Friendship Is Scuffed, Multiverse of Chaos

by Stalin with Da Spoon


Act 1, Chapter 1: The Wormholes

Date: Thursday, April 8th.
Time: 12:00 PM, Australian Time.
Location: Kerbal Space Center, The Classroom.

Inside the large classroom building on the outskirts of the space center, near the mission control center, stood martincitopants in his business suit, in front of a room full of his students, as up on the board, was displayed a bunch of equations, as he rambled on about how detachable thrusters are more fuel efficient.

"Now you see lads, when a booster runs out of fuel, the hot hot gas stops coming out, meaning no propulsion, meaning the ship falls..." he says as the display board shows a video of a rocket shuttle running of fuel for its boosters, for before coming crashing down into the ground in a massive explosion as parts flew everywhere. "And explodes. Now, with detachable thrusters, we can attach extra boosters, meaning more fuel, equaling more thrust. Now, class dismiss-"

As he was about to finish his sentence, behind him, a large vortex-like hole slowly tore open, as martin slowly felt himself being sucked, grasping onto his table as he screamed. "What the fuck, what the fuck, the shit is going on-AHHHHHHHHHHHH..." He said screaming loudly as he was sucked into the vortex, it sealing shut as his students having not a single clue what had just happened.

Date: 1943, June 7th.
Time: 12:00 AM, American Time.
Location: Beaches of Normandy.

Charging up the war torn beaches of normandy, would be the russian badger, wearing his good ol black soldier uniform, charging along with his friends, heavenly, grouse, bing and skulker, as they screamed while charging forward, badger firing off rounds from his M1 garand, firing off ammo as a ping sounded, indicating the weapon was dry of ammunition, as badger made noises of pure bliss. "Oh ho ho ho, there it is, there it is!" He then started reloading as everyone ducked into cover behind the ruins of a sherman tank, as german bullets rained hell onto the troops storming the beach. "And this is why I love playing enlisted!"

Heavenly and grouse burst out laughing, as bing pulled the pin on a grenade, standing up and chucking it far into the german fortifications, causing a big BOOM to sound out, as skulker had his soundboard whipped out at the time, playing a reverb fart sound effect the moment the explosion went off, as bing looked at him with rage in his eyes. "Skulker, I swear to fucking god, someday im gonna break that thing over your skull." Skulker burst out laughing with the rest of his friends, before turning to his right and noticing something.

Skulker then spoke in an uneasy voice. "Hey guys, since when the fuck were interdimensional space anomalies a thing during D-Day?" His friends turned as he pointed towards a large glowing red vortex, that all the other soldiers simply ignored, as heavenly looked at it with a red glint in his eye.

"Dunno what the fuck that is, but im boutta find out!" He said charging forward, gasping his shotgun as he leaped straight into it, his friends face palming, before everyone stood up.

Grouse spoke in an annoyed voice. "Heavenly, you fucking moron..." He said chasing after him as he leaped through the vortex, as skulker stowed his soundboard, and looked towards badger and bing.

"Welp, guess were goin on an adventure boys!" He says pulling out an airhorn and blowing it as he himself charged into the vortex.

Bing sighed, readying his rifle as he looked to badger. "Why do I feel like this is a bad idea?"

Badger spoke in a dead ass tone. "Because it is, but fuck it, we need content!" He said as both charged right into the vortex, right as it closed behind them. And yet not a single soldier on the battlefield noticed.

Date: 2001, July 1st.
Time: 12:00 PM, Australian Time. 6:00 AM, American Time.
Location: Altis.

The air was filled with smoke, ash, bullets, and the sounds of plane engines, helicopter rotors, tank treads, and gunfire, as Rimmy Downunder was huddled in a trench with Digby, RubixRaptor, SovietWomble, Cyanide, Nevil, Edberg, and a large squad of their forces united in a joint operation against a AI gone wrong on altis, proudly wearing their military uniforms and helmets, as rimmy spoke out to his comrades in an australian accent.

"Well mates, were pinned down for good, Id say."

His fellow soldiers nodded, with rubix speaking up.

"Oh, ya think? Were being pelted with guns, artillery, and tank shells man!"

Soviet decided to spout something to boost the teams spirits.

"Hey, at least they have aim as bad as cyanide's!" The soldiers of the squad all laughed out loud, with rimmy and rubix particularly laughing the loudest.

Cyanide proceeded to lift his rifle and shoot womble in the leg as he spoke with his typical welsh accent.

"Fook you, ya cunt, ill have you know my shooting fine."

Womble didn't really feel the gun shot, as friendly fire was off, but he still shot cyanide back, with nevil and edberg face palming. "Morons..."

Suddenly, in front of their trench line, a massive red vortex slowly tore open, with all of the soldiers looking on confusion, with rimmy speaking up.

"Now what in the blazin hell is that?" Rimmy said in a heavy aussie accent, as digby screamed.

"ITS HERESY, I SAY!"

Rubix facepalmed, then turned to digby.

