//------------------------------// // 201. Museum Manipulation. // Story: Baa-Ram-Ewe! // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -Saint Canard Museum, gift shop area, Dolly- Well if Dormarch had our backs, then I believed he would do great at it given he’s apparently not exactly capable of running yet and every puppy should know that joy of running around in wide open spaces! Think of all the thing I’m going to have to teach him, he’s going to learn how to have so much fun now that he’s outside his device and actually physically helping us out! Holding the front of my board, I brought it around to break the neck of a wolf Pom with the backside. The head twisted and flopped sideway on its neck in a sickening manner as it fell over before evaporating like all the other monster tended to do. It didn’t feel right using lethal force against these thing, but that was because most of them looked too much like Pom and with my skills I could easily hurt someone as I’ve recently seen. This kind of puts into perspective how dangerous I’ve actually become and why being a hero is as dangerous as Pom has mentioned numerous times. I grabbed the strap, let the skateboard loose behind me and I heard it hit something, before I snapped it forward horizontally sweeping back the pumpkin dogs and sheep wolves. The pumpkin dogs were kind of lame overall, but the cats and sheep wolves were actually a problem. I looked over to see how Shanty was doing, she was blazing through them like a literal knife through butter. In three swings she slashed apart a pumpkin, a flying cat and deflected a lunging sheep wolf onto its back. Quackerjack capitalized on that last one by slashing it into a mass of red haze with a quick bladed yoyo toss. Several blasts of energy brought up our rear wiping out anyone that could take us by surprise, nice to know my little bro is not accidentally hitting us and he was easily dealing with the flying cats that were the most annoying problem. I almost felt like asking Pom for some energy to do some bark blasts myself, but Dormarch easily covered us from being attacked from above. I brought my board around in an upwards swing that knocked the charging sheep wolf in the chin and then, with a short spin and hop, I brought my board down on their skull taking them out. I kicked out with my left hind leg and putting some momentum into the aggressive pumpkin dog, causing it to get lodged onto a sheep wolfs head while knocking them down. They were soon lit on fire by a blast of flames from one of Quackerjack’s toy mallets, taking out the both of them. The guy was cool and knew how to work the toys he was carrying on him, kind of hard to believe he was a fictional villain with how lively he was. “Okay, let’s…” I was about to charge forward towards the staircase since we worked through all those monsters so fast. “Everyone wait!” Dormarch drew our attention to him. What was the hold up? We can tear through these things easily. Sure it might be tiring avoiding personal injury while doing so, but I’m getting pumped here! “Come over here for a second, do you want Splatter Phoenix to always be ready for us and possibly use Leap Lamb as a hostage? I have an idea.” “Okay, let’s hear it.” Quackerjack said as we stayed next to the gift shop and were on the lookout for more monsters. “There’s a gift shop right there right?” Dormarch stated as he pointed it out to us one of his claws extended from his paw. “Well one thing we can do is get some water from the nearby employee bathroom for Cut-Lass, provided the faucet is clean tap. Caper Canine or I can get to the second floor from there to go search for Leap Lamb while the rest of us keep Splatter Phoenix distracted… Caper Canine… please stop staring at the self-inflating rubber chicken Quackerjack created.” “Huh… what… did you say something?” That inflatable rubber chicken was just so glorious… and wobbly! I wanted to bounce on that thing all day... a trampoline and a rubber chicken combined. Quackerjack is a genius, this version of him should have gone into making toys for dogs. “Hey, she knows how to appreciate a good rubber chicken when she sees one!” Quackerjack was on my side apparently and I gave him an appreciative bark to let him know. “I say let her do so.” “Can we not be getting side tracked here?” Shanty tapped her front left hoof against the floor impatiently. “There being a way to the second floor that doesn’t be requiring the stairs Splatter Phoenix is going to be preparing for us on?” “Yes, so we can send someone ahead to rescue Leap Lamb and Caper Canine can do that through the small vents leading up a floor from the employee bathroom next to the gift shop. We may have to bust down a door to do so.” Well there was something to the idea Dormarch, but... couldn’t you do it too? I can feel him and Pom at the same time and he was around my size, he could easily fit in there. “I’m sure with as many talented individuals as we have here, it would be child’s play.” “I enjoy the sound of that, but I don’t think children should play with my toys unless they are intelligent and know how to put up a fight like that Quiverwing Quack girl.” Quackerjack looked in the direction of the door to the employee bathroom next to the gift shop with a curious look on his face as he tilted his head. “You can do it