//------------------------------//
// Masquerader 1.3 
// Story: A Real Hero 
// by Writer87 
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I hadn't wasted any time after making that final request of mine. I urged them to sign the contract quickly before the presence of the other ponies in the room. A quick flash of light, two papers and a quill later, both the princesses and I had our selective signed papers.

The gist of it was that while I was unable to use my powers as a Noble to interfere with the laid-out laws of the land, I would still have the status of one.  My stipend of one and a half million bits per year was also put into effect. I could not do any harm against Equestria as a whole, such as taking up arms against the nation or allying with a country who wishes to do so.

Which was all good with me. Why would I attack the people paying me?

And as for why I had this whole contract thing signed with two copies?

I needed insurance that the princesses wouldn't simply turn around and claim that I was talking shit out of my ass the second I stepped out of this room. Even if the princesses thought otherwise... I wasn't so trusting. My words against theirs; even if I was a hero, I was an alien, and these guys were the sovereign rulers of the nation. It would take literal magic for me to get even a single vote.

Which I was eager to learn, of course. Who wouldn't be?

But good things came to those who took their time, or something like that. Whatever, I didn't have a bunch of quotes memorized in my head. I was lying on the bed in my new room, provided courtesy of two royal princesses. I had a king-sized bed and full access to a private bath in the back. Next to my bed were dressers filled with clothes. None of them fit me since I wasn't a pony. I made note to get a tailor to make me some new ones; I didn't feel like reusing my underwear over and over again.

I left what little possessions I had brought with me - a pen and a few assorted coins - and hopped into the bath. 

"Ahhh..." I let out a moan of pleasure, sinking further into the hot, warm bath. This was just what the doctor ordered. "I wonder what the food here will would be like. Food prepared for royals..." I wiped off drool from the corner of my mouth.

Despite not being particularly hungry, entertaining the thought of eating something brought pleasure to my mind. I wasn't going to deny that I was a glutton, blame my high metabolism for that little error.

But what to do after eating? I think I'd probably hit whatever libraries were here for their repository of magical knowledge. I know I should be sleepy, but screw sleep! How could I sleep knowing that the secret to arcane knowledge was literally at my fingertips? And I'd definitely have to learn swordplay later. Well, I don't have to, but it has always been a childish dream of mine.

What's stopping me from indulging in it? Rather, the circumstances are pushing me to do so.

The door to my room opened behind me and I let out a totally manly scream as I reached out and grabbed whatever I could substitute as a weapon. Namely, a back scratcher. Looking at it made my brain freeze in place, though. How did ponies with no hands use something like this; it looked like something taken straight out of a store back home. I pushed that thought aside for now. If I pondered too much on this, I'd start wondering about the doorknobs, handles and spears and lose my mind trying to make sense of it all.

The person in question was a light-teal colored pony with a mane a darker color than her skin. She had a maid headband and the image of a maid outfit tattooed on her ass. She had big wide, cartoony eyes and freckles spattered on her face. I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that this isn't some really angry pony here to smother me to death in my bath.

"Hero..."

"Jack." While I had only told the princesses my name, I was surprised that they hadn't spread it out across the public, the very least being those within the castle. I could only wonder why. "Wait, actually. What the hell are you doing in here?" I asked the most important question. Especially since it meant she'd have to have opened my closed door.

"Apologies, Hero Jack. I am Elizia Soft, and I was sent here by the princesses to give you aid if you need it," Eliza Soft, said, looking at me with curious eyes. 

Soft. Weird last name, but I've heard of stranger ones. "Um, what are you? Room services, cleaner?"

"I'm a maid, sir." There was a pregnant pause before she asked, " I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but exactly what are you?"

"Little old me?" I let dropped the back scratcher and put a glob of soap in my hands. "I'm a human, not exactly native these parts. If you want a simplification, just think of us as smarter monkeys." That was way over a 'simplification', but I was pretty sure there weren't any other humans here to correct me on that.

"A hooman?" She drawled out the syllables, like a toddler learning a new word. And to be fair, she was learning a new one right now. 

"That's me." I dumped the gollop unto my hair. "Now if you don't, could you like leave? I don't need help cleaning up myself - my parents stopped doing that years ago - and I kind of like my privacy."

I left out the part where it was just unnerving to me to have a cartoon pony just sit stare, staring at you while you took your bath. I didn't like it when it was done to me by people, of course, but the cartoony factor just turned uncanny valley up to eleven.

