Sure enough, it was DJ. He was wearing a long coat, unbuttoned and hanging loose on his more compact form. Underneath, one could make out a plain white shirt and black vest, as well as a small white flower pinned to his shirts lapel and a black eyepatch over his scarred eye. He finally seemed to catch his breath, saying to the other two, "Sorry I'm late. I-"
"Look, it doesn't matter", the Bighorn said. "We'll do our duet, you go backstage and get dressed."
DJ looked at the Bighorn, before down at his own clothes, then back up at him. "What do you mean, get dress?"
"Well look at the way you look!", the Bighorn told him, gesturing somewhat lazily with a hoof.
The Earth Pony said, "Better you don't."
"True", the Bighorn said, grabbing ahold of the coat collar and dragging DJ a short distance across the stage. As he did, music began to play, filtering out from behind the stage.
"🎵Some creatures get dressed, 'cause they like to get dressed🎵", the Bighorn sang, letting go of the collar. "🎵But you get dressed, to get dressed.🎵"
"🎵It's only a hunch, but I'll bet you a bunch", the Earth pony cut in, pointing at the Bighorn. "🎵He's wearin' suspenders, a belt and a vest!🎵" The Bighorn opened up DJ's coat, peering down at the clothes beneath. Seemingly satisfied, he let go and gave an exaggerated nod to the Earth pony, who did the same in return.
"Aw, come on guys", DJ protested. "It doesn't really matter."
The Earth pony shook his head, before replying, "🎵From the tip of your paws, to your head. You look like, an unmade bed.🎵"
"Look, can we just-", DJ began, only to be silenced by the Bighorner placing a hoof to his beak.
The Bighorn told him sternly, "No, we can't. Because-"
"🎵You've either got, or you haven't got, Style!🎵", the Earth pony sang, gesturing to the audience as he did so.
"🎵If you've got it, you stand out a mile!", the Bighorn sang, before reaching down and plucking the flower in DJ's lapel. Despite the apprehensive look on DJ's face, he tossed the flower away, before turning back to DJ. "🎵A flower's not a flower, if it's wilted.🎵"
"🎵A hat's not a hat, 'til it's tilted🎵", the Earth pony sang, tilting his hat. "🎵You've either got, or you haven't got, Class!🎵"
"🎵How it draws, the applause, of the Masses!🎵", the Bighorner echoed.
The two of them grabbed one part of DJ's collar, dragging him to another area of the stage. They sang in unison, "🎵When you wear lapels, like the swellest of swells, you can pass any mirror and, Smile!." They let go, stepping to their original positions, with DJ in the middle, alternating lines: "🎵You've either got, or you haven't got!🎵", "🎵Got, or you haven't got🎵". The two finally got back together, proclaiming: "🎵Style!🎵".
Both of them turned to DJ, who was giving them a quizzical look. "Nah", the Earth pony said. The two of them shoved DJ back, who stumbled behind the curtain and out of sight. The two of them turned around with a flourish, forelegs held wide and walking past one another with fluid motions.
"🎵You've either got, or you haven't got, Style!", the Bighorn sang, swinging his song out towards the audience.
The Earth Pony did the same, his head tilted at a slight angle. "🎵If you've got it, you stand out a Mile!🎵" He then spun around, lowering his hoof and lifting up his sleeve, the light bouncing off a polished bone button. "🎵With mother of Pearl, kind of buttons.🎵"
"🎵You'll look like the Vexillums and Suttons🎵", the Bighorn finished, lowering his own stance.
"The who?", Soundboard asked.
Gallia whispered back, "Prominent families. Just meaning you'll look good, and-Are you taking notes?"
"...No...Maybe."
"🎵You've either got, or you haven't got, Class!🎵", the Earth pony exclaimed, righting himself and clicking his rear hooves together.
The Bighorn did the same, flashing a set of pearly white teeth. "🎵How it draws, the applause, of the Masses!🎵"
"🎵When you wear lapels, like the Swellest of Swells, you can pass any mirror, and smile!🎵", they sang in unison, making exaggerated motions in straightening their ties. Behind them, the curtain parted slightly, and DJ moved onto the stage.
