“Ooohhhhh… i-i-it’s f-f-f-fucking cold out here,” I got out, Shorey and I’s fur still dripping wet. “There n-n-n-needs to be something we can do.”
I was a shivering mess as we walked, but certainly not tired. My completely soaked fur and mane saw to that. Granted, it was a bit of a warmer night tonight than I’d experienced up to this point, probably somewhere in the forties range, but I knew being all wet I was still risking death just being out here. Certainly I knew there was going to be no way we’d be able to stop. Just having the body heat we generated as we moved while we walked might have been enough to keep us from starting to get hypothermia. It certainly felt like it.
“J-just keep going,” she instructed, walking directly next to me as if to catch me if I tripped and fell. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was worried about me giving up and flopping dead right there. It was certainly a possibility with how destroyed my mental state was. How I hadn’t done that already, I didn’t know, except that part of it was her being here with me.
“How far away d-did that stallion you met say th-the Crystal Empire was?”
“Like five days,” I replied. “And I’ve been out here for about th-th-that long. I think today is d-day five.”
“Well then I don’t see why we shouldn’t get there tonight,” she said. “We can treat tonight’s walking as day five…” Then she sighed and said, “My side is absolutely killing me.”
“I really hope we get there soon,” I said, my flank hurting probably as much as her side. “I’m not spending another night out here.”
We walked slowly, tiredly trudging along, looking behind us every so often to make sure those wolves weren’t following behind us. The foliage got thicker the farther into the Crystal Forest we went, and we were able to hear different sounds. The hoot of an owl, the howl of some creature nearby, the flap of a bird's wings. It kept me aware and alert of my surroundings, making sure I watched carefully to be sure nothing was coming after us.
There was something else, too… was that crying? I looked over to Shorey, and sure enough, she was almost full on sobbing as we walked forward, a change from the flat expression she had on a second ago. How she was still able to keep going despite the mess of tears she was in was surprising.
“What’s wrong, Shorey?” I asked with concern, not stopping because she was still moving.
“I don’t know, it just came on all at once,” she said. “It’s the fact that I’m a mare now and you’re not, and that we’re both really in Equestria except we have to deal with surviving the outdoors, and… I don’t know! I’m just happy that I can finally be myself, and upset that you have to go through all that again.”
“Oh, it’s the estrogen!” I couldn’t help but laugh, realizing the answer, doing my best to avoid thinking about myself. “I told you before it was going to make you cry at the drop of a hat if you ever transitioned, and now you can see first hand that it does. Err, hoof.” Friendship was magic? More like estrogen was magic.
“This isn’t the drop of a hat,” she tried to tell me, only making me laugh. “I was thinking about something sad. It’s not random.”
“I didn’t say it was at random,” I giggled, “but it certainly is all of a sudden, you have to admit.” It was absolutely adorable seeing her try to explain away why she was crying. Seeing her face took away the bad from everything else I was dealing with and somehow made things better.
I wasn’t going to admit that I was incredibly jealous right then. I wanted to focus on what she was rather than what I lost. It only felt more painful with every passing hour.
“Look, I already cry kind of easily,” she tried to tell me. “Heck, I cry when I have to say goodbye to my nephew. It’s not like this is something new.”
“That’s probably the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard you say,” I smiled widely. “That is super duper cute. How you always one up yourself on the cuteness factor is completely beyond me.”
“I don’t know how you can say that,” she got out, trying not to smile as she cried. “I’m just being myself.”
“Well yourself is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” I replied. “It makes it worth it to be dripping wet in the cold to see you being as adorable as possible.” It wasn’t worth dysphoria, or a torn off tail, or nearly dying multiple times over, but that fact would remain unspoken between us.
“Heh, you’re crazy,” Shorey told me, her eyes still very wet. “Dang, this is going to be weird to get used to.”
“You’re absolutely adorable,” I said again. “I love you, Shorey.”
“I appreciate the sentiment,” she said back, stopping for a moment to wipe her eyes with her hooves. “You’re a great friend, Rally.”