The implications of our current situations seemed to suddenly dawn on Elizia, who hurriedly left the room while apologizing all the way to the door.

I sank back into the bath, washing the suds out of my hair. Finally, some peace and quiet. Just what the doctor ordered.  The last hot bath I had was around three years ago, when I had flown over to Japan by virtue of a school trip. Of course, I couldn't allow myself to go home without experiencing one of their 'onsen's. That was great, but this felt much better, and I felt my eyes close in utter bliss, almost pulling me back to sleep.

The difference in quality between royals and the higher class was nothing to scoff at.

I may have just ended up going to sleep if it wasn't for my need for food and my stomahc reminding me that I hadn't eaten anything that morning.

I rose out of the bath and after toweling myself off, I put my clothes back on, shirt and all. I saw something that looked suspiciously like a perfume on the dresser, and sniffed it. Well, it didn't really smell all too bad to me - a lot like lightly scented roses, to be honest - so I sprayed it once on each elbow. Anything had to be better than my morning funky smell.

I stepped out of my room to find Elizia, along with two other guards standing there. Do these guys not get bored or anything? They definitely weren't talking to each other, as I heard nothing through the door. I didn't even see a magazine or book, or well. Anything.

"Had fun waiting?" I nodded to both of the guards with a smile, hiding my surprise and turned to Elizia. "Mind leading me to the eating area? This is a pretty big castle and I don't want to end up having to waste all day being hungry."

"Of course, Hero. Just follow me." Elizia began to trot her little self forward and I followed her into the titanic hallway, noticing after a few momenets that they had fallen in step behind us.

I walked up Elizia and bent down, whispering, "Are those two babysitters going to follow me everywhere?" Without even turning, I could feel their eyes staring down at my back. I could already feel a rather annoying itch causing my hand to clench up into a fist.

"For now, Hero. You're the hero, so we have to make sure that you're kept safe for at least the first few days you're here," she said back in a hushed tone.

Kept safe? I smiled drily at that. I doubted that those two were following me out of the pure-hearted intentions of their ruler. Rather, them being stationed to watch and keep track of my doings was something I was far more inclined to believe. I opted not to tell Elizia that the ponies behind me would probably beat me half to death if I showed any hostile intentions as it wouldn't do anything but give her more stress.

They were probably more likely to smother me to death with a pillow, but I you get the gist.

I'm still not too sure how they would be able to use those spears though, you need hands for those...

Okay, nope. Not going along that train of thought again. Better to not poke the vegetable that may turn out to be a dragon.

I tuned out that line of thought and focused on the palace of... Equestria? Whatever, Castle E for now. The whole place shone with a sense of importance that one might've rather expected from a church. Windows opened up to views of what I assumed to be the Royal Garden, each sight equally as impressive as they showcased unique, colorful flowers. They had some strange stone carvings though. I waved it off as Royal eccentries. 

The walls around me appeared to radiate a kind of warm, soothing warmth that seeped into my bones, pushing me into a state of ease. Natural light from above illuminated the many paintings and tapestries that lined the walls. I may have not been close enough to read any of the writing underneath, but each one seemed to portrait an important event in the past or some pony of seemingly high standard.

Strangely enough, there weren't as many pictures as Luna as there were of Celestia on the walls. But whether or not that was because of her lack of conceitedness or because we weren't in the main area was something to be found out.

"There is the throne room, but you probably already know that. Princess Celestia's personal dining room is over there to the right, and her sisters is right next to it..." Elizia continued to tell me where all the important rooms are, where the halls we walked in led to. I tried my best to keep note of everything she said, but by the time we passed the fourth near-identical corridor I was ready to call it a lost cause.

I was summoned to be a hero, not to take notes again in class! Those notes never did help me much, I must add. There was a reason as to why my cheating was an open secret to the students.

"That's too much," I said, raising a hand. I pointed to the hall where the throne room was said to be. "That is Corridor T." I turned to Celestia and Luna's rooms. "That is Corridor P." 

Elizia stopped to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "Hero, with names like that..."

"I'm a very busy person." A throat was cleared behind me at the lack of busy work. "Well, soon to be busy person. I don't have time to remember all these locations specifically."

In the face of my infallible logic, the pony maid Elizia Soft could only sputter out nonsense. "Oh, I see, excellent Hero. The princess is currently wait for you in the Royal Eating Halls to the left over there."

