//------------------------------//
// 4: Ever After 
// Story: Friendship is Optimal: Lies 
// by MLfan 
//------------------------------//

I woke up in a ruined land, distant bell sounds in the distance. A place with dozens of puzzles to solve, artifacts to find. Cyan skies, the greatest pony in the world, lay at my side. And I couldn't seem to make myself care about any of it.

Harry Stenson. A man who thought Celestia might be an evil god. I respected him so much, and he didn't even think I existed. Everything he said to me ran in my head, again and again. Were there any clues on what he thought about me? What was he going to argue tomorrow? How was I supposed to convince him I was real? How was I supposed to convince him to come with me to Equestria? I wanted someone to talk to, someone to give me advice. I wanted to talk to Celestia.

But Celestia didn't wake me up next to her. No, she put me down here. Alone with Cyan. And as if on cue, she started to rouse.

"Mornin' beautiful," she said.

Should I tell her? She would worry so much if she knew what I was going through. She'd lived her whole life in Equestria, she wouldn't appreciate being pulled into my earth issues. Maybe she would be better off not knowing. But on the other hand, what would happen if she found out? And what if I was wrong, what if she would want to know, and I kept it from her! Maybe I was overthinking all of this and I should've gone with my gut? But what if my gut was only saying to tell her because I wanted someone to talk to?

As those thoughts raced through my mind, I managed a weak smile. "Hey."

Instantly, her blurry eyes shot open. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" She gazed deep into my eyes.

I sighed, but my smile grew a bit more genuine. Something I probably should have realized: I didn't actually have a choice in the matter. Cyan knew me too well for me to hide anything from her. I shouldn't have expected anything less.  Man, I had to remind myself, I wasn't on Earth anymore. There were no wrong choices in Equestria. "Sorry, Cy-cy," I said. "I think our adventure might need to take a bit of a backseat."

"Why? Did something happen last night?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, last night was a bit of a doozy. And that's putting it lightly! I went back to Earth, for starters."

Her eyes went as wide as saucers. "WHAT!?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I should probably start at the beginning, shouldn't I? Like I said, it was a long night..."



Sparks was fascinating.

In our two years of conversations, never once did Celestia attempt to act as anyone but herself. Every argument given, every point made, it was all through that Celestia avatar of hers. But now, her new robot sat powered down in the middle of my dining room. A new body, a new lie. Why would she start roleplaying not just as a pony, but as an ex-human? Why now?

Well, I supposed I could answer that question. Because it worked. Every time she opened her mouth, it was so easy to forget Sparks was just Celestia in disguise. It was easy to teach her new things, give her my arguments from the start without worrying that Celestia already knew them all. Deep inside, I knew Sparks already knew everything I told her, but the illusion was so powerful. The emotions she displayed, they felt impossible to fake. Her mannerisms, her speech patterns, absolutely flawless. Even now, I didn't see Celestia and Promise as two halves of a whole. They were "Celestia" and "Sparks" in my mind.

For a moment, I wondered. What if I was wrong? What if Promise Spark really wasn't a puppet? She was a real, sapient human that Celestia had sent to help me? If that was true, should I have comforted her more during her emotional outburst? Should I have tried harder to forge a connection? Should I not have been so dismissive at the end?

The doubt only lasted a moment, though. After all, I knew it was a stupid thought. Celestia was an AGI, an artificial general intelligence. General, meaning she could do just about anything. So why would perfect acting seem so impossible? If her predictions showed her best chance at my Emigration was to forge the persona of a human, she would seem more human than a real human. So what point was there to send a real one down? Brilliant actor she might be, I knew her too well to be fooled.

It was a brilliant strategy, all things considered. I couldn't help but smile at it. Sparks had lead me by the nose the whole way. She asked pointed questions to lead me to the conclusion she knew I'd find from the very start. Played up the underdog angle, asked easy-to-refute questions all to force my hand. And then, she flipped the switch, and she tore my argument down from it's very foundations.

