be turning into tentacles with my subtle movement. They be in my element now and they look to be melting somewhat, I took a drag of my rum and looked to Dolly. “I be a part of the sea… it be giving my life meaning that it will always also truly be a part of me!” I slung my hooves forwards and a wave of water slammed several duck, dog and bird ninja bipeds through a wall. Not into the wall, straight through it, with a pure crashing wave of force. It be exhausting to move that much water, but I be having a lot of kick to me from my rum! Being back to back with Dolly, we be both be covered in scrapes, cuts, bruises and were bleeding, surrounded by thirty five or so still somewhat combat capable ninja and likewise things… I think one be a raccoon dog… And we be having the time of our lives! -Splatter Phoenix- Also how were those two enough to handle a room full of ninja and samurai on their own, they had to be dead tired at this point and they were still fighting with that kind of ferocity?! I just needed to bring the pirate exhibit to life to finally stop them or at least slow them down further, then I just have to take Leap Lamb… “Can you please stop that Splatter Phoenix?” That voice… I turned and saw Leap Lamb and that three tailed demon Dalmatian was with her. “I want you to come quietly, we don’t need to keep fighting. Just make this easy for me… please?” So much for using her as a hostage, but how did she escape the blood… “If you do struggle, then I hope you have a very bad day 'De Ville'.” The chicken on the device said with a friendly tone, I paled immediately. She made several clucking noises at me, with a friendly grin and I felt something going wrong with my body. “A chicken… it’s always a chicken… and this one can talk… heh hehahaha, this can’t be happening… this museum is my domain… mine to steal from… it’s all mine… every bit of art is mine to destroy how I see fit and all those who come to see my lovely destruction must pay with their blood…” I muttered loudly, before yelling out as I slashed my paint brush for the nearest bit of pirate paraphernalia. “Never, I’ll never go quietly!” -Pom- I sighed as it looks like Splatter Phoenix was starting to snap mentally, I could hear Shanty's shout and fighting in the next room. I felt out for Dolly to get a feel for how they were doing. They must have really pushed Splatter to the brink on their own, I’m actually fairly proud of them. Dolly and Shanty were doing fine apparently, despite being roughed up badly and bleeding from various numerous wounds. I can also feel Dolly being badly bruised in a nasty manner. I just had to trust them to be able to handle themselves a little while longer, while I fought Splatter Phoenix personally. “Can you not?” Dormarch tried alongside me, this’ll be my first time fighting with him at my side. Let’s see how we do together. I trusted him to do his best even if he was having problems with being manifested and other issues we may need to iron out eventually. Like how much food he might need to eat now that he was always going to be out and about, I’m not letting him sit in his device feeling lonely again without being able to touch anything real anymore!