It could’ve been more awkward to hear that coming from her, but we’d already been through this conversation before. I told my friends I loved them, and she didn’t. Sure, it might have meant more being directed to her, and hurt when she didn’t say it back, but that wasn’t her fault. I knew sometimes I pushed it with how I acted, and had to tone it down, but sometimes I couldn’t help myself.
She glanced up at me for a second before looking away and starting forward again. “Celestia, it’s cold out here,” she said, shivering.
“I’m not feeling as cold as I thought I would be,” I responded. Granted, it was still cold, but I was expecting to be chilled to the bone. This was something that sucked more than it was life threatening. Not that being wet in the cold was good for me. I just knew I was going to get sick with all the time I spent out here so far.
“Achoo!” I sneezed loudly, getting snot all over my face. Of course I sneezed, because why wouldn’t I? I scowled, any joy I had from interacting with Shorey completely evaporating.
“That’s it,” I said aloud. “No more bad thoughts. This is getting fucking stupid. If Lord Zulu isn’t watching me, then the universe is, because the second I think I’m gonna get sick, I sneeze.”
“It’s probably just a coincidence,” Shorey told me. “You’ve been out here in the cold for how long? I’d be almost surprised if you weren’t getting sick.”
“I sneezed one second after I thought that. And back there, right when I thought we’d get away from those timberwolves easily, I stepped on a tree branch. Either Lord Zulu’s watching us and reading my mind, or I’m just the unluckiest person of all time. I can’t rule it out since he was able to do all of this.”
“This might not make you feel better, but it’s probably just being unlucky,” Shorey told me. “It’s not like either of us were born lucky, so it’s not like we’re not used to this.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. Don’t think about how she got what she wanted and I didn’t, I told myself. Don’t be bitter. If I had fists to clench, I would be. I had to force myself not to cry, I was so upset.
No! That wasn’t me! I wasn’t the type to just hold back tears. I hadn’t been that way in years. If I wanted to cry, I was going to cry, as long as the moment was appropriate. It didn’t feel particularly inappropriate right now, but I couldn’t muster up any tears regardless. I now wanted to, but nothing came forth.
“Something is going on with me, and I don’t know what,” I whispered, mostly to myself, starting to grind my teeth now. It was a half lie though. I knew exactly what it was, and it was frightening that I could do nothing about it. I was being poisoned, my mental state slowly deteriorating more every hour longer I had to live like this.
“What is it?” Shorey asked, turning to me, the look on her face clearly one of concern. She looked like she was a half step away from crying again if I told her what was up, not that she didn’t already know.
“It’s nothing,” I told her quickly, trying to reassure her. “Let’s just keep going.”
We continued on in the night, watching our backs as we walked. I appreciated the night as we did, trying to distract myself from how much everything sucked to take in how pretty the sky was. It was full of bright stars, and had another full moon hanging overhead, illuminating our trek. That was another thing I was noticing. The phases of the moon weren’t changing, or at least they were changing very slowly. I was pretty sure I saw them change in the show, but couldn’t exactly remember. Either way, it was interesting to see a few differences between this Equestria and the one on TV. I wondered what else would be different.
It wasn’t very fun walking through this forest though. It was still cold, and I found myself shivering and yawning as we walked. It turned out being completely soaked to the bone didn’t make me any less tired. I could feel my fur slowly drying off, my coat starting to get matted and knotted. I felt disgusting in every way possible, hungry, starting to get thirsty, and desperately wished for a shower. I was just plain exhausted.
“I really hope we get to the Crystal Empire soon,” I complained, whispering to myself mostly. “God, this sucks so bad. I just want to drop dead after a week of this.”
“I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you were out here just in the wilderness. I would’ve modified my wish if I knew this was where you were.” Then Shorey smiled and looked at herself, adding, “I don’t mean to gloat though, but I also wasn’t expecting being myself to feel this nice. I wish I would’ve done this before.”