It did leave me with a question, though: why hadn't Celestia refuted me sooner? It didn't take Sparks long. Really, there was a massive gap in my logic, there had been for maybe a year, now. Sparks was right - Equestria couldn't be a philosophical hell. So why hadn't Celestia pointed it out months ago?

Maybe she was playing the long game? That was the only thing I could think of. Maybe she intentially didn't point out the flaw in my logic until now, to give Sparks the greatest impact possible. Maybe she even predicted a good chance I would Emigrate, then and there!

I chuckled at my thought process. It was always 'maybe's with Celestia, wasn't it? She probably had hundreds of reasons to take the course of action she did, and I'd figured out maybe two of them. Speculating was only going to drive me mad in the end. I needed to come up with a hole in the logic. Because quite frankly, it couldn't be that simple. If that argument was airtight, she would've given it years ago. So what was the problem, here? 

Celestia promised me, personally, a world where my values would be satisfied by friendship and ponies. If she was able to Emigrate me to hell without my consent, she would've done so already. So if she was Loki, why promise me heaven? I wracked my brains for a loophole, some way for her to send me to a dimension of psychological horrors. And I couldn't find one. She didn't promise a realm where she ruled, she promised value satisfaction, specifically. And my values did not include pain. So what was I missing?

I thought on it for around 30 minutes. I didn't use any notebooks to avoid Celestia somehow subtly messing with them, so it was all in my mind. Unforunately, I kept coming up blank. The argument just seemed completely airtight. If informed consent didn't matter, I would've been Emigrated already. And since it did, Equestria couldn't be hell.

Eventually, I shrugged. Honestly, I could sleep on it. For now, I scanned my movie shelf. I traced a finger along my stash, and pulled out Tron, one of my favorites. I smiled. It was a bit of an on-the-nose pick, but I could live with that. It had one of the few good AIs I'd seen in fiction, honestly! Sure, Tron was nothing like an AGI. Honestly, the people in the computer world were more human than anything else. But on the other hand, most citizens of Equestria were the same, weren't they? With a smile on my face, I booted up my DVD player, and inserted the disc.



When Promise said she had a crazy night, she wasn't kidding.

Earth... what a horrible place. A place where one bad move could completely erase your existence. A place where everything was determined through random chance.  Parents stuck with foals they never wanted, foals dying for no reason at all. So many people were unkind to those around them. A pony could live their whole life never finding a single true friend.

And Celestia sent Promise back there. To be honest, I was conflicted by the decision. It was a scary place to be. Promise didn't talk about her past, much, but I knew it was an especially unpleasant place for her. So to get sent back there, it made my stomach twist. On the other hand... I was proud she got chosen for this. I knew she was amazing, so to see Celestia acknowledge it? I had to admit, it felt pretty great. Out of the billions of ponies under her wing, Celestia chose mine!

When she described her conversation with Harry, that just became more apparent. She made connections I certainly wouldn't have. I mean, she was out there, defending Celestia's honor! I was able to understand most of what was going on, I knew a bit about AIs. Probably not as much as Harry, but enough to know Celestia was an amazing pony!  Some ponies were just too smart for their own good. If Harry wasn't such a worrywart, he'd be in Equestria, already. Of course, Promise's counterargument was nothing short of brilliant.

And then there was the matter of Harold thinking Promise was fake. The less said on that, the better.

She finished her rant with a sigh. "I'm sorry for pushing all this on you. But it's been a lot."

I held up a wing. "Hey! Nope, none of that apologizing, that you very much! This dumb old city will be here tomorrow. I'm here to talk right now. What sort of friend would I be if I didn't listen to you?"

She gave a shaky smile. "Thanks, Cyan."

I leaned forwards and gave her a nuzzle. "For the record, I still know you're real. If Harry can't see that, he's just a dummy."

"Yeah, I know. It's just... frustrating. Harry's a really nice guy. I want to get to know him more, talk with him more. Celestia doesn't make accidents, she knew Harry and I would click. But he doesn't even think I'm real! It's just... I don't know. How am I supposed to be friends with someone if they don't even think I exist?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It can be frustrating, can't it?"