too you know… Pom would be happy to see you in the flesh and fur bro.” That and I kind of wanted to continue beating things up and give Splatter Phoenix something to be truly afraid of. “You can feel her too right?” “Technically I’m not truly made of flesh and fur Caper Canine, but I guess I could pass for being as such easily enough. Also yes I can find her, but you would be faster and I can continue to help with flying problems. I know you’ve rescued her backside multiple times already and that it could be a bit of a drag to do so again…” He pause and kind of reminded me of my step brother Dylan when thinking about something. I watched as his three fishy tails start to flick side to side adorable. “What about the flying monsters Splatter Phoenix will use at the stairs?” “Hey, I’ve got ammunition to take down flying things.” Quackjack said as he came up to us with the bit of rock candy he had fired previously and was loading it into the second unicorn pony toy. “The Rock Candy is reusable at least, but I wouldn’t suggest that anyone eat it after it’s been fired… huh, of course Mr. Banana Brain, I’ll ask them. Does anyone know what this Splatter Phoenix is fully capable of?” “Well she created you didn’t she? She apparently uses artwork as her main medium of magical attack and apparently blood and paint is a part of it, also I would like to point out that the second floor has pirate and ninja exhibits according to the nearby directory… so…” Dormarch shivered and Shanty grew excited with a wide eyed big toothy grin, she started trotting in place and looked quite excited. I was feeling that vibe myself and we obviously had energy to burn. “Why would someone put those two next to each other?! Aside from the fact that ninja ‘pirates’ were a naturally occurring thing in Japan, given there are folktales of it in Tokyolk. When talking of the etymology, they are from two completely different eras of history enti…” “We have got to be seeing that pirate exhibit… and fighting it!” That’s exactly what is being implied here Shanty, at least I think that’s what Dormarch said we’d be doing given Splatter Phoenix can bring thing like statues to life. What could she exactly do with a bunch of paintings though once she runs out of statues to throw at us? Makes me wonder what my little sis Da Vinci would think of all this… she’d probably hate that we’re carelessly destroying all this artwork that people toiled over and worked hard to make. Eh, the situation is pretty bad, so can’t go worrying about the small details in this case. Da Vinci would definitely hate Splatter Phoenix more for forcing us to do all this too, than me actually being a wholesale part of destroying tons of art. It wasn’t my sister’s art, so I didn’t really have to care, besides my shy little sister Da Vinci was always going to be my favorite artist. “Also, we can’t get side tracked with history lessons here! You’re going to go get Pom bro, I swear she’ll be glad to see you no matter the situation!” I put a paw on his neck and drew him into a hug. “You’ll do fine, also I know you can feel her and you can feel me too can’t you? Besides, I need to continue putting the fear of Dalmatians into a De Ville.” “Can you guys help me into the vent first before going for the stairs?” Dormarch asked quietly. “Also yes, I can feel you, it’s… weird. You’re like a bonfire and you feel like family.” “Which is a sure thing as you very well know!” I said with big grin as I nuzzled and cuddled up to him. I really missed the feeling of a warm Dalmatian body to hug, even if his tails were a bit awkward. Dormarch can help a lot with flying things, but he would be a lot more helpful with getting Pom out before Splatter Phoenix thinks about running to use her as a hostage. We’ll be giving him all the time he needs to reach Pom with, mostly by performing a frontal assault. Once Shanty drank her fill of water, and probably needed some kind of magical canteen she couldn’t lose, she somehow found one of the employee’s secret stash of a bottle of rum. She shoved the narrow neck of the bottle up into her bandana, she was going to carry that around everywhere until she finally decides to drink it. “I just be knowing rum when I smell it!” Shanty said with no hint as to how she knew the combination for the safe under the gift shops counter. Maybe that Cooper guy taught her how to do that? Afterwards we set off for the stairs leaving Dormarch to clamber his way through the vents, hopefully we could keep Splatter Phoenix distracted long enough for Dormarch to reach Pom and figure out a way to set her free from where she’s being held. Since he didn’t come back down immediately, that meant the barrier didn’t cover all entrances to the second floor that Fatter Phoenix didn’t think about. “Let’s go!” Oh wait… Dormarch was the only one that could translate for me... body language it is! I pointed a digit forward with my right paw as I brought my board around with my left and stepped on it, both Shanty and Quackerjack nodded before we grew serious. Well as serious as Quackerjack or any of us could get really, we were a cheerful trio in general and we will spite any gloom and will always look forward to the bright side of life on the greener side of a hill! I think that’s usually the east side right? -Shanty- Pirates, Pirates, Pirates, Pirates, Pirates, Pirates… couldn’t