"AAAAAAAAHH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!!" Dan fell. Falling into nothing but inky blackness, the only way he could tell he was falling, or what direction down even was, was feeling of total freefall. There wasn't even any wind rushing past him, yet he tumbled end over end downward, deeper into the darkness. It was terrifying to him.
Yet he still reached, grasped with his hands, tried to slow his descent. Everything he could.
Maybe his efforts were in vain, maybe they were rewarded. Either way, a light appeared somewhere below him. It grew and grew and grew until he saw some kind of platform beneath him. If only he could stop himself from falling so fast.
Screw it. He tried flapping his arms.
The light grew and grew and grew in his vision. His eyes were drawn to it as he fell, not that he had anywhere else to look at that moment. Finally he could make out the similar panels as the floor/wall thing he'd been traveling on, and as it came closer, he realized what it was.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! Aaaaaaaaaahh..." Dan began slowing down as it came closer and closer and closer, still descending towards it. And finally, it opened up, and he realized what it was: the box arena he'd just left.
"Aaaaa... aaaaa... ugh."
"Seems pointless, doesn't it? No matter what, you just keep coming back to square one," Rice said. He held up his hand and slowly levitated Dan down to the ground. Didn't seem much of a point to Dan; if he was so powerful and wanted revenge, why not just snap his neck? Another reason Dan thought he was just an idiot mad scientist and not a genius mad scientist.
"Okay, if we're gonna do this I need like... a sandwich and a cold drink before we fight."
Rice's expression, that of mild, smug amusement, did not change. "I'm afraid-"
"NO- no. You shut up." Dan sat down. "I wanna... I want a turkey sandwich and a Tab before the fight. Or a Gatorade."
"What is 'tab?'"
"Forget I said Tab. I want a Gatorade and a turkey sub. Or roast beef. On Italian bread, spicy mustard, no cheese and grilled peppers and onions." Dan's sandwich preference had evolved since Earth. He now occasionally added a few vegetables to his order, preferably grilled or sauteed onions and peppers when they were an option. Because he was a VIP in Equestria, they usually were available.
Rice folded his arms. "You really want your last meal to be from Arby's?"
"It doesn't have to be Arby's," Dan said. "Sub Marine, preferably but I'll take Earl's." In all honesty, Dan preferred it specifically not to be from Arby's. "Look pal, I am squeeing tired, exhausted, I was bounced around in a box at Mach 15 all the way from Ponyville to here, and that little obstacle course you just put me through didn't help either. I want a sandwich now. And a Gatorade."
For a few moments, Rice considered his request. Then, he shrugged and granted it. A sandwich on a blue ceramic plate appeared, along with a drink with ice in a clear glass, and a chair to sit on.
"Oh, thank shit." He took the chair, plate and drink in a single motion, and took a quick bite of the sandwich.
"I suppose I can grant a last meal. It was more than my son ever got. That plate is-"
"Is this red Gatorade?" Dan sniffed at the contents in the glass. "You bought the fruit punch Gatorade?"
"You said you wanted-"
"NO ONE buys the red Gatorade- that's like, the worst one!" Dan complained. "There's the blue one, the green one, the orange one and purple- hell, they even have WHITE! NOBODY BUYS RED GATORADE."
*Disclaimer: some people buy the red fruit punch-flavored Gatorade.
**Disclaimer 2: those people are not known for making good decisions.
***Disclaimer 3: Barro and Rice are two of those people.
"It was available in the mess hall of the base. If you don't want it, don't drink it," Rice said flatly.
Reluctantly, Dan took a sip. He was that thirsty. "Oh gawd, it's like a worse version of Kool-Aid. It tastes like Hawaiian Punch after someone left it out in the sun for an hour."
"Okay," Rice protested, "It's not that bad."
"And then somebody peed in it."
Rice was no longer amused. "I could've poisoned you. I could've POISONED you... why didn't I POISON you?"
Dan looked up, still eating his sandwich. "You might as well have with this red sewage masquerading as a hydrating, electrolyte-replacing sports beverage infused with B vitamins and potassium."
****Disclaimer 4: this story is not endorsed by Gatorade or anything else, but I need money so yeah, it could be if someone wants to sponsor this thing.
"Also, if you wanted to poison me, you could've just put cheese on it," Dan said.
"Ah, but you're not lactose-intolerant any more," Rice countered.
Dan wagged his finger at him. "And the fact you remembered that means you care enough not to poison me." He finished his sandwich and got up. "You want to crush me, make a statement. You want revenge. I just want Chrys. If I have to go through you to get her back, so be it."
"Ha! Hahahaha..." Rice laughed, a laugh that was a mixture of disbelief and amusement of how pathetic Dan was to him. "That mare is a master manipulator. She really is. She used both of us, remember? She only cared about her favorites. She brought you here from another world, me from another time and used us both to steer Equestria the way she wanted it. You've been had, my friend."
Within every word, within every bit of quantifiable smugness, within every part of Rice at that moment, Dan found anger. He found anger once again. Not because of his delivery, which he'd heard before, not because of the arrogance, which he'd seen before, and not because of the taunting, which he'd endured before. There was something new that caused Dan's fists to ball, his blood to boil, every part of his body to shake, fill with, radiate and exude pure rage. And that something new was small, short and simple.
It was the fact that Rice might be right.
"She never loved you."
Dan got up. "GRAAAAAAARRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGG!" He grabbed the chair and charged Rice.
Rice raised his hand. "You should've remained seated."