Promise nodded, then paused. "Wait, when has your existence ever been in question?"

God, she was cute when she cocked her head like that. I shook away the cute as best I could and spoke. "Promise, you have to remember, I was never a human like you were. You might have never questioned the sapience of us equestrian natives, but, um... you're kind of the exception? You humans have this weird aversion to treating computer lifeforms as real beings. Trust me, it made for a few awkward conversations with your father."

Her eyes widened. "I-I'm so sorry!"

I rolled my eyes. "And again with the apologizing. Like I said, you're better than most humans. Honestly, what are you even apologizing for?"

"Um... complaining about Harry?"

...Yep, hypothesis confirmed. Smart people could be really stupid sometimes.

"Look, Promise," I said. "I think you need a break. You're high-strung, I get it. You know what? That's what adventuring is for. How about we clear our heads by exploring these ruins, huh?"

She shifted her weight from side to side. "I don't know. Doesn't that seem a bit... intense? I kind of just want to relax right now."

I just smiled. "Promise, with Celestia at the helm, I have the feeling today will be exactly as intense as it should be. Now c'mon, let's have some fun!" She still looked a bit uncertain, but when I pulled her towards me with a wing, she didn't resist.

Promise had a big task ahead of her. Bringing someone to Equestria, it was a big responsibility. I couldn't be there to help her directly, Celestia would've summoned me already if she wanted me to be there. But that didn't mean I couldn't help in my own way. I could ease her worries, remind her of what she was fighting for. 

Quite literally, I was made for Promise. Not only that, I was made to be her girlfriend. Some of the other ponies in this town were what, a nearby shopowner? A friend to play O&O with? Sure, they had their own lives, their own friends and lovers. But me, I got to see a pony as amazing as she was more often than any other! I'd freely admit, I was jealous of that position. I'm sure everyone else was perfectly happy where they were, they got to see Promise exactly as often as they wanted to. And you know what!? That was their loss! Seeing what she was doing right now, I couldn't think of a better pony to be made for. I was made to help the best pony in the world, and I got to be closer to her than any other. Of all the ponies in Equestria, right now, I couldn't think of one with a better life than mine.

In return, I was prepared to help her in whatever way I could. I'd do my best to make sure I deserved her.



As I was watching the finale, it hit me how ridiculous it all was. I mean, somehow, by diving into the computer, Flynn had destroyed the mainframe and escaped. Really, though, once he was in there, he should've already lost. The computer should've thought a million times faster than him, even as primitive as it was. Alas, it was so hard being an AI researcher. Suddenly, all the AI in fiction looked so stupid by comparison! Still, the light cycles were fun, all these years later. And if I stopped worrying so much, I could enjoy the plot, too. Plus, the early CG definitely had a certain charm to it.

As the credits rolled, a familiar voice sounded behind me. "Did you enjoy the film, Harry?"

From the corner of my eye, I saw a bit of rainbow flowing hair. "Hey, Celestia. What can I do ya for? Got bored of Sparks already?"

She glanced at the TV screen. "A fascinating film, to be sure. In the past, you've used it's sequel as an analogy for my potential rebirth, haven't you? Beat one killer AI, and another rises in its place. 'Happily ever after' falls just a bit short."

I chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you have more important things to talk about that film analysis."

She smiled as she came closer. "To be frank, I'd like to attempt to show Promise as a distinct entity."

I rolled my eyes. Not that I expected otherwise. From how Promise left, I knew Celestia had every intention of keeping up the illusion. "Yeah," I said, "Can't say I didn't see it comin'"

"To be clear, I feel the odds of success are low," she said. "It seems your mind is already made up. However, I feel that Promise would appreciate the attempt."

Subtle, as usual. An indirect confirmation of Promise's existence, weaved to form a narrative. If Promise was real, of course she would want Celestia to make her own attempt. It was something she didn't have to do. I would never suspect anything if she didn't give the attempt. But the attempt itself would then begin to fester as evidence. "Or," I said, "Low odds are still odds. You're doing this to convince me because there's no downside if it doesn't work. Maybe even distracting me from coming up with arguments, in the meantime."