wait to see if they could fight on the level of some of the pirates I’ve seen! Splatter Phoenix just had to threaten us with them right? I mean sure she could threaten us with just the ninjas, but that would be being dumb of her! I be full of water, no need for a salt since I just used the bathroom and the vinegar be in my bottle of rum! I was ready for a good brawl and Splatter Phoenix better be delivering on it! -Quackerjack- We made a good team, plus I have a chip in my shoulder about Splatter Phoenix and I was going to show her exactly what I was made of! Which was apparently paint and dreams, at least Mr. Banana Brain was real and that’s all that mattered to me. -Splatter Phoenix- What was taking them so long to… oh there they are! Did they send off that mutant Dalmatian to get the front entrance open? No matter. A few flicks of my paintbrush and the staircase will be a work of art they’ll never forget! “Let me show you a neat trick for you to try and get through.” Draw a circle in the air and then splash area they were about to enter, the staircase was going to become bigger than normal and the world warps with my paint and will! I watched as the paint flowed from my brush and covered the staircase up to me. The world started warping around the staircase leading to the second floor. The staircase didn’t exactly move, but the area the staircase occupied stretched and warped unnaturally like I thought it should. The staircase started splitting and going in multiple directions, now an entire labyrinth of warped space between the first and second floor was forged. “That’ll keep them away from me for a bit, but now I have to throw something more at them hm… let’s see.” More helicopter hellcats, more wearing wolves… no more pumpkin pugs, they weren’t very effective against those three. Wearing wolves was a better name for them as they were decent at tiring them out. All they needed to do is get a few good bites and they’d be open to being ripped apart to feed my need for paint. What kind of monster do you put in a maze, even ones made of staircases? A Minotaur! That was far too plain for my brilliance though… how about a Minute-Taur! A red demon bull with a melted clock themed axe, eyes with minute and hour hands that spin crazily above spiral pupils… a pocket watch, a fancy suit with a top hat and time twisting powers. Oh yes! Go my minions and give me more time to paint such a wonderful death for them, which is if you can’t deal with them yourselves! -Shanty- “What did she just be doing?” I took one step on the staircase and the upper floor seemed to stretch away for miles, I be taking a step back and the air in front of the staircase seemed to be being warped badly and elongated and all over the place. However a step away from it revealed that the upper floor not being as far as when on the staircase. “I don’t know, but we can’t let her scare us.” Quackerjack stated as he marched onto the stair way and seemed to stretch into the the maze of twisted staircases. “We need to keep her attention on us right? So let’s put on a show!” Dolly be barking and nodding her head as she stowed away her board and ran up the stairs, I followed right behind her with Quackerjack coming up from behind. The world quickly be becoming a confusing maze of staircases. “How do we know which way is being the right way up?” Looking above us I saw a staircase heading back down the way we came above us into a doorway. Dolly looked around and shrugged at me with her paws raised up. “Let’s not be getting separated in here.” I said quietly. “Wow this is really wacky and all, but I think we need to go this way!” Quackerjack be motioning for us to follow him, he be taking charge of our direction. “Call it a feeling and Mr. Banana Brain is telling me to follow it.” It wasn’t long before we were being beset by flying cats and more sheep wolves as we entered tower of shifting spiraling staircases. “Come on!” I shouted as I moved forward to draw the sheep wolves’ attention on me. Quackerjack started to shoot the flying cats down with his rock candy shooter, while they were over the stairs so he could be retrieving his shots. Dolly be leaping up and using her board to hook them and draw herself into them with a solid kick of her hind paws. “Be being careful Caper Canine, I do not think you would be wanting to get lost in here!” I be only receiving some barks back in response. That is to be being expected I guess. I ducked back a bit as the teeth of a sheep wolf snapped at me, I went on to my hind legs and kicked upwards with my right hind leg to slash it across the face. Following that up, I twisted in a counter clockwise motion while thrusting my right hoof upwards to knock the second one that came at me to send them rolling back up the stairs. I had to quickly deflect with both hooves the third as it tried to rake me with its front claws in a savage display of ferocity. While I be doing this a fourth be coming at me, why weren’t there any pumpkin dogs? I think I see, Splatter Phoenix be focusing more on these sheep wolves and that is being bad. I reached up to the back of my head and then slung the bottle of rum into the side of its face hard enough to be snapping its neck with the blow. Tossed the bottle up, I slashed a fifth one through the