After blowing up their teacher’s office, with their teacher inside, the first-years understandably went into hiding until lunch, at which point their stomachs got the best of them. The Crazy Mark Crusaders were not at all surprised when Luna herself approached them as they were tucking into their sausages and mash (vegetarian for most).
“So, how’s your first day of lessons going?” Luna asked calmly. “Anything you’d like to tell me about? Maybe to do with a teacher ending up in the infirmary?”
“Oh dear, we’re so sorry to hear that. We were only being polite and returning her property to her after we escaped the escape room she set for us. I’m also surprised that someone who uses elusive to describe themselves would be caught out by a bunch of ten-year-old fillies and hoist with her own petard. Maybe the school needs to hire a new espionage teacher? One who preferably doesn’t use silver on werewolves? My leg is bucking killing me,” Apple Bloom said casually to looks of shock and astonishment from Scootaloo and Ruby.
Luna too stared at Apple Bloom for a moment in astonishment before she joined Screwball in doubling over with laughter. After several anxious minutes she finally spoke. “Oh, I like you. I like you a lot and I’m glad to see Scootaloo is helping you settle in. We can never have to much mischief and chaos around here.” She ruffled the Pegasus filly’s mane and dropped the five bits onto the table. “Keep up the great work all of you, especially you two.” She pointed at Apple Bloom and Ruby. “Great leadership in art and Ruby, an excellent lecture on brewing vodka, I’m sure your mother is very proud with your progress. Just try not to threaten your fellow classmates too much. Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my own lunch.”
And with that she began to trot away only to pause and turn her head and attention back towards them. “And make sure you visit Zecora for that silver burn, I’m sure she’ll have a poultice that will help it heal. Just remember girls, I see, hear and know everything in this school. Nothing ever evades me.”
And after a blink-and-you’d-miss-it glance at Scootaloo, Luna was gone.
Scootaloo swallowed a mouthful of food practically without chewing and looked across at Ruby as Apple Bloom slumped in her chair.
“Thank goodness that’s over. Even her sheer presence is intimidating,” Apple Bloom admitted.
Scootaloo barely heard her as she continued staring at Ruby. “Do you think…”
“Oh, she definitely knows,” Ruby chuckled in reply.
“Fuck,” Scootaloo swore.
“And I’ll have those,” Ruby added swiping the five bits Luna had left for Scootaloo away from her.
*
“So wait, you’re telling me this whole time you were just acting tough to try and fit in?” Scootaloo asked, turning on Apple Bloom as they left the dining hall.
“To a degree, yeah. I realised after our first encounter with Nightmare Moon that you can’t show any weakness at St Trineighans for fear of that weakness being used against you. But I can’t explain it…”
“Oh, I know exactly what you mean sister. Becoming a werewolf does that to you. It’s called being set free. Everypony has this raw wildness locked up inside of them but very few ever have the padlock unlocked. You suddenly feel like you could take on the world and if anypony even tries to stand in your way, you’ll just throw them aside. Am I right or am I right?” Ruby interjected.
Apple Bloom looked at the other werewolf completely taken aback. “Yeah, you nailed it, I feel like something’s been unleashed inside me and now nothing can stop me.”
“That’s it exactly,” Ruby chortled.
“Shit,” Scootaloo groaned. “Just please don’t go do a Ruby. And keep the howling down to a minimum. I don’t think any of us want to be deaf by the time we leave…”
“AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Ruby howled
“AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Apple Bloom replied.
And then, one by one, all of the other werewolves that attended the school started to join in.
Scootaloo’s hooves were now plastered to her ears, “RUUUUUUUUUUBYYYYYYYYYYYY,” she wailed, barely audible above the din.
*
“Moooon,” Scootaloo whined upon entering the infirmary, “save me from these two,”
Moon giggled and looked up from the notes Ruby had given her earlier. “Let me guess. By 'these two' you mean Ruby and that other werewolf and that Ruby started that howl a short while back?”
Scootaloo simply nodded in reply as she pulled up a chair next to Moon. “So, how’s the recovery going?”
“Painful but hopefully I’m over the worst of it. Thankfully none of the breaks were too bad and Mum was able to fix them with her magic. Still been told I can’t risk walking for two weeks and flying for a month. Being grounded for so long is going to suck. Oh, sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” Moon blurted sheepishly remembering Scootaloo couldn’t fly.