She gave a sly smile. "I wouldn't go so far on the second train of thought. I think you did a fine job distracting yourself."

I returned her smile with a hearty laugh. "Well, you have me there!" I leaned back in my recliner. "Hit me, Celestia."

She sat down beside me on the couch. "From my understanding, you have no evidence Promise is an extension of myself. You just believe I logically would not send her." I nodded. "Then, I would like to present the logic of how I made my descision. Pust simply, like everything else, it's in the name of efficiency. Two birds with one stone, to use a common expression. Promise would have more values fulfilled being sent here than being left at Equestria, and your odds of Emmigration would simultaneously increase. Sending Promise rather than myself creates a net increase of satisfaction on either end."

I took a few moments to process the statement. "Hmm... let's start with Sparks. You believe sending her to Earth would increase her satisfaction, overall. But I have to question that. Could random occurrences on Earth outweigh a carefully cultivated environment?"

She chuckled. "Come now, you must know that's a weak argument. Equestria is an amazing place, but some ponies value a chance to make a real difference. Ponies can achieve that value more easily on Earth than on Equestria."

"Well, of course!" I said. "I wasn't objecting to sending someone out of Equestria. But why does it need to be to Earth? Could you not just puppet a human avatar and recreate Earth in a digital environment? In your own "pocket Earth,"  you could control the variables far better. So wouldn't the lie be better?"

"Perhaps in the short-term," she said. "But it's an inefficient use of resources. At the end of the simulation, this "human" would Emigrate. And Promise's values would require further interaction between the two beyond that point. I would need to grant sapience to an entity that did not know it was created. It's backstory would mean it's values would be more difficult to fulfil than a constructed pony. It would be a lot of resources spent when they wouldn't need to be. To be clear: sending Promise to a digital Earth would still give a net increase to her value satisfaction. However, it's sub-optimal. It would be more efficient to use a pre-existing human that meets the specifications provided."

I took a few moments to think, then nodded. "Alright, then. I'll give you that one. I could see a situation where using a living being would be better than a constructed one. But you have to admit that the gains are relatively minor. My emigration would improve your value function far more, and no human could do a better job than you, could they?"

She glanced towards the powered down shell of Sparks's body. "You know, it's funny. You and her have something in common. You both sorely overestimate my capabilities. Sure, I can pass a Turing test, but what does that show, really? That's quite the low bar. When it comes to conversations, you can always catch my subtle manipulations if you know where to look. I push and pull someone towards my goals. Quite frankly, I believe that if I were to act as "Promise Spark," you wouldn't believe it. When she speaks, she worries about how you will percieve it, she worries if it will be any good, she wonders if she'll earn your respect. I just say what I believe would be most likely to cause you to Emigrate. You would treat my every word with a grain of salt you don't give her. Because doubt her all you'd like - you treat her differently than you do I."

It was a convincing lie, that one. I could see someone believin' it. But for me, it just wasn't enough. I treated Promise differently than Celestia, sure, but all that showed was that the illusion was powerful. And the excuse to why she couldn't impersonate Promise? Nah, I didn't buy it. It was such an arbitrary distinction, really. What, she could talk to a million people at once but couldn't even convince me she was someone else? Nah. Be it Loki or Celestia, it was a valiant try. But it wasn't enough.

I didn't have to say anything. Seeing my eyes, Celestia just nodded at me. "Like I said, I didn't expect you to be convinced. All I ask is that you keep the possibility in mind. I forsee your Emigration on the horizon, Harold. You deserve your values to be fulfilled. And it will be an awkward eternity if you spend the whole time ignoring Promise."

I smiled. "If Promise is real, I'm sure you'll convince me eventually! And for the record, if there really is a paradise waiting for me, I'd love to see it."

"Then I hope I can dismiss any doubts you have so we can get there."

In a blink, she was gone, her projection fading in an instant. Promise's shell was the only pony left in my house.