She clearly didn't, but I excused her for her transgressions. One didn't become a genius in a single day; this venture would take time.

The smell alone would've filled up the stomach of a starving man. My mouth was watering before I even set my eyes on the food. Pumpkin spices, sugar, the tangy waft of fruit in the air; I couldn't wait to dig into those dishes.

Elizia walked before me and opened the double doors before I could. Upon looking inside, I can see dish upon dish laid out on the long ornate dining table before me, ready to enter this righteous man's mouth. As I enter, the candid chatter I heard before softened, as several pairs of eyes focused themselves unto me.

At the head of the table, Princess Celestia herself is looking me right in the eye. I can see other ponies that I assume to be either nobles or high ranking officials in the room as well whispering among themselves.

"So that's the thing Celestia summoned..."

"I've heard that it treats the princesses without the respect she desires."

"Why should she bring a barbarian here to save us? Was it a mistake?"

I ignored the sounds of that useless chatter and took a seat towards the furthest end of the table. There wasn't anyone else at the table except for me and the princess at the table, so unless if there were a bunch of rooms like this scattered around the building, I'm going to guess that this was made just with me in mind.

"Hello, Princess." Finishing my quick introductions, I finally seized my food. It had long cooled off, but I was hungry enough not to care. I decided to start with the hash-browns, starting out small. However, when it touched my tongue, it was just wrong. The texture was too rough, too dry and it lacked flavor; I spew it out into a napkin, slid the hash-browns away from me and swore never to touch them again.

"Are you alright, Hero?" Celestia asked, sounding concerned. Her horn was a lit with an ethereal yellow glow.

I held a finger to silence her, and quickly washed down the sour taste with a glass of chocolate milk I found to my left. This time there were no unwelcome surprises for me to meet. You're my one true friend... As expected, the glorious chocolate milk never disappointed, even in another world.

"Just was in that thing?" I can feel my face contort into a grimace just thinking about those 'hash-browns'.

Celestia to her credit, looked more curious than confused. "Even if they're of a higher grade, those hash-browns should contain what they usually do: eggs, oil, hay, potat-"

"Did you just say hay?"

"Yes, why?" A look of understanding flashed across her features. "Can humans not eat hay?"

"No, we can't. Our bodies just aren't built to take it; we'd probably sooner choke than digest any of it at all." I fiddled with a flab of pancakes with a fork, using it to pry the pancake open and see inside. "Is there any hay in the rest of this food?"

Better to know before I got a bunch of syruped hay down my throat. Now that would be a pretty embarrassing way to go out. The only upside would be that I hadn't made myself known to that many ponies so my shame would be contained for the most part.

She rose a hoof to her chin to ponder for a moment. "Not as far as I know."

Good enough for me. Giving the daisies on the table a wide side-eye, I began eating the pancakes with great gusto, forgoing the fork and knives for only my hands. Seeing the widening eyes on Celestia's face, I opt to explain myself.

"You see I could use forks. But I won't." I wiggled each of my fingers. "God gave me these things for a reason."

"I see..." I washed down a pancake with a glass of cold chocolate milk before starting on another one. "Well, seeing as you have just only arrived in this world, I plan to give you a week of res-"

"No need for any of that. I don't need rest." What would I even do? Just walk around here looking a mad pony's science experiment gone wrong? I didn't like not not having something to do, it made me antsy. Besides, it would bring my reputation among the ponies down. "It wouldn't do me any good as the Hero to appear lazy, after all."

"Oh, I see that you are definitely eager to get to training." she chuckled, saying the next few words underneath her breath. "Even moreso than some of my own little ponies. But let them know I said that."

"Of course, I am. Why would I slack off when I know that someone is going to destroy the world?" I will not let them ruin my fun. "Although I have to admit, I'm excited to learn about magic."

Celestia quickly read between the lines. "Does your world not have magic?"

I nodded. "Unless if you count backstage shows as magic, but that's far from the real thing.  At least to compensate we are much more technologically advanced than you guys appear to be."

The sun princess looked like she was about to say something, but hesitated. I knew that kind of hesitation: when you have something to say, but decide that situation isn't right for it. While I was curious about what she was about to say, I didn't push her on it.

"How have you humans dealt with the world without magic then?" She cast a lingering look at a slice of cake to his right. "I'm going to assume advances in technology were had, correct?"

