//------------------------------//
// Pinkie's Surprise Party 
// Story: Baking Bad 
// by XMark 
//------------------------------//

	There were piles upon piles of evidence on Applejack's desk related to the ongoing investigation of Crystal Spark activity in Ponyville, but she might as well have been staring at a brick wall all day. She couldn't piece together anything, even though her gut was telling her that something big was going down. Even bigger than the rumored dragon sighting last night.
Suddenly she felt Rainbow Dash's hoof on her left shoulder, and Rainbow Dash's chin on her right shoulder. "Hey, AJ! Working hard or hardly working?"
"Uh... mind givin' me a little personal space there, sugarcube?"
Rainbow Dash backed up. "Geez, sorry AJ."
"Ah didn't mean nothin' by it, it's just there's been some rumors goin' around the office lately 'bout us. Some ponies here think the two of us are, uh, well, ya know... really close."
"Well, duh! We're super close! BFFs forever! Team Appledash for the win!"
"Ah don't mean that. Ah mean, uh... they think that you're a... you know.. and that I'm also... uh... ya know."
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "I don't quite get what you're trying to say."
"Don't you go makin' me say it out loud now" said Applejack, visibly uncomfortable.
Rainbow crossed her forelegs and gave Applejack a hard stare.
"Ya know, never mind, let's change the subject. It ain't important"
Rainbow continued to stare, and Applejack was starting to squirm uncomfortably.
"Well.. uh.. the thing they're sayin' is... uh... that, like, in addition to... uh... our professional relationship and, uh, friendship, that we also sometimes, uh..."
Rainbow suddenly broke down laughing. "Oh, you should see the... hahaha... you should see the look on your face!"
Now it was Applejack's turn to be confused. "What in the hay?"
"Half of Ponyville thinks I'm a filly-fooler! I've known that forever! I just don't say anything about it 'cause it's fun to leave 'em guessing! You would not believe how many mares tried to get with me back in my Wonderbolts days."
"Oh" said Applejack, blushing. "Ah didn't know that."
"I won't lie to you. I tried it out a bit. Wasn't really my thing. Anyway, back on the job now, I came here to let you know that Gilda disappeared."
That was a sudden shock to Applejack's system. "What? Ah thought you were followin' her after she got outta the dungeon."
"Yeah, but some genius had the bright idea to have an Earth pony agent follow her. No offense."
"None taken."
"So anyway, first opportunity she got, she flew away, and that's the last that anypony anywhere knows about her. My guess is she's keeping a low profile, but I know she's not going to stay quiet for long. It's not her style..."
Rainbow noticed that Applejack was looking over her shoulder. She turned around to see what she was looking at.

Shining Armor had walked in the front door, in his full uniform. Ponies stood up in their desks to salute him. Applejack and Rainbow Dash did as well.
"At ease." said Shining Armor quietly, and everyone in the office returned to their work, looking about twice as busy as they had been before he walked in.
In the few seconds since his entrance, Applejack had already picked up on a subtle difference in his demeanor.  He seemed not to hold himself as surely as he normally did. And his voice sounded weak. At least for the two words she had heard. Seeing the two of them, Shining Armor walked their direction. As he walked he was looking at the floor. That was also strange.
"AJ, Rainbow Dash. I know there's a big ongoing case, but my visit to Ponyville is just personal... How is she?"
They looked at each other, confused.
"Beggin' yer pardon but... who?" asked Applejack.
He raised his head and looked at both of them in surprise. "My sister. She hasn't told you?"
Applejack had a terrible feeling in her gut. A brief look at Rainbow told her that she felt the same.
Shining Armor continued. "Yesterday, Spike sent a message to Princess Celestia for the first time since Twily left Canterlot. It was sealed and addressed to me, so she passed it to me without looking at it herself." his voice started to waver. "Twily's... dying."

-

Pinkie Pie followed Twilight Sparkle down into the basement. There was a large blood stain on the far end, and a blood trail leading to the storage room, where Twilight had dragged Trixie's body. The sudden realization of what they had done hit Pinkie. She sat down, staring at where the blood trail disappeared under the door. It seemed as if the room went dark. Her eyes began to turn to either side slowly, and her hair suddenly went straight, like it had suddenly deflated. The world swirled in undulating patterns around her. She began to grin, feeling a strange compulsion to laugh at just how ridiculous the situation was.
Giggle at the ghostie.
She stood up, walked to the storage room door, and pushed it open. Inside were Gilda and Trixie, sitting at a small table eating cupcakes. They both turned their heads to look at Pinkie, who started giggling uncontrollably.
"Oh, you guys!" said Pinkie between giggling fits. "You were just joking around! Well, you got me!"
"Surprise!" said Trixie, using her magic to create miniature fireworks in the room. "Happy one-third-birthday!"
"Omigosh!" said Pinkie, skipping happily to the table with them. "I can't believe you remembered that today's exactly one third of the way to my next birthday from my last birthday! This is great!"
She thought she could hear the faint echo of Twilight's voice in the background.