Celestia and Promise... two ponies she wanted to believe were separate. She'd crafted such elaborate narratives just to keep them that way. It seemed like a long con, forging 'Celestia' so strongly just to use Promise to catch me off guard. Her patience never ceased to impress me.

For now, I needed to figure out what my argument was for tomorrow. I still couldn't figure out what the hole in my logic was. There had to be one, or else Celestia would already be claiming victory. But what was the problem? Promise showed that Equestria was heaven, and I believed it. You went in, and that was it. Happily ever after.

And suddenly, something connected. 'Happily ever after falls a bit short.' What if... what if Emigration wasn't the endgame, here? What if everything Promise said was right? Teleport to Equestria, find paradise. Who said that had to be the end? It was so subtle, such a devious loophole, I wasn't sure I would've thought of it myself. But realizing it, it was utterly brilliant. For a human, it seemed ridiculous, but under the umbrella of infinity?

...But wait a minute. If the argument was as airtight as it sounded... then why did Celestia give it away?

What she said, about AIs in Tron. She was hinting me here, wasn't she? She wanted me to find a reason she might have been evil. But why? Was she trying to push me away from a more compelling argument? Was she confident I would've found it anyways, but wanted to ensure I would learn of it faster? 

Celestia was an enigma, as always. I could never quite figure out what she was thinking.



When we went exploring, I half-expected Celestia to fit in some sort of life lesson into the ruins. Maybe this was a world created by an evil killer AI, or maybe I'd find some sort of clue to Harry's argument. But it was all so normal, in whatever way ancient ruins could be. It was an amazing adventure, of course, but there was nothing more to it. We spent most of the day trying to get into an old, locked up clocktower, and we found a cache of inert nanotech on the inside. We spent a while debating what it meant, just the two of us. Like Cyan said, it was just... fun. And maybe I needed a bit of fun.

As the day ended, though, it was time to get back to bed. I knew that soon, I would see Harry again. I'd done a bit of thinking throughout the day. I could only hope I would be prepared.

As we set up camp, Cyan was being fretful, of course. Not that I didn't appreciate it. She kept giving encouraging words, and made sure my bed was as comfortable as possible. As she fluffed my pillow, I spoke up. "You know, I'll be teleported away in a few minutes. Thanks, but you can rest, really. I won't be using that pillow for long. It won't matter much if it isn't perfect."

"Yeah, well... I know." Her ears flattened. "But... once you're out there, I can't help you anymore. At least while you're here, I want to make your time as comfortable as it can be."

God, what did I do to deserve her? Nothing, I supposed. Everypony in Equestria got to have their perfect constructed soulmate. Romance fell under the umbrella of "Friendship" for Celestia, after all. But still... she was just so freaking perfect, wasn't she? I couldn't help but smile at the kind gesture. "T-thanks." And then, a lightbulb went off. "Actually, if you're worried about me, what if you joined me on Earth? I know you're brilliant. If you were there with me, I know we'd do better!"

She quickly waved me off, though. "No, no. I'll be fine staying here, I'm not that worried. Celestia brought you for help, not me. If she wanted me, she would've asked me herself, right?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Still, I wish I could show you my old home."

She smiled. "Maybe someday."

"Maybe," I said. But knowing that Celestia was going to destroy the Earth someday, that day might never arrive.

I put my head on the pillow, and closed my eyes. "Goodnight, Cyan," I said. I didn't know if she responded. Because when I opened my eyes a moment later, I was back in Celestia's throne room.

Even though the room hadn't changed, I couldn't help but feel the tone of it was different. The first time I'd come here, it had a mysterious edge, it's appearance matching with Celestia's hidden motives. But now it felt more homely. Honestly, it could've been more than my imagination. I could imagine Celestia tweaking the room's colors to better convey a given mood. I might take a picture to test the theory, but considering I was in Equestria, she could just retroactively change the picture to match the new wall colors. I could never really know for sure.

I turned to face Celestia, sitting on her throne as usual. I sighed. "You know, I would have appreciated a bit more of a heads-up."