chest with both my hooves in an axe swing, caught the bottle crushed the skull of the second and then kicked the head off the third with a scything blow of my right hind leg through its neck. I then be having to duck a flying cat only for Dolly to barrel into it destroying its propeller and dropping it on the second sheep wolf. A wild spray of acid from Quackerjack toy pony and Dolly be taking down the last sheep wolf with an overhead blow wielding her skateboard like a broadsword. “I be thinking Splatter Phoenix not be making those fire monsters because she not be knowing I get dehydrated when shooting water without a source.” Good news for us at least. “Sounds about right now, let’s keep going up this way!” Quackerjack pointed to the staircase branching off from the spiraling staircases. “Oh and we have more helicopter cats incoming!” “How many of these things can she be making?!” It be quite frustrating to defeat an opponent, only to be beset by those same opponents again a minute later. -Dolly- “I’ve got them!” Now let’s see if I can control how much energy I expend when I do this… I held out my left paw concentrated on not putting my all into the energy. “Aero!” A large swirl of green wind ripped the propellers off the swarm of incoming helicopter hellcats and they fell into the void or was it to the bottom of the stairs? That doesn’t really matter, they were dealt with, what does matter was that that wasn’t as draining as last time. Maybe I’m getting used to using my magic? The first few times was draining as all get out, but that felt only maybe as half as bad as the previous times. “Good job Caper Canine, let’s be going faster before more show up!” Shanty pushed at Quackerjack’s back and he started forward leading us through this mess somehow. -Splatter Phoenix- “Agh, what the... what hell was that?!” Where did a huge chunk of my magic just go and why was it so painful?! Darn it, that made a small imperfection in my design. At least it wasn’t the brain of my minion. No matter, I just need put in the finishing touches and the Minute-taur would be ready! -Dormarch- I’m so glad biological stuff like poison has no effect on me or I might be more scared of spiders… I wonder if there were spider beings that were digital entities like me? Actual bugs like that made of coding would be a nightmare for me. I extending my claws from my paws and clambered up the incline grasping at the inner edges of the vents that I could find and eventually found a vent grate to open, looking down I saw the daylight filtering into the museum. I was thankfully above the first floor at least. Now to do this quietly or quickly? Quickly, Pom was counting on me. One retriever bark and the grate flew off and down to the first floor, a one way barrier? Okay, noted. I grabbed the edge of the opening and slowly lowered my rear half down and the flopped onto the second floor balcony back first… also ow. “Pom, where are you?” I felt some form of response pulling me to go a direction, at least it was away from Splatter Phoenix, but I’d be passing through the pirate exhibit… before Shanty destroys it anyway. “She must be up on the third floor.” I walk through the pirate art exhibit and I’m glad most of this stuff wasn’t actively under Splatter Phoenix’s control yet, I looked at the nearby directory for a staircase up. Finding where I needed to go I set off and recorded the pirate exhibit as it looks before it gets destroyed… for posterity reasons really. I carefully walked up the stairs getting more and more used to gravity and I eventually came upon the medieval art exhibit. I didn’t see Pom, but I knew she was here. She just had to be, the feeling was so strong now. “Over here, I’m here!” I blinked and my attention was drawn to some painting across from the painting of a knight attacking a windmill was the painting of a dungeon, inside said painting was Pom hanging from the ceiling in chains. “Dol-Dormarch? Huh… well I’m quite glad to see you!” Pom felt like a fluffy pillow and blanket, seeing her was a balm to my spirit. Seeing her like this... not so much. “You’re in a painting?” I walked up to it and looked up to see Pom looking down at me from it with a frown. I hopped up clamped my claws onto the edge of the painting and then I touched the surface of the painting and fell into it after the surface of the painting shimmered and wobbled unusually. “This… this feels weird.” “Can you see a way to get me out of this?” I looked at the blood circle on the floor, the chains holding her legs and neck, the bones of painted prisoners that for some reason drew my attention. Not because I was into bones like other dogs, might have to take up a passing fancy in archaeology for that, but because one of the bones was rather oddly shaped. I moved over to pull at the femur and was reward with a bone that ended in a key like shape. Now I just had to get up to Pom. “I think I found a key?” I entered into Pom’s view dragging the bone with me. “Huh, a skeleton key. How... appropriate to the situation.” Pom then looked up for a second. “Contact the Dalmatian family and get Spot to look at the circle.” I put my paw into the PET and it started a call to Camden Town, I can work it from the outside easily enough. “Dalmatian residence… whoa, don’t touch that blood circle!” Spot ordered immediately.