-

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight yelled desparately. "Snap out of it! And put them down!"
Pinkie grabbed Trixie by the neck and pulled her up. "Did you hear something?" she said, mimicking Trixie's voice while wobbling her head around.
She dropped Trixie and responded to herself. "I think it sounded a bit like Twilight."
Pinkie suddenly jerked upward with a creepy smile, and shrank back down again. She grabbed Gilda by the beak, and moved the top of it up and down, mimicking Gilda's voice. "Oh, is Twilight coming? Please tell me you invited her!"
"Pinkie, this is not funny!" said Twilight.

-

"Oh, that's funny" said Trixie, pointing behind Pinkie.
Pinkie turned around to see a tiny little purple mouse on the counter. It was jumping up and down and yelling something with its tiny little squeaky voice. Pinkie leaned in to take a closer look.
"Pinkie! Cut that out and come back into the real world!" yelled the mouse.
"Wow, you can talk? I've never seen a purple mouse who can talk before. In fact, I've never seen a purple mouse, or a talking mouse, so this is new and exciting in a couple of ways at once. You know, this reminds me of a song that I just made up right now..."
"No! Don't..."
"Weeeeeelllllll....
There's a mouse in the house and it's squeaking words at me,
There's a mouse in the house and it speaks eloquently,
There's a teeny little mouse in this teeny bakery,
And it's speaking while it's squeaking and it's purple as can beeeeeeeeeee!"
"What in the hoof are you babbling about?" squeaked the odd little purple talking mouse.
"You, silly! You're just the cutest little thing. Right Gilda? Right Trixie?"
Gilda and Trixie responded one after another. "Yeah!"
"I. Am. Twilight. Sparkle." insisted the tiny purple mouse.
"You know, you do kind of look like Twilight, except for the being a mouse part. You must get that all the time."
The mouse instantly grew a pony-sized hoof which smacked Pinkie in the face.
Reeling from the pain, Pinkie suddenly...

Hiya!
AAAAGH! Geez... Pinkie!? You startled me! And you interrupted me mid-sentence.
Sorry. I think Twilight knocked me the wrong way.
The wrong way?
Yeah, I was going all kooky and Twi was trying to smack me back into my senses but I got confused and went the other way instead, so I'm here talking to you. Cool, huh?
You know, we pulled this fourth wall-breaking gimmick a couple chapters ago. I think it's getting a little tired.
You're probably right. I should get out of here. Hit me!
What?
It's the only way to wake me up! I know which way to go this time! C'mon, punch me right in the face real hard!
I don't want to hit you. You're a cute little pink pony. I just... can't.
Do you want this story to continue or not?
Oh all right. Shit, I don't even know how to write this. Might as well keep it in past-tense.

Then I punched Pinkie in the face.

-

Pinkie dropped the two bodies and froze. She looked around, seeing the room, the bodies, and Twilight. "This... this is real. We did this."
"Pinkie, you have to listen to me." said Twilight, her hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself for any of this. It's all on me. I got you into this situation. I killed Gilda and Trixie. Now, we just have to work together to get this problem solved. We have to find a way to get rid of these bodies."
Twilight was caught off guard by a loud knocking sound coming from upstairs.
"I'll ignore that..." said Pinkie. "The sign outside says we're closed."
Before Twilight could say anything back, the knocking came again, this time accompanied by the familiar voice of Rainbow Dash. "Pinkie Pie! Are you in there? I need to talk to you! It's about Twilight and it's very important!"
Twilight froze for a moment, then thought of her letter to Shining Armor, and realized what Rainbow Dash now knew. "Pinkie. Go upstairs. Talk to her. I'll wait down here for you."
Pinkie nodded and walked up the stairs.

As she waited in the basement for Pinkie's return and their inevitable conversation about her illness, Twilight occupied her mind. She had two objectives - one was to dispose of the two bodies in a way that nopony would ever find them. The other was to finish what they started. They still had a batch of Spark on hand, and most of the ingredients necessary to finish a second batch. They just needed to repair the balloon that they had stashed in the Everfree Forest, and they needed to replenish their supply of parasprite wings that she had used for the explosion in the...
That was it! Twilight had the perfect idea to take care of two problems at once.

The solemn look on Pinkie's face confirmed Twilight's suspicions. She knew about her condition, and by now everypony in Ponyville probably did.
Pinkie struggled to keep her voice steady, holding back tears. "I... I know why you're... you're doing this now... I understand."
"I'm sorry. I should have told you but I..."
Pinkie finally lost control and started crying so hard that Twilight could literally see fountains of tears spraying from her eyes. Then in the blink of an eye the tears stopped, Pinkie's hair popped back into its usual poofy shape, and her fur seemed to regain its usual color. "Okey dokey lokey. Let's get back to work!"
"Wow. That was... fast. Why are you..."
"We're the good guys! There's a good reason for what we're doing! Bad stuff happened, and that made me sad. And you're sick, and that made me sad too. But I'm no use moping around like a sad little saddy pie. As long as we do things for the right reason, everything is gonna be AOK! So what's the plan?"
Twilight was always amazed at how quickly Pinkie's mood could change. It was enough to make her head spin, but she just went with it, something which years of knowing Pinkie had taught her to do. "Pinkie, how many musical instruments do you have now?"