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Scootaloo replied not at all fussed. “I’m just glad you’re getting better and that you didn’t cause any serious damage to your wing because, as you stated, being grounded sucks. Might I also ask when did you start referring to your parents as mums again? You finally managed to bury the hatchet? I know you were pretty peeved about the whole being an accident thing.”
“Yeah, me and Luna finally talked it out last night and hopefully Starlight will be along later tonight to do similar, I just hope she doesn’t try to use the same underhoofed tactics as my other mum did.” Moon shuddered just from bringing it up.
“Oh?” Scootaloo replied with a merciless grin, a twinkle in her eye. “And what might those be?”
“She threatened to go into explicit detail about what she and Starlight got up to the night I was conceived. Simply put, her twisted version of the talk,” Moon said solemnly in reply, finishing with another shudder.
Scootaloo burst out laughing.
“It was not funny,” Moon grumbled. “How would you like it… ah shit, just forget that. I’m sorry.”
Scootaloo, noting the sudden shift in tone in Moon’s voice, stopped laughing and looked at her friend concerned. “Sorry for what?” she pressed.
“For, you know, ah Tartarus with it. What’s it like not having any parents or family?” Moon blurted.
Scootaloo looked at her friend taken aback for a moment and then shrugged her shoulders. “I have parents and a family, just a different sort. Just because they aren’t my biological ones doesn’t mean we don’t love each other as much. In fact, I think they love me even more. They could have left me for dead or turned me to stone but instead took me in and raised me as one of their own. Then, when the time came for me to move on, they moved too so they could stay in touch. That doesn’t mean I don’t think about what could have been or what happened to my real parents because I do, all the time, but when those thoughts pop into my head I just remind myself of what my adoptive family has done for me and that makes me realise just how lucky I am to have any family that cares so much for me and who have always wanted the best for me no matter what. Family isn’t solely about blood; it’s those ponies, or cockatrices in my case, who care the most about you and only want what’s best for you. And, I’m sorry if I’m overstepping here, but both of your mums fit into that category. Yeah, they may be super busy with the school but if somepony ever bullied you and you went crying to their door in the middle of a super important meeting, they’d postpone the meeting and hunt that pony down before sending them to Tartarus, literally.”
Moon chuckled at that last part unable to help herself. “I’m not sure even Celestia could overlook that last one.”
“But I can tell from your reaction that you know it’s true and that’s why I’m so glad you’ve stopped this silly charade after so long. Anyhow, enough of the mushy stuff because I bet you’ll be doing a lot more of that later tonight with Starlight, when she arrives. Just to warn you, she might be a little late.”
“Oh, and why’s that?” Moon enquired.
“Madam Trixie’s lesson was what would be classed as an extreme version of an escape room.”
Moon looked extremely unhappy when her godmother’s name was brought up. “What did that annoying bitch do? And please tell me you put her in her… ahh, sorry mum,” Moon added suddenly seeing her mother appear at the end of the bed. And then she saw a rather sorry looking Trixie and growled, “What’s she doing here?”
Trixie glowered back at the filly before announcing, “The elusive and mysterious Madam Trixie has just been released after an accident in her office and Starlight has offered to help me fix things up after seeing you first. I also came to tell the chicken her friends have been seen…”
Trixie got no further as Scootaloo turned her to stone. “Oops, my bad. I would stay and turn her back to normal but if I don’t hurry…” Starlight gave her a telling look as Moon tried to stifle her laughter with a hoof. “Oh fine,” Scootaloo conceded turning Trixie back to normal before rising to leave. “Apologies Madam Trixie, us chickens don’t have the biggest brains and can often act before we think. Glad to see you’re okay after we so kindly returned your bomb with interest. Have a great night.”
And before Trixie had a chance to regain her bearings and retaliate, Scootaloo had ducked through the curtains and back into the main part of the infirmary. It took every last ounce of her restraint not to collapse onto the floor with laughter as she laid eyes on the sight before her.
“One word, just one word and I’ll rip that smug smile of your face with my claws,” Apple Bloom said coldly. “The cones are to stop us from messing with the poultice Madam Zecora applied to our burns because damn does it sting. She had to muzzle and restrain us when applying it as it hurt that much. It was ten times worse, if not more, than having my tail chopped off. I would have howled the place down if I could have.”
“Damn straight, although I don’t see why I had to have it applied. My burns aren’t nearly as bad as yours,” Ruby grumbled from her own cone of shame.
“You know as well as I do that even the smallest of wounds if left untreated over time can leave a pony depleted,” Zecora’s voice interrupted, her head popping out from behind a curtain. “Now be off with you, I have a lot of work to do.”