Don’t be snarky, I told myself, allowing a tiny sigh to escape me. I couldn’t be snarky, as much as I wanted to be. I wanted to tell her I told her probably a hundred times she’d be happier if she just dared to try, but she never did. It always hurt me to see her living in a way she hated and knowing I couldn’t change that. And then to see her getting everything she wanted after no effort was bittersweet. Way too bittersweet, to the point where it almost felt entirely bitter.
I couldn’t blame her though. I was being completely unfair. I knew almost all of it was because I was robbed. Besides, our situations weren’t remotely the same. She was in a position where she couldn’t get away with being happy, and simply put, I just wasn’t.
Stop being bitter, I told myself. Stop being bitter over this. An impossible task it was, but I would try. The least I could do was be happy for her though.
It was a task made easier seeing her smile. She told me before she wasn’t adorable, and yet even with a soggy matted coat and unbrushed mane, her personality still shined through, bright and upbeat, catching me like a moth being drawn to a lamp. Even on Earth she was the most feminine person I’d ever met, and probably the only person I’d ever been romantically attracted to. Just being able to hear the happiness in her voice made my heart melt.
God, I was so infatuated. But it was better to be infatuated than it was to be bitter. I was walking a very fine line.
We continued our way on, the cold not really bothering us as much as I thought it would, until several hours later the sun was rising and shining through the trees. I was getting absolutely exhausted by this point. Not that I wasn’t used to it. It seemed over the last few days I was just in a state of perpetual exhaustion. I was going to be absolutely ripped though once we got to the Crystal Empire if how much my legs hurt was any indication. I was sure Shorey felt the same as me, with how she was dragging her hooves now.
“Can we stop and rest for a while?” I asked. “I can’t keep going like this on no food, and I haven’t had anything to drink since I took in a stomach full of water from that river.”
“Sure, but I think we’re almost there,” she told me. “See the way that hill rises in the distance?” She pointed at something far off, something I couldn’t see. All I saw was more trees and grass, and couldn’t see how she could tell this part of the forest from the next part.
“No?”
“Well, if you could see it, the way it rises makes me think there’s a valley ahead. I would actually put money on it, and some on the Crystal Empire being there. That’s where I would build a city. We should be able to see it with how steep the grade looks from here.”
I wasn’t sure I was following what she was saying, but it sounded like it made sense. I wasn’t sure if I remembered the Crystal Empire being in a valley in the TV show, but things here weren’t one to one with the show anyway. Besides, Rusty Bucket said it would be four or five days until we got there, so that meant we should’ve been very close by now.
I decided to follow what she said and press on, seeing the hill we were coming up to on approach. I could see what she meant when she said we’d be able to see the Crystal Empire at the top of it, because it was a high one. Not particularly steep like she said, but enough that I almost wondered if we were going to be coming up on a cliff to end this forest on. That was something I didn’t have an interest in dealing with again.
Please let us see it, I begged the universe, hoping for one good thing to be brought to me on this adventure. Let us see the Crystal Empire in front of us. Please.
It was longer than I thought before we got to the top, but once we did, we could see everything in front of us. There was indeed a valley like Shorey said there’d be, one complete with a winding river and a few trees that seemed like it was in a perpetual state of good weather. Which made sense, seeing as we could see the Crystal Empire sitting just beyond that, probably fifteen or twenty miles off in the distance from us, looking much bigger than I imagined in the show. It seemed like an actual empire, too, one that stretched across where it sat for what had to be miles. It was much more than the tiny city the TV show had.
The only problem was that it was sitting on a plateau. The valley in front of us looked like it was several hundred feet below us, but the plateau the Crystal Empire sat on had to be a couple thousand above the valley. I didn’t know how steep it was, but it looked like sheer rock on the face we saw of this plateau to get up it. Because, of course, nothing could ever possibly be easy, could it. I was certain the universe was just laughing in my face looking at it, teasing me with the fact that we were almost there.
I wanted to bite my tongue and scream at the sight of it.