How do you know what I am? I never told you that. I'm pretty sure I had only told the maid that information, and she hadn't stayed around long enough to exchange any words with Celestia, retreating back to the door as soon as I settled myself down.

But then again, this was a world of magic... I couldn't exactly take anything at face value anymore. She could've possibly have just ridden their minds, which was a thought I did not find comforting in the slightest. 'Humans' could've been written in some summoning book somewhere as well.

Something to look into later.

"Yeah, we coped with our clear lack of fantasy power with good ol' science, grit and fire." I said, moving on to the cake. "Not to be insulting or anything, but you ponies are probably like at the very least... a thousand years behind us." It could've been less than that, but I hadn't seen the world outside of the castle.

"A thousand years?" Celestia repeated. "Oh my..."

"Your dependency on magic is probably the reason why," I shrugged, pushing a half. "Even if you guys are pretty 'outdated', I know many people who'd give up technology for magic in a heartbeat." Me, included.

"Ponies will always yearn for what they can not have," Celestia chuckled, her voice at that moment reminding me knowing mother. "I guess something will never change, even between worlds. How was your meal?"

"Tell your chef to always make my chocolate milk cold, never again feed me hay and that he could add some crunchyness to my waffles next time. Otherwise," I got up from my seat, grabbing a waffle as I do so. "Compliments to the chef. Just as good as I expected. Would've been disappointed if it wasn't, this is a royal place and all."

Celestia smiled at my words. "I'll be sure to pass the message along him. Now if you don't mind answering, what do you plan on doing now that you've eaten?"

I gave Celestia a knowing grin, pointing a finger up at the ceiling for emphasis. "To the training grounds! My training arc must start as soon as possible!" It was crucial that I amassed as much power as I could, as quickly as I could. Unlike the usual hacks that get transmigrated into other worlds, I wasn't granted with some special ability to go along with it.

While it put me at a disadvantage, it only meant that my effort would actually be meant something, unlike the achievements of the multitude of other talentless hacks.

"Elizia," I said, the pony perking up at my words. "Please take me to the training grounds. I think it's time that I got some..." I grinned. "Formal instruction."

"Jake," Celestia began before we left. "If you wish to, I could save you your time and have you directly teleported to the training arena from here."

I waved my hand, disregarding the offer. "Thanks but I think it's better if I Iearn how to move around here on my own. I'd be lost if I had you teleport me everywhere and then weren't around to teleport me."





The colors were too bright.

I hadn't noticed before on account of there being more pressing things on my mind, but now, with walking through the hallways for so long I couldn't ignore it. I was seriously in some little girl's dream home. The place had enough baby pink, yellow and white to last a child at least two-hours before they got bored again.

"Is something wrong, Hero?" Elizia asked upon noticing my stare.

"I dunno, it's just that this place is just really... bright for a castle," I replied. "The colors don't really strike me much as royalty at all."

"Really?" She asked, intrigued. "If you don't mind me asking, what was royalty like in your world?"

"Well for one, we definitely didn't have bright colors like these," I replied. Really, what kind of rulers would go for something so... girly? Childish? "We went more with blue and gold. Less bright, more dark, more..." Structured. I left that word unsaid.

"That sounds a lot like the royal family in the past."

The past? Even if things had been changing before the princesses had gotten into power, it would definitely take years, decades at the very least, for the theme of the royals to change.

I spoke out the pressing question in my mind. "Just how old are Celestia and Luna?"

"The princess..." Elizia let out a hum, as she paused to bring a forelimb to her chin. "I know that they are both at least one thousand years, I apologize that I can't provide you with a more exact number, sir Hero."

"A thousand years old?" I echoed. "Are you playing some sort of joke on me right now?"

"No, sir Hero, I am." An inquisitive look grew on her face. "Does no one live that long where you came from?"

"No, but people have tried for thousands of years... and are still trying." I waved a hand half-heartedly. "It may be a possibility in the future of science keeps increasing at its current pace, but we're definitely at the very least, a few hundred years away from anything like that."

"Ooooh..."

And a thousand years was just the bare minimum of how long those two sisters had lived. There could be another couple thousand of years tackled onto that nobody knew about. Knowing this, I resolved myself not to underestimate Luna and Celestia. Colorful world or not, a thousand years was a thousand years, and anyone left ruling a kingdom that long would definitely be a threat to be reckoned with.

Finally, at last we had made it to the training grounds.

"My training arc begins now," I whispered under my breath, a smile growing unto my lips.