"Not everything is heresy digby, although this definitely looks like the work of the forces of chaos, but still."

Cyanide decided to try and be funny, as he spoke to nevil.

"No balls that you run into that thing..."

Nevil slowly turned to him, as he stood up and held his rifle. "Bet." He said charging forward into the vortex, being enveloped by it, as his fellow soldiers stood up in confusion, with soviet slapping cyanide.

"WHY DID YOU TELL HIM TO GO IN!?!"

"I DIDN'T THINK HE WOULD ACTUALLY GO!"

Rubix and rimmy both sighed and spoke at the same time. "Guess we gotta go after him."

Everyone sighed, as Digby proceeded to go into commissar mode, as he spoke to his fellow soldiers, getting them all riled up. "ALRIGHT MEN, TODAY WE ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON A GRAND INTER DIMENSIONAL ODYSSEY TO ANOTHER WORLD! WHO KNOWS WHAT HORRORS WE SHALL WITNESS ON THE OTHER SIDE, BUT WE SHALL STEEL OURSELVES AND BE READY TO FIGHT FOR THE RECOVERY OF OUR COMRADE!" As he finished, everyone cheered, including rimmy and rubix, as everyone hopped from the trench, and charged forward into the vortex, and after the last soldier jumped in, it sealed shut, vanishing from view.

Date: 1997, June 19th.
Location: First City Central Bank.
Time: Oh, who am I kidding, at this point, I don't even know anymore!

Within the bank, there was a robbery going on. Or at least, there should've been, but right now the robbers were confused out of their mind, as before, was standing a well dressed detective and his two assistant children officers, as he stared down the three criminals, as he then spoke out, the robbers expecting him to say something along the lines of 'Your under arrest!' or 'Halt, thieves!'. What really came out of his mouth confused them.

"I, detective dan, am here to make a withdrawal!" He said walking right past the robbers, as he tipped his hat. "Scuse me..." He then walked up to the bank teller, who had his hands and spoke to them. "Why ya got ya hands up, there a party or somethin?"

The teller than spoke in a frantic tone. "What? NO! The bank is being robbed!" The detectives eyes shot wide open as he reached for his gun in his holster and whipped it out, as he yelled out.

"THE BANK IS BEING ROBBED!?!" As he raised his gun, the robbers were spooked a bit, before the detective spun around to look at them. "You three, you robbing this bank?"

One of the robbers, confused and slightly terrified, spoke up. "Ummmmmmm... No?"

Detective dan nodded. "Alright then..." He then pointed it to the teller. "SO ITS YOU ROBBING THE BANK!"

The teller raised his hands as he screamed. "No, I am not!" Dan furrowed his brow in confusing, tapping the gun on his chin.

"Well someone is robbing the place! And Im gonna find out who, cause im detective dan, and dan always gets his man!" He said firing his gun into the air randomly, causing a chandelier to fall right on top of the robbers, crushing them as they dropped bags full of cash, everyone in the bank cheering, as dan posed dramatically. "See, told ya! Im detective dan!" He then looked out the window to see a large red wormhole slowly tear open, as he stared at it a bit before looking at his officer assistants. "Boys, throw me out the window!" The boys both looked at each other, grabbing him, walking him over to the window, and throwing him through it and into the vortex.

"Do we follow them?"

"Nah, we don't get paid enough for this."


Date: Unknown.
Estimated Time: 6 AM.
Location: Equestria, Canterlot Castle Balcony.

High above on top of the balcony, stood princess celestia, next to her sister, princess luna, as they looked to the sky with fear in their eyes, as what they saw horrified them. Tons of burning wreckage and scrap metal slowly burned through the atmosphere, as a massive metal object slowly fell from the sky, as if it had fallen from the heavens themselves, as it left a trail of smoke and fire behind it, as it slowly came crashing down into the distant mountain ranges with a big BOOM, disturbing all of equestria's population from their slumbers. Celestia looked worryingly towards luna as she looked back.

"Sister, what did we just witness?" Luna shook her head, unsure, as she looked to the sky again to see several red streaks of energy burning through the sky, all of them scattering at random, one crashing right in the center of canterlot, as the sisters nodded to each other, quickly expanding their wings and flying down to investigate, and as they arrived on the ground, what they saw was not only an incredible, but also a terrifying, and confusing one, as before them stood around 20 bipedal creatures, all of them holding strange metal sticks and wearing strange looking armor, all of them bearing a variety of insignia, one of them wearing an eccentric uniform with what appeared to be a unknown creatures skull en-christened on the hat, as the one leading them looked and slowly removed his goggles, speaking in a strange accent.

"Now where the bloody hell have we ended up now?" The strange bipedal creature was then answered by another one as they stepped forward, speaking in yet another strange accent.

"Well, were definitely not on altis anymore, lads." And then, another voice spoke up, this time, there accent a bit more clearer.

"And what gave that away, womble?"

The sisters slowly turned their heads towards each other, confused looks on their faces. They were in for a long day...