*POOMPF*
"Hey, Flurry", Maraschino said, shifting in his seat in an attempt to see the stage past the large, outstretched wings. "I can't see!"
DJ, as opposed to the casual clothes he had entered in, was now clad in full formal attire. While he still wore a white shirt as a base, it was now cleaner, a white more akin to snow as opposed to the quarried rock of his usual shirt. Over it was a pitch-black blazer, a small rose tucked into the lapel and a white handkerchief folded in the front pocket. A wide-brimmed black hat sat upon his head, balanced almost perfectly over his slicked-back feathers. Even his eyepatch had been replaced, the simple thick leather replaced with smooth black velvet with a fancy filigree along the edges. As he emerged, a simple cane in one paw, he asked, "Do you mind?"
The other two turned to look at him, before turning back to the crowd with exaggerated smiles. "Well!", they said in unison.
DJ took several steps forward, swinging his cane back and forth in his free foreleg. "🎵You've either got, or you haven't got, Charm!🎵"
"🎵Got or you haven't got Charm!🎵", the others sang, clicking their hooves against the floor.
"🎵Style, and Charm, Kinda go arm in arm!🎵", DJ sang, his voice smooth as silk.
The others turned towards the curtain, giving a parting cry of "🎵The kind of go arm in arm!🎵"
DJ now stood in the center of the stage, cane pressed to the floor so as to give him near-perfect balance. His face, unlike his usual guarded frown, was now graced by an easy, relaxed smile. He lifted up the cane, gesturing to the rose. "🎵A flower's not a flower, if it's wilted!🎵" He then raised it higher, sliding his hat up and back along his head. "🎵A hat's not a hat, til it's tilted!🎵"
As he finished, flicking his hat back into position, his two friends came back out onto the stage. They now wore hats similar to DJ's, as well as had their own canes. The three of them moved in tandem, passing the singing down the three of them as easily if they were passing a physical object: "🎵You've either got, or you haven't got, Style!"🎵 🎵"Got, or you haven't got, Style!"🎵 🎵"Got, or you haven't got, Style!🎵"
They altered their direction, now slinging their canes over their shoulders as if they were spears on parade. "🎵If you've got it, you stand out a Mile!"🎵 🎵"Got it, you stand out a mile!"🎵 🎵"Got it, you stand out a mile!🎵"
They slammed their canes into the stage, lifting up their hats and shaking them like tambourines as they sang in unison: "🎵When you wear those duds, Duds with black tie, and studs. Watch them all lining up, Single File!🎵"
Once again, they proceeded in order down the line, each one giving a flourish, a section of the chorus, and a firm slam of their cane: "You've either got, or you haven't got!"🎵 🎵"Got, or you haven't got!"🎵 🎵"Got, or you haven't got!"🎵
They swung around their canes, before removing their hats and swinging them back and forth. 🎵"Got, or you haven't got... STYLE!"🎵 they sang. The music continued to play after the long note died off, with them taking practiced steps back and forth, and one final flourish, before ending in a final pose as the music cut off.
The patrons gave polite claps and encouraging exclamations, including the table Depressi and his friends sat at. When the clapping died down and the three of them left the stage, Flurry turned to Depressi. "You knew this would be happening tonight. That's why you insisted on coming here."
"Partially", Depressi said, taking a sip from his drink. "Partially also because this place has an excellent Fried Lobster. Besides, it's not my fault you're into it."
Flurry blushed, finally forcing her wings to fold. "Look, I-"
"Hey, I'm not telling you to do anything, but this might be your best shot", Depressi said, gesturing to a small table on the far side of the restaurant that DJ and his friends were now piling into.
Flurry sighed, before looking over at Harpoon. The smaller mare nodded, before passing her the small clay cup filled with wine. Flurry took a big gulp of the pungent liquid, wiping her mouth with her hoof before standing up. She grabbed her own drink in her telekinetic grip, gave a heavy sigh, and marched towards DJ.