*
To some surprise no pony commented on Apple Bloom’s and Ruby’s unusual headwear as they entered the classroom for languages, no doubt Ruby’s warning from earlier was still lingering in their minds.
As the class settled down a sky-blue earth Pony mare with an unkempt greyish blue mane started writing on the chalkboard at the front of the class in beautiful handwriting.
Bark bark growl woof Awooo. Awoo growl bark bark growl Mrs. Screwloose.
Everypony stared at the blackboard in stunned silence. Everypony that is except Apple Bloom, Ruby and Screwball.
As the lesson went on, those that were lucky managed to fall asleep whilst those that were not found their brains totally scrambled and turned to mush as Screwloose went through the canine alphabet. Now, to any that don’t know, canine is considered a chaotic language. Unless you’re a canine, completely insane or Fluttershy, the language sounds like total nonsense and makes no sense at all no matter how hard you try to learn it. Heck, even attempting to learn it would likely drive one insane and not even Luna herself could comprehend it in the slightest. So why did she let Screwloose teach it? Five reasons.
1. She felt sorry for the poor mare driven mad through no fault of her own.
2. She actually was an exceptionally good Equestrian language teacher before the accident and those few that could understand her ramblings actually found them extremely useful in understanding canine. Furthermore, bizarrely she was still exceptionally gifted in written language and Luna would often task her with writing letters to foreign dignitaries for her.
3. For the slim few that could understand the language the class was extremely useful in mastering it and many werewolves who passed through the school continued to use it in future, particularly when writing confidential documents or in situations when you don’t want somecreature to know just what you are talking about.
4. For those that could not understand the language the lessons were a great way to improve mental resilience and if any students did go insane along the way it wasn’t a huge problem as they were then able to understand canine.
5. And most importantly, it was hilarious.
By the end of the lesson Sweetie had fallen asleep, totally disinterested, and Scootaloo, at a total loss from the very beginning, had decided to cut her losses and continue her practice of transferring cockatrice from solely a spoken language to a written one instead. The remainder of the crazy mark crusaders however had all taken diligent notes, enraptured by the extraordinary lesson. As Screwloose came over to reward the only three students who had managed to pay attention throughout the entire lesson with gold stars and provide them with their homework assignment, she paused momentarily looking over Scootaloo’s shoulder.
Then, to Scootaloo’s disbelief, Screwloose grabbed a spare quill in her mouth and corrected something Scootaloo had been trying to solve without success for the past ten minutes. After giving Scootaloo’s notebook a gold star as well she returned to the front of the class in silence.
Slowly Scootaloo came out of her stupor and saw that from seemingly out of nowhere a book with strange writing on it had appeared next to her notebook. If that wasn’t peculiar enough, Scootaloo immediately understood the writing and nearly fell out of her chair in shock. It was written in cockatrice. Surely not? She hastily flipped the book open and as she flicked through several pages with a wing, she was transfixed by what she found. The entire thing was seemingly written in cockatrice. Screwloose had written an entire book in cockatrice.
“Oh yeah, mum’s good with languages. She might only be able to speak dog now but she used to be a professor of Ancient and Modern Languages at Manehattan University until the accident and could speak countless different ones, including griffin, yak and even dragon. Her minds not totally there anymore but on occasions she’s still lucid enough to learn another and continue her studies. I’m guessing she must have been studying cockatrice ever since I told her about you. Wow, she even translated the book she gave us for you. How thoughtful!” Screwball informed Scootaloo peering over the other filly’s shoulder to see what had her so transfixed.
“Yeah, this is incredible,” Scootaloo muttered, barely able to form the words in her mouth she was that taken aback by the gift.
“Oh, and by the way, you're it,” Screwball added with a titter.
“What?” Scootaloo replied, slowly regaining her senses.
It was only then that she noticed every other pony, even Sweetie, who was still snoring softly with her head resting gently upon the table, had placed a hoof upon their nose.
“Nuts, what’s the forfeit?” Scootaloo sighed.
“You have to wipe the chalkboard clean,” Screwball replied.
“That it?” Scootaloo replied sceptically. “That sounds too easy.”
“Well, unless you want to use your hoof, you’ll have to fight mum for the eraser,” Screwball pointed out.
And that was when Scootaloo noticed where the eraser was, gripped in Mrs. Screwloose’s mouth, the mare waiting patiently for somepony to try and take it from her.
Scootaloo looked around desperately for support and found none.