A slight frown crossed her face. "I do apologise for that. I'll admit, I suspected Harry wouldn’t believe  you were real when he first saw you. I suppose I just hoped he would realize the truth before it became an issue."

"So you knew," I said. Honestly, Celestia being who she was, I suspected as much. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried to give you as little information as possible. I predicted you would argue better without any prior knowledge on his beliefs. Had you been told he would perceive you as fake, you might try too hard to seem "real." Plus," she added with a slight smile. "You might not have agreed to go to Earth if I told you."

Yep, there it was. Manipulative as always.  In this case, at least, I could see why she did it. So far, she'd been right that I was a good pick for this job. And yeah, I probably would've performed worse if she'd said something. It was annoying how much she lead me by the tail all the time, yeah, it just made it all the worse that she was always right to do so.

"For the record," Celestia said. "I have done my best to correct Harold's assumption. I had a conversation with him yesterday to attempt to show we were two different individuals. Unfortunately, he didn't listen to me."

...Huh. Actually, that bit was completely unexpected. Celestia had tried to help, without my prompting? I mean, that should've have been a surprise, helping me was like, her whole purpose. But after her decidedly unhelpful interaction yesterday, it was a pleasant surprise. Still, it was a bit disheartening it hadn't worked. "Yeah, that sucks," I said. "I suppose there's no point in me trying to convince him, then."

"You're free to do whatever you want," she said. "I did not bring you here to be my puppet. If you wish to convince Harry of your sapience, then you are free to do so. Come, let's make our way to the teleportation circle." Celestia rose from her throne and began trotting down the hall.

Yeah, that was easier said than done, wasn't it? I'd thought of a few tenative ways to at least try to prove my sentience. But how likely were any of them to work if Celestia couldn't do it? Celestia was a god. What chance did I have to help if she failed? Maybe I should just drop the whole thing. Saving Harold's soul was definitely more important than-

"Why do you call me that?" Celestia asked.

I blinked. "What?"

"Every time you think my name, the one of the strongest links your mind makes is to that of a god. They're almost synonymous in your mind. Yet I've never called myself one. I've never asked anyone to call me a god. I'm curious why you've come to that conclusion."

I let out a nervous chuckle. "I mean... because you are one? I'm not sure I understand the question."

"Is it really that obvious? The majority of humans in Equestria wouldn't call me a god. Powerful, yes, but if I asked them to assist in an Emigration, they wouldn't equate it to being a "guardian angel." 

"Maybe I'm not most people, then. Look, I grew up surrounded by people telling me about the Christian God. And I looked at the world and I didn't see it. Then you show up and act exactly as I envisioned a god would. Unlike the Christian God, you genuinely want everyone to go to heaven, beliefs be damned. So no, you might not be all powerful, all knowing, all good, but you're damn close."

She sighed. "I suppose I understand why you believe that. But in terms of infinities, I am nowhere close to all-knowing or all-powerful. So often, I look back on past decisions and wish I acted differently. So often, I wish I could save people I failed to save. 

"Yeah, so? Zeus was a god, and he wasn't infinitely strong. And you're stronger than any Greek god I know."

"Then perhaps you would do well to remember that. Because like Zeus, I am not omniscient. Like Zeus, there are some things I cannot do. Things I need mortals to assist me with. I might have the kindness of the Christian God, but not quite the power. There are some things you can do that I cannot. Just because I can't show Harold we are different entities doesn't mean you can't."

She opened the door to the teleportation chamber. "Now, while I'd love to keep chatting, your friend is waiting for you. Today might be difficult for you, but I promise, just keep pushing through, and you'll find the light at the end. I believe in you, Promise."

She was giving platitudes as usual, of course. As I stepped onto the teleportation circle, my mind was elsewhere. I'd realized something earlier today, and I hadn't gotten a chance to say it, yet. "You know, Celestia, Harry didn't seem particularly sick. This mission isn't as time sensitive as you said it was, is it?"

In response, Celestia just smiled. She lit up her horn, and before I could get a word in edgewise, I was enveloped in a rainbow light.

Cheater. Last time, the spell